


The World's Skype Chat (Satan Drama)

by HetaliaVocaloidHamiltonTrash, MettatonNEO



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: !!!, Can we all agree that at Ireland's wedding Legally Blonde will be playing, Czech is very sassy, Drunk Texting, England is a ho, F/F, F/M, France is also kinda sassy, Friends With Benefits, Guest onetime characters, Hetalia, Hungary is badass, I GOT A MESSAGE ON TUMBLR, I have a problem, I needed that in the tags, I'm sure it'll get better, Iceland is a meme, Im not sure when but there's a really sudden thing, Ireland is too Catholic, M/M, Moldova and Romania are lowkey vampires, Mun Metta has a girlfriend let this stop ships from sailing, Mun Trash has a girlfriend, Mun metta is a loser, Norway is lowkey evil, Please Kill Me, SAYING YOU SHIPPED THE MUNS, STOP SHIPPING THE MUNS, Shit, Squad, Stupid shit, THE MUNS ARE BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER, Texting, This chat is just musical references being yelled aggressively by godly toddlers, This is really dumb, UPDATE: DONT SHIP THE MUNS, Why am I even writing this, and shit goes wrong from there and that's where we left off, aph, bad, can we petition to make this canon, crisis averted sorta, do you like murder, dumb shit, even more stupid shit, eventually, friends being dumb, great cuz I dont, hey look more angst, in short why have one ship with both muns when you can have two ships that both have muns, it also gets dark around chaper 12... ish...?, it backfires, kinkshaming, like really sudden like Czech decides to try and play a try-guys thing, mature content, moldova is 3 edgy 5 you, oh so gay, ok it's backto regular shitposting, ok that was a tangent but yeah, please don't kill us, que the tapping of the head, shitpost, shitposting, so is Poland, speaking of, specifically "Ireland" or "Ireland - reprise", texting au, that gives you a good idea of the muns, the entire thing is really just characters texting, this is gay, we like sass here, we're almost at chapter 69, we're not dead, we're working on the next chapter, welp time to think of 69 jokes, why am I googling so much about poisons for this one chat, wow really gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2018-07-14 08:30:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 82
Words: 100,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7162472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HetaliaVocaloidHamiltonTrash/pseuds/HetaliaVocaloidHamiltonTrash, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MettatonNEO/pseuds/MettatonNEO
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written by two authors sharing an account not that you care about that part. The entire story doesn't follow anything specific and goes off on tangents lmao it's mostly drabble writing. Consisting of: England being kinkshamed, Everyone being kinkshamed, no like literally everyone, Czech roasting people, Iceland's dank memes, murder and last but not least LITERALLY EVERYONE GETS KINKSHAMED.</p><p>{New summary addition since it sorta need a an update so it isn't so vague, done by Metta}: Just to add on a bit, it isn't just murder and kinkshaming. As with the authors' and commenters' ideas, things seem to evolve, pan out, settle down, and are tossed back into the blender of 21St and below century comedy.<br/>That was scarily formal for this chat.<br/>Eh, you'll know what I mean.<br/>{Metta out}</p><p>Authors are in constant need of validation and run off of comments</p><p>Romania: NOTAVAMP<br/>Norway: Vikingking<br/>England:Eyebrow&SconeAesthetic<br/>Czech: TheSpaQueen<br/>Poland: TheFabulousPolska<br/>Ireland: 3Catholic5U<br/>Moldova: MyBrothersAVampire<br/>Iceland: IceIceBby<br/>France: loveandrosesaesthetic<br/>Hungary: hungaryandhungry</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In which Czech goes a bit overboard kinkshaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Czech literally lectures Arthur about rape and goes off on a tangent so warning to everyone right off the bat XD

Notavamp >> added eyebrow&sconeaesthetic and vikingking to the conversation

 

Notavamp > May or may not have erased Hungary’s face

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Again?

Notavamp > yeah…… again

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You must be joking. Honestly Vlad, we spoke about this!

Vikingking > AGAIN with the grammar Arthur

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > …you don’t know how much I want to transport you into hell right now…

Vikingking > would be warmer

Notavamp > czech needs to see this shit

 

Notavamp >> added thespaqueen to the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > I have been summoned what did u idiots do now

Thespaqueen > Update after reading up: wtf did u do Vlad

Notavamp > I did you a favor

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > FAVOUR

Thespaqueen > There goes the last fuck I give

Vikingking > I didn’t know you still had any to give

Thespaqueen > lol no but like why did you erase Liz’s face???

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Wait, you have pet names for eachother now?

Thespaqueen > See the little space between girl and friend is called the FRIEND ZONE

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Czech, we all knew that. Unlike you, we’re not in that ‘little space between girl and friend’ called the friend zone.

Thespaqueen > Cuz we r all hella gay

Vikingking > well… if you’re with Hungary…

Thespaqueen > I’M NOT WITH HER MKAY

Notavamp > that’s cute you’re in denial. I ship it~

Thespaqueen > I’M GETTING MY BROTHER DON’T MAKE ME SUFFER LIKE THIS

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well, if it’s come to that, I might as well get Ireland. A little company never hurt.

Vikingking > yeah it has. Not in the mood to talk to him.

Thespaqueen > I rlly don’t want to talk to your alcoholic brother rn tbh

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> added 3catholic5u to the conversation

 

3catholic5u > alcoholic?

Thespaqueen > Yeah u literally can’t hold a drink for shit either

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Here we go…

3catholic5u > can’t drINK FOR SHIT? YOU WANNA GO? DRINKING CONTEST RN

Thespaqueen > Um tonight it’s fucking weird to get drunk midday

 

Thespaqueen >> added thefabulouspolska to the conversation

 

Thefabulouspolska > fight fight fight fight

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > No, nobody’s fighting.

 

Notavamp >> added mybrothersavampire to the conversation.

 

Mybrothersavampire > fight fight fight fight

Thefabulouspolska > My money’s on Ireland tbh

Thespaqueen > MY OWN BROTHER

Mybrothersavampire > How much money you wanna bet that Czech’ll win??

Notavamp > Moldova youre not even old enough to gamble. Bet on ireland though he’ll win 4 sure

Thespaqueen > I’m gonna go get someone who actually supports me on this does anyone know Hungary’s screen name

Notavamp > does me erasing her face ring any bells??

Thespaqueen > This was all an elaborate plan to upset me tbh

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m betting on Czech.

Thespaqueen > Rlly?? Thnx for that

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > someone else needs to root for the winner.

Vikingking > ...but he’s your brother

Thespaqueen > “Ring any bells??”

Notavamp > touché

Thefabulouspolska > Czech how old r u 2 b drinking

Thespaqueen > Thousands tbh

Thefabulouspolska > It was more

Thespaqueen > You should never ask a lady her age

Vikingking > so, you’re quoting her now?

Thespaqueen > Get off my fucking back fite me right now

Vikingking has left the conversation

Notavamp > he left with his spellbook…

Thespaqueen > Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

Thespaqueen > I DIDN’T MEAN IT HE FUCKING TELEPORTED HIMSELF INTO MY ROOM

3catholic5u > uh… is the contest still on, or…

Thespaqueen > YES JUST GET ANGRY BUTTER MAN OUT OF MY HOME WHY ISN’T SLOVAKIA AROUND I NEED BACKUP

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> added iceicebby to the conversation

 

Iceicebby > rarepepe.png

Iceicebby > Wait wait I just read the chat †holy† fuck Czech say ur prayers  
Notavamp > you’re doomed

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > yep.

Iceicebby > Great Googly Moogly It’s All GoNE TO SHIT

Thespaqueen > Im literally abt to get murdered and you bring up memes

Iceicebby > datboi.png

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > … Emil, add your brother back.

Thespaqueen > I fucking hate you

 

Iceicebby >> added vikingking to the conversation

 

Vikingking > Too much work to hide a body

Thespaqueen > I don’t feel comfortable with the fact that you can wander into my room whenever you want

Vikingking > teleport

Iceicebby > He sees you when ur sleeping he knows when ur awake

Thespaqueen > I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHAT U CALL IT

3catholic5u > either x-mas or stalking, at this point i’m not sure

Thespaqueen > R u ever sure about anything ur never sober >:)

3catholic5u > i’m sure my beer is better than yours, if you have anything to say about it

 

Thefabulouspolska has left the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU STARTED RN

3catholic5u > and you don’t know how to pour it right

Thespaqueen > WE DON’T DRINK UR SHITTY GUINNESS

3catholic5u > shitty? I’ll have you know that’s…

Thespaqueen > Did you have nothing to say

Thespaqueen > lmao

Vikingking > so Czech… you’re saying your beer is better?

Thespaqueen > The best.

Vikingking > if its better, wouldnt you spend more time getting drunk on it?

Thespaqueenir > Unlike some people I can actually hold beer :)

3catholic5u > cAN ACTUALLY HOLD BEER?! YOU WERENT SAYING THAT WITH FELIKS LAST NIGHT!! YOU TWO WERE DRUNK AS ALL HELL!!!

Thespaqueen > If ur saying anything dirty went on btwn me and my brother how would you know that if you weren’t there?? Got something to tell us?

3catholic5u > Nothing… nothing i’d like to

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Czech, you do know that you’re suggesting you’ve had sex with your brother, right?

Thespaqueen > Don’t kinkshame me you literally fucked most of the world against their will http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02388/BRITAIN_2388153b.jpg if we were able to call the cops back then I swear

Vikingking > he’s been around francis for too long

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Don’t bring Francis into this.

Thespaqueen > He’s been around Francis if you know what I mean ;)  


eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Don’t.

Thespaqueen > He legit fucked all of us against our will at one point caN WE FUCKING TALK ABOUT THIS

Vikingking > poor choice of words

Notavamp > you do know my baby brother’s still here right

Mybrothersavampire > I am a changed nation now

Thespaqueen > o shit remove him someone

Iceicebby > O Shit Waddup

Notavamp >> kicked mybrothersavampire from the conversation

3catholic5u > u need 2 let Jesus into your life

Thespaqueen > Out of all of the miss-spells and lowercase letters the one word written correctly by u is jesus.

3catholic5u > do you realize how disrespectful that is? it on;y takes a second--if that-- to capitalize it!

Thespaqueen > I still never will understand Christians

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Please, not again… Czech, remember the story of when I told him I was protestant?

Thespaqueen > AT THAT TIME YOU WERE STILL BANGING ALL OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS NOT LIKE HE HAD THE POWER TO SAY ANYTHING ANYWAYS

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oh would yOU SHUT UP ABOUT THAT? ITS BLOODY HISTORY! iT CAN’T BE CHANGED! YOU DON’T THINK I HATE IT, TOO?

3catholic5u > … this got deep way too fast guys

Thespaqueen > Not gonna stop until he literally acknowledges the fact that there was a support group more than half the world attended all plotting about how we would like to have Arthur’s head on display

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic has left the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > ...Oh yeah we still on for the drinking contest?

 

3catholic5u has left the conversation

 

Notavamp > I’d take that as a no

Thespaqueen > I win by default

Vikingking > I heard him storm out of his room… i don’t think you want to see two of us in one night

Thespaqueen > Can we now talk about how Nor lives with England, Ireland, and Romania like goddamn how many hos have u got

 

Vikingking has left the conversation

 

Notavamp > since Arthur’s family can do magic ‘n all, we decided to bunk 4 a few days

Notavamp > nothing like what u were thinking

Thespaqueen > How do u know what I was thinking? U suggesting anything?? ;)

Notavamp > you've been in this conversation. The whole time. I think you know why.

 

Notavamp has left the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > Natural selection

Thespaqueen > …

Thespaqueen > A lonely existence

Iceicebby > oshitwaddup.png

 

Thespaqueen has left the conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter?? Probably the drinking challenge. Place your bets as to who wins in the comments


	2. In which Czech wins but also dies a little inside

3catholic5u >> added vikingking, notavamp, eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, thespaqueen, thefabulouspolska, mybrothersavampire, iceicebby

 

Thespaqueen > Idk what did you guys do?? Czech just passed out and Feliks is all over the place yelling about money - Slovakia

Vikingking > we had a drinking contest… I was the designated driver

Thespaqueen > Ooh who won - Slovakia

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > WELl of cuorse i won im teh untitled blody kindom!!

Thefabulouspolska > Didn ot Czec won

Iceicebby > Honestly you had to be there only me Moldova and Nor didn’t drink and we got some pretty funny pictures of them

Vikingking > you needed to be there to believe it

Mybrothersavampire > TBH I think that today was both the best and worst day of my life I’m never going to see this group the same way ever again

Notavamp > Spar ehim

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > n osurvors in dis war

Thespaqueen > You guys need to stop Czech is probably going to die tmrw morning. I have to deal with her all of tmrw was it worth making me suffer?? - Slovakia

Notavamp > apsolutly 

Thespaqueen > Well fuck you too. You better pay me for all of this bullshit I gotta deal with - Slovakia

Vikingking > ...how much

Thespaqueen > I hear enough about you guys from Czech well enough to know that there was a bet amount how much was that? - Slovakia

Vikingking > it was only supposed to be Czech and Ireland… but England and Moldova bet almost 1k on her and every1 else bet almost 2k on Ireland

Thespaqueen > fine 20% of Czech’s bet. Would that be $200?? - Slovakia

Iceicebby > no way in hell are we paying you you 200 to deal w a mess she started lmao

3catholic5u > dont tak me credit i startd it

Thespaqueen > Fine Ireland is gonna pay $200 then. - Slovakia

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > hes not givng any off my mony too teh likes of u

Thespaqueen > IDK how drunk England is but he isn’t using correct grammar or acknowledging that he’s only like a fourth of the UK so I’m assuming he drank almost as much as Czech?? - Slovakia

Vikingking > actually… he drank half as much as her

Thespaqueen > Pfft ur serious?? Why would he even join I’m hoping nobody bet on him - Slovakia

Vikingking > we’re smarter than that. he can’t drink. at all.

Thespaqueen > No shit Sherlock. Why did u let him join in? - Slovakia

Mybrothersavampire > We didn’t but Ice was cool with it bc he got to send Leon a funny snapchat of him

Iceicebby > Guilty as charged

Vikingking > not surprised

Vikingking > was a good picture though

Mybrothersavampire > TBH I’m surprised he didn’t make Leon come along

Thespaqueen > U all are legitimately so gay like do you puke rainbows?? - Slovakia

Notavamp > yuo just notced

Thespaqueen > Haha no wonder Czech fit right in she told u guys abt Hungary right?? - Slovakia

Vikingking > in a way. she denied it

Thespaqueen > BTW can you give Hungary her face back Czech is really salty about it - Slovakia

Vikingking > can’t. Romania needs to do it, too many curses. Eng and I can’t figure out what he put on her. Romania’s too drunk 4 this. Try tomorrow. I can make him do it.

Thespaqueen > So on top of Czech’s hungover yelling she’s gonna be upset about this. I want 50% of the bet she’s gonna actually be the biggest nuisance - Slovakia

Thefabulouspolska > waitu p did Czeh tel u hse liks Hungary?! She didn ttell me!

Thespaqueen > Um English please Feliks - Slovakia

Thefabulouspolska > HSE LIKS HUNGRY?? 

Vikingking > yes. she likes Hungary. relax. 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > waIT SEH LIKES HUNGRY??

Iceicebby > 4 the last time, yes!! She likes Hungary!!

Thespaqueen > You didn’t hear this from me ok - Slovakia

Vikingking > wait, she likes Hungary?

Thespaqueen > I’m gonna give you 1 more chance to shut the fuck up - Slovakia

3catholic5u > for teh luv of jesus 

Iceicebby >Wait

Iceicebby > Should we tell him

Mybrothersavampire > Did the most freaking Catholic country in the world just

Iceicebby > Shh don’t tell him he’s gonna actually die

Vikingking > i’m telling him

Mybrothersavampire > Prepare for drunken sobbing heard all the way from his room

Vikingking > Ireland, you didn’t capitalize Jesus. 

 

3catholic5u has left the conversation

 

Vikingking > I can hear him crying in his room

Vikingking > on the other side of the house

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Lukass wat did udo??

Thespaqueen > Yeah LUKASS - Slovakia

Thespaqueen > I was gonna delete this chat so Czech couldn’t see what I was saying earlier but just for that this is not only gonna be saved but printed out and hung up - Slovakia

Vikingking > oh god no

Thespaqueen > I’m telling Czech that you have a new nickname - Slovakia

 

Vikingking has left the conversation

 

Notavamp > tere gos lukass

Thespaqueen > Oh yeah I probably shouldn’t be taking advice from a bunch of people who are drunk out of their minds but like I need some help here - Slovakia

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > got u fam

Thespaqueen > Further proving my point… Ok, so should I or should I not tell Czech that she asked Hungary out by text while she was still awake and very much drunk??

Mybrothersavampire > How did you find this out

Thespaqueen > I again “may or may not be” going through her phone conversations. Help me out here tho??

Iceicebby > drawthesquad.png

Notavamp > slovaciado it

Iceicebby > Freeshaslovaciado

Mybrothersavampire > HE MEANT “SLOVAKIA DO IT” DON’T BE FUCKING RUDE

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > watchur fkn language!

Thespaqueen > Alright thanks for the advice also Romania control your kid brother please - Slovakia

Mybrothersavampire > rude

 

Mybrothersavampire has left the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > Shit Czech is up I’m leaving have fun explaining this chat I’m going to hide in Poland’s room - Slovakia

Iceicebby > He didn’t even participate in the chat did Feliks die or something

Thespaqueen > He’s fucking drunken bedazzling his room save me - Slovakia

Notavamp > sendme teh pics

Thespaqueen > Feliksssparklyassroom.png - Slovakia

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > o god

Thespaqueen > SHIT HIDE ME FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUT CZECH IS HERE- Slovakia

Iceicebby > Only god can save you now

Thespaqueen > wha tthe fuc whyy dos my haed hurt so ba d wh ythe fuk did Slovakia say al that

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ikd

Iceicebby > I’m screenshotting this chat and sending it to Mei and Leon this is actual gold

Thespaqueen > IHAT E U PLAESE DONT

Iceicebby > Ask nicely??

Thespaqueen > Im goin g too bed

Iceicebby > Haha good night be ready for ur big date tomorrow

 

Thespaqueen has left the conversation

 

Notavamp > SAEV HER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happens next??? Whatever the fuck that date is


	3. In which Ireland calls everyone a dirty heathen

Notavamp >> added eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, vikingking, 3catholic5u, thespaqueen, thefabulouspolska, iceicebby, and mybrothersavampire to the conversation

 

Notavamp > gave Hungary her face back

Thespaqueen > Fuck that explains why she was able to text me back abt a date

Thespaqueen > Why the hell did I even??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You were drunk, we all were.

Iceicebby > ehem

Mybrothersavampire > cough cough

Vikingking > sure…

Thespaqueen > Are you saying that not all of us have raging headaches and a will to die??

Vikingking > basically

Thefabulouspolska > TBH I don’t regret it my room is bedazzled as hell

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > For some reason I’m not surprised. 

Thespaqueen > can we jusT TALK ABT HOW LIZ SAID YES TO MY DRUNKEN REQUEST FOR A DATE?? WHAT??

3catholic5u > so… it’s canon now?

Thespaqueen > jesus christ shut up

3catholic5u > did you just

3catholic5u > dirty heathen

3catholic5u > fix it

Thespaqueen > jesus christ :)

3catholic5u > fix it

Thespaqueen > jESUS cHRIST

3catholic5u > foR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY FIX THE GODDAMN THING

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > And you’re the catholic one… Seamus, you know better than to say ‘Goddamn’. 

3catholic5u > …

3catholic5u > fuck

Thespaqueen > Blasphemy

3catholic5u > I’m sorry!!

Thespaqueen > Fine I’ll fix it. *Jesus Christ.

3catholic5u > thank you. Finally.

Vikingking > you really need to relax about that. Stop forcing your religion on everyone.

Thespaqueen > SOMEONE QUICK GO BACK IN TIME AND TELL ARTHUR THAT

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oh, not again…

Thespaqueen > Okay okay not again

Thespaqueen > But seriously I have a date to go to what do I do??

Notavamp > if it’s with Hungary, pray

Thespaqueen > Like I don’t think I would be so nervous if she wasn’t previously married to the actual biggest douche in the world??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > She’s not married to Francis.

Thespaqueen > No you are. BUT LIKE SHE WAS MARRIED TO FUCKING AUSTRIA HOW DO YOU EVEN?!

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m not, and the key word there is ‘was’. Relax. You’ll be fine. Just… make sure she leaves her frying pan at home. We don’t want to hide another body.

Thespaqueen > Another??

Notavamp > long story

Vikingking > it was only once

3catholic5u > you were there

Thespaqueen > Ok I don’t remember so how drunk was I??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You weren’t.

Thespaqueen > I WAS ON SOMETHING OK WHAT EVEN HAPPENED

Iceicebby > You were 420 blazin it

Mybrothersavampire > Are you just a meme is that all you live for

Iceicebby > ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Vikingking > trust me, you have no idea. Remember the fact that I live w/ him? it’s usually worse than this

Thespaqueen > IS HIS ROOM’S WALLPAPER A PEPE

Vikingking > close. Dat boi

Iceicebby > O shit waddup

Vikingking > of course…

Thespaqueen >Should I text you guys again just before I’m meeting up w Hungary bc I need HELP

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Sure, but since when are we love experts?

Thespaqueen > IDK I JUST ASSUMED BC YOU COURTED HALF OF THE FUCKING PLANET

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic has left the conversation

 

Vikingking > now you’ve done it

Notavamp > he just stepped outside

Notavamp > pretty sure he’s yelling at a cloud

Iceicebby > Old man yells at cloud

Notavamp > wtf czech what did u start

Thespaqueen > Kinkshaming an old man: part 2

3catholic5u > he’s not /that/ old

Thespaqueen > He really is. He really really is.

3catholic5u > just trying to help

3catholic5u >> added eyebrow&sconeaesthetic to the conversation

Thespaqueen > OK OK I have to get ready I’ll text you guys soon I’m going now.

Thespaqueen > Ok but like I’m texting you guys w my phone under the table while Liz turns away this is top level shade

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > That can’t end well.

Notavamp > you should show her this conversation

Vikingking > just not the drunken one. what happens in the group stays in the group

Thespaqueen > Ok how abt I don’t bc about half of the last one is my brother gossiping about her and the one before that talks about England raping just about all of Europe so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Like Nor said, what happens here stays here. Tell no one.

Thespaqueen > Fair enough.

Thespaqueen > I swear I think we have an uninvited fuckwad here to ruin the day

Thespaqueen > PrussiaandAustriaareinthefuckingwindow.png

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > What the hell??

Thespaqueen > Someone murder them before I do I don’t want to ruin the one nice thing in my closet

Notavamp > why do we need to do all your work for you?

Thespaqueen > HELP ME

Vikingking > how about no. deal with them yourself.

Thespaqueen > AUSTRIA’S COMING IN IM ABOUT TO SLAP HIS CORSE- ASS BACK INTO LAST TUESDAY GET HIM OUT OF HERE.

3catholic5u > unless he gets within a few feet away from you and starts talking like an idiot DO NOT ENGAGE

Thespaqueen > He’s been giving me a dirty look the entire time can he just deal with the fact that he can’t hold a girl for longer than an arranged marriage is necessary??

3catholic5u > you said Prussia was there too right? what’s he up to?

Thespaqueen > IDK He’s still outside but what is he even doing and why does he still exist

Vikingking > you’re throwing more shade than usual

Notavamp > also no one really knows

Thespaqueen > SORRY BUT IF MISTER STEAL YO GIRL PRANCES IN HERE IM GONNA DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT

Notavamp > this is actually amazing

Thespaqueen > I just realized that hungary has been texting the entire time I feel so betrayed

Thespaqueen > Feliks is in said group chat what is this

Notavamp > he’s just lurking here in the shadows

Thespaqueen > Much like you, “Not a vampire” Vlad

Notavamp > not the time, remember that date you’re on?

Thespaqueen > Don’t divert my attention to the fact that you’re actually Dracula

Thespaqueen > Wait wait that’s right I actually have to socialize rn my bad

Vikingking > how do you forget something like that

Vikingking > how

Thespaqueen > Unlike the rest of u I can’t actually remember the last time I was on a date

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Have you ever been on a date?

Thespaqueen > Only once before and I was maybe ten?? Remember those days when Liechtenstein wasn’t a greedy bitch?? Those were the days

3catholic5u > I’m showing Switzerland this

Thespaqueen > DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE YOU STILL HAVE TO PAY UP FROM YESTERDAY

3catholic5u > ...I thought you forgot

Thespaqueen > Slovakia reminded me

Thespaqueen > We have gone ten minutes into this date without even a greeting what is this

Iceicebby > THIS IS SPARTA

Notavamp > this is failure. Just say ‘hi’ already. Hit her in the back of the head if you need to.

Thespaqueen > I’m not going to his Hungary. Hold on how about “Hello I am a fellow human and you fail to recognize my obvious presence as well as you douchebag ex-husband’s”

Thespaqueen > Nailed it (I didn’t actually say it but imagine)

Vikingking > if you want to get technical neither of you are human, but good try anyways

Thespaqueen > GO TO HELL

Thespaqueen > Remember that one point where we all thought we were human it was just really unfortunate when the sweet release of death never came

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Is there something you’d like to talk about?

Thespaqueen > Wait so that was just me

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well… yes.

Thespaqueen > well then

Thespaqueen > I’m going to attempt to make contact with fellow female nation now

Thespaqueen > Apparently she was so wrapped up in her conversation she didn’t realize I was here until I got her attention???

Notavamp > that’s just sad

Thespaqueen > She’s in a skyPE CHAT WITH HER GROUP OF FRIENDS WHAT IS THIS EVEN WHY IS FELIKS TALKING TO HER AND NOT HELPING ME OUT HERE

Thefabulouspolska > why not?

Vikingking > Feliks we thought you were dead or something

Thefabulouspolska > No but Liz was nervous that you weren’t gonna show up for FIFTEEN MINUTES explain urself

Thespaqueen > I have no words

Notavamp > she was freaking out too so…

3catholic5u > not just Hungary

Vikingking > Pol why were you gone 4 so long

Thefabulouspolska > I was literally just telling Hungary not to be nervous for the last half hour so cmon?

Thespaqueen > Welp thanks a lot I have to actually communicate with her now u know how I hate doing that

Thefabulouspolska > For someone who dislikes speaking you talk a lot of shit

Notavamp > tru

Thespaqueen > I learn from the best :)

3catholic5u > wow…

Thespaqueen > We are a family of shittalkers :) Slovenia is probably the only normal one in my family and he decided to not even use social media

Thefabulouspolska > Being salty is a family art

Notavamp > teach me your ways

Thespaqueen > NOT THE TIME

Thespaqueen > Wait Hungary asked to join the chat what do I say

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Yes would work.

Thespaqueen > Ok sure hold on let me add her

 

Thespaqueen >> added hungaryandhungry to the conversation

Notavamp > hungaryandhungry? Really? That’s your username?

Hungaryandhungry > Better than you making your username the bullshit claim that you aren’t a vampire.

Notavamp > well, that’s a new low for you. Are you gonna hit me w/your frying pan to get rid of me?

Hungaryandhungry > I clearly remember that in “Dracula” John hit you with a shovel, not a frying pan.

Notavamp > didn’t keep me down for long

Hungaryandhungry > You just admitted to being a vampire change your name

Notavamp > maybe I did, maybe I didn’t

Hungaryandhungry > Um you actually did… On a separate note, hi everyone.

Thefabulouspolska > You hurt my best friend Czech I swear

Thespaqueen > MY OWN BROTHER

3catholic5u > wow, when have I heard that one before

Thespaqueen > cough cough 

Thespaqueen > coughs louder

Thespaqueen > My brother has no faith in me

Notavamp > none of us do  
Thespaqueen > The one thing me and Hungary have in common so far is your disapproval then

Hungaryandhungry > Good to see we all get along well

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Can you just explain why you were on a skype chat with Feliks on a date. Please. 

Hungaryandhungry > Did he not already tell you twice?? Same reason as Czech I guess

Vikingking > aren’t you two right across from each other? Look up, share an awkward moment together, and talk.

Thespaqueen > Fuck we still haven’t ordered 

Notavamp > fail

Thespaqueen > TBH this is my kinda date. No actual social interaction and a ridiculous skype chat like what could be better??

3catholic5u > that’s not a date

Iceicebby > foreveralone.png

Thefabulouspolska > Oh yeah meet iceland the literal fucking meme

Iceicebby > No but like how introverted even are you??

Thespaqueen > Um it’s over 9000 to be completely honest (I had to say it in a language that Emil could understand)

Vikingking > pretty sure he got that

Thespaqueen > Is he transforming into supersaian weeaboo

Vikingking > he’s been like that for a while now

Hungaryandhungry > WAS HE BORN TO THE SOUND OF THE TROLL SONG

Vikingking > it’s best we don’t find out

Iceicebby > Guys the troll meme is old now jesus christ

3catholic5u > FOR GOODNESS FUCKING SAKES CAPITALIZE IT!! YOU’RE ALL A LOAD OF DIRTY HEATHENS!! FIX THE DAMN THING!!

Iceicebby > ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Hungaryandhungary > Please calm down Ireland it’s not that big of a deal

3catholic5u > have you no respect?!

Hungaryandhungry > Not with your obsessive compulsive relationship with Jesus

3catholic5u > at least you wrote it right…

Thespaqueen > And if I told you guys I’m left handed??

3catholic5u > SATAN

Thespaqueen > You know my secret guys I’m caught

Thespaqueen > 666

Hungaryandhungry > Stop I’m gonna spit out my apple juice all over Czech right now

Notavamp > as long as you send a pic!

3catholic5u > I’m done. Just done.

 

3catholic5u has left the conversation

 

Iceicebby > He has u in his prayers 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > He’s praying for you go to hell. Trust me on this.

Thespaqueen > I’m currently covered in a mix of apple juice and saliva jfc

Hungaryandhungry > Shit im sorry

Hungaryandhungry > 2nd date??

Thespaqueen > Don’t talk to me I’m salty

Notavamp > savage

Hungaryandhungry > Damn right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's after this?? Problematic date cleanup


	4. In Which England Doesn't picked on AS MUCH

Thespaqueen >> added 3catholic5u, eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, thefabulouspolska, notavamp, iceicebby, mybrothersavampire, vikingking, and hungaryandhungry to the conversation 

Thespaqueen > I’M STILL TRYING TO GET THE APPLE JUICE OFF OF MY DRESS

Notavamp > it’s already been a day how have you not??

Hungaryandhungry > I’m sorry ok your friends are really funny

Thespaqueen > TBH I think you like my friends more than you like me

Notavamp > awww, thanks.

Hungaryandhungry > Well that isn’t really true for SOME of you.

Thespaqueen > Ouch you’re really cold what is this literal salt mine

Notavamp > after effects of spitting apple juice

Thespaqueen > I need to take my eyes off of that failure of trying to advance my love life. ENGLAND! I like picking on you. 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m flattered.

Thespaqueen > Quick tell us about how you’re forever alone

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> added love&rosesaesthetic to the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > Shit matching usernames I have a bad feeling about this

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > It was his idea.

love&rosesaesthetic > what? you don’t like it?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Francis, I’ve told you to watch your grammar. 

love&rosesaesthetic > it is just a text, not a novel.

Vikingking > you haven’t said that to any of us.

Vikingking > why say it to him?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > He’s been around long enough to know it ticks me off.

Hungaryandhungry > Correction: He’s been around you enough

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > touché

Thespaqueen > Feliks, what about you??

Thefabulouspolska > You literally live with me and have met Toris multiple times

Thespaqueen > I’m desperate for someone to pick on. Ice??

Iceicebby > Nope. Taken. Suffer

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Why not just pick on Francis?

love&rosesaesthetic > wow, I knew you loved me…

Thespaqueen > He’s too nice to pick on tbh. Um… Ireland??

3catholic5u > no.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > That way a typo, right? Too nice?

love&rosesaesthetic > thanks for the support…

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oh, please. You put up with this enough.

love&rosesaesthetic > sometimes I forget why I still like you

Thespaqueen > IDK love and patience are both dumb concepts why do you need those when you have the internet??

Hungaryandhungry > Wait wait did Ireland say no? As in ‘you can pick on him’ no?

3catholic5u > I said no to both.

love&rosesaesthetic > does everyone here hate me??

Hungaryandhungry > Yes

Thespaqueen > no tbh

love&rosesaesthetic > at least I have Czech on my side

Thespaqueen > I know England well enough to know that the more he claims he hates you he really doesn’t so why even take anything he says seriously anymore

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > It’s a force of habit.

love&rosesaesthetic > I never did

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > At least you’re honest…

Thespaqueen > Relationships at their best everyone

Hungaryandhungry > This chat is just sad honestly

Notavamp > wait until you see the drunken one

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Please don’t.

love&rosesaesthetic > I… I just read it. I have many questions. First of all… Czech likes Hungary??

 

Thespaqueen has left the conversation

 

love&rosesaesthetic > taking that as a yes.

love&rosesaesthetic > also… Arthur. Explain.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’d rather not.

Hungaryandhungry > Wait wait I just read this garbage… Czech likes Hungary?? Hold on

 

Hungaryandhungry >> added thespaqueen to the conversation

 

Hungaryandhungry > Czech likes Hungary??

 

Thespaqueen has left the conversation

Thefabulouspolska > She’s shouting into her pillow why can I hear it from all the way down the hall

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Same reason I could hear Ireland.

 

3catholic5u has left the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > We pissed them off.

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> added 3catholic5u to the conversation

 

3catholic5u > really

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Absolutely. 

 

Hungaryandhungry >> added thespaqueen to the conversation.

 

Thespaqueen > Let me wallow in my fucking shame alone pls

love&rosesaesthetic > sorry no

Thespaqueen > Why do you enjoy my suffering

Thefabulouspolska > it’s funny

Iceicebby > rarepepe.png

Notavamp > savage

Hungaryandhungry > DAMN RIGHT

Vikingking > really guys

Iceicebby > Y’all got a suffering kink I can’t

Vikingking > the price of aging  
Hungaryandhungry > Did Norway just make a sex joke

Vikingking > not intentionally or at all

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I did not know there was that side to you.

Thespaqueen > SURPRISING YOU’VE SEEN EVERY SIDE OF EVERYONE ARTHUR

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > whAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Thespaqueen > Honestly?? Everything

Notavamp > that’s just sad

Notavamp > true, but sad

Thespaqueen > Quick someone kinkshame Romania I can’t come up with anything

Mybrothersavampire > Trust me he has more kinks than anyone here no matter what he tells you

Thespaqueen > Does he have a neck biting fetish??

Notavamp > yeah, why?

Thespaqueen > I would kick Moldova from the chat but he has proven that he’s grown up enough

Thespaqueen > HOW COULD HE BE ANY MORE OF A VAMPIRE 

Notavamp > have you seen my house? right out of the movie.

Thespaqueen > The one where Dracula fucks Lucy or??

Notavamp > …

Notavamp > course not, that’s my summer home

Thespaqueen > Everyone lend me your energy for a fucking spirit bomb sized kinkshame

Hungaryandhungry > Had no idea you were a weeb

love&rosesaesthetic > i’m in. take the energy. go do your thing.

Thespaqueen > cue spirit bomb killing Romania

Notavamp > That’s not how you kill a vampire silly~

Thespaqueen > Why would I kill you now we still need to shame you some more.

Mybrothersavampire > Hungary can confirm he has a thing for hate sex

 

Hungaryandhungry has left the conversation

 

Vikingking > confirmed. 

Notavamp > that went wayyy too far.

 

Notavamp >> removed mybrothersavampire from the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > I bet he has a fucking tooth fetish

3catholic5u > somebody kick her

Notavamp > no it’s amusing

 

Thespaqueen >> added mybrothersavampire to the conversation

 

Mybrothersavampire > …

Mybrothersavampire > He does

Notavamp > so much for brotherly secrecy… 

Mybrothersavampire > It’s not secrecy if it’s so loud it keeps me up the days I need to go to school

Notavamp > …

Notavamp > I didn’t raise you this way. ENGLAND!! I’m blaming you.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Does everyone here hate me?

love&rosesaesthetic > wow, that sounds familiar

Thefabulouspolska > Pls control ur kid brother

Notavamp > trying!

Thespaqueen > pfff doesn't look like it to be honest

Notavamp > thanks, appreciate it 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You know we’re only joking.

Thespaqueen > YOU’RE only joking

3catholic5u > did we just pass the fact that he finALLY ADMITTED IT

3catholic5u > FREAKING VAMPIRE OVER HERE

3catholic5u > DID YOU JUST FORGET THAT

love&rosesaesthetic > we’ve accepted we’re talking to Satan

Thespaqueen > U all need jesus

3catholic5u > YES YOU DO

3catholic5u > AND ITS Jesus!!

love&rosesaesthetic > yeah, you do need Jesus

love&rosesaesthetic > *jesus

 

3catholic5u has left the conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK I think this group needs to descend into hell


	5. In which the whole group is Hamiltrash

3catholic5u >> added love&rosesaesthetic, eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, thespaqueen, hungaryandhungry, iceicebby, mybrothersavampire, notavamp, thefabulouspolska, and vikingking 

3catholic5u > We need to talk.

Vikingking > about…?

3catholic5u > Basic respect for beliefs.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I knew this would happen…

Hungaryandhungry > Oh goodness spare me I’ve only been here for ??? a few days maybe???

3catholic5u > Guilty by association. 

love&rosesaesthetic > great…

Thespaqueen > SPARE HUNGARY OMF SHE IS STILL [fairly] PURE

Thespaqueen > OH AND MOLDOVA

3catholic5u > You all found it funny.

3catholic5u > Oh, and Czech?

3catholic5u > Shut up for once.

Thespaqueen > You are a literal salt mine abt religion like did someone die??

3catholic5u > Jesus. Jesus died. And he died for you. For all the sins you obviously commit.

Hungaryandhungry > So I’m hanging out at her house and a minute ago she dabbed if you want an example

3catholic5u > That works.

Notavamp > she did what??

Thespaqueen > Quiet down

Thefabulouspolska > Why is Hungary in our house I didn’t okay this?? Get out of my house Liz stop harassing my sister

Hungaryandhungry > I’m literally ur best friend I have a copy of ur keys that u gave me. Shut up.

3catholic5u > Not the point of this. Also... Feliks, Seriously?

Thefabulouspolska > Go big or go home my man

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > How does that…?

Vikingking > I doubt you want to know

Notavamp > k then…

3catholic5u > Can I PLEASE get back to what I was saying??

love&rosesaesthetic > course not

Thespaqueen > You’re right, give this Christian some space it’s too much homo at once for the poor guy

3catholic5u > ...It’s allowed in my country, you know. It’s been around longer than in Alfred’s, I’m sure.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’ll make sure to tell him that.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Are you going to continue your Christian ranting, or…?

3catholic5u > Oh, yeah.

3catholic5u > Almost forgot.

Vikingking > you just HAD to remind him, didn’t you

Notavamp > sometimes I really question where your loyalty lies  
Thespaqueen > Don’t trust England we all reMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT WE WERE TO HIM MANY YEARS AGO

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Czech, maybe I’ll take you over again like all those years ago.

Thespaqueen > Kinkshaming

Thespaqueen > He literally just threatened to assault me like??

Thespaqueen > I’m alerting the authorities??

Thespaqueen > Keep this man out of my house

Vikingking > lets see what we’ve gotten done in these conversations. Vlad is a vampire. Arthur is a past rapist. Czech is the better drinker. You guys are scary when drunk. Czech likes Hungary?? Seamus needs to chill about religion. Ice only talks in the form of memes. What else… oh, right. We screw up writing ‘Jesus’ most of the time. 

Iceicebby > “Doritos are red, Illuminati has triangles. The government has fallen and is run by reptiles.” - Jacksfilms

Vikingking > to further prove my point,

Thespaqueen > CZECH LIKES HUNGARY. YES. SHE DOES. I DOES LIKE HUNGARY.

Hungaryandhungary > …

Notavamp > I’m not really a vampire!

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > It’s not that bad when I drink… jesus.

3catholic5u > IT’S Jesus FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

Iceicebby > Succ

Vikingking > was I wrong?

Thespaqueen > I like how Arthur was being so defensive that he didn’t notice I used “does” wrong.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You did... I actually didn’t notice. Czech, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but for once in your life you were right.

Thespaqueen > You know what else I was right about?? How you are actually the world’s biGGEST HO LIKE

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I thought that was Francis.

love&rosesaesthetic > that was uncalled for. Casse toi.

Thefabulouspolska > England you’re also the world’s most abusive ho

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You know better than to swear in other languages.

Thespaqueen > jdi do hajzlu

Vikingking > knulle deg

3catholic5u > ag fuck tú

Hungaryandhungry > cseszd meg

Thefabulouspolska > pieprzyć

Iceicebby > ríða þér

Mybrothersavampire > du-te dracului

Notavamp > du-te dracului

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Thanks. You know, I’m glad I could understand that.

Thespaqueen > BUT AT WHAT COST HMM??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Fututus et mori in igni. Oh, and a few more things.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Quando podeces te regi eorum fecerunt?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oh, and Francis? Fils de pute.

Vikingking > you done? You’ve proved your point. We get it.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Fine, I’m done.

love&rosesaesthetic > why latin though??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > they were very good at insulting

Thespaqueen > “Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.” Please not another century of this bullshit

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Bad choice of words?

Thespaqueen > I’m sending this entire chat to whatever fucking authorities I find suitable

Hungaryandhungry > Calm down??

Notavamp > I need to show Alfred this sometime.

Vikingking > don’t add him!

3catholic5u > you wouldn’t

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > please dont add him

Thespaqueen > He’s so desperate he’s not using proper grammar pls don’t add him

Notavamp > fine… he’s still seeing this though

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > There are some things he should not know…

Thespaqueen > He’s gonna feel so left out remember when we told him about Eurovision?? Like that amount of left out

3catholic5u > I was thinking another revolution or something. Pretty sure he likes those.

Thespaqueen > REVOLUTIONARY SKYPE CHAT

Thefabulouspolska > Fight fight fight

Mybrothersavampire > Fight fight fight

Iceicebby > Fight fight fight

Notavamp > Fight fight fight

Vikingking > Fight fight-- wait, I’m the only mature one here. Nvm

Hungaryandhungry > FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

3catholic5u > TO THE DEATH!!

Thespaqueen > Okay of course Ireland had to take it that far

Thespaqueen > But like

Iceicebby > TO THE REVOLUTION (and the hope that you proviiiiide)

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Not this damn thing again…

Iceicebby > May you always… Be satisfied.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I swear I will send a fully armed battalion

Iceicebby > TO REMIND U OF MY LOVE 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Da da da da da da da da da dai ya da da dai ya da...

Thespaqueen > This just in England and Iceland are both Hamiltrash

Hungaryandhungry > WE ARE OUTGUNNED (what) OUTMANNED (what)

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > OUT NUMBERED OUT PLANNED

Hungaryandhungry > WE’VE GOTTA MAKE AN ALL OUT STAND

Thefabulouspolska > HEY YO I’M GONNA NEED A RIGHTHAND MAN

Notavamp > can I be real a second

Vikingking > for just a millisecond 

Mybrothersavampire > LET DOWN MY GUARD TO TELL THE PEOPLE HOW I FEEL A SECOND

Mybrothersavampire > YO I’M THE MODEL OF A MODERN MAJOR GENERAL

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > They say George Washington’s leaving his power and… stepping away. ‘Zat true?

Thespaqueen > I WASN’T AWARE THAT WAS SOMETHING A PERSON COULD DO

Thespaqueen > I mean

Thespaqueen > Um

Thespaqueen > Work

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m perplexed

 

Thespaqueen has left the conversation

 

Hungaryandhungry > RIP Czech she just died laughing on the fucking sofa someone help

Notavamp > RIP Philip 

 

Thespaqueen has joined the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > OOH PHILLIP YOU OUTSHINE THE MORNING SUN

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > HEED NOT THE RABBLE WHO SCREAM REVOLUTION THEY HAVE NOT YOUR INTERESTS AT HEART

3catholic5u > why didn’t you tell alfred that when you had the chance

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > please tell me you’re drunk

Thespaqueen > Convert him

3catholic5u > Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?

Mybrothersavampire > Stop

Thespaqueen > MAN THE MAN IS NON-STOP

Hungaryandhungry > Gentleman of the jury I’m curious bare with me are you aware that we’re making history??

3catholic5u > we’re countries. We ARE history

Thespaqueen > You’re gonna be history if you don’t join us

love&rosesaesthetic > SILENCE! A MESSAGE FROM THE KING

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Question… What’s your name, man?

Notavamp > ALEXANDER HAMILTON

Vikingking > MY NAME IS ALEXANDER HAMILTON

Mybrothersavampire > Are all of the couples finishing eachother’s sentences

Hungaryandhungry > We finish eachother’s ____

Thespaqueen > Elaborate plots for mass murders inside of building complexes

Thespaqueen > And sandwitches

Hungaryandhungry > I CAN’T FUCKING-

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > She nailed that. Czech, why do you write like ______ ?

love&rosesaesthetic > HISTORY HAS ITS EYES ON YOU

love&rosesaesthetic > nailed it

Thespaqueen > The actual line is “You’re running out of time”, so no Francis. You didn’t nail it

love&rosesaesthetic > merde.

love&rosesaesthetic > don’t shame me plz

love&rosesaesthetic > stop shaming me

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > It’s too late.

Thespaqueen > We’re shaming you instead England

Thespaqueen > As per usual

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Here’s an itemized list of thirty years of disagreements

3catholic5u > Sweet Jesus

Thefabulouspolska > *sweet jesus :)

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Seamus…?

 

3catholic5u has left the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...I think he just kicked his wall. And bed. And he punched his lamp. 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oh god, he just stepped on the glass. He’s swearing in Gaelic like you wouldn’t believe. I think he’s crying.

Thespaqueen > Hamilton, sit down.

Vikingking > Sit down John, you--

Notavamp > we’re not finishing that

Vikingking > too far?

Notavamp > yep

Thefabulouspolska > FAT MOTHERFUCKER

Mybrothersavampire > There goes my childhood innocence

Thespaqueen > 1\. You lost it around the time England had his “rebellious” phase. 2. You listened to Hamilton and “Say No To This” so… 3. This is great. He’s out of power, he holds no office 4. You described all of your brother’s vampire kinks and successfully kinkshamed him

Hungaryandhungry > We didn’t ask you to write a fucking essay

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Punk phase…

Thespaqueen > Double-spaced, Times New Roman, font size 12, complete citation and no handwriting it either!!1!

Iceicebby > Chill pls

Thefabulouspolska > Says the country literally named after ice

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Please, relax.

Notavamp > We’re not writing an essay on this. It would be too long.

Thespaqueen > DAMN back at it again with lowkey kinkshaming one of your best friends Vlad

Vikingking > we could write a few on Iggy

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> removed vikingking from the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > It can only go so far…

Notavamp > You have a problem with that Iggy?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > First Alfred, and now you?

love&rosesaesthetic > What, are you getting nervous? It’s just a name.

Iceicebby > SIR I HEARD YOUR NAME AT PRINCETON I WAS SEEKING AN ACCELERATED COURSE OF STUDY WHEN I GOT SORT OF OUT OF SORTS WITH A BUDDY OF YOURS. I MIGHT HAVE PUNCHED HIM. IT’S A BLUR, SIR. HE HANDLES THE FINANCIALS?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Not the time.

Iceicebby > YES I WANTED TO-- oh.

 

Mybrothersavampire >> removed iceicebby from the conversation

 

Mybrothersavampire > Pls no more Hamilton

Hungaryandhungry > HAMILTON

Thespaqueen > SIR HE KNOWS WHAT TO DO IN THE TRENCH ENGINUITIVE AND FLUENT IN FRENCH I MEAN

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > HAMILTON

Thespaqueen > SIR YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO USE HIM EVENTUALLY WHAT’S HE GONNA DO ON THE BENCH I MEAN

love&rosesaesthetic > LAFAYETTE 

Notavamp > Francis… no…

love&rosesaesthetic > I’m takin this horse by the reins makin’ Redcoats redder with bloodstains

Notavamp > Francis no

love&rosesaesthetic > And I’m never gonna stop until I make ‘em drop and burn ‘em up and scatter their remains, I’m

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Lafayette…

love&rosesaesthetic > Watch me engagin’ em! Escapin’ em! Enragin’ em! I’m—

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Francis, just stop.

 

Thespaqueen >> has removed love&rosesaesthetic from the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > Natural selection

Thespaqueen > On a separate note, what did Ireland want to say about religion again??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Don’t even bother. I’m fairly sure he just cried himself to sleep about that.

Notavamp > sometimes I forget just how christian that country is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I said they would descend into hell but never fandom hell?? IDK I just went with it and I don't think this ever needs to happen again. Seamus really really needs to clean his room and get new shit now so


	6. In which even more people got kinkshamed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No but like you can really skip this if you feel uncomfortable with the amount of nsfw suggestive shit going on here. Friends with benifits, kinkshaming on a gross level, it's funny but... viewer descretion is advised.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> added notavamp to the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic ROMANIA I SWEAR TO GOD WHY THE HELL DID YOU SHOW HIM?!

Notavamp > show who what?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > WHY DID YOU SHOW ALFRED THAT CONVERSATION?!

 

Notavamp >> added hungaryandhungary, vikingking, love&rosesaesthetic, 3catholic5u, thespaqueen, thefabulouspolska, mybrothersavampire and iceicebby to the conversation

 

Vikingking > you showed Alfred?!

Notavamp > yeah…?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > He wasn’t supposed to know about that!

Thespaqueen > No wonder he was giving me dirty looks today

Thespaqueen > He was actually gonna burn a hole through his laptop with such a fucking angry look like wtf??

3catholic5u > was he mad at all of us or just you? Just you, right?

Hungaryandhungry > He’s pissed at everyone in the chat

Vikingking > yeah we’re still not adding him

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Definitely not

Notavamp > I’m adding him

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> removed notavamp from the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > No, you’re not.

 

Thespaqueen >> Added Notavamp to the conversation

Notavamp > fine…

Vikingking > can we trust you on this?

Notavamp > course not

Vikingking > fair enough

Thespaqueen > I’ll tell you guys who we didn’t kinkshame yet :))

Vikingking > who?

Thespaqueen > Hungary, Iceland, Moldova, Poland, and good ol’ you :))

Vikingking > fuck

Hungaryandhungary > Fight me

Thespaqueen > Who wants to go first??

Notavamp > Nor? 

Notavamp > Yeah, Nor.

Thespaqueen > Has anyone in this chat ever been in a relationship with Nor or something bc I have little to nothing to work with

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > He has friends with benefits.

Thespaqueen > Do tell :))

Notavamp > …

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > What, would you like to tell her? You would know, Vladimir, wouldn’t you?

Notavamp > not now…

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I can’t be the only one she shames. You two can share the pain.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You do share enough already.

Thespaqueen > Holy fuck killing two birds with one stone I see

Vikingking > why now…

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You know, Czech, I see why you enjoy this.

Vikingking > thanks.

Notavamp > traitor

3catholic5u > I look away for A MINUTE and come back to this

3catholic5u > A LITERAL MINUTE

Thespaqueen > Join us Seamus

3catholic5u > uh…

3catholic5u > yeah sure.

Vikingking > isn’t this against your religion or something??

3catholic5u > not that I know of

Thespaqueen > Even good ol’ Jesus loved some nice friendly kinkshaming

3catholic5u > I think that actually might have happened

Hungaryandhungry > One day Jesus was just like “hey follower ur a ho”

3catholic5u > sort of…

3catholic5u > what do you think of “whatever you must do, do it quickly”?

Thefabulouspolska > Take that out of context and hang it up with a picture of blushing jesus

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Please tell me that doesn’t exist.

Iceicebby > http://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/aAYnr0d_700b.jpg - blushing Jesus

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Emil why

Thespaqueen > Can we please kinkshame Lukas and Vlad tho??

Iceicebby > Me and Moldova have you covered tbh

Mybrothersavampire > *clears throat* ok so. Lukas needs to quIET HIMSELF DOWN BC I NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP LIKE PLEASE SHUT UP

Iceicebby > the family dog thinks that the fucking sex toys they use are chew toys I jfc

Vikingking > …

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Don’t even deny it.

Notavamp > …we trusted you Arthur

Thespaqueen > Have any vids of this we can watch I honestly don’t believe you

Iceicebby > I can show you if you promise I’m not next on your fucking kinkshame list

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Ice, why would you have that?

Vikingking > how would you even get that?

Notavamp > you weren’t… were you?

3catholic5u > not in my church

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Not now Ireland..

Iceicebby > I have a video of Hanatamago chewing one whatever fucking thing he found in ur room I jfc what the hell

Notavamp > and why were you in my room?

Iceicebby > oh nvm he found this in my room what were you doing in my room??

Vikingking > we’ve never been in your room… got something you’d like to tell me?

Iceicebby > U literally once told me to stay out of the room and I slept on the sofa that night so???

Vikingking > was I drunk that night?

Iceicebby > Yeah

Thespaqueen > Okay too far who’s next

Vikingking > I asked you to get out because I cast a spell that would have killed you. Not for long, but killed you.

Iceicebby > Mmm oh my god stop fucking lying you heard me shout at you through the door five times to quiet down

Thespaqueen > TOO FAR

Vikingking > I have seen things, Ice. Things you shouldn’t need to see that I summoned in your room.

Iceicebby > Like Vlad’s dick

 

Thespaqueen >> removed iceicebby and vikingking from the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > Okay, who’s next?

Mybrothersavampire > my own brother

Notavamp > first off, that’s not how you use it. Second, I can do what I want. Chill.

 

Thespaqueen >> removed notavamp from the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > We’ve clearly already finished with England for now, who’s volunteering next??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Did anyone else realize he said chill, or was that just me?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Czech I’m done. Don’t kick me please.

Thespaqueen > Ireland is next then

3catholic5u > You’ve got nothing on me!

Thespaqueen > Pfft here comes new age Jesus to cleanse this unholy chatroom

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Its too late for that.

3catholic5u > Great googly moogly it’s all gone to shit!

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You’ve been hanging out with Ice more, don’t you?

3catholic5u > yep

Thespaqueen > England your homework is to get dirt on Seamus but before then can we try to kinkshame Ice?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Didn’t you kick him though? He needs to be here for this to work.

Thespaqueen > Ehem

 

Thespaqueen >> added iceicebby to the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > Okay now but we need to add Nor for this to work

 

Thespaqueen >> added vikingking and notavamp to the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > For the love of God please don’t fight

Vikingking > as long as you don’t start anything

Thespaqueen > Okay so

Vikingking > so?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Nobody needs to know…

3catholic5u > Artie no

Vikingking > what do you want me to do now

Thespaqueen > read the chat

Vikingking > I’m not doing that

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Come on, it’ll be fun.

Notavamp > says the guy who ratted us out

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Heat of the moment.

Vikingking > sure…

Thespaqueen > you in or nah

Notavamp > yeah sure

Vikingking > might as well get back at him

Vikingking > i’m in

Iceicebby > my own brother

Vikingking > ok, that’s getting old already

Thefabulouspolska > you even have anything on him?

Vikingking > I have his browser history

Iceicebby > …

Iceicebby > why were you even on my phone??

Vikingking > I’ll keep doing it until you call me what I told you to

Iceicebby > not calling you big brother

Vikingking > first on the list…

Vikingking > why is tumblr here so much

Iceicebby > I-

Thespaqueen > TBH I wouldn’t be surprised if you just found him sexting Leon

Vikingking > I was getting to that

Hungaryandhungry > Is there Boku No Pico?? What is so horrible on his browser history

3catholic5u > wait, tumblr? What’s on his blog??

Thespaqueen > BET

Thespaqueen > There is probably a lot of memes, a lot of reblogs from HK’s account, a lot of sjw stuff and fandom garbage

Vikingking > there’s ice puns too

Vikingking > ice you hate those wtf

Thespaqueen > Ice to meet u

Hungaryandhungry > Pls chill w the puns

Thespaqueen > That’s cold

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Great ice-breaker for this, anything else?

Iceicebby > uuggggg I’m exposed

Vikingking > not in the slightest

Vikingking > next on the list… wtf ice

Notavamp > what??

Vikingking > frogs. Just frogs.

Iceicebby > *pepes and dem bois

Vikingking > a satanic skeleton with a blue eye…?

Iceicebby > SANS. IT’S SANS. 

Vikingking > it’s funny that you looked up charizard, him being a fire-type and all

Hungaryandhungry > DUNUNUNUNUNU

Thespaqueen > I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST THAT NO ONE EVER WASSSS

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > really guys… dundundundun

love&rosesaesthetic > TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL TEST, TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > How do you…? Nevermind.

Vikingking > I WILL TRAVEL ACROSS THE LAND

Notavamp > SEARCHING FAR AND WIDE

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Of course they finish each other’s sentences.

Thespaqueen > SOMEONE ADD LEON TO THE CHAT LET’S KINKSHAME BOTH OF THEM

Thespaqueen > ICE SEND YOUR FUCKING TEXTS THROUGH THE CHAT

Vikingking > why do you have no chill. That’s cold.

Iceicebby > STOP WITH THE ICE PUNS

Thespaqueen > Please chill we’re just joking around

Vikingking > hey, you’re the one who likes undertale. That’s game of puns if you haven’t noticed

 

Thespaqueen >> added Weebpyromania to the conversation

 

Notavamp > pyromania…? Explain

Weebpyromania > I was warned this would happen eventually

Weebpyromania > Pyromania is an obsession w fire or fire-related things

Vikingking > now it makes sense

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Wait, are you the one that burned part of my house down?

Weebpyromania > I was expecting you to recognize me u did fucking raise me for half my life

Thespaqueen > :) :) He what

Thespaqueen > I am so sorry 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Not this damned thing again…

Thespaqueen > teddybear.jpg

Thespaqueen > Show me on this teddy bear where he fuckING

Notavamp > at least she’s back to kinkshaming Artie

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Traitor.

Vikingking > wow, wonder where I’ve heard that one before

love&rosesaesthetic > yeah, everyone hates you

Hungaryandhungry > Ok well let’s explain to Leon why he’s even here

Thefabulouspolska > We got bored and we’re kinkshaming you and Emil 

Weebpyromania > what does Iggy have to do with that?

3catholic5u > read the chat

Weebpyromania > oh my god brows wtf

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Brows? Really?

Hungaryandhungry > Suffer 

Iceicebby > GEt thIS OVER WITH

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Czech, that’s your cue.

Thespaqueen > ehem

Thespaqueen > Send us your texts or we will have Lukas take ur phone for a week

Weebpyromania > he’s not even here

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > He can teleport there, though. He actually teleported to Czech to try to kill her, but he didn’t… pity.

Thespaqueen > U know fuck u too

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Rather not.

Thespaqueen > THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAID LIKE YESTERDAY

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Touché. 

Thefabulouspolska > ...Are we even gonna do what we were planning on doing

Thespaqueen > Oh yeah Emil send over ur chats ::))

Vikingking > trust me, if you don’t 

Vikingking > I have my ways

Vikingking > and I’ll use them right now if I need to

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I think I can actually hear you getting your things together for this You’re really not joking, are you?

Vikingking > not in the slightest

3catholic5u > we’re doomed

Notavamp > not unless Ice listens!

Iceicebby > Pff not sharing shit w u guys

Vikingking > wrong move

 

Vikingking has left the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > He’s walking down… he has his book.

Notavamp > if you get beheaded don’t blame me

Iceicebby > HE’S HOME SHIT SHIT I THOUGHT HE WAS AT VLAD’S

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well, he was at my house… Anyway, the teleportation wasn’t a joke.

Iceicebby > fk fk fk fk fk fk no save me Leon if ur still here burn my letters

Notavamp > wtf

Weebpyromania > On it do not share the texts

Thespaqueen > He’s just gonna send them from your phone

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Why do you two want to hide them so much? You aren’t sending each other anything… suspicious, are you? 

Hungaryandhungry > I really don’t want to know

Iceicebby > got it ~Lukas

Iceicebby > this is… disturbing ~Lukas

Notavamp > what’s on there??

Iceicebby > I didn’t even know ice had abs… ~Lukas

Notavamp > he does??

Iceicebby > apparently ~Lukas

Thespaqueen > Are they sending each other nudes what the fuck is this

Weebpyromania > SAVE ME I FEEL VIOLATED

Thefabulouspolska > omf this is what you guys get for sexting

love&rosesaesthetic > even I’m not ok with this…

Thespaqueen > England what are you teaching this child u ho

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > If you haven’t already noticed, I’m not good with kids.

Notavamp > we noticed

Thespaqueen > I was gonna make a comment on pedophelia but… nah

Hungaryandhungry > please don’t

Iceicebby > Emil, Leon… you two need serious help ~Lukas

Weebpyromania > Why are you even looking at fucking nudes I just don’t

Iceicebby > I haven’t even gotten to the texts yet chill ~Lukas

Thespaqueen > are they writing fucking erotic shit in texts im crying

Iceicebby > that and fandom ranting. Kind of like where Ireland was going but worse. Much worse. ~Lukas

Weebpyromania > fuck

Iceicebby > actually, you said that a lot in the chats with him ~Lukas

Weebpyromania > Never add me to one of ur garbage chats again

 

Weebpyromania has left the conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear it wasn't me it was the co-author with whom I share this account who added the shit abt toys and sexting save me


	7. In which Czech has an identity crisis

3catholic5u >> added love&rosesaesthetic, eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, vikingking, notavamp, mybrothersavampire, thespaqueen, thefabulouspolska, iceicebby, and hungaryandhungary to the conversation

 

3catholic5u > has anyone else noticed that czech doesn’t have a name

3catholic5u > its just czech

Thefabulouspolska > pfft guys r u telling me all this time u didn’t know her name

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Now that you mention it… What is your name?

Thespaqueen > My name is… Um… TBH I forgot it’s been a while

Notavamp > jeffry

Notavamp > pablo

Notavamp > mike

Iceicebby > Muh name is Jeff

Vikingking > Your name is Emil

Notavamp > her name must be helga

Notavamp > right?

Thespaqueen > WHAT THE HELL

Thespaqueen > THIS IS RIDICULOUS 

Notavamp > you’re surprised i’m right?

Thespaqueen > Wtf kind of a name is Helga

love&rosesaesthetic > well that’s offensive

Thespaqueen > IT’S NOT EVEN A CZECH NAME THO

Hungaryandhungry > Wait, there are Czech names??

Notavamp > Czech likes Hungary??

Thespaqueen > Go to hell

Notavamp > I’ve been there before, great vacation spot btw

Thefabulouspolska > HAVE I HEARD THAT BEFORE??

Vikingking > yeah, and it is warmer

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Not again.

Iceicebby > All of our texts are just repeats of last time aren’t they

Notavamp > wait, is your name Boomquifa?

Thespaqueen > Okay no but you’re being offensive rN STAHP

Thespaqueen > I think I have my name written down somewhere hold on

Vikingking > you need to write your name down…?

Mybrothersavampire > Pffffff

Notavamp > i swear if it’s actually helga i’m gonna flip

Thespaqueen > It’s not

Hungaryandhungry > There should be a rule where I’m not allowed to drink orange juice whenever I’m in this chat bc I don’t want to ruin another one of Czech’s dresses

Vikingking > the name?

Vikingking > you’ve kept us waiting long enough

Thespaqueen > I’m looking for it

Thefabulouspolska > I really forgot my sister’s name I’m such a good sibling

Vikingking > nailed it right

Hungaryandhungry > Damn right look at this

Notavamp > damn ice was right

Iceicebby > But no one ever listens to me

Thespaqueen > No one can take you seriously after yesterday’s conversation though

Vikingking > we never could

Iceicebby > my own brother

Vikingking > so, you finally remembered to call me big  
brother

Mybrothersavampire > SUFFER

3catholic5u > have you found the name you should remember?

Thespaqueen > NOT YET HOLD ON MAYBE I HAVE IT ON THE COMPUTER

love&rosesaesthetic > how do you even forget a name?? did someone hit you on the head or something??

Thespaqueen > Yeah Austria, Prussia, and Germany as well as England but that was further back. 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Bloody hell

Hungaryandhungry > When History has its eyes on u

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You can’t start that again.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You’ll need to wait for it to happen in its own.

Iceicebby > NOT THIS

Notavamp > what, don’t you… I can’t think of anything. damn it.

Thespaqueen > I FOUND OUT WHAT MY FIRST NAME IS

Thespaqueen > It’s “Adéla”

Thespaqueen > What’s the last one tho

Vikingking > you tell me, we don’t know

Thefabulouspolska > Is it mine or???

Thespaqueen > I’m pretty sure it’s Slovakia’s

Thefabulouspolska > But he forgot his

Thefabulouspolska > My goddamn family

Notavamp > please tell me you actually know yours

Hungaryandhungry > He needs me to remind him from time to time

Thefabulouspolska > Best friends are there for a reason

Thefabulouspolska > It’s Feliks Łukasiewicz

Iceicebby > How the fuck do you remember that

Notavamp > congratz

Mybrothersavampire > tbh I don’t even understand half of u

Notavamp > i don’t even remember my last name

Mybrothersavampire > But isn’t it Dracula?? Or did we get it changed?

Thespaqueen > illuminati confirmed

Notavamp > first off, I hate you both. Second, yes it was changed. What is it now tho??

Mybrothersavampire > Honestly I forgot what even is this

3catholic5u > if you know your full name just say it 

3catholic5u > Seamus O’Conner

Vikingking > Lukas Bondevik

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Arthur Kirkland

love&rosesaesthetic > Francis Bonnefoy

Iceicebby > Emil Steilsson

Hungaryandhungry > Elizabeta Héderváry

Thefabulouspolska > Feliks Łukasiewicz

Notavamp > Vladimir Lupei

notavamp > found it

Mybrothersavampire > Jonathan Lupei

Thespaqueen > Did you name your brother after your arch enemy??

Notavamp > that’s not his name…

Notavamp > also, still not Dracula last I checked

Mybrothersavampire > What do you mean my name isn’t Jonathan??? Are you okay???

Notavamp > you know it isn’t Jonathan!! Its Andrei!!

Mybrothersavampire > since when??

Notavamp > since forever!!!

Mybrothersavampire > Calm urself you’re wrong

Thespaqueen > I found my last name!! My full name is Adéla Novak what even is this

Notavamp > better than Andrei’s fake name

 

Mybrothersavampire >> removed notavamp from the conversation

 

Mybrothersavampire > No more lies ::)

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > So, when did you change it? When we first met you said it yourself-- your name was Andrei. 

Mybrothersavampire > Tbh I didn’t even know it myself I went along with what Dracula over there said

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> added notavamp to the conversation

 

Notavamp > HA

Notavamp > KNEW IT

Mybrothersavampire > That ur a dirty liar?? Yeah stop trying to hide that u r FUCKING DRACULA CMON

Notavamp > i’ve told you not to discuss those things in this way in front of people

Notavamp > nobody needs to know

Thefabulouspolska > Well then I’m just gonna uh

 

Thefabulouspolska >> removed notavamp and mybrothersavampire from the conversation

 

Thefabulouspolska > NO MORE LIES

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Sorry, have you met us? Lies are what we’re known for.

Thespaqueen > My goodness how false accusations these are we would do NOTHING of the sort

Thespaqueen > Dishonesty is so beneath all of us

eyebrow&scaesthetic > Thank you for proving my point, I think I’ve made my case.

Hungaryandhungry > tbh I’m crying here someone help me 

Thespaqueen > Liz is dying laughing on the couch save her and remove all juice from the vicinity

Thefabulouspolska > WHY IS SHE IN OUR HOUSE SHE WAS NOT INVITED

3catholic5u > so, you’ve already made a family then?

Thespaqueen > I’m in her house not the other way around

Thespaqueen > And even then Poland and Hungary are really close friends so

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Didn’t you say you have a key?

Hungaryandhungry > I do but only for emergencies or when I’m invited (which is pretty often)

3catholic5u > so did we get from ‘what the hell is her name’ to ‘why is Hungary in my house’??

Thespaqueen > That’s just how it goes here my frien

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > *Friend

Vikingking > really?

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > What? It was obvious and annoying; I saved you from the trouble of fixing it.

Hungaryandhungry > You need to not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My hc names for them and such :). Also I hate all of them and I'm addicted to adding on to this :). If you don't get the "Jonathan" thing Jonathan was the rival of Dracula in the original "Dracula" novel by Bram Stoker.


	8. In which the kinkshamer gets kinkshamed

Thefabulouspolska >> added thespaqueen, hungaryandhungry, iceicebby, vikingking, love&rosesaesthetic, eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, notavamp, and mybrothersavampire to the conversation

Notavamp > why have I been summoned

Thefabulouspolska > WE CAN FINALLY KINKSHAME CZECH

Notavamp > waIT WHAT??? SERIOUSLY???

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > AT LONG LAST I’M IN

Vikingking > oh yeah he’s in his grammar is off

Vikingking > but I’m in

3catholic5u > this is gonna be fun~

Thespaqueen > I’m leaving

Thefabulouspolska > Are not

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > we sat through this you can too

Thefabulouspolska > Technically we’ll be kinkshaming Hungary too

Hungaryandhungry > SAVE ME

Thefabulouspolska > Ok so I called Hungary’s house to see why Czech was there for so long and Hungary’s housemate picked up. She was literally only going to go as far as to say “they’re busy right now” but we all know what this means right

Thefabulouspolska > Laura literally admitted to us who both by sister and my best friend were fucking

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > wait, so you two were…

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well then

 

Thespaqueen >> removed hungaryandhungry from the conversation

 

Thespaqueen >> has left the conversation

 

3catholic5u > you know, it’s too late for me to even say dirty heathens anymore

 

Thefabulouspolska >> added thespaqueen and hungaryandhungry to the conversation

 

Thefabulouspolska > Suffer together

Vikingking > you seem to enjoy being together enough

Notavamp > you’re stuck here with us

love&rosesaesthetic > you know, you shouldn’t be talking

Hungaryandhungry > Don’t throw stones in a glass house :))

Thespaqueen > Why are you guys like this

Thefabulouspolska > sssssssuffer

Thespaqueen > YOU’RE NEXT

love&rosesaesthetic > really, you should relax. It isn’t that big of a deal

Thefabulouspolska > SHE’S ONLY EIGHTEEN DON’T TOUCH MY SISTER

Notavamp > poor choice of words

Thefabulouspolska > cmon aaalreadyyyy how about we fucking add Laura she’ll know all about what happened

Notavamp > also poor choice of words

Notavamp > and no

Thefabulouspolska > ur mom is a bad choice of words

Iceicebby > *poor

Thefabulouspolska > GO TO HELL

Thespaqueen > At least France is defending me here he’ll go last

love&rosesaesthetic > excuse me

love&rosesaesthetic > what do you mean exactly?

Thespaqueen > That was also bad wording tbh

Thespaqueen > You’ll be shamed last in the group and Arthur will have the honor of doing it

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > *honour

Thespaqueen > GO TO HELLLLL

 

Thefabulouspolska >> added wafflesRbetter

 

love&rosesaesthetic > if Mattie was here…

Hungaryandhungry > If you are my friend Laura

Hungaryandhungry > Please don’t add on to this conversation

Mybrothersavampire > SHAME HER

love&rosesaesthetic > stay out of it. For your own good. Trust me on this

Wafflesrbetter > Francis when have I listened to you u r the most annoying brother

love&rosesaesthetic > when has that ever been true??

Wafflesrbetter > Ok so I just read the chat and 1. Wtf Arthur 2. Wtf Czech 3. Wtf everyone 4. Czech likes Hungary?? 5. Friends w benefits?? Really?? 6. Ice has some explaining to do 7. Yeah Francis you literally baby proofed the house till I moved out and I feel bad for Seychelles bc she still lives with you

love&rosesaesthetic > oh please it was for your own good

love&rosesaesthetic > trust no one with knives when you live with a cook

Wafflesrbetter > Honestly?? U need to stop. It’s time to stop.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > He’s only gotten worse. He won’t even let me in the kitchen.

love&rosesaesthetic > you’ll start a fire making ice-cream! And it’ll give you food poisoning too!

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > That’s a lie.

love&rosesaesthetic > you blew up the stove.

love&rosesaesthetic > making cereal. 

love&rosesaesthetic > not a lie.

3catholic5u > I knew he was bad, but…

Notavamp > are we just shaming Artie’s food now?

Vikingking > that’ll take a year

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...Thanks guys, really appreciate it. 

Wafflesrbetter > So why did u guys add me again?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > To be honest I’m not sure myself at this point.

Thespaqueen > So we’re not gonna do the stupid thing?? YAY

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oh right, that. Feliks, you have anything else to say?

Thefabulouspolska > No but Belgium does we kinda added her to elaborate on whatever Czech and Hungary were doing last night ;)

Hungaryandhungry > I’m just gonna go now

Notavamp > please stay

 

Hungaryandhungry >> left the conversation

 

Vikingking >> added hungaryandhungary to the conversation

 

Vikingking > you can’t escape this

Hungaryandhungry > A PUNISHMENT WORSE THAN DEATH ITSELF STARES AT ME MENACINGLY. EFFORT IS NOT THE WORD USED TO DESCRIBE RESISTANCE TO SUCH A TORTURE. PUBLIC SHAMING. SAVE ME.

Vikingking > exactly what i’m getting at here

3catholic5u > we’re dragging you into hell

3catholic5u > but we’re not writing any novels about it

Thespaqueen > thank goodness.

Thespaqueen > ~The Reynolds Pamphlet. Have you read this shit?~

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Not now, we’re doing this no matter what. Laura, what exactly was going on between those two?

Wafflesrbetter > They were hanging out in her room and I was watching tv with them for a while and they shooed me out and like

Wafflesrbetter > I’ve seen enough reality TV to see where that was going

Thespaqueen > Some interesting shows you’re watching there

Wafflesrbetter > At least I’m not living it. Anyways, so shit went down over there and the TV was still on and I think they were fucking to the Steven Universe intro song XD

Notavamp > we are the crystal gems

Vikingking > we’ll always save the day

Wafflesrbetter > *always save the gay

Wafflesrbetter > in their case

3catholic5u > and if you think they can’t

love&rosesaesthetic > they’ll always find a way!

Wafflesrbetter > Honestly we ruined this song for everyone

Wafflesrbetter > But to continue…

Wafflesrbetter > THAT’S WHY THE PEOPLE OF THIS WORLD BELIEVE IN

Thespaqueen > Czech

Hungaryandhungry > Hungary

Thefabulouspolska > ~The third wheel friend~

3catholic5u > and catholics 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...wtf

love&rosesaesthetic > that grammar though 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m the only one that hasn’t seen that apparently. 

Notavamp > czech, hungary, since you apparently love that show enough to… well… 

Notavamp > yeah we need to teach Iggy about the show

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Iggy? Really?

Notavamp > you’ve been shamed. You’ve never seen Steven Universe.

Thespaqueen > He’s also been shamed in every other chat for other reasons

Thespaqueen > BUT LET’S GET TO A DIFFERENT ISSUE

Thespaqueen > I DON’T LIKE THIS TOPIC

love&rosesaesthetic > fucking to steven universe? Yeah, neither do I.

Hungaryandhungry > Honestly it just happened to be playing

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > So, you admit it then.

Iceicebby > Ok guys I went to look up some pepe memes I come back to THIS

Iceicebby > Part of me admires you guys

Iceicebby > Part of me fears you guys

Iceicebby > IDK this is just… I really don’t even know tbh

3catholic5u > great googly moogly

Iceicebby > its all gone to shit

Notavamp > true love right there

3catholic5u > ...wtf vlad

Iceicebby > rejection.png

Thespaqueen > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYOM00Xx29c is this how you truly think about our lovely Union family England

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Absolutely. I even organised that. 

Mybrothersavampire > Honestly I’m not in it for a reason y’all are freaks

Vikingking > Yeah me and ice aren’t in it either so at least England doesn’t hate us

Thespaqueen > Lies my goodness that was arranged by an American comedian (who yes was born in Britain so…)

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Who do you think gave him the idea?

Thespaqueen > You know John Oliver why would you spend your time with THAT??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You know you would make something like that. Don’t even deny it.

Thefabulouspolska > But how am I depressing?

Notavamp > There are NOT vampires in Romania

Mybrothersavampire > You’re right bc the nation itself is a vampire

Notavamp > I’m noT A VAMPIRE

Mybrothersavampire > Shut up Vlad you are I live with yoU I KNOW MY BROTHER

Thefabulouspolska > No no but England what about Slovenia is lovely he’s the most weird brother ever

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ((we’re only kidding, it sucks too))

Thefabulouspolska > pfft you’re lucky he doesn’t use social media

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I can link you to my tumblr page if you’d like.

Thespaqueen > Why would we want your tumblr?? Honestly I’m still mad you’re considering leaving our lovely family you better vote stay today tbh

Hungaryandhungry > What she means is: SHE’S GONNA MISS YOU CZECH HAS EMOTIONS SPREAD THE WORD

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > She does?

Vikingking > Czech likes Hungary??

Notavamp > shocking

Thespaqueen > WE’VE ALREADY FUCKING ESTABLISHED THIS

love&rosesaesthetic > really bad choice of words since you did it to steven universe and all

Thespaqueen > YOU KNOW WHAT SHUT UP

Thefabulouspolska > Why are all short people so angry?!

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Sorry, I wouldn’t know. Feliks, you’re one to talk, aren’t you?

Thefabulouspolska > SHuT iT oKAY czECH IS THE SHORTEST ONE HERE

Thespaqueen > Get out

Hungaryandhungry > tbh Czech is cuddle size so like

Vikingking > so… czech does like hungary

Thespaqueen > Nooooooooooo of course fucking not

Vikingking > oh so you just fucked for the fun of it then

Thespaqueen > Shut up friend-with-benefits you can’t talk

Thespaqueen > Czech does like Hungary that was sarcasm

Vikingking > so you’ve finally admitted it then

Hungaryandhungry > I’m flattered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha I'm so sorry. Also, I did bring up the Brexit and John Oliver. And I ruined Steven Universe. oh joy. England is slowly learning text-grammar good for him tho


	9. In Which The European Gays™ Shun Alfred

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter was originally supposed to go up the day that people in the UK were voting on the Brexit, but I really fucked up in writing this.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> added thespaqueen, love&rosesaesthetic, vikingking, iceicebby, notavamp, mybrothersavampire, 

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You guys have been leaving me out for too long.

Thespaqueen > ???What do you mean???

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > its Alfred.

Notavamp > shit

3catholic5u > how did you even get his phone?? He doesn’t even let me on it!

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > he was drunk

Vikingking > fair enough

Thespaqueen > Alfred this is an EU thing you wouldn’t understand

Thespaqueen > Okay that was a lie three of us here aren’t even in the EU. 

Thespaqueen > It’s kinda like Eurovision but not bc there’s shitposting involved too

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > look, have you ever seen my media and all? I know shit posting.

Thespaqueen > I know but like this is a euroPEAN THING YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I mean, I was raised by a european if you forgot

Hungaryandhungry > pfft let him stay for today by the end he’ll see why he doesn’t want to be here

3catholic5u > fair enough

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I read the chat this is actually amazing. But czech likes hungary though?? I had no clue!

Thespaqueen > IT’S A EUROPEAN THING YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND

Thespaqueen > Like deep down I think everyone kinda likes Hungary

Notavamp > nope

Thespaqueen > Ok fair point all of you are gay as shit

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > same tho

Thespaqueen > But still

Hungaryandhungry > I’m flattered

Thespaqueen > He’s not a European Gay™ 

Vikingking > so many shades of grey

love&rosesaesthetic > depending on the time of day the french go either way~

Thespaqueen > That’s a lie you’re gay as shit too

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > yeah you are

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I swear he never ever swing the other way

Iceicebby > IS HE GAY OR EUROPEAN GAY OR EUROPEAN GAY OR EURO--

Thespaqueen > Just gay he is still not a European Gay™ 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > gay or just plain sassy…

Thefabulouspolska > Um… Yes.

Notavamp > why is europe being so sassy lately?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > fuck you european union

Thespaqueen > Again not all of the people in this chat are in the union. There’s Norway, Moldova, and Iceland who just kinda want nothing to do with us shitheads

Notavamp > got the shitheads part right!

Vikingking > yeah, but really. wtf guys.

Iceicebby > Makes sense that we’re shitheads our minds are all in the gutter

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > behold. A european accepting himself for what he truly is.

Thespaqueen > *Behold

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > since when are you Iggy?

Thespaqueen > I really just want to one-up him in everything so

love&rosesaesthetic > he does that to us enough. Even to Mattie.

Notavamp > who?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > fuck you

love&rosesaesthetic > i’m with him on that

Thespaqueen > Wait isn’t Matthew that one G8 member everyone thinks is actually just China

love&rosesaesthetic > Je jure salope arrogante tchèque prendre cette satanée chose de retour!

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Francis! Since when do you talk like that??

Notavamp > wait… what did he say exactly?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > he said: I swear Czech you arrogant bitch take that damn thing back!

Thespaqueen > ouch I only speak the truth here

love&rosesaesthetic > since when?

Thespaqueen > YOU KNOW WHAT FIGHT ME 

love&rosesaesthetic > ...through the phone? I’m not one of the 3 that can teleport here.

Thespaqueen > DUEL ME AT THE NEAREST FUCKING STARBUCKS

Hungaryandhungry > Okay please don’t duel tho

love&rosesaesthetic > yeah in what country

Thespaqueen > WAIT HOLD ON LET ME GET OUT A MAP

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I mean, I know where the smallest one in the world is…

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > alright, the brit is ranting about The Beatles or something

Thespaqueen > OKAY DUEL ME IN A STARBUCKS LITERALLY ANYWHERE THERE ARE TOO MANY

Thespaqueen > You know what just come to my house and I’ll shoot you there

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > please say I can watch

Thespaqueen > IT’S A EUROPEAN THING YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND ALFRED

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > um exCUSE ME HAMILTON COVERS ENOUGH DUELS IN MY HISTORY. 

Thespaqueen > The duel in Hamilton was a poor representation of a duel because in actuality, the duel was usually more of a tradition thing. You don’t usually shoot anyone Burr was just an angry fuck so like

Thespaqueen > It pains me that I have to teach you your own fucking history

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well, you “Europeans” like the American musical strangely enough

Thespaqueen > honestly it’s media and we all found out about it through Emil’s fucking tumblr

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you guys memorized it though!!

Thespaqueen > I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory- mmm whacha say

Thespaqueen > That’s 100% the way it goes right

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > excuse me read the chat again that’s not what I saw

Iceicebby > stop stealing my memes

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > never

Thespaqueen > Alfred go home and stop 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > that’s not an order from my commander

Thespaqueen > GO HOME ALEXANDER

Thespaqueen > Go home son

Thespaqueen > please talk less shit about people under a pseudonym we all know it’s you

Thespaqueen > Smile more people think you’re a dick

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I was never hamilton

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > we were actually pretty good friends though

3catholic5u > please don’t make this that davie episode

Thespaqueen > haha were you gay for Alexander I have a feeling I know the answer to this question

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > no matter what they tell you those fanfictions aren’t mine

Thespaqueen > THEY’RE ON YOUR FANFICTION.NET ACCOUNT

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > so, you’ve been reading them then?

Thespaqueen > Yeah I was the anon telling you that Lams is the better ship :)

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > oh please he loved everyone

Thespaqueen > haha he fucked everyone now I can see why you were so fond of Alexander

Thespaqueen > You were raised by a ho too

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > wait, what? Did I skip that part, or… goddamn iggy wtf

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > tell me he was drunk every time please

Thespaqueen > I COULD tell you that but I’d be a liar

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...I think Artie passed out

love&rosesaesthetic > you’re the one that let him drink

Vikingking > when has that ever been a good idea?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I didn’t even know he had wine in his basement

love&rosesaesthetic > he doesn’t

love&rosesaesthetic > Alfred, I do.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > shit

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I mean, you did give him your key and everything…

love&rosesaesthetic > how much is left??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > most of it

love&rosesaesthetic > I’m going over there

 

love&rosesaesthetic has left the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > shitshitshitshitshitshitshit

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m just gonna go dig my own grave, see ya

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic has left the conversation


	10. In which England wakes up realizing he fucked over the economy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that this WAS supposed to take place the morning after the day when the Brexit was being voted on. Also pls comment I am in constant need of validation and run off of comments ;')

Thespaqueen >> has added hungaryandhungry, eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, love&rosesaesthetic, thefabulouspolska, vikingking, iceicebby, 3catholic5u, notavamp, and mybrothersavampire to the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > You know what Iggy I’m blocking you

Thespaqueen > YOU’RE THE REASON THE ECONOMY IS GOING TO SHIT

Thespaqueen > ALL BC OF A BAD IDEA YOU NAMED TO SOUND LIKE A BREAKFAST BAR WTF IS A “BREXIT”

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Look, it wasn’t my idea.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I wasn’t the one who wanted to leave! I actually wanted to stay!

Thespaqueen > NOT ACCORDING TO THE FUCKING MAJORITY OF YOUR COUNTRY WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE EU

Hungaryandhungry > Calm down

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I was in the minority if it means anything to you.

Thespaqueen > GET OUTTTTT NOBODY IN THIS CHAT WANTS YOU HERE

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I wanted to stay! Why can’t you get it through your thick skull that I wanted to stay! I didn’t have any say in this!

Thespaqueen > Blocked unfollowed unfriended we are no longer mutuals on tumblr I am never tagging you in a picture on instagram again and I’m not reposting your shit on g+ get out of my life

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Czech. Listen to me. I had no part in this! I was one of the few trying to stop it for goodness sakes!

3catholic5u > why’d they leave anyways?

Thespaqueen > ANGRY TRUMP-Y SHITHEADS

Thespaqueen > Basically England wakes up after being drunk and goes on his computer with a massive headache to see that he left the EU did I get it right

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > To be honest, you only left out one part. I was drunk in the first place because my boss was against me in this. 

Thespaqueen > Okay now I’m mad at your boss Brexiter fucks need to chill

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > See, now if I told him that… 

Thespaqueen > haha u ded

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Maybe even burned knowing that one.

Thespaqueen > Would it okay to make fun of you right now Liz I really have something mean to say but I don’t wanna offend you so like??

Notavamp > sure go ahead

Thespaqueen > not you shithead

Hungaryandhungry > I have a feeling I know what ur gonna say pls don’t say it

Thespaqueen > I’ll put this the most respectful way possible: You ain’t got no food and Brexiters here are gonna keep it that way

Hungaryandhungry > SHE SAID IT

love&rosesaesthetic > can you just leave him out of it? I don’t want brows over here drunk around me again…

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you need to stop with the names.

Thespaqueen > Artie m’friend

Iceicebby > Berwald hath possesith your soul

Vikingking > it wasn’t my fault this time I swear

Notavamp > wait… this time?

Notavamp > not surprising

Mybrothersavampire > Honestly Brows, Iggy, Artie, you need to calm yourself

Thefabulouspolska > I honestly can’t believe that Czech hasn’t made a single sex joke about England yet

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > What. The. Actual. Fuck.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > What the bloody hell made you remind her??

Thespaqueen > Why haven’t we made a single sex joke about Feliks yet guys??

Notavamp > i’m in add toris

Thefabulouspolska > I regret making him get a Skype account

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> added TrafficLiet to the conversation

 

Notavamp > TrafficLiet…?

Thefabulouspolska > Flag colors + name pun

Notavamp > ok then

Trafficliet > I really don’t know why I was added to one of Feliks’s ridiculous Skype conversations but this is not going to end well.

Thefabulouspolska > I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE FULL SENTENCES 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Finally someone understands!

Trafficliet > Well I do need to practice my English, so it seems like the perfect opportunity.

Thefabulouspolska > YOU SOUND LIKE A FUCKING LIBRARIAN

Thespaqueen > Hey Toris read the chat

Trafficliet > ...Oh not this of all things.

3catholic5u > you ain’t seen nothin’ yet

Iceicebby > Welcome just so you know I’m the meme

Mybrothersavampire > just get the suffering over with now

Thespaqueen > Alright so we’re gonna kinkshame both of you have fun you fucks

Hungaryandhungry > Do I get a say in this

Notavamp > how about yes.

Vikingking > don’t you remember when you first met? 

Thefabulouspolska > IT WAS A STRESSFUL MOMENT AND I HAD NOTHING TO SAY

Thespaqueen > YOU DON’T JUST ASK TO SEE A GUY’S JUNK

love&rosesaesthetic > ...that’s what you said? That’s… uh… nice, I guess… wtf Feliks

Thefabulouspolska > THIS IS SUFFERING

Trafficliet > I really did think you were going to somehow insult me in this chat but… I’m enjoying this tension more than I thought I would.

Notavamp > what kind of tension we talking about here?

Trafficliet > Here we go.

Thespaqueen > OK SWITCHInG TOPICS AGAIN BC POLAND IS GONNA LEAVE THE CHAT IF WE DON’T ANNOY LIET TOO

Trafficliet > You don’t get to call me that.

love&rosesaesthetic > it is in your username

Thespaqueen > LIET LIET LIET LIET

Mybrothersavampire > LIET LIET LIET LIET

Notavamp > LIET LIET LIET LIET

Iceicebby > leedleedleedleedleedlee

Iceicebby > Oh sorry *LIET LIET LIET LIET

Trafficliet > PLEASE STOP.

Thespaqueen > Okay no but like let’s switch topics to last night when I was trying to watch a movie with Liz and you had to fuCK IN THE OTHER ROOM

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > goddamn

3catholic5u > …

3catholic5u > we talked about this!

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Please, you say it almost as much as I do.

3catholic5u > fine. Go to hell for all I care.

Thespaqueen > IVE GIVEN UP ISNT HELL CAPITALIZED OR

Thespaqueen > Oh sorry caps lock

3catholic5u > tbh I have no clue on that one

3catholic5u > I’m not capitalizing that forsaken place

Thespaqueen > k

Hungaryandhungry > For the record she probably isn’t “k” I am again going to spit my drink all over her

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...Can we get back to the shaming?

Thespaqueen > SURE

Thespaqueen > Anyways Poland and Liet are hella loud and need to shut the fuck up while Hungary is over

Iceicebby > Why are you and Hungary always together tho you haven’t even been on a formal second date you just hang out a lot

Notavamp > anyone gonna ask it?

love&rosesaesthetic > no

Notavamp > fine. I’ll do it myself.

Thespaqueen > WHAT?? What is it??

Notavamp > Czech likes Hungary??

Thespaqueen > GeT ouT Of MY FkNG CHURCHH

3catholic5u > *GeT ouT Of MY Church

Thespaqueen > All of you are banned from my Church

3catholic5u > least you wrote of right

Thespaqueen > *At least

Thespaqueen > Write it correctly dumbass

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > *Write it correctly you dumbass.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Really, it isn’t difficult.

Mybrothersavampire > pfft I love how both Poland and Lithuania aren’t here

love&rosesaesthetic > they are… probably. Let me check.

love&rosesaesthetic > yeah, LietPol never left.

love&rosesaesthetic > *Liet and Pol

Thefabulouspolska > we’re still [unfortunately] here

Trafficliet > Honestly, I don’t condone what you guys are doing and don’t remember giving you permission to make fun of me in front of my entire work team.

Thefabulouspolska > THEY DO THIS ALL THE TIME

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > If you bothered to read the chat, you’ll see Czech doesn’t ask.

Thespaqueen > SHUT UP NO ONE ASKED FOR YOU TO FUCK EVERYONE DID THEY

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> removed thespaqueen from the converation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Enough of that.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Toris, I suggest leaving while you have the chance.

Hungaryandhungry > You’re forgetting I’M IN THE SAME ROOM AS ANOTHER CHAT MEMBER - Czech

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> removed hungaryandhungary from the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > As I was saying,

 

Iceicebby >> added thespaqueen and hungaryandhungry to the conversation

 

Iceicebby > HE THREW AWAY HIS SHOT

Trafficliet > I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT

 

Trafficliet >> left the coversation

 

Thefabulouspolska > He already did-

Thefabulouspolska > So I’m assuming the whole shaming thing backfired--

Thespaqueen > p much

Vikingking > and… you failed

Iceicebby > eeeey I was summoned by the sound of memes coming from Lukas

Iceicebby > The hills are alive with the sound of memes

Vikingking > I’m not as hopeless as you thought with this stuff

Notavamp > that really makes you sound old. I mean, you are… but now you’re actually acting like it

Thespaqueen > ALL OF US ARE OLD

Thespaqueen > VERY OLD

Thespaqueen > THE #OLDEST

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Aren’t I the oldest here?

Thespaqueen > that makes it even creepier that you FUCKED THE WORLD

love&rosesaesthetic > ...I’m the oldest here if you haven’t noticed

Thespaqueen > Well shit man I’m the youngest so

Thespaqueen > What point are ya tryna prove

love&rosesaesthetic > Vlad started it

Notavamp > Thanks, Frog

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I thought I was the only one who called him that

love&rosesaesthetic >it’s an unspoken rule that only Arthur calls me Frog.

love&rosesaesthetic > well, it’s a spoken one now at least

Notavamp > k then…

Notavamp > whelp, I ship it like FedEx

Notavamp > tbh who doesn’t

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Haven’t you heard of that ‘Face’ family business?

love&rosesaesthetic > and what the Pict computer said about us?

Notavamp > right, forgot.

Thespaqueen > HOW DID U FORGET THAT

Thespaqueen > Russia told us all about it after he got back from the damn mission

Thespaqueen > “They love each other. Sexually.”

love&rosesaesthetic > here comes the shaming…

Thespaqueen > Nah France you’re too nice to me for me to annoy you

Thespaqueen > NOW ENGLAND ON THE OTHER HAND-

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > fuck

Thespaqueen > yeah that’s basically describing what you did to the entire world

Thespaqueen > All you did was ____.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oh, shut it.

3catholic5u > isn’t that Alistar’s line?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Yes, and?

3catholic5u > Just asking

Thespaqueen > Oh yeah you still have even more brothers like

Thespaqueen > England as far as I know your brothers are: America dude, Canada eh, Scotland kilt, Ireland jesus and shamrocks, Australia awkward animals™, New Zealand who is Australia's chia pet

Thespaqueen > And everyone else was at one point someone you fucked

3catholic5u > Well you did forget Wales. 

love&rosesaesthetic > I’m not even going to start with what you called Mathieu

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Seamus, please tell me you noticed what’s next to your name.

3catholic5u > Oh, I did. Why bother though, we’re all going to hell

Vikingking > that’s dark

Notavamp > blacker than the kettle callin’ the pot

Thespaqueen > 3catholic5u is going through some shit and had given up

Thespaqueen > Don’t give up fren

Thespaqueen > Pray for him

3catholic5u > when have we switched spots?

Thespaqueen > I-

Thespaqueen > I honestly don’t know


	11. In Which Ireland Yells A Lot and England Gets Murdered For A Day

3catholic5u > céad míle faílte everyone!

Thespaqueen > How do you even speak Irish tho??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Seamus…?

Notavamp > shit… not this again

3catholic5u > I’m sorry, but you don’t speak Irish. 

3catholic5u > It’s called Gaelic you aiteann

Thespaqueen > What does that even mean

Thefabulouspolska > she’s abt to fight u she just put down her phone to crack her knuckles 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Being honest here, you don’t want to know.

Thespaqueen > FIGHT ME WHAT DID U JUST SAY

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > He called you a cunt.

Thespaqueen > COME AT ME SCRUBLORD I’M RIPPED

Iceicebby > Stop threatening each other w memes

3catholic5u > tbh I would come but it’s too far unless one of those three volunteers to teleport me or something

Thespaqueen > Honestly with the space difference I don’t even remember how we had the drinking contest

Vikingking > well, 

Notavamp > its a little thing

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > we like to call teleportation

Thespaqueen > Then why was Lukas the designated driver???  
Vikingking > it takes all three of us to teleport so many of you

Thespaqueen > So we teleported there and drove back?

Vikingking > yeah. 

Thespaqueen > Who took England home he’s on an island

Thespaqueen > And same for Ice

Iceicebby > Pffft Lukas took us home and he honestly looked so upset doing it

Thefabulouspolska > I don’t blame him tbh

Hungaryandhungry > What did I miss while I was still only your acquaintance 

love&rosesaesthetic > please no one break into song

Thespaqueen > WHAT DID I MISS

Thespaqueen > HEADFIRST INTO THE POLITICAL ABYSS

Hungaryandhungry > (headfirst, into the abyss)

love&rosesaesthetic > sweet Jesus

3catholic5u > :)

Notavamp > oh yeah what did you even say at the beginning

3catholic5u > a hundred thousand welcomes

Thespaqueen > How random

Thefabulouspolska > DESCRIBING THE WHOLE CHAT TBH-

Thefabulouspolska > “how random”

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > nailed it

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > *Nailed it. Sorry about that.

Iceicebby > He’s evolving into a modern human being

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oh, please. I’m fine.

Iceicebby > PRESS B

Hungaryandhungry > bbbbbbbbbbbbBBBBBBBBB

Thefabulouspolska > BBBBBBB

love&rosesaesthetic > BBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

Iceicebby > bbbb

Notavamp BBBbbBBBBbbBBBB

Mybrothersavampire > bBbBbBbBBbBbBbbb

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Since when was I a pokemon exactly?

Vikingking > guys stop he de-evolved

3catholic5u > tbh it would be weird if Artie didn’t txt in full sentences, right?

Thespaqueen > Guys stop delaying the inevitable

Thespaqueen > Hewith me in the first place.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Emil, sin’s slowly being cured

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Nothing was wrong with me you brought it up in the first place, I think it’s really the rest of you that need to evolve.

Iceicebby > ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You actually need to stop with that

Thespaqueen > HE FORGOT THE PERIOD

Thespaqueen > HES EVOLVING!!

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > *HE’S

Thespaqueen > OK scratch that

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oh God, wrong button.

Thefabulouspolska > How do you wrong button a shrug emoji??

Thefabulouspolska > Like why do you have that even copied??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Best I leave that unanswered.

love&rosesaesthetic > Arthur…?

Iceicebby > Who r u what did u do 2 our friend

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I killed him and his body is in the closet.

Thespaqueen > Last time I checked he was proudly out

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Yeah, he was. Until a few hours ago.

Thespaqueen > Who is this???

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > The name’s Alistair.

Iceicebby > O another redhead in the chat why are they more of them now where did they come from and why did u kill Arthur??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Relax, he’ll come back.

Vikingking > man, and I thought I was a bad brother

Iceicebby > u really r

Hungaryandhungry > I know he’s an annoying person overall, but what drove you to kill him…?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > tbh he just got on my nerves

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > don’t worry he won’t remember a thing

3catholic5u > yeah, until he reads this

Thespaqueen > Ok but did Ireland 

3catholic5u > did Ireland what?

Thespaqueen > DID HE HELP I NEED TO KNOW

Thespaqueen > He suspiciously opened his chat in a friendly way like???

Thespaqueen > Seamus?? Friendly?? Uh no.

3catholic5u > thanks

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > haha no

love&rosesaesthetic > I’m sorry if I misunderstood, but Arthur is actually dead…?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > yeah why

love&rosesaesthetic > Comment pourriez-vous bâtard. Je vous déteste tellement en ce moment.

love&rosesaesthetic > vraiment? pourquoi serait même tuer votre frère et ma date?

love&rosesaesthetic > Va te faire foutre.

Iceicebby > All I got out of that was the word “meme”

Notavamp > uh… translation?

love&rosesaesthetic > How could you bastard. I hate you so much right now. Really? Why would even kill your brother and my date? Go fuck yourself.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well then

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > isn’t that… nice

Thespaqueen > I was almost sure you two had kids who you raised

Thespaqueen > “date”

love&rosesaesthetic > if you’d like to get technical, we were never actually married (if you remember that calendar incident), so…

Notavamp > can’t you see? It is a calendar!

Notavamp > yeah, we remember

Thespaqueen > I at least expected you to be bfs what is this I hear about dates

3catholic5u > seriously? Artie’s dead and you’re worried about that??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I mean it isn’t that big of a deal

Thespaqueen > Oh yeah that’s also kinda a problem thanks for reminding me

Hungaryandhungry > how do you forget something like that?

Thespaqueen > I really don’t know tbh

3catholic5u > honestly Alistair how did he even piss you off this time

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > tbh he beat me in chess and wouldn’t stop bragging about it

Thespaqueen > I-

Thespaqueen > You killed your brother

Thespaqueen > For winning a game of chess

Thespaqueen > You take the cake as the worst sore-loser brother ever

Thespaqueen > And Feliks one time locked me outside of our house for a week after I won a bet, so…

Thefabulouspolska > ONE TIME ADELA THAT WAS ONE TIME

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you see, he… well… was slightly drunk at the time and still won, so…

Mybrothersavampire > Is he drinking his problems of leaving the EU away

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > yeah actually

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > then I just brought out the chess board and it took off from there

love&rosesaesthetic > well, when is he going to be back?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > tomorrow probably

Iceicebby > REST IN PEPPERONI 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > what meme is that tho

Thespaqueen > are you even on instagram or

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > nah why

Thefabulouspolska > Observe Czech using every social media possible to numb the pain of having NO SOCIAL INTERACTION

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic> ok…?

Thespaqueen > ShUT uP whAt ArE yoU guYS thEN

Iceicebby > ~Friends and our friends are not friends~

Iceicebby > ~Plus they’re planning on invading the entire ocean~

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > hey do you think Kiku gets pissed off by that video?

Vikingking > yeah probably

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly?? This chat is going nowhere good fast and I love it


	12. In Which Czech Roasts Herself

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oh God… why the hell did I wake up in my closet with blood on the floor?

3catholic5u > read the chat

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> has left the conversation

 

3catholic5u > oh damn I just heard him yell Alistair louder than ever

love&rosesaesthetic > serves him right

Notavamp > put Alistair in your prayers

3catholic5u > yeah, uh… not a chance

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> has joined the conversation

 

3catholic5u > how’d it go?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well, he’ll be waking up with a big, red welt on his cheek.

Vikingking > wait wait did you kill him?? Is it a family trait to kill your brother when your mad or…?

Thespaqueen > haha then Slovakia and Poland would be long dead soo

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oh shut it.

love&rosesaesthetic > but that’s… Alistair I swear

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oh, please. Give him a break, I already knocked him out.

Thespaqueen > wait how tho?? You’re old and the closest to combat you get is losing at MarioKart

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I can throw a solid punch and you shouldn’t be talking.

Notavamp > savage

Hungaryandhungary > damn right

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well, since that’s all sorted out, am I the only one that found Lukas humming “Frozen Heart”?

thefabulouspolska > Wait he’s what now

thefabulouspolska > I THOUGHT THE TREND WAS,,

thefabulouspolska > Let go of

mybrothersavampire > groAN

3catholic5u > I can hear his groaning from the nexT COUnTRY OVER

love&rosesaesthetic > wait wasn’t ‘first time in forever’ his thing?

iceicebby > his playlist is just lots of “Frozen” you don’t understand whenever he gets the AUX cord in the car its always FROZEN

iceicebby > PSA: ALL oF THE otHeR NORDiCS arE SICk oF UR ShIt

Vikingking > what?? wtf do you mean?? its great!!

Notavamp > I swear I can hear him singing ‘let it go’ from the other room help me please

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Lukass stop.

Vikingking > was that intentional, or...?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Yes

thespaqueen > This is some 10/10 level shade being thrown here LukASS STEP UP UR GAME

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Why do I have a sick feeling in my stomach

3catholic5u > you cooked?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > No, you idiot. I just have a feeling that one of us is going to start a rant about a movie’s soundtrack soon.

Vikingking > yep

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> removed vikingking from the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Glad I avoided that.

thespaqueen > someone made a cooking joke though who are we roasting today??

hungaryandhungry >EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELVES ADELA

hungaryandhungry > ehem let me start by saying that Czech watches Dora The Explorer

thespaqueen > ONLY IRONiCALLY

hungaryandhungry > You looped “I’m the Map” and had it in a speaker playing through your house

iceicebby > Mirror Mirror on the wall who’s the dankest of them all

3catholic5u > you tbh

iceicebby > THANK YOU but the title actually goes to my fav pyromaniac

thespaqueen > No.

 

Notavamp >> added vikingking to the conversation

 

Vikingking > maybe you shouldn’t bring up the thing between you two anymore on this chat.

Vikingking > just saying

iceicebby > SHut up Lukass “friends w benefits” Bondevik

Vikingking > but really where did you get abs, and I’m not bothered by that

iceicebby >FIGHT ME I’m on track but the fact that you don’t believe I have abs fiGHT ME

Vikingking > sure where and when

iceicebby > ON SECOnD THOUGHT

Vikingking > yeah?

iceicebby >Dennys parking lot at midnight

mybrothersavampire > ?

Vikingking > so we’re doing this

iceicebby > YEP FIGHT ME

thespaqueen > Money on Lukas

hungaryandhungry > Was that a Hamilton joke tho?

Vikingking > oh, yeah

love&rosesaesthetic > can you give that show a break?

love&rosesaesthetic > I just realized what I have done

Notavamp > take a break and get away

mybrothersavampire > ITS TOO LATE NOW

thefabulouspolska > lmao

thespaqueen > WHere were you??

thefabulouspolska > I was doing something w Toris bc unlike you guys I have a life

Notavamp > wow salt does run in your family huh

Vikingking > are the other nordics coming to this fight or what?

iceicebby > ye bruh

hungaryandhungry > have memes possessed your soul?

thespaqueen > SALT RUNS IN MY BLOOOODDDD

thefabulouspolska > This is sparTAA

love&rosesaesthetic > we don’t talk about him anymore

3catholic5u > athens, then?

love&rosesaesthetic > she will be missed

thespaqueen > AGAIN ShE WAs ToO NIce tO DIe

thespaqueen > Both of them had some… Issues tho

thespaqueen > as a couple

love&rosesaesthetic > holdup what???

thespaqueen > I feel like we shouldn’t talk about the relations between a couple of which one literally murdered the other and then got murdered himself like

love&rosesaesthetic > but that happens all the time with nations!

love&rosesaesthetic > maybe not the second part, but…

love&rosesaesthetic > please tell me what happened

thespaqueen > You’ll understand when ur older Francis

love&rosesaesthetic > first off, you can’t talk. Second, I’m actually the oldest here, so…

love&rosesaesthetic > tell me

3catholic5u > wait you sure on that? I was sure it was Artie

iceicebby > google it my friens

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You forgot the ‘d’.

thespaqueen > At this point we’re lucky there’s no “d” in this group of friens, Arthur.

Vikingking > there are no memes in your dreams

iceicebby > There are *always* memes in my dreams dear bro

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > “Dear bro.” You two were about to kill eachother like a minute ago

thefabulouspolska > What do you know about healthy family relationships

thespaqueen > Feliks roasting Arthur is my thing

thefabulouspolska >YOU GET UR SALT FROM SOMEWHERE AND IT AINT THE SKY

Notavamp > ZEUS HATH BESTOWED SALT UPON THIS CHILD

3catholic5u > none of us are greek though

Notavamp > *insert sky god here* HATH BESTOWED SALT UPON THIS CHILD

thespaqueen > We’ve been talking shit about the Greeks this entire chat like first Sparta and then Athens and then *insert sky god here*

Vikingking > no one show Greece this

hungaryandhungry > Tomorrow’s Goal: make sure to show this to Greece

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > haha no

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Please don’t. We don’t need anyone else mad at us.

thespaqueen > *mad at you

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well, Vlad made the sky God joke

thespaqueen > Just let me roAST YOUUU

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Uh… no

love&rosesaesthetic > Arthur! You’re learning how to text!!! 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Hm? Okay then...

hungaryandhungry > That’s right Arthur just fuck up your grammar just a bit more 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Wow, you really do sound like Czech sometimes.

hungaryandhungry > You know come at me cuz I’m not sure if that’s an insult or a compliment

mybrothersavampire > ??

3catholic5u > oh God I just heard him burst out laughing what have we done to my brother he’s gone

3catholic5u > guys this is serious Artie is losing his mind

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Thanks.

thespaqueen > called it

thespaqueen >To be honest I already thought he lost his mind

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Wait, that’s where you’re taking it? You usually attempt a roast at least, are you alright?

thespaqueen > YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING DESTROY YOU WELL OK

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Please, be my guest.

Thespaqueen > First of all, I don’t know why your fucking million eyebrows fit on your pasty-ass forehead. Your eyebrows look more like caterpillars to be honest, but that’s nothing compared to the rest of the hair on your head. It seems like you brush your eyebrows as opposed to the nasty-ass haystack that rests on your forehead. You dress like an old man. oh wait. Furthermore, after many many years of even existing, it seems to kill you if you take up a fucking cooking class to at least compensate for the fucking charcoal that comes out of your oven. Since nobody would even find you remotely attractive, you found the need to forcefully raid and rape literally everyone. After all of that, you were confused as to why nobody wanted to be your friend but your little brother and your stockholm syndrome-ridden boyfriend. Does that sound good?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > There’s the Czech we know.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m taking pasty-ass forehead as a compliment. 

love&rosesaesthetic > and… the rest? Like, I don’t know, your stockholm syndrome-ridden boyfriend?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well, I was never entirely sure what went on in your head, so…

love&rosesaesthetic > did you care to ask?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > It never came up.

love&rosesaesthetic > IT’S COMING UP NOW

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Fine. Did you get it, then?

love&rosesaesthetic > No, but…

Notavamp > are we interrupting something here?

love&rosesaesthetic > yeah

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > course not

Thespaqueen > Arthur is so awkward talking about feelings like damn 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > So Francis is any better?

thespaqueen > HES TRYING HIS BEST

thespaqueen > I’m forming the Francis protection squad

Notavamp > we need one of those for Andrei tbh

Vikingking > you know who you haven’t roasted yet czech?

thespaqueen > Who?? 

Vikingking > Hungary, Ireland, Moldova, and good ol’ you

thespaqueen > OK IM DOING THE ROAST YOURSELF CHALLENGE

thespaqueen > First of all you short-ass piece of shit, you find pleasure in hurting the feelings of your own [stupid-ass] friends, even in the challenge in which you roast yourself. Speaking of your friends, you literally hang out with the dude who fucked you without your consent like what the fuck?? You have audacity to date the girl who not only drenched your favorite outfit in a mix of saliva and apple juice, but also who despises one of your closest friends. No really. Haven't you ever heard of bros before hoes? You curse so fucking much, it seems like your vocabulary is only limited to the word “fuck”. You’re honestly a horrible shit. 

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> has left the conversation

 

Notavamp > finally you realize

hungaryandhungry > I honestly don’t know what to say or why I’m genuinely upset at you

thespaqueen > fuck fuck fuck um sorry uh um I called myself dumb too tho??

 

hungaryandhungry >> has left the conversation

 

thespaqueen > What even are girls

Vikingking > wouldn’t you know?

Notavamp > hey, at least we know the last line is right

thespaqueen > Um I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Czech Literally upset everyone she has A Talent for this Shit.


	13. In Which Everyone Plans The Hunger Games

thespaqueen > So the try guys did a thing where they survived in the wilderness for a day so… Czech out my new plan

thespaqueen > haha

thespaqueen > Get it

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > no

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > just stop

Vikingking > Only ice puns around here

thespaqueen > well ok but what if we were to do a thing where couples basically camp out in the woods for a few days and test who can survive the longest

3catholic5u > wait so FrUk vs. RoNor vs. Whatever the hell your shipname is?

thespaqueen > no… FrUK vs RoNor vs [czech x hungary ship name] vs LietPol vs HongIce 

Notavamp > ronor? uh… no

love&rosesaesthetic > salty frying pan could be your ship name

hungaryandhungry > OK HONESTLY COME AT ME

love&rosesaesthetic > where and when. Really I’m ready for this fight me bro

thespaqueen > Weehawken. Dawn. Guns. Drawn.

love&rosesaesthetic > try fists. Nobody (aka you) needs to die.

thespaqueen > I FEEL SO ATTACKED RN

thespaqueen > No but who here claims to have the densest forest land?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I could just ask Matthew

thespaqueen > Ok that sounds nice and all but I don’t want everyone to die that fast like that’s some bad snow

thefabulouspolska > I LIKE THIS IDEA THO cmon I can prove I’m better than you guys

iceicebby > Toris is gonna be the one to save your butt and we all know it you’re honestly at a really good advantage with him on your team

Vikingking > but you’ll have your sexting buddy with you. Leon, right?

iceicebby > Okay,, But nobody asked for your input or opinion,,

Vikingking > nobody asked for pol’s either

thefabulouspolska > OKAY LIKE DO YOU WANNA GO I WILL SLAY

Vikingking > Wait, is murder allowed in this game?

thespaqueen > um… I wanna say yes…Ok yeah

3catholic5u > how about no

thespaqueen > Get ur ginger-ass out of here leprechaun you’re not even playing

thespaqueen > But like we aren’t allowed to have our phones so no snapchatting dead body pics I’m looking at you Romania and Hungary. Emil no snapchat in general bc your story’s a mess. Arthur doesn’t even know how to use a flip-phone,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > okay thats enough

thespaqueen > Anyways yeah no tents either only shelters we make there. We only come with the clothes on our backs, our significant others and a will to survivE

Vikingking > okay, two things. First off, what’s the weapon situation? Second, we really shouldn’t be able to murder each other

thespaqueen > why not??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oh, I don’t know, maybe I’d rather not die twice in one week?

Notavamp > lukas, if the three of us had our weapons we could wipe out the competition with a few words.

Vikingking > it was worth a try

thespaqueen > ok no weapons but the ones we make there

3catholic5u > well, Artie’s gonna win. He can touch a few berries on a bush and whoever eats them is either dead or close to it

thespaqueen > ok no trusting Arthur around food,,

thespaqueen > and NO MAGIC

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oh, come on!

Notavamp > Seriously??

Vikingking > Come on, why though??? We’d need to carry a huge book around, so it helps you guys even!!

thespaqueen > I’m saying this for the sake of protecting a particular person against a particular vampire bc we ALL know who’s dead first,

Notavamp > you?

hungaryandhungry > Me you idiot

thespaqueen > Plus Arthur is gonna be away from Romania and Norway so no spellbook for him anyways

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > we all have one, and the original is mine anyways.

thespaqueen > As I was saying no magic

thespaqueen > No bringing extra stuff

Notavamp > not even one spell page?

thespaqueen > LIKE I SAID

Notavamp > you just want to take the fun out of everything

thespaqueen > Honestly tho it’s an unfair advantage ok no MAGIC

hungaryandhungry > is torture allowed?? Not asking for any particular reason

thespaqueen > I’m gonna say no extreme torture but… Yeah nothing too bad

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > What if it’s okay for someone but like death for someone else?

love&rosesaesthetic > k so no one bring Ivan into the game and we’re good

thespaqueen > NOBODY LIKES IVAN

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > But really, what if someone (no one in particular at all) has a fear of… fire, maybe? A completely consuming fear? A phobia, even? But what if no one else does?

thespaqueen >Well you’ll die of exposure

thespaqueen > What if someone, oh idk, was actually like permanently traumatized by the distinct memory of Prussia fucking gutting you?? Like please nobody torture me like this knives are horrible things

Vikingking > we’ll keep that in mind… 

thespaqueen > lovely.

Notavamp > but what about wooden stakes?? This is serious!!

thespaqueen > what other weapons are we gonna make in the wilderness tho

thespaqueen > everyone take note of everyone else’s phobias

hungaryandhungry > I HAVE A CRIPPLING FEAR OF VAMPIRES,,

hungaryandhungry > oh and starvation but moSTLY VAMPIRES

Notavamp > but what if you have a fear of… hm… hanging, maybe?

hungaryandhungry > I’LL TAKE NOTE OF THAT AND NOT FOR AVOIDING

Notavamp > fuck you 2 frien

iceicebby > ok but I have a fear of tumblr sjw’s hate comments

thespaqueen > Get out cis scuM!!1!

iceicebby > TRIGGERED did u just assume my gender??1?

3catholic5u > I have a phobia of all your damn phobias really get a grip

thespaqueen > phobophobia, Seamus.The word you’re looking for is Phobophobia.

3catholic5u > k thx that works

Vikingking > hehe… fear of drowning tbh

thefabulouspolska > Honestly I have an irrational fear of loud noises and salutes and fucking NAZIS BUT HEY THATS VERY IRRATIONAL

thespaqueen > Honestly it also runs in the family to hate Germanics right??

love&rosesaesthetic > I mean my thing is solitude but I don’t think that would even work in this situation

love&rosesaesthetic > yay for me but really

hungaryandhungry > Honestly with the fact that Arthur is afraid of fire he’ll die of exposure and you’ll be alone so

hungaryandhungry > just try

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > The thing with fire is that if I make it Im fine, but if someone else gets too close to me with it… well… I’m screwed

thefabulouspolska > R we all ganging up on Arthur or

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > uh… no

thespaqueen > no bc FRANCIS IS ON HIS TEAM AND THE PURE ONE MUST BE PROTECTED

thespaqueen > Join the Francis protection squad today

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > remember when he gave Feliciano the sex talk? Not so pure.

thespaqueen > Yes but I never had it and I didn’t know it existed until I began texting you guys and it was so awkward

hungaryandhungry > I really want to say something but I don’t wanna embarrass you

thespaqueen > Keep your mouth shuttttt

3catholic5u > Please, please. Go ahead.

iceicebby > We’re listening

thespaqueen > FIGHT ME

hungaryandhungry > I had to give her the talk

thefabulouspolska > I’m a horrible brother :/

Vikingking > Emil you never actually told us you fear, or me for that matter, so…

iceicebby > um… I’m not mortally scared you see, unlike all of you

iceicebby > It’s vikings

Vikingking > pardon

iceicebby > Specifically the NORWEGIAN ONES

Vikingking > wow I always knew you cared I’m touched just wow thanks bro

iceicebby > ok kidding

iceicebby > IDK I don’t have any triggers when it comes to battle I just generally don’t like battle and curl up whenever I’m in combat?

yeVikingking > fine I might as well tell you. He’s scared of the dark like you wouldn’t believe.

iceicebby > ANYTHING CAN GET YOU IN THE DARK THOUGH

3catholic5u > you and Artie better not team up or anything

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I explained it

iceicebby > Leon has a fear of amputation y’all are weird aS FUCK

thefabulouspolska > I mean Toris has long lasting PTSD from the USSR if that counts

thespaqueen > I’ll tell you one thing Feliks you didn’t help,,

thefabulouspolska > I HAD MY OWN PROBLEMS TO DEAL WITH

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > On a separate note, when is this happening?

thespaqueen > Tomorrow you can teleport us

mybrothersavampire > Good luck

Notavamp > we need to apologize to this kid sometime  
thespaqueen > Well im gonna go to sleep and try to get well-rested enough not to fucking die

hungaryandhungry >K I’m going too gn

thefabulouspolska > ha

thefabulouspolska > ha

thefabulouspolska > Honestly am I the only one noticing that they’re going to bed together my sister is growing up so faST

thespaqueen > shut up ur dead tomorrow

Notavamp > i’m just gonna go memorize a few spells all night see ya bye

hungaryandhungry > ok cheater I’m gonna look up how to tie a noose in the morning I’m going to sleep now

3catholic5u > dirty heathens don’t cheat I want a show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IS THIS GONNA COUNT AS MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH OR


	14. In Which Sve is not that good at consoling anyone

Iceicebby >> has added sveDONE to the conversation

 

iceicebby > Sve this is not something I usually do BUT

iceicebby > Look ok so I’m not supposed to have my phone but I think u deserve to know I’m in a tree and I think Artie spotted me where did hE GET A BOW

Svedone > you’re telling me you didn’t know he could make one?

Svedone > seriously? He’s always been able to!

iceicebby > Ok shhhh but I’m not sure if this branch is sturdy so just letting you know that this has already gone too far and it’s only the second day

Svedone > you’re screwed sorry

Svedone > rookie mistake tbh

Svedone > why did you even agree to something like this though? Where’s your friend? Isn’t he with you? If ro is with nor shouldn’t HK be near you?

iceicebby > Ok first of all I’m abt to die stop asking so many questions

iceicebby > I agreed to this bc… Honestly IDK I’d never hear the end of it if I didn’t. Leon is here with me but I’m pretty sure he’s behind another tree somewhere on the ground

Svedone > to put it in some sort of way you’ll understand… you are a simple farmer tending to your meme crops, but someone shot you and so they burned in the sun

Svedone > don’t let your memes burn

iceicebby > I know it’s not the time but we were all thinking this

iceicebby > I hope you burrrrrrrrnnnnn

Svedone > do you want me to leave?

iceicebby > No but uh can you just tell the others that their friend is dead or are you gonna keep patronizing me

Svedone > fine they’ll know

Svedone > chill ice, you’ll come back soon enough

iceicebby > Why are you so negligent You guys basically raised me you were the chill onE BUT

iceicebby > NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE CHILL

iceicebby > Shit he's shooting at me

Svedone > he never misses, so… yeah sorry

Svedone > the snow isn’t giving him very good footing.

Svedone > um… any last words or… texts maybe?

iceicebby > Uh well nothing I can say out loud to Leon but I’ll text him. in the meantime I waned to tell you I hate you thanks for raising me to be this bad of a kid :))

Svedone > np

iceicebby > Oh yeah I’ve never died before what is it like

Svedone > everyone in your nation that was shot w/ a bow and arrow you’ll feel their pain until you come back

Svedone > sorry bro

iceicebby > SO wait even when I’m dead I’ll feel pain

Svedone > one of the many downsides to a nation's existence

Svedone > but yeah pretty much

iceicebby > Ok well Uh I’ll text Leon I love him how do you get used to this UGGGG

Svedone > you don’t really

iceicebby > Ok but I have to put my phone away and try to run for as long as possible so bye for a week or so

Svedone > k see ya try not to die have fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That moment when you decide to actually kill off half of your characters and bring them back in a span of a few weeks :)). Nah, but Metta and I are bad at life and this is our clusterfuck of a result. Also sorry for his name being a pun he's a dork. This is such a short chapter but I'm putting out another in a few minutes so that balances out


	15. In Which Alistair is a Snarky asshole of an older brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IS THIS GONNA COUNT AS MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH HOLY FUCK

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> added NessieIsReal

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ok I feel terrible how the fuck did you do this to me a few days ago

NessieIsReal > Honestly it’s just fine

NessieIsReal > You did this just a couple of centuries ago don’t tell me you’ve started feeling bad about this

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > but it was emil though!

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > that was his first death and I shot him with an arrow through his heart!!!!

NessieIsReal > Everyone will hear about this I will make sure of it.. to be honest it’s not that bad

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > yeah, but he was with HK!

NessieIsReal > Ok if that’s the case you’re a horrible person

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > since when did you like him? I thought you hated him to be honest

NessieIsReal > Regardless you killed him in front of HK that’s pretty cold

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > oh please he’ll be fine. He’s the one that set half my house on fire, remember? Fire? I’m screwed, maybe??

NessieIsReal > Isn't his username something about pyromania

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > exactly!!

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you KNOW my thing with fire!

NessieIsReal > That’s your problem the only advice I can give you is not to mess with people who will literally take advantage of your one phobia

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > fuck

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > francis is going to go beserk

NessieIsReal > Wait why that’s narcissistic of you to assume he would literally die if you're not there for a few days

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > first off, if wouldn’t be the first time. Second, he’s near me. He’ll see me… well… burn

NessieIsReal > Not the first time he’d see someone he love die bc of fire I mean I’m surprised he’s not the one afraid of fire here

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > she was a human, is was bound to happen

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > and that’s why his fear is solitude 

NessieIsReal > You kids and your #triggers

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > goddamn have you been on tumblr

NessieIsReal > You’re lucky your other brother isn’t on here

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > he’d kill me before HK did

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > not to mention the grammar

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > please don’t tell the others about this chat

NessieIsReal > Oh I won’t I’m not in your little chat so I can’t

NessieIsReal > Wait speaking of HK isn’t he near you or something since he was near Emil when you killed him

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > yeah… fuck

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > he’s lighting up everything around us

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > gotta run, bye!

NessieIsReal > I'm surprised you didn’t faint by now

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you know, it is getting a little darker

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > shitshitshitshit its spreading like wildfire

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > oh wait

NessieIsReal > it is wildfire

NessieIsReal > It’s been two minutes are you writing an essay or did you already faint

NessieIsReal > I’m assuming it’s the latter

NessieIsReal > Why’d I bring it up

NessieIsReal > Ok good luck don’t embarrass your family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me be real for a second Alistair's username was Metta's best idea.. Trash then decided to make him the most snarky and sarcastic older brother of all time. I just love how the no-phone rule was so ignored that even Arthur broke it.


	16. In Which Mei is a smol bean worried abt her brother

Weebpyromania >> added TheBubbleteaQueen

 

weebpyromania > Ok Mei don’t freak out but I just need to know for no particular reason: what is it like to die?? 

TheBubbleteaQueen > wait why? HK, what did you do this time???

weebpyromania > Nothing I did per say

weebpyromania > I’d blame Arthur for this one

TheBubbleteaQueen > well why wouldn’t you?

TheBubbleteaQueen > but in all honesty, why did you ask?

weebpyromania > Ok I know you’re gonna make a big deal about this BUT I don’t know if I told you about the hunger games thing?

TheBubbleteaQueen > That? Yeah, you told me! The books were great, but the movies really weren’t what I thought they would be.

weebpyromania > no no! the thing about the hunger games thing with my friends where we went into the woods in couples??

weebpyromania > Ok so people are already dying on the second day

TheBubbleteaQueen > wait you did what? Leon, where are you?

weebpyromania > ...In the forests of Canada pitted against my other friends and my partner in the game, Emil, may have gotten shot with an arrow

weebpyromania > By Brows

weebpyromania > and I may have lit up an entire wildfire which may or may not envelope me completely, trapping me and Emil in a fiery purgatory until it’s put out

TheBubbleteaQueen > why would mattie even allow that? Isn’t he peaceful or something? Leon you can’t burn! Fire’s your thing! And not to mention dying for nations isn’t the same for humans!!

weebpyromania > Right.. So like what happens when a nation dies? We just come back I’m sure it’s not that much of a big deal.

TheBubbleteaQueen > you come back after all your wounds heal, but…

TheBubbleteaQueen > well, you’ll feel the pain of everyone that’s died the same way you did throughout your history!

TheBubbleteaQueen > it’s a really big deal Leon!

weebpyromania > WAIT Throughout China or just my area?

TheBubbleteaQueen > with you I’m not sure, so…

weebpyromania > Well I did have my own thing going on for a while so I’m sure it won’t be ALL of China right??

weebpyromania > Plus I’m BASICALLY separate sooo

TheBubbleteaQueen > basically separate isn’t separate!!

weebpyromania > This was a bad idea uhhhh well at least Arthur died too so I exacted revenge on the perpetrator of Emil’s death

TheBubbleteaQueen > you two are going to need a support group after your first death

TheBubbleteaQueen > at least you should wake up at around the same time… maybe?

weebpyromania > We did both burn in a fire so

weebpyromania > Ok this is a bigger deal than I thought it would be and I’m sitting by behind a tree texting as a fucking fire closes in on me

weebpyromania > WAIT IS MY PHONE GONNA BE OK

TheBubbleteaQueen > I have no idea, and I really don’t care, but just get out of there!!

TheBubbleteaQueen > no one’s near you that’s alive, right??

weebpyromania > no not that I know of there is literally a ring of fire closing in on the tree

TheBubbleteaQueen > at least Matthew’s never gonna let you do this again! Why would you even consider a game like this??

weebpyromania > Technically Czech made it up

TheBubbleteaQueen > not Iggy?

weebpyromania > He's Literally my second dad not everything made by him is to kill me stop worrying

weebpyromania > admittedly his methods of raising and actually getting me were questionable BUT

weebpyromania > idk he did fine I guess

TheBubbleteaQueen > at least you burned half his house down, right?

weebpyromania > Of course

weebpyromania > You don’t know how dizzy I’m getting from breathing all of this smoke like how am I gonna die burning or inhalation of toxic gasses vote on your phones now

TheBubbleteaQueen > being honest here, the gasses.

TheBubbleteaQueen > when brows had his burning witches phase (although he should have burned more than once tbh) most of them died bc of the fumes not the flames themselves

weebpyromania > Oh, cool trivia 

weebpyromania > Uh ok no I am not ok with literally watching EMil get slow cooked what the fuck is this traumatic experience how did this fire backfire so badLY

TheBubbleteaQueen > ice is melting?

weebpyromania > Not the fucking time

TheBubbleteaQueen > shouldn’t you be, i don’t know, climbing the tree to get away from the fumes?

weebpyromania > Are you stupid

weebpyromania > FUMES RISE THEY’RE GAS HAVE YOU NOT BEEN NEAR MY HOUSE AT ALL 99%OF THE SKY IS JUST SMOG

TheBubbleteaQueen > yeah but it’s a bit cooler at least, right?? 

weebpyromania > I’ve accepted my fate

weebpyromania > Do me a favor tell Yao, Kiku, Li, Im Yong (and whoever else I’m forgetting IDK we have a big family) I’m dead and when you find my body I need a new phone

TheBubbleteaQueen > but you’ll lose your data though!

weebpyromania > The cloud exists for numerous reasons

weebpyromania > Ok honestly I can’t focus and it smells really awful here I have a bad headache uh if you hear from anyone else that the fire cleared out look for my body

TheBubbleteaQueen > It might be easier to die if you faint so you don’t feel it…

TheBubbleteaQueen > just… just saying, that’s all

TheBubbleteaQueen > you don’t need to but… it would help

TheBubbleteaQueen > Leon? You there?

TheBubbleteaQueen > Leon? It’s been two minutes since you texted me back

TheBubbleteaQueen > I really hope you just fainted and the fire cleared out and you just wake up without dying but that won’t happen

TheBubbleteaQueen > I hope you really don’t mind burning while you’re dead

 

TheBubbleteaQueen >> has left the conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mei is a smol bab.


	17. In which Denapple is jealous and it's the death of him and oh yeah Lukas suffers too i guess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is why friends with benefits are supposed to stay completely friends with benefits AND NOT actually fall in love. Damn. Honestly I wanna write a happy chapter for Den at some point bc he gets REALLY deep in this one so there's that.

Vikingking >> added AxesAndAsses to the conversation

 

AxesAndAsses > It’s been a week hi how have you beennn

Vikingking > not good

Vikingking > yeah any tips on surviving with murderous friends when a certain couple is out to kill you?

AxesAndAsses > Ok wait take it back just a second whAT HAPPENED WHERE WERE YOU and where is Ice like only half of us are home?! Where did you even go?

Vikingking > promise you won’t freak out or anything? Den, you can’t start smashing things after this, okay?

AxesAndAsses > Ok ok honestly I am the definition of freaking out but what happened

Vikingking > to start with the calmer news, i’m in a nation hunger games with my closest friends and three of them are already dead.

AxesAndAsses > Hurts me that I’m not there aren’t we friends

Vikingking > it’s a stupid skype group chat 

AxesAndAsses > As I was saying, truly offended and hurt,

Vikingking > want to know the dead?

AxesAndAsses > ok sure

Vikingking > Arthur, Leon, and, well… Ice

AxesAndAsses > Ok how did you let Emil die? He’s never died before this is horrible how did he die

Vikingking > He, uh… well… he was shot in the chest with a bow and arrow by Arthur and then burned in the fire HK set to kill Arthur and avenge Ice so... yeah

AxesAndAsses > Wait so he feels the pain of all the ppl who were shot with an arrow AND the ppl who were burned waIT WHAT

Vikingking > I’m really not sure. It was the arrow that took him, not the fire. His body got seriously charred though. I’d make an ice pun, but…

AxesAndAsses > You know it’s not the time for joking around when I’m not teasing you so yeah

AxesAndAsses > Wait what about his friend he died in the fire too?

Vikingking > yeah, but everything cleared out.

AxesAndAsses > How did that even clear out

Vikingking > we’re in Canada

Vikingking > there’s a blizzard rn

AxesAndAsses > OH ok makes sense

Vikingking > Want me to send a pic, or…?

AxesAndAsses > Ok sure

Vikingking > emilsfate.jpg

AxesAndAsses > Well that’s not something I want to see in particular… Oh my god that’s kinda...ugh… Ok he doesn’t even look human anymore to be honest

Vikingking > he’s gonna need to vent abt that when he wakes up

Vikingking > other than that’s its been quiet for a few days

AxesAndAsses > Hello? It’s been a few minutes are you still there Lukas? Are you ok?

Vikingking > she strung him up

AxesAndAsses > Who diD WHAT ARE YOU OK

Vikingking > that bitch strung him up

Vikingking > liz

Vikingking > hung

Vikingking > Vladimir

AxesAndAsses > Oh uh is this a bad time or do you need to vent I’m here

Vikingking > she pushed him off in front of me and then she dropped dead!

Vikingking > I couldn’t even kill her myself!!

AxesAndAsses > Jesus CHrist chill ok he’s gonna come back. Why do you feel that strong abt him anyways you’re the only one there not in an actual couple

Vikingking > hanging was his phobia! Now he’s going to live out that phobia until he comes back! I cut him down and got him loose so he doesn't wake up and hang himself again, but still!!

AxesAndAsses > Look I really think you’re overreacting just a little bit

Vikingking > he would act the same if I died! Mainly if I drowned!

AxesAndAsses > You’re not gonna drown. You’re gonna be fine. What happened was bad but please don’t let that affect you to the extent that you can’t function

AxesAndAsses > Let me put it this way: if you wait around just a bit longer you’re gonna die too, and his death would just be in vain because the whole point of coming out there was to win. 

Vikingking > you don’t understand. I checked Liz’s phone. She was texting with czech, and…

Vikingking > well…

Vikingking > they wanted to wipe out the rest of the trio

Vikingking > they wanted to wipe me off the list

AxesAndAsses > Do you think this whole thing was a good idea

AxesAndAsses > I mean she’s honestly a horrible person to do something like that but would your friend do something like that on purpose? Hold on, did you guys even think about when you got back and what kind of strain there would be on your friendship?

Vikingking > we were fine when Alistair killed Arthur about a week ago, so we’re alright with this kind of thing.

AxesAndAsses > Why would Liz take advantage of your weaknesses in that sort of way though?

Vikingking > she and Vlad hate each other like you wouldn’t believe

Vikingking > I really have no idea what I did though

AxesAndAsses > I really don’t think this was a good idea. Maybe you should come home. It would be safer for you anyways.

Vikingking > I’ve died before, its nothing new to me. I’ll be fine, even… even if I drown.

AxesAndAsses > You’re completely sure you’re going to be ok? I really don’t think you should stay there. Please just come home. Bring your friend. Just don’t do anything stupid because for once I don’t want to be the one who watches that happen

Vikingking > You won’t need to. I’ll be fine. I promise.

Vikingking > Though at this point, he’s more than a friend.

AxesAndAsses > ..oh. Ok. Well uh make sure not to do anything dumb and come back safe. Put yourself first please.

Vikingking > My partner, my brother, and my trio are gone, so I have no one else to put first.

AxesAndAsses > Think less about the vengeance of others and all that and just try to survive until you can come back home, then we can worry about all of that.

Vikingking > It should only be six more days.

AxesAndAsses > Ok, I’ll hopefully text or talk to you soon.

Vikingking > I need to go, Czech might be coming and blame me for Liz.

AxesAndAsses > Bye.

 

Vikingking >> has left the conversation

 

AxesAndAsses > ..I miss you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok but Metta is a sucker for angst and death while Trash is a sucker for romance and pining so the result is horrible. 
> 
> We feel fucking horrible for making Denapple suffer. he deserves better.. But hey, we're horrible people so.. Anyways, we promise there's a logical reason for all of this which we swear will be revealed soon. The best part about this fic is it could get really deep one day and like in a week we could be back to doing what we did before
> 
> Update: Admin Trash finally filed this under major character death :))


	18. In Which Czech Makes Slovakia Help Her Cheat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So here's what happens when your brother both loves you and is sick of your shit. The one time Slovakia decides to take a sensible route at problem-solving, Czech shoots it down.

Thespaqueen >> added freshaslovakiado to the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > Um… Slovakia haha my dude this is gonna be awkward to say but

thespaqueen > I need your help and I need to vent and I need advice

thespaqueen > Please tell me you’re online

Freshaslovakiado > just in shock that you’re asking for help and all

Freshaslovakiado > what’s up tho?

Thespaqueen > Ok so I told you about the couples hunger games thing when Liz slept over right

Freshaslovakiado > yeah why?

thespaqueen > It took a dark turn fast. Me and Liz first had the idea not to kill anyone (i convinced her killing Vlad wasn’t going to be worth it) but…

thespaqueen > I’m almost sure Vlad and his friends had memorized spells the night before and cheated by casting a spell on Liz where she couldn’t eat or drink.

thespaqueen > Are you following the story?

Freshaslovakiado > yeah, but Lukas or Arthur wouldn’t do that.

thespaqueen > I bet, but Lukas certainly wasn’t opposed to it because he didn’t undo shit or even tell vlad not to. he just watched.

thespaqueen > I don’t know how he’d just let Vlad do something like that. Over the days, Liz slowly lost her strength. She said she was used to not eating for long amounts of time, but with the amount of physical activity she just couldn’t handle it. Eventually, we decided to go after Vlad and… since he decided to kill Liz in the way she feared most, we decided to do the same thing to him. We hung him in the middle of a snowstorm. Rather, Liz said she wanted the satisfaction of doing it herself. It was the last thing she would do, since afterwards she fell from the tree. She didn’t feel herself hit the ground, and just like that, she died.

Freshaslovakiado > I got a text from Den earlier today, he spoke to Lukas.

Freshaslovakiado > Lukas watched Vlad die.

thespaqueen > Serves the asshole right. How could he just let this happen? He knew the significance behind that, and he KNEW we said no torture. We even made an agreement to share our fears so that nothing too horrible would happen. But no. Of course, Vlad had to just do bad shit anyways. And Lukas just went along with it like it was ok.

Freshaslovakiado > Lukas read your chats, he knows you want to drown him. I know he didn’t memorize any spells for the occasion, but…

Freshaslovakiado > well, he knows a few offhand

freshaslovakiado > Den did try to convince him, and he said he was fine, but he’ll try to kill you.

thespaqueen > Let him. I don’t give a shit anymore.

thespaqueen > I can’t believe this ended so badly. Am I never gonna hear the end of this from you or is it serious enough for even you to let go of

Freshaslovakiado > listen, it’ll blow over. Yeah, it's gonna be chaos between you and your friends for a while, but it’ll blow over.

Freshaslovakiado > it always does.

Freshaslovakiado > who else died? Is Feliks alright?

thespaqueen > As far as I know of he’s not dead yet. I know that Emil, Leon, Vlad, and Liz died. I promise I’ll expand the list to include Lukas.

Freshaslovakiado > Look, Adélá, I get it. I know you’re angry, I know you want revenge for Elizaveta, and I know it’s gonna end with only one of you standing.

Freshaslovakiado > You can try, but you can’t beat him. He can kill you with a flick of his wrist and a few words.

Freshaslovakiado > Here’s the thing: he won’t. He’ll make you suffer through it all, and knowing him, he might even smile.

Thespaqueen > ...Surprised you know so much about my friends from the things I tell you about them. I’m pretty sure the rule for no torture was put into place, but clearly a week in and that’s over with.

Freshaslovakiado > Stay away from him. Run if you can. Go down fighting if you must. But please, don’t look for him.

thespaqueen > How would you know about this anyways?? These aren’t people you’re that close with. I know them and I know that I can take him if I try. Granted, it’ll have disastrous effects, but.. I don’t mind much at this point.

Freshaslovakiado > I’m close with Den and Fin, and Sve and I talk every once in awhile. They’re the ones closest to him, and when Den told them about all of this and Sve told the other Nordics that Emil was dead, well, they told me what Lukas was like when all of this happened.

Freshaslovakiado > He’s one of the people who will stand by you until you do something behind their back. Then, well, he’ll do anything in his power to make you pay for what you’ve done.

thespaqueen > In all honesty, not to be immateur, but HE STARTED IT. Well no not really but he didn’t do anything to stop the unfair things that were happening.

Freshaslovakiado > I heard from Lukas that certain spells can only be undone by the caster. He may not have been able to do anything even if he wanted to. Besides, it isn’t his job to stop Vladimir from doing things like that.

thespaqueen > I wish I knew if he was more mad about what I said to Liz in the chat we had going or what Liz did to Vlad. If the latter is the case, he’S GUILTY OF THE SAME THING I AM.

Freshaslovakiado > Czech, he didn’t know a damn thing!

Freshaslovakiado > They got separated and next thing he knows is that Vladimir and Elizaveta are dead!

Freshaslovakiado > Two wrongs have never in history made a right, and we should know.

thespaqueen > Be quiet! Since when were you the sensible one? I don't know why I’m even asking you for advice, the brother who literally sides with a friend of his friend instead of his own sister.

Freshaslovakiado > Fine. I say this as your brother, and only as that.

Freshaslovakiado > Lukas won’t stop until one of you drops. I don’t want to see you hurt anymore than you already have been, alright? Is that any better?

thespaqueen > Stop patronizing me. How about this: I’ll go after Lukas, and that’s it. That’s all. I can’t believe you’re defending him. He’s clearly not in the right, and the fact that you can’t see that tells me enough. I don’t know why I’d talk to my dumb brother about this anyways. Do me a favor, tell Lukas’s stupid family that he’s gonna come back to them in such a bad state it’ll take him months to open his eyes and another month to move again.

Freshaslovakiado > What do you have that he doesn’t? Czech, I don’t want you to die.

thespaqueen > I don’t care if it’s one or none of us left standing, but one of us has to go.

Freshaslovakiado > Do you know what he’ll say? He’ll say that it was your fault Emil was killed, that it was your fault Vladimir was hung, that this game was your idea in the first place, and that there will be one more death before the game is over. 

thespaqueen > It’s going to be him. Stop trying to be logical about this, At some point your high horse is irrelevant.

Freshaslovakiado > But your life isn’t! Death isn’t something nations aim for.

thespaqueen > He’d be a liar to say half of the things that you mentioned and you know it. How low do you think he is since you ARE the one defending him?

Freshaslovakiado > For once in your damn life, listen to me! He’s broken! One of his closest friends shot his brother, his significant other was killed in the worst way possible, and no one else is reaching him! Can’t you see that?! No, he’s not in “the right”, but neither are you! He's probably not even mentally stable at this point! Oh, and not to mention he has magic on his side! I know you hate him right now, but consider the facts for a moment!

thespaqueen > WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM? That’s right, nothing. your point means nothing to this argument. Look, if you want to be useful for once, just tell me how I can beat him instead of telling me that I can’t.

Freshaslovakiado > You want to beat him? Fine. Die trying.

Freshaslovakiado > I know how you can weaken him at least, and maybe, just maybe, you can take him down.

thespaqueen > So get off your high horse and tell me instead of spouting this “two wrongs don’t make a right” bullshit.

Freshaslovakiado > ...Fine. Getting his head underwater will make him panic, so if you hold him down with enough force, he’s gone. Getting him underwater is the difficult part.

Freshaslovakiado > If you can, aim for the back of his head where it meets his neck. His weakness is that he has a tendency to leave that unprotected.

Freshaslovakiado > If you can silence him or get his hands tied he’s all but defenseless. I just hope it doesn’t come to that. He knows his weaknesses, so he’ll stay above the ground. Levitating. He’s good at that. He might throw you into the air in effort to kill you because of a fall in a tribute to Vladimir, so stay near tall, branchy trees.

thespaqueen > Ok, thank you. Was that really so hard to tell me?

Freshaslovakiado > Yes!

Freshaslovakiado > Why can’t you just avoid him and you can talk about this calmly after all of this is over?

thespaqueen > You’re not in my situation. Shut your mouth about this pacifist nonsense.

Freshaslovakiado > Czech, do you know why I’m trying so hard in this? It’s because, news flash, I am the sensible one in sticky situations like this. You just never seem to listen.

Freshaslovakiado > Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried. Oh, I’ve tried. You just never get off your “high horse”, as you put it, to listen!

Freshaslovakiado > I’m not on a side. I don’t want anyone else to die, that’s all. Is that too much to ask?

thespaqueen > Well people have died, news flash. In a situation where you and your friend literally are pitted against each other and are ready to kill each other, there’s no room for diplomacy. You can’t just sit aside because “ugh, muh feelings.” I have to avenge Liz, and he has to avenge Vlad. He couldn’t kill Liz. He’s going to try to do the next best thing and kill me. I can’t kill him, according to you. But I haven’t tried yet. That’s going to be that. Maybe afterwards, I’ll try to save who I can and help Feliks survive because I actually care about him.

Freshaslovakiado > He… he only knows your fear of throwing knives and daggers. He doesn’t know your fighting style or your weaknesses besides that. Hell, I don’t even know them myself.

thespaqueen > Quite honestly, I’m not sure I remember them. It’s been such a long time.

Freshaslovakiado > Then just take an hour to practice before you do anything. 

Freshaslovakiado > I know I can’t stop you, and I know you can’t win, but if anything…

Freshaslovakiado > Give him hell, sis.

Freshaslovakiado > GIve him hell.

 

Freshaslovakiado >> has left the conversation

 

thespaqueen > You know I will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha... I'm going to hell. I don't think anyone is reading this anymore, I think we scared everyone off tbh


	19. In Which The ...Nordic Three? Are Enlightened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit in different languages towards the end. At the bottom of the story page, there will be translations.

AxesAndAsses >> added svedone and hohoholyshit to the conversation

 

AxesAndAsses > Guys it’s been two days and Lukas promised he’d text back but he still hasn’t. Do you think he’s ok?

Svedone > I know how he gets when things like this happen. Physically, he must be. Mentally? Not so much I’m afraid.

AxesAndAsses > I know what happened I’m the one who told you. But... We’re his family and this isn’t like him.

Hohoholyshit > It was eight days before we got anything from him, maybe he just doesn't have time to text?

Svedone > He would have time if he was fine.

AxesAndAsses > That’s my point. What could’ve happened to him? He does have magic, so I can only assume he could fight off the others pretty well??

Svedone > He’s broken probably. He wouldn't fend them off. He would look for them.

Hohoholyshit > Wow this already sounds like a dumb idea why would anyone play this again?

Svedone > Oh it was Czech’s idea.

AxesAndAsses > Well she already demonstrated what a horrible person she is. Honestly, Lukas said he was gonna try to find and attack her. Whatever she gets, she deserves.

Hohoholyshit > Do you know both sides of the story?

AxesAndAsses > I don't need to. Me and Slovakia have been texting back and forth about this, should I add him?

Svedone > You should.

 

AxesAndAsses >> added freshaslovakiado to the conversation

 

Freshaslovakiado > I just read the chat, and yeah, I do know the other side. I just got it maybe an hour ago.

Hohoholyshit > See? Let’s listen to what he has to say!

AxesAndAsses > That Czech is a terrible person? We know.

Svedone > Mathias, let him talk.

Freshaslovakiado > Elizaveta is dead, you should know that by now.

AxesAndAsses > Rightfully may I add

Svedone > What else?

Freshaslovakiado > Lukas was there when Vladimir cast the spell to prevent her from eating or drinking. Adéla felt that he didn’t do anything to stop her death when he knew she had a phobia of starvation.

AxesAndAsses > OH PLEASE

AxesAndAsses > “I have a phobia of dying,, muh triggerzzz,, Oh no I better emotionally wreck someone completely uninvolved as a result,,”

Freshaslovakiado > hey hey she’s still my sister.

Freshaslovakiado > While Liz was slowly dying, the two decided to kill the person who basically killed Liz in the worst way: hanging him. That is his worst fear, after all. He’ll feel the pain of anyone sent to hang in his country, and if he wakes up, he’ll just end up inherently hanging to death again.

AxesAndAsses > Quick interjection again! Lukas went through torture too because of this stupid little stunt. He was the one who watched Vlad die, and the one who cut him down and made sure his body was safe. After all of the shit going on, he stuck out his neck (no pun intended) to make sure that this person, who wasn’t even worth it, was going to be ok. 

Svedone > Ok, I get that. Just why did they both get bloodthirsty about this though? They’ll come back, and they’re even now! Besides, Lukas and Czech didn’t actually kill anyone, so…

Freshaslovakiado > I tried to talk to her, alright? She wouldn’t listen. She never does even when she knows I’m right.

AxesAndAsses > Well Lukas for sure has the right to be angry, she killed someone uh

AxesAndAsses > Someone very important to him.

Hohoholyshit > I would normally get really excited about our friend finding love but this doesn’t seem like a good time

AxesAndAsses > Nooo I didn’t realize

Svedone > What else did you tell her? Please let that be it and be done with it.

Freshaslovakiado > I told her everything. 

AxesAndAsses > Wait

AxesAndAsses > Did you really tell her 

AxesAndAsses > How to kill him

 

AxesAndAsses >> removed Freshaslovakiado from the conversation

 

AxesAndAsses > This isn’t right

Hohoholyshit > I know that Lukas is family in all but add Slovakia back I have a few words to say to him if you would be so kind

Svedone > He can still get to Czech. I wouldn’t, he might tell her more. Tino, don’t make us an enemy we don’t need. For Lukas’s sake, don’t.

Svedone > That’s all I ask.

AxesAndAsses > Uh buddy it’s kinda too late

AxesAndAsses > I may or may not have just messaged him to fuck off and burn in the pits of hell and that he’s a horrible piece of cheating shit

Svedone > We can’t do much more damage than that, so… fuck it. Add the cheating bastard.

AxesAndAsses > Fin you do it

 

Hohoholyshit >> added freshaslovakiado to the conversation

 

Hohoholyshit > I didn’t have the chance to say a few words to you. 

hohoholyshit > Kuuntele tästä paskaksi, tiedätte hemmetin hyvin, että Tšekki oli väärässä . Tietenkin te tyhmä perse päättää "Hei, Haluan vain antaa kuoleman, joka on täysin epäoikeudenmukaista!"

Svedone > Du fusk jävel Jag hoppas att du njuta av det faktum att du bara ensam dödade vår bror som gjorde inget för att skada dig. Du bör ha hållit din fett käften och gick tillbaka till helvetet där du kom. Jag bryr mig inte ett dugg om dig och din tik av en syster. Du kan starta ett krig över detta, jag har resten av Skandinavien att backa upp mig. Kom på mig, men den här gången, jag vet vad som väntar från skit som du är.

AxesAndAsses > Af alle de mennesker i denne dumme konkurrence , du beslutter, at det ville være en god idé at målrette Lukas . Du fortæller den én person i øjeblikket ude for hans blod al sin svaghed , og efter at vi sætter vores lid til dig. Jeg håber virkelig, at i sidste ende , får du to gange , hvad der sker med Lukas nu . Hvor han er , det er din skyld , at hans liv er nu i fare . Og det var alt sammen på grund af nogle dumme fejde mellem Vlad ikke værd Lukas tid og Elizaveta muligvis definitionen af kræft . Du min ven , er den største røvhul til at gå på jorden.

Freshaslovakiado > I have no idea what the fuck the three of you just said, but I really don’t blame you for any of it. I did get one thing from Sve’s though. I know you have the rest of Scandinavia to back you up, and believe me, it wouldn’t be my place to start anything.

Freshaslovakiado > I just want to say I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t make up for anything, and I know it doesn’t help you at all, but it does help me cope with it a bit.

Freshaslovakiado > Je nám ľúto, keby to malo znamenať niečo pre teba.

 

Freshaslovakiado >> has left the conversation

\--------------------------------------------------  
Translations:

Slovakia: Sorry, if it means anything to you

Fin: Listen to this you shit, you know damn well that the Czech was in the wrong. Of course, you, being the dumb ass you are, decide, "Hey, I just want to kill you, which is totally unfair!" Fuck you.

Sve: You cheating bastard I hope you enjoy the fact that you just alone killed our brother who did nothing to harm you. You should have kept your fat mouth shut and went back to hell where you came from. I do not care a damn about you and your bitch of a sister. You can start a war over this, I have the rest of Scandinavia to back me up. Come at me, but this time, I know what to expect from shit that you are. 

Den: Of all the people in this stupid competition, you decide that it would be a good idea to target Lukas. You tell the one person currently out for his blood his weaknesses, and after that we put our trust in you. I really hope that in the end , you get twice what happens with Lukas now. Wherever he is , it's your fault that his life is now in danger. And it was all because of some silly feud between Vlad-not worth Lukas’s time- and Elizaveta- possibly the definition of cancer. You, my friend, are the biggest asshole to walk on earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For just a dollar a day you can fund the slow and painful slaughter of Denmark. - Trash
> 
> No really though, this is really horrible and I scared y'all off lmao at this point this has gone off to such a tangent and I promise that fairly soon we'll be back to our regularly scheduled shitposting.


	20. In Which Belarus Lowkey Terrifies Czech

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trash finally convinced Metta that we were long due for a chapter without so much bad stuff but we still slightly advanced the plot.

Thefabulouspolska >> added AestheticallyStabU to the conversation

 

AestheticallyStabU > what’s up?

Thefabulouspolska > Ok, so Natalya I have updates on the game thing if you still care about your best friend’s well-being

AestheticallyStabU > Yeah, what do you have?

thefabulouspolska > Ok so we have a new member of our team you remember my sister right

AestheticallyStabU > Czech? I remember her, she isn’t that bad actually.

thefabulouspolska > The one who’s slightly terrified of you,,

thefabulouspolska > Yeah she’s on our team now and apparently she killed someone so that’s news

AestheticallyStabU > wait wait what? How did she kill someone? I didn’t think she could hurt a fly if she tried, being honest.

thefabulouspolska > tbh she really can’t but she somehow drowned Lukas I don’t even know how 

thefabulouspolska > And apparently the dick cursed her and she’s slowly being paralyzed so that’s also some news,, And she’s in pain so that’s ALSO news,, but she’s alive so that’s good 

AestheticallyStabU > Didn’t you say there was no magic allowed so the trio couldn’t win from the start?

thefabulouspolska > I also said there were no phones allowed but here we are now

AestheticallyStabU > true.

AestheticallyStabU > But really, Lukas wouldn’t cheat. Who did what and when?

thefabulouspolska > Oh boi storytime fun sit back and listen child

thefabulouspolska > eheEMM

thefabulouspolska > Czech killed Lukas after Liz killed Vlad bc Vlad cursed Liz so she couldnt eat or drink and Vlad died and Liz died and after the curse Lukas sat and watched so Czech decided she was gonna kill him bc he helped in a way by not doing anything and he wanted to kill her bc she plotted to kill vlad in the first place and then she killed him and now Czech is here with us so thereS THAT

thefabulouspolska > That was slightly mixed up but you catch my drift right

AestheticallyStabU > Ha absolutely (not)

thefabulouspolska > I’ll forward you the chat later IDK wanna just talk to her

AestheticallyStabU > Alright, sure. Add her. 

 

thefabulouspolska >> added thespaqueen to the conversation

 

thespaqueen > Ok um new phone who dis

thefabulouspolska > She knows it’s you 

thespaqueen > fuck hi Natalya

AestheticallyStabU > maybe you got whatever Feliks said, but… what happened out there?

thespaqueen > Ok uh so Czech killed Lukas after Liz killed Vlad bc Vlad cursed Liz so she couldnt eat or drink and Vlad died and Liz died and after the curse Lukas sat and watched so Czech decided she was gonna kill him bc he helped in a way by not doing anything and he wanted to kill her bc she plotted to kill vlad in the first place and then she killed him and now Czech is here with us so thereS THAT - I don’t feel like rephrasing what he said

AestheticallyStabU > give me a sec here

AestheticallyStabU > So the vampire and Liz are dead, and you two got mad bc you each played a part in their deaths? And so you fought and Lukas lost?

thefabulouspolska > Are you just playing dumb or do you just not get the same stuff as long as it comes out of my mouth

AestheticallyStabU > tbh I don’t get what you say that much sometimes.

thefabulouspolska > Reasons my friends don’t answer me: they’re not on my level

AestheticallyStabU > oh please I need to dumb down some things I tell you so you can understand them.

thespaqueen > Ok well I’m just gonna go now.. 

thefabulouspolska > No no hold on I need you to translate what I say to her this is a game changer, a breakthrough,

AestheticallyStabU > Just gonna ignore that,, Czech how did the battle go? I mean, I know the outcome but what was the fight like? How did you even beat Lukas thou??

thespaqueen > The fight was honestly one of the things I will regret most in,, aa who am I kidding not really

thespaqueen > Well it went just swell I tried to not fall to my death and he did the black magic-y stuff and long story short it hurts to move at all and my legs currently stopped working and now I can’t feel them so.. I guess they don’t really hurt anymore??

thespaqueen > No but in all seriousness he was flinging a lot of ice at me it wasn’t fun. And I was all floaty for a while and he had this kinda creepy glow around him and I cut him up with his own icicles and drowned him, I don’t know how else to put it. Then Feliks saw me fall down in the distance and I kinda freaking crawled over to their camp with none of their help thank you very much,

thespaqueen > I don’t even know why he was sitting by such a conveniently placed lake like should I just have run maybe he was luring me on purpose

AestheticallyStabU > he’s good at that sort of thing, but I really don’t get why he didn’t just send a killing curse your way when he saw you had the upper hand

thespaqueen > I don’t know this seems really odd but he’s dead so 

AestheticallyStabU > nice job, most people can’t take him out when he’s one with his power and all. I tried once. It didn’t end well for me.

thespaqueen > I’m not even gonna ask tbh

thefabulouspolska > On Czech’s resume written in Lukas’s blood: I killed him am I hired

AestheticallyStabU > not surprised

thespaqueen > Yeah no why does that seem like something I’d do

thefabulouspolska > I dare you

thespaqueen > Ok I wouldn’t actually

thefabulouspolska > You’re a dirty liar

AestheticallyStabU > a dirty liar that took down Lukas I’m honestly amazed and shocked but proud

thespaqueen > I pro’ly shouldn’t brag but dag I amaze and astonish,

thefabulouspolska > How about saving it for when we aren’t literally in the middle of the freezing snow in the middle of a forest in Canada and can die at any moment

AestheticallyStabU > you know I thought I was the only nation besides Alfred who liked Hamilton but

AestheticallyStabU > I’m honestly really happy about this right now

thefabulouspolska > Adéla,

thespaqueen > No

thefabulouspolska > Can we keep her

thespaqueen > no,

thefabulouspolska > She’s perfect for the group chat though,

thespaqueen > I repeat, no

AestheticallyStabU > I really don’t want to be in it if you guys started the 76th hunger games tbh

thespaqueen > It’s technically the 77th since the Capital had one of their own which the districts started at the end of the book

AestheticallyStabU > wait they did? Huh. since they had to kill their kids for so long, you would think that it wouldn’t happen because too many memories, but… nah fuck it

thespaqueen > That’s my kind of pettiness 

thefabulouspolska > C’mon pleaaaase join

thespaqueen > I’m voting no and she’s voting no majority wins

AestheticallyStabU > actually this seems okay as long as I don’t piss off Lukas too much

thespaqueen > YEAH UM IM GOOD THANKS I JUST HAVE A VERY SLIGHT FEAR OF BOTH THROWING KNIVES AND KNIVES IN GENERAL,

thespaqueen > Oh anD YOU.

thefabulouspolska > C’mon she's not that bad

AestheticallyStabU > C’mon, she doesn’t need the dumb one in the chat to explain that.

thespaqueen > Ok but unless he’s cool with someone calling him dumb besides his own sister,,

thefabulouspolska > Chill like she’s actually a really good friend right up there with Hungary and we all know how you two managed to uh get along

thespaqueen > We aren’t talking about her at this moment

AestheticallyStabU > Didn’t you guys fuck to Steven Universe or something? Feliks, you were saying that, right?

thefabulouspolska > Ok but when I tell you things

thefabulouspolska > I’m not asking you to tell the person we’re talking about

thefabulouspolska > It’s basic gossip and banter 101,,

thespaqueen > THis is why we can’t have nice things

AestheticallyStabU > oh please he tells me all about what happens in these chats

AestheticallyStabU > though the friends w/ benifits deal did surprise me.

thespaqueen > Yeah really tho Lukas is just FULL OF SURPriSeS

thespaqueen > Why are we talking about this I just told you like a minute ago that I brutally murdered him

thespaqueen > #TRIgGerEdZZ

thefabulouspolska > How many tumblr jokes did we make this week

AestheticallyStabU > don’t even try to count.

AestheticallyStabU > on a separate note,

thespaqueen > wait have you and Natalya just texted the entirety of this game does Toris even know

thespaqueen > Or is he in these chats too

thespaqueen > Oh I beT SLOVAKIA IS IN THESE TOO

thespaqueen > I bet even freaking Yekaterina is in these and I’m the one person left out

AestheticallyStabU > yeah uh no

AestheticallyStabU > on a separate note,

AestheticallyStabU > explain wtf happened all those centuries ago with the brit

AestheticallyStabU > Who hurt you

thespaqueen > Don’t act like you don’t know

AestheticallyStabU > bad day, huh?

thespaqueen > Why is she so sarcastic I hate her,

AestheticallyStabU > why are you so salty

thefabulouspolska > Yeah like really

thespaqueen > I learn from the best Feliks please explain

thespaqueen > Why are YOU so salty??

thefabulouspolska > Boo How was that such a horrible comeback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is ALL over the place


	21. In which Feliks is stuborn and Toris uselessly texts in the middle of a moment of need

Trafficliet >> added TheBalticNordic and Raivisg to the conversation

 

trafficliet > Raivis, Eduard, did you two happen to receive an email from anyone about the games?

Thebalticnordic > I don’t remember any, but I might just have deleted it.

Raivisg > Don’t think so, why? Did something happen? You weren’t hurt, were you?

trafficliet > No, I’m fine. Feliks sent out a mass email to everyone asking if they happened to have the ability to get to a spellbook or something.

Thebalticnordic > My dropbox took it as spam, that’s why I couldn’t find it.

Raivisg > Would we even be able to use it though? We can’t do anything magic, so why would that even work? Wait, would it?

trafficliet > I’m not sure, but Feliks is bent on getting to a certain spell to fix a little predicament Czech got herself into.

Thebalticnordic > What did she do this time…

trafficliet > So she was in a fight with Lukas and won. Surprising, I know. But before he died, he cast a spell on her which would slowly paralyze her. She now can’t move anywhere but the chest and above.We weren’t very worried until we realized that her heart or brain could stop at any given moment now, and that means that we have to get to a reversal spell.

Raivisg > Not to crush any last hopes or anything, but…

Raivisg > The thing about that is the power of that spell. Lukas needs to be the one to undo it.

Trafficliet > I have a feeling he already knows that. He’s being stubborn, and I guess I can understand where he’s coming from.

Thebalticnordic > I could just see if you can say something in latin to reverse it, though. We might get lucky.

Raivisg > Ok, is Arthur still alive?

trafficliet > We haven’t seen or heard from him, so I can’t say for sure.

Raivisg > Do you if anyone from that trio is still alive?

trafficliet > Um.. Vlad and Lukas are both dead, and again I’m not sure about Arthur.

Raivisg > Well then. Czech really isn’t okay if that’s the case. Sorry about that.

trafficliet > I’m already sure Feliks knows that, and by now Adéla’s already accepted what’s going to happen. He’s just stubborn.

Thebalticnordic > That’s no lie.

Raivisg > Not the best time, Eduard. 

trafficliet > Well, if he won’t listen to anyone else tell him it’s impossible, he’ll just have to figure that out himself. 

Thebalticnordic > Let him try then, if it makes him feel any better.

trafficliet > At this point, he’s not even taking into consideration the fact that he’s stressing out his own sister, but I digress. It’s frustrating to know that he doesn’t listen to anyone but himself.

Thebalticnordic > ...How fast is it spreading?

trafficliet > She was cursed three days ago and it’s already almost done.

Thebalticnordic > She doesn’t have long, Toris. If it’s almost done, then she has a day-- at best.

trafficliet > It’s about two and a half days left of the game, and her fate is pretty much sealed. Technically, she’d stay dead until a few days after the curse is lifted because paralyses prevents her from coming back. Her life is in Lukas’s hands for as long as he desires, and he somehow found a way to put her under his control while he’s dead.

Raivisg > That’s, uh… that’s pretty deep.

Thebalticnordic > After all this is over and Lukas has had his fun and all, Arthur can get him to lift the curse.

trafficliet > Hold on can I text you two in a few minutes, this is important.

trafficliet > Guys, Francis just stumbled into our camp. Feliks took him under our small snow-shelter, but he seems really… Out of it.

Raivisg > What’s he like? He’s not hurt bad, is he?

trafficliet > No, but he clearly hasn’t eaten in more than a few days. He’s shivering from the cold. He’s mumbling things that barely sound like words under his breath.

Thebalticnordic > Can you make out anything that he’s saying? Anything at all?

trafficliet > Some individual words, but I’m not sure if there’s any context to them. “Jean”, “Fire”, “Arthur”, “Burned”, “Gone”, and “Alone” were the only things I could pick up from the ramble. It’s just the same order over and over between gibberish phrases, only quieter each time.

Thebalticnordic > I can’t make heads or tails of that… sorry, Toris.

Raivisg > Guys… Arthur is dead. Jean was the girl that was burned at the stake, remember? The one that Francis, well, fell in love with before Arthur? Jean burned in a fire, she’s gone, and he’s alone. Add Arthur to that… he was killed in a fire.

Thebalticnordic > There goes our last hope for saving Czech.

trafficliet > At this point, that’s the least of our worries.

Thebalticnordic > Can you three do anything? Czech might be able to help while she’s still breathing.

trafficliet > What he needs is rest, warm shelter, and maybe some kind of food. He doesn’t look like those were exactly any of his priorities over the last two weeks or so. Maybe Czech can keep him company, but I doubt that’d help.

Raivisg > How did this even happen? Why would someone set a fire for Arthur anyways?

trafficliet > I wouldn’t know, and I don’t think he’s in any state for us to ask him yet. He looks like he couldn’t be more tired, but his eyes couldn’t be any more angry. He could snap at any minute.

Thebalticnordic > Put out any fires you have going, they would be the first thing to "make him snap". It would be too many memories for him to handle.

trafficliet > We could all freeze without the fires we have going. Maybe our best bet would be just putting out the fire in the small hut he’s staying in at the moment.

Thebalticnordic > That would be best. Make sure there’s one right outside where he can’t see, he can’t freeze to death. Oh, and when Czech finally goes, don’t let him see.

Thebalticnordic > Why would he get like this, though?

trafficliet > Feliks told me that in the chat where the game rules were stated, Francis revealed to everyone that he has an extreme fear of being abandoned and left alone. That probably has some part to do with it.

Raivisg > And since Arthur died in the same was as Jean, that makes it even worse. 

Raivisg > Wait, does Arthur have a fear of fire by any chance? That would break him to where he is now.

trafficliet > Now that you mention it… He does. I have to go and actually go with the plans we came up with, I bet everyone would appreciate it if I put down my phone and helped out. Thank you, and I promise you’ll hear from me soon enough. I’ll be home in two days. Bye.

 

Trafficliet >> has left the conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's two days before the games end...


	22. In Which Francis breaks the news to Alfred and Matthew and they end up arguing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok no but does every other serious chat go off the rails

love&rosesaesthetic >> added pancakesrbetter to the conversation

 

pancakesrbetter > Papa where are you? Are you ok?

love&rosesaesthetic > I’m fine, or as fine as I’ve been for a while.

pancakesrbetter > Wait, what happened? Where are you? I got a few chain messages on my phone about some sort of game but it was only supposed to be a few days!

love&rosesaesthetic > It was two weeks from the start.

pancakesrbetter > I swear someone told me it was a few days. What do you mean you’re just fine what happened?

love&rosesaesthetic > Everyone else started killing each other from day two. Only three of us are left.

pancakesrbetter > Wait, why? Wasn’t it some kind of survival game? I feel like I wasn’t told a lot of details about this thing.

love&rosesaesthetic > Non, we wanted to keep it that way. We knew you wouldn’t allow it. Violence has never been very good with you, and none of us thought it would be taken this far, so…

pancakesrbetter > The fact that you had to lie to me about this is bad enough. How could you even take part in this thing?

love&rosesaesthetic > It seemed like a good idea at the time. We would all have a partner in this so it would balance out, so it seemed fair to us.

 

pancakesrbetter >> added eyebrow&sconeaesthetic to the conversation

 

pancakesrbetter > there! Hi dad!

love&rosesaesthetic > ...he isn’t going to answer

pancakesrbetter > Wait, why?

love&rosesaesthetic > There are only three of us left.

love&rosesaesthetic > Feliks, Toris, and me. 

love&rosesaesthetic > Arthur, well, he…

pancakesrbetter > ...Oh. I’m really sorry. Are you sure you’re ok right now?

love&rosesaesthetic > I’m fine, Mathieu.

love&rosesaesthetic > It’s just that the way he… well… you know…

love&rosesaesthetic > It was the same as someone else, and I just can’t stop seeing her there in his place.

pancakesrbetter > Well… That’s horrible. I don’t know what to say. I’m just really sorry it worked out that way. At least he’s gonna come back soon. Right?

love&rosesaesthetic > Maybe not soon. He was charred badly. Pieces of him had burned into ash. I could see his bone, Mathieu.

pancakesrbetter > I knew something was wrong when I hadn’t heard from you or him in over a week. 

pancakesrbetter > Alfred was blasting both of your phones the whole week and a half, I think he deserves to know what happened if that’s ok with you.

love&rosesaesthetic > You can add him, it would be better if he found out with us.

 

pancakesrbetter >> Added eagle_boy_123 to the conversation

 

Eagle_boy_123 > Hey mattie what’s up?

Eagle_boy_123 > oh god

Eagle_boy_123 > I… I didn’t know and I just… I’m so sorry

love&rosesaesthetic > We thought you should know.

pancakesrbetter > I guess it’s better than not hearing from you at all and not knowing what to think.

love&rosesaesthetic > Alfred, are you alright?

love&rosesaesthetic > Alfred?

Eagle_boy_123 > Yeah, I’m… I’m ok. But did he really, uh…

love&rosesaesthetic > Oui, he died.

Eagle_boy_123 > Not that. I mean, I did hear about a forest fire in canada a bit over a week ago but I didn’t know that was you guys

pancakesrbetter > Yeah plus it wasn’t even the area we agreed on, I didn’t think it was related to this. 

love&rosesaesthetic > Ask Leon.

pancakesrbetter > Leon started it? He should’ve left his stupid firecrackers at home... I told you guys to be careful about that too, what other rules were broken that I should know about?

love&rosesaesthetic > Magic, phones, torture

love&rosesaesthetic > Besides, he had some reason to, but he did almost kill me with his act

love&rosesaesthetic > Arthur did shoot Emil through the heart, and in front of Leon, so…

pancakesrbetter > I don’t know, he could have just, oh I don’t know, used something that would cause mass destruction across my nation. We have rules for a reason…

Eagle_boy_123 > All was peaceful until the fire nation attacked. 

pancakesrbetter > God-fucking-dammit why such an old meme

love&rosesaesthetic > did you just

Eagle_boy_123 > wait did I read that right, or…

love&rosesaesthetic > he just did, didn’t he?

Eagle_boy_123 > I think so…?

Eagle_boy_123 > you think you know a guy, and then that happens

pancakesrbetter > I don’t know why it’s such a big deal

Eagle_boy_123 > you’re canada! You’re the nice one here! You’ve never swore! Ever!

pancakesrbetter> Ehem I swear ALL the time at world meetings

pancakesrbetter > Under my breath

pancakesrbetter > In Canadian-French

love&rosesaesthetic > now it makes sense

love&rosesaesthetic > I’m still shocked, but

Eagle_boy_123 > yeah it still makes no sense wtf mattie

pancakesrbetter > Ok but I can’t tell whether you don’t know that I swear all the time because of it being in a different language (or variation of language) or the fact that you just never listen to me,,

love&rosesaesthetic > just gonna change the subject before Alfred starts crying again, because we all remember that,,

Eagle_boy_123 > fuck u 2 frien

love&rosesaesthetic > same to you pal

pancakesrbetter > I see there was a lot of comforting and kindness proceeding the chat starting with our father’s death,

Eagle_boy_123 > didn’t we make a silent agreement not to bring it up to cheer him up? Brotherly telepathy or something??

pancakesrbetter > That’s just you to be honest I don’t think that twin-telepathy thing even exists tbh  
love&rosesaesthetic > I’m fine, really.

love&rosesaesthetic > Alfred, you did good.

pancakesrbetter > I was almost sure I was your favorite

Eagle_boy_123 > pardon

love&rosesaesthetic > I uh… well, you see… fuck

pancakesrbetter > Yeah aren't you like Arthur’s favorite or something 

love&rosesaesthetic > this has never come up why now

Eagle_boy_123 > still? I pulled some crazy shit on him, if you didn’t know already.

pancakesrbetter > I know but your angsty coming-of-age story moved him like you’re definitely his favorite

Eagle_boy_123 > he got pissed after Hamilton tho until he saw the king

pancakesrbetter > Is it bad the whole time I watched the musical I thought about how George def reminded me of him?

love&rosesaesthetic > I thought he was more like whatever his name was, Oliver or something.

Eagle_boy_123 > Who?

love&rosesaesthetic > Arthur said something about him once, that’s all

pancakesrbetter > Who’s that?

love&rosesaesthetic > he said Oliver wasn’t someone you’d want to meet

pancakesrbetter > I also didn’t want to meet Alfred but here we are today,

Eagle_boy_123 > I didn’t want to share North America with you either pal

pancakesrbetter > It’s got ur name what more do you waNT I have to put up with being called American if I leave the country this is some grade A BS

Eagle_boy_123 > listen Canadia, you should feel proud to be an American because that’s what you really are when you think about it

pancakesrbetter > My name. Is not. Canadia.

love&rosesaesthetic > guys, guys. Don’t start with this.

Eagle_boy_123 > francis this doesn’t concern you

pancakesrbetter > Papa please let us argue,,

Eagle_boy_123 > wait since when do you like argueing? Usually you just step down and let me win without a fight.

love&rosesaesthetic > here we go

pancakesrbetter > Well unlike you, I don’t ever have to win any fights because all of the world’s affairs aren’t mine. Why are you always in other nations’ business,,

Eagle_boy_123 > Why aren’t you? I know you’re the second biggest, so why don’t you start acting like it?

pancakesrbetter > You’re the world’s biggest asshole though

Eagle_boy_123 > I thought that was Pol’s title or something

love&rosesaesthetic > can we not argue about this right now?

pancakesrbetter > PAPA TELL FELIKS WHAT ALFRED SAID NOW 

love&rosesaesthetic > well, I just showed him the phone. Being honest here he just laughed and said ‘nah, that’s definitely Alfred’

pancakesrbetter > Even he knows

love&rosesaesthetic > hey hey we all know that tbh -Pol

love&rosesaesthetic > thank you for that,,

Eagle_boy_123 > oh what’s it like wearing the same outfit for two weeks anyways?

love&rosesaesthetic > horrifying -Pol

love&rosesaesthetic > at this point it’s so ruined I can’t call it the same one

love&rosesaesthetic > I liked it too, it’s a shame really.

pancakesrbetter > Papa the funny thing is you were ready to pack your entire closet 

pancakesrbetter > I get a text two weeks ago at four in the morning, right?

pancakesrbetter > It’s a picture of two shirts and he just asks which one he should bring and I respond “a thick windbreaker jacket” and I honestly think he almost had a heart attack over the phone

Eagle_boy_123 > wait seriously??

Eagle_boy_123 > I believe it, but seriously??

love&rosesaesthetic > Let us not dwell on the past.

pancakesrbetter > Can’t wait for you to get back home so you can yell at Monaco for almost selling away your entire wardrobe,

love&rosesaesthetic > hoLD UP WHAT?! I SWEAR WHEN I FIND THAT LITTLE--

love&rosesaesthetic > WAIT IS IT ALL GONE???

pancakesrbetter > No I said almost sold away like she’s not that great at being sneaky so

love&rosesaesthetic > I need to have a talk with her when I get back

Eagle_boy_123 > as long as you let me watch

love&rosesaesthetic > no

Eagle_boy_123 > come on please?

love&rosesaesthetic > no.

Eagle_boy_123 > Please Francis??

love&rosesaesthetic > do I really need to say it in american?

love&rosesaesthetic > No bro! Seriously though, that’s not cool.

Eagle_boy_123 > I’m horrified

pancakesrbetter > No no continue this I’m def not posting the entire thing for everyone to read on instagram

Eagle_boy_123 > wait wait please tell me you’re not maplekiller101

love&rosesaesthetic > maple… killer?

pancakesrbetter > Wait, who?

Eagle_boy_123 > screenshoting that 

Pancakesrbetter > My acc name is the same as it is on skype, pancakesrbetter. It corresponds to Belgium’s??

pancakesrbetter > Oh yeah Alfred why do you edit me out of your insta photos 

Eagle_boy_123 > I didn’t remember editing you out, maybe you were invisible to the camera too

pancakesrbetter > I swear if you don’t shut up

pancakesrbetter > Or do you ever close your mouth to stop talking garbage and/or eating garbage 99% of the time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning of the day the group leaves, but the impact is clearly not over. Still, another silly chapter end for you guys. 
> 
> Trash as soon as Metta leaves the doc: *pours two metric tons of salt into serious chapter* my job here is done


	23. In Which Matthias has a few words to say about the situation

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> added love&rosesaesthetic, iceicebby, weebpyromania, notavamp, vikingking, thespaqueen, hungaryandhungary, thefabulouspolska, Trafficliet, 3catholic5u, mybrothersavampire, axesandasses and freshaslovakiado to the conversation 

thefabulouspolska > Ok hi question is there oh I dunno a day you’re planning on letting me have my sister back just a question,,,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > what do you mean?

thefabulouspolska > It’s been a week how did you not figure this out yet

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well, this group hasn’t exactly met in a week and Lukas, Vladimir and I haven’t been talking much since then.

trafficliet > Feliks, wasn’t he dead throughout the entire game?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Sadly enough, yes. Oh, and Leon, was that really necessary? 

weebpyromania > Absolutely

weebpyromania > At this point Emil still has a brUISE ON HIS CHEST 

iceicebby > I can speak 4 myself

iceicebby > I’m still not sure how he’d know that haha

iceicebby > ha

love&rosesaesthetic > Leon, you could have burned down half of Canada’s forests with a fire of that size.

weebpyromania > Ok but the forest is huge how did you even get half try like,, maybe 10 trees and it’s only one of the forests anyways

Notavamp > Lukas, what did you do to Czech after I died?

hungaryandhungry > Nothing necessary and in the long run horrible

Vikingking > She killed me, end of story.

love&rosesaesthetic > That’s not what I saw when her group basically saved me.

Vikingking > Fine. I paralyzed her.

hungaryandhungry > You know she can’t come back until whatever tf you did is undone, right?

hungaryandhungry > You were dead three days tops she’s been dead, oh, maybe nine days.

Vikingking > I didn’t break any rules that weren’t broken before.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Lukas, fix this.

axesandasses > I mean she absolutely deserves what happened to her, so

love&rosesaesthetic > Her idea made me see Arthur burn, and it made me watch someone’s death over and over again in my head, and yet I think she should be brought back. So, maybe she doesn’t.

axesandasses > It was. A two person crime you see,, Slovakia helped her cheat, can you paralyze him too??

Freshaslovakiado > It was my sister over someone I barely knew. Who did you think I would choose? 

axesandasses > Oh please, you could have just chosen nobody and let whatever happen happen

Freshaslovakiado > I couldn’t let her die, but look where that got her.

axesandasses > I bet if she didn’t provoke he wouldn’t have killed her

Freshaslovakiado > Do you want me to send you the chat? I never can get her to do anything right, and this time that “talent” of mine didn’t help.

axesandasses > Go on, send me an entire conversation of unfair advantages and manipulation. I can’t believe we even trusted you in the first place.

Freshaslovakiado > I got that from the Danish, Swedish, and Finnish you sent me. Man, and I thought scandinavians couldn’t swear.

Vikingking > Slovakia, I suggest you leave before you make things worse. I think you have a “talent” for that, too.

Freshaslovakiado > Fine, if it gets me out of this.

 

Freshaslovakiado >> has left the conversation

 

3catholic5u > Lukas, unparalyze her.

axesandasses > Don’t

thefabulouspolska > If you could please,

thefabulouspolska > even then she wouldn’t come back until a few days after because she died.

Notavamp > Lukas, please.

Notavamp > This wasn’t supposed to happen, and you know that.

axesandasses > She wasn’t supposed to be cheating either. You know how Lukas was obsessing over your death for days? If he get's revenge on his own death, I don’t really see the problem.

Notavamp > You didn’t play the game.

Vikingking > And you were dead for most of it. How would you even know how the fight went? Her cheating was the only thing that killed me, and so I returned the favor.

Notavamp > If that’s how you feel about it, then fine.

 

Notavamp >> has left the conversation

 

mybrothersavampire > OK WHAT THE heck DID YOU DO TO MY BROTHER THOUGH

Vikingking > Liz hung him, I killed Liz’s teammate and now her life rests in my hands, and he’s upset about all of it.

mybrothersavampire > I still don’t understand where the FUCK liz got the rope from

love&rosesaesthetic > actually, where did you get the rope?

Hungaryandhungary > Czech and I found a china town, you know they’re everywhere, and we got some

hungaryandhungry > because it was totally,, not hidden in my outfit somewhere,, that I was saving for when the time was right because I knew he had magic up his sleeve or anything,,

3catholic5u > …

hungaryandhungry > Well I mean not like I was gonna use it unless absolutely necessary

Vikingking > Right, sure. The texts you two were sending each other tell a different story.

hungaryandhungry > I’m sorry, they took place after you decided to memorize the perfect spell to hurt me in the worst way possible. I think I’m justified fuckface

Vikingking > I couldn’t reverse the spell, ok? It was too strong for someone who wasn’t the original caster to undo. I wanted to fix it.

love&rosesaesthetic > Did you say anything to them about that?

Vikingking > I think I smiled to be completely honest.

hungaryandhungry > ^^^that says it all

axesandasses > Still didn’t do anything

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Mathias, Czech blamed Lukas for Liz’s death and Lukas blamed Czech for Vlad’s. So, they fought, and you already know the outcome. Neither of them were right, but you can’t change it.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > So, Lukas.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Fix this now.

axesandasses > Guys I was out of the chat for like five minutes for a reason, Slovakia forwarded his chat with Czech to me

axesandasses > Jesus Christ

3catholic5u > What happened?

axesandasses > I mean I don’t have his permission to tell my friends what happens to him and a person he cares about personally, but… We clearly have already overstepped those boundaries.

axesandasses > I’ll send it to you guys I have it in a screenshot read this wtfffff

axesandasses > CzechsandSlovakiaspersonalshit.jpg

love&rosesaesthetic > ...She really said all that?

Vikingking > Not surprised.

3catholic5u > I, uh… well then

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > That’s just horrifying to be honest.

axesandasses > bad sisters 101 everyone, take notes!

hungaryandhungry > That has to be fake I doubt anything you’d send is real especially about her

axesandasses > Cute you think that.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Is has everything on Slovakia’s skype account, and I doubt Den knows how to fake that.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > That’s real.

Vikingking > You just figured that out?

axesandasses > Reasons to hate her: I’m making a blog

hungaryandhungry > even if you made it she’d never see it bc somebody thinks they should just leave her for dead

Vikingking > Not forever, but for a while.

axesandasses > leave it for forever I think she deserves everything she gets

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You weren’t there. You didn’t see what happened. You didn’t watch them fight, None of us did. How could you know?

axesandasses > did I not just send you all of the reasoning you need tbh

thefabulouspolska > I’m gonna go I can’t read this someone remove Liet he’s been afk for like half an hour

 

thefabulouspolska >> removed trafficliet from the conversation

 

thefabulouspolska >> has left the conversation

 

love&rosesaesthetic > Send us a video of everything that happened in that damned game and we’ll consider your reasoning, as you call it.

Axesandasses > at least one person here is on my side

 

Axesandasses >> has left the conversation

 

Vikingking > remind me next week, I might be alright with bringing her back then.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I can’t get through to you, so why even bother

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> has left the conversation

 

hungaryandhungry > I’m assuming that’s a fucking no

3catholic5u > Isn’t Arthur the sensible one here, though?

hungaryandhungry > nobody can get through to this asshole

love&rosesaesthetic > maybe we should just follow suit

 

love&rosesaesthetic >> has left the conversation

 

hungaryandhungry > hell no I’m not leaving. Lukas, clearly nothing’s gonna fix this any time soon. At least you can give it some time. If you literally freeze her in time, how is she going to see what she did if everyone’s already calm? Or are you saying you’re never going to let this go? Either way, what she did was wrong but.. Like that dumb chat said two wrongs don’t exactly make a right.

Vikingking > I’ll fix her tomorrow, happy?

hungaryandhungry > Clearly if I try to convince you any further you’ll just leave her for god knows how long, so… deal.

Vikingking > Just lay off for once, okay?

 

Vikingking >> has left the conversation

 

hungaryandhungry > For once??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Titling this gets harder and harder,, there's also only like one person reading this and regularly scheduled shitposting isn't coming back so soon so...


	24. In Which Changing the subject is the greatest talent of all

Thespaqueen >> added eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, love&rosesaesthetic, hungaryandhungary, thefabulouspolska, iceicebby, notavamp, mybrothersavampire, freshaslovakiado, and 3catholic5u to the conversation.

 

thespaqueen > So I woke up on my couch surrounded by my family like it was my deathbed

thespaqueen > I’m really confused what happened last thing I remember I went to sleep, felt a choking feeling in my throat, and now I’m here

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > We’re glad to have you back, but Czech, would you mind reading the chat? I’ll send it over.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > thechatpostgames.jpg

thespaqueen > ...o

love&rosesaesthetic > yeah…

 

thespaqueen >> added vikingking to the chat

 

thespaqueen > ...how long was I even dead?

Vikingking > 12 days

thespaqueen > right.. Ok yeah this was bound to happen 

thespaqueen > sending me and Slovakia’s chat was in poor taste if Den is here

Freshaslovakiado > sorry, but I thought it would help.

thespaqueen > Why did you send that?

Freshaslovakiado > I was trying to get you back.

thespaqueen > ..jeez this is awkward

Freshaslovakiado > you kind of set it up to be tbh

Vikingking > ok, she’s back.

Vikingking > hooray for you, but I only did it bc I had a bad feeling abt the two other mages here and what they were going to do to me if I didn’t fix you

Notavamp > Well, uh… yeah basically 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > definitely planned that, 100%

Vikingking > so I did that for nothing

thespaqueen > Honestly asshole, I bet you would've just left me like that. Great.

Vikingking > wow, looks like you’ve won that bet, congratz! 

3catholic5u > the sarcasm is dripping out of my phone help its getting everywhere

thespaqueen > can I use that excuse to leave the chat or

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > So, you’ll back out of this fight but not one where you could-- and eventually have-- died?

love&rosesaesthetic > who’s side are you even on at this point

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I wish I could tell you.  


iceicebby > Would it be a good time to tell you that the table broke or

Vikingking > wait which one 

Vikingking > fuck does Berwald know

Vikingking > was it that really old one?

iceicebby > it was bound to happen ok

Vikingking > what the actual fuck did you do now that was his supposed favorite he’s gonna scream

iceicebby > um i kinda sorta cracked the leg on it by kicking it to hard

Vikingking > wtf why did you kick it??

iceicebby > it was you or the table bc those are the only two things in the house that are worth kicking

mybrothersavampire > he had a tantrum lol

Vikingking > I’m flattered that I’m worth your time-- me of all people! You don’t understand, this is an achievement that only one other possesses, I feel honored by this title.

hungaryandhungry > the other’s a table wow such high standards

3catholic5u > quite a competition, must have been a tie

Vikingking > but really, what are we doing when he finds out?

love&rosesaesthetic > can’t you just magic it?  


Vikingking > he knows every crack, every nook, and every cranny of that damn table. That’s not working here.

iceicebby > that sounded sexual fifty shades of furniture 

love&rosesaesthetic > wait someone needs to write it just to burn it on a couch

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Francis no

love&rosesaesthetic > Francis yes

love&rosesaesthetic > Ice will be my co-author

love&rosesaesthetic > Sweden will make sure no tables are harmed in the writing of this book

3catholic5u > i’ll burn you before you finish the first page

thespaqueen > I’m gonna go start this erotic fanfiction

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > No, you’re staying.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > and please don’t because it really seems like something you’d do

thespaqueen > just looking for an excuse to leave

Notavamp > we’ll just keep adding you back

thespaqueen > oh please,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > What made you kick the table anyway?

iceicebby > nothing at all

3catholic5u > really? Lukas, is that normal for him?

Vikingking > No actually, I wonder what made him wreck this one.

Iceicebby > first off, fuck u. second,, I may or may not have kicked the table because of an argument on tumblr,

love&rosesaesthetic > sjw?

Iceicebby > Yes she yelled at me to check my European white cis male privilege,,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > what

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Why though?

iceicebby > Uh… I made an anti-sjw post and it #TRIGGERED her

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Ah, I see

3catholic5u > not to get off this,, exciting topic, but can we get back to what’s important and keep yelling at czech now? I was actually enjoying that, mind you

Thespaqueen > excuse you were you there did you see what went down there??

3catholic5u > nah but I see this chat and I’m loving it

Thespaqueen > can we not just for the reason to shut Seamus up

3catholic5u > sorry but lets do this

Vikingking > I’m in

Thespaqueen > Oh quiet you sadistic asshole

Vikingking > I can say the same about you, though pretty much everyone here is an asshole tbh

Hungaryandhungry > I love how Lukas is taking a go at everyone

Vikingking > Oh, and especially you Liz

Hungaryandhungry > I never asked I know who all of us is

Vikingking > but really everyone in this chat is an asshole in some way, shape or form

Thefabulouspolska > can I accept the title of the best one though or at least the bitchiest

Thespaqueen > is that not a description of you in a single statement 

Thefabulouspolska > ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

love&rosesaesthetic > it hasn’t changed, Alfred’s still the biggest asshole. Take your titles and guard them from him, he may beat you.

Thespaqueen > Lukas will always be the fucking shadiest

Thespaqueen > kys Lukas

Vikingking > You know, I’ll pass on that one.

Vikingking > But if you do it first, I promise you,

Vikingking > I’ll do it too

Thespaqueen > suicide motherfucking pact I swear I will do it

Hungaryandhungry > no you won't,

Vikingking > here we have a rare moment in history-- the nation of Hungary is right

Hungaryandhungry > here we have the actual weakest nation running his mouth,

Hungaryandhungry > I will cut you please keep talking

Vikingking > Hey, if you insist.

Vikingking > Just a question, how the hell did you manage to get spit and apple juice on Czech on separate accounts?

Hungaryandhungry > I laugh when I'm nervous

Thespaqueen > Do I scare you that much??

Hungaryandhungry > no I was never told what to do it wasn't arranged and I was nervous to actually date someone

Thespaqueen > I swear this became sappy really fast

Vikingking > Lukas, the master of subject changing

Thespaqueen > Adéla the master of not giving two fucks

love&rosesaesthetic > at least you give one

Thespaqueen > One to my gf 

Notavamp > wait, Czech likes Hungary??

Hungaryandhungry > I will fight you

Thespaqueen > She do

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > *does.

Thespaqueen > shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > *Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Thespaqueen > Okay,, don't look at me ever again

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > *Okay… Don’t look at me ever again.

Thespaqueen > UGH STOP

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > *Ugh, stop.

Thespaqueen > I will fight you here, right now.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > The saying is ‘right here, right now’.

Thespaqueen > KYS

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > *Kill yourself.

Thespaqueen > Ok but please stop, you’re annoying.

Thespaqueen > HOW WOULD I MESS THAT ONE UP

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > *Okay, but please stop. You’re annoying.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > *How would I mess that one up?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Your move, Czech.

Thespaqueen > Is this my punishment? Ok, I get it, fuck you.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You’re improving.

Thespaqueen > I thought you were finally done with this grammar bullshit.

Thespaqueen > It hurts me to even have to use grammar texting.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Actually, I find this entertaining, don’t you?

3catholic5u > artie, this chat was my last hope on fixing you.

3catholic5u > guys press B stop this evolution of sin

Thespaqueen > Is anyone even here

love&rosesaesthetic > hello, it’s me

Hungaryandhungry > just reading this

Notavamp > pure gold

Iceicebby > oh hi

Thespaqueen > You mock my pain

Vikingking > tbh I thought we fixed the guy

Vikingking > Iggy some of us actually had faith in you and then you throw away your shot just like that

Iceicebby > I will not throw awaY MY SHOT (just you wait)

3catholic5u > y’all need jesus

Iceicebby > wow read that over Seamus pls

3catholic5u > uh… what’s wrong with it?

3catholic5u > oh, right. fuck

3catholic5u > nah whatever

Iceicebby > Who are you what did you do to our friend and if this is Alistair why do you even

3catholic5u > I just stole his phone for a sec to read whatever the fuck was going on and to get a reaction. I think it worked -Alistair

Thespaqueen > the best brother 10/10 influence this is a perfect 10/10 example

3catholic5u > alright see ya later. Oh Iggy, remember I still have it if I even get added -Alistair

3catholic5u > sorry, back. Artie what exactly is he talking abt?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Um… nothing, nothing at all.

Hungaryandhungry > you said jesus instead of Jesus

3catholic5u > yeah I saw that

3catholic5u > *Jesus

love&rosesaesthetic > what was he talking about?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Nothing at all, just being a 10/10 influence. Brothers, right?

Thespaqueen > I love your family can I have it thanks

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Please, be my guest.

Thefabulouspolska > gee thanks

Freshaslovakiado > wow, I can feel the love

Thespaqueen > Oh I’m glad

Freshaslovakiado > honestly this chat just gets better and better

Freshaslovakiado > maybe I should add alistair

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> has removed freshaslovakiado from the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > good luck on that.

Thespaqueen > he has his skype? That’s what scares me the most golly deAR ME

love&rosesaesthetic > wait, so we’re all good on the whole killing each other brutally thing?

Notavamp > yeah basically

Vikingking > sorta, maybe a little bit

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Pretty much

Iceicebby > #DustUnderTheRug

Thespaqueen > wow ok 

love&rosesaesthetic > alright, see ya later

 

love&rosesaesthetic >> has left the conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert: it's really not #dustundertherug but


	25. In Which Someone Literally goes to hell

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Lukas, I have a few questions. First off, what were you doing in my basement? 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Second, why am I currently at the gates of hell?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > LITERAL HELL?!? AS IN THE FIERY CAVES OF ETERNAL PUNISHMENT?!?

Vikingking > wait it actually worked? Okay wow did not see that coming. 

Notavamp > hold up hell has wifi?

3catholic5u > damn

Thespaqueen > ok what did I log into I get on the chat after just turning on my phone and then I see my good friend is in actual hell

love&rosesaesthetic > I didn’t know nations even went to hell!

love&rosesaesthetic > seamus I’m blaming you

Vikingking > first off, your basement already has the runes plotted out, so it’s just easier

Vikingking > second, I was trying to send czech, not you

Vikingking > sorry abt that

Thespaqueen > may I say,

Thespaqueen > What the hell

Thespaqueen > haha thats so funNY IM SO FUNNY

Thespaqueen > why tf did u try to send me to hell

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > better question, why didn’t you know you had to be close to her to send her there?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > oh, and how the hell do I get out of it??

3catholic5u > I feel like everyone was just waiting for me to answer

Thespaqueen > nope tbh

3catholic5u > fair enough

3catholic5u > you need to get past all nine circles of hell without actually dying, since you haven’t. Then you need to talk to satan to try to bargain for your freedom

Iceicebby > why do you know this

3catholic5u > don’t ask I just do

Thespaqueen > Seamus is Satan 2k16

3catholic5u > tbh he’s nicer than you’d think, and he even has a few goats as pets

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well you’re thing is sheep, so at least you’re not him.

Thespaqueen > I thoughT YOU WERE CATHOLIC DIDN’T YOU SAY HELL WAS A GOD FORSAKEN PLACE who r you

3catholic5u > Seamus.

3catholic5u > Not Alistair.

3catholic5u > he’s at a pub somewhere

Thespaqueen > sure

Hungaryandhungry > hi i turn on my phone and see that czech is texting in the middle of movie night whAT is this chat

Thefabulouspolska > my sister is growing up :’)

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > seamus, why does hell have free wifi?

3catholic5u > hey hey I’ve only been there once I don’t know everything abt that place

Thespaqueen > I thoUGHT U WERE CATHOLIC who is this

3catholic5u > honestly if I actually said Alistair you would believe me

Thespaqueen > hell yeah I would

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > …

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Vlad, Lukas, you know how we said hell would be warmer? It’s actually a bit colder here.

Notavamp > wait really

Thespaqueen > oh wow inaccuracy guess u don’t know everything

Vikingking > well then

3catholic5u > that’s just the first level, the heat and mountains of fire will hit you in a bit

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Ok, well that’s waIT WHAT I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS SHIT

Thespaqueen > I think the real question is why Lukas tried signing me up for that

Vikingking > I was bored and wanted to try out a new spell

Thespaqueen > ‘course I was your go-to

Vikingking > well I couldn’t do it on Vlad for obvious reasons, Liz would have left me with a frying pan-shaped bruise on my face if I tried, Pol and Francis wouldn’t have survived, I couldn’t do it on any of the other nordics without the possibility of Den going at me with his favorite battleaxe, and so my next thought was good ol’ you

Thespaqueen > oh wow how kind

Hungaryandhungry > ok but i will steal your phone get off of the group chat watch the fucKING MOVIE

Thespaqueen > wouldn’t be much different tbh,

Iceicebby > ouch Liz what’re you gonna say

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > on a separate note, I just got to Lust and I’m horrified

Thespaqueen > Wow really I was sure you’d know it by heart considering thAT YOU’RE BASICALLY THE PERSONIFICATION OF IT

Iceicebby > wow chill

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > oh please, that was centuries ago. do you really think I’d remember every detail of it, as you suggest?

Thespaqueen > I KNOW I DO

Iceicebby > chiillllllll

Thespaqueen > was that a pun

Hungaryandhungry > I’m taking her phone smh

love&rosesaesthetic > alright bye

 

love&rosesaesthetic >> has removed thespaqueen from the conversation

 

love&rosesaesthetic > where are you now?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > gluttony, and the fire’s only getting worse

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > not to mention that everyone here looks like they lived at McDonalds

Iceicebby > ouch oh no tumblr might be listening better be PC about this,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > fine. Everyone here looks like a truck tire.

Iceicebby > OH NO TUMBLR’S TRIGGERED

Mybrothersavampire > You’re making it worse

Thefabulouspolska > so much for political correctness

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > honestly I’m surprised I haven’t passed out but this really helps

Iceicebby > the cure for any phobia is skype group chats

Hungaryandhungry > WHY IS MY PHONE BLOWING UP

3catholic5u > might be the wifi in hell calling to you

Hungaryandhungry > can you guys quiet down

Iceicebby > good friend is trapped in actual hell: guys quiet down

Hungaryandhungry > really tho

Iceicebby > mute the chat then

love&rosesaesthetic > we’re fucking texting what are you hearing

Hungaryandhungry > the ringtone I jailbroke my phone to play whenever anything from the chat happens so over and over I’m just hearing “We’re no strangers to love” etc over and over

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well, I got to greed and everyone’s either pushing boulders or fighting each other

3catholic5u > DON’T LOOK AT ANYONE

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > wait why?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > too late, and she’s running to me

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > brb

love&rosesaesthetic > is he really going to fight a girl

love&rosesaesthetic > does he really need to?

3catholic5u > if he wants to get to the next level, yes

Hungaryandhungry > guyS SHUT UP

Iceicebby > mute the chat

Iceicebby > I have a feeling she just loves complaining about the noise

Hungaryandhungry > You’ll be noisily complaining about me slapping you across the face with a fucking skillet 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > back, and I’m at the entrance to anger

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > any tips?

3catholic5u > never stop running until you find the exit and get REALLY angry so you don’t sink

Iceicebby > ooh! Don’t be yourself (dont be angry) and you’ll be fine

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well, at least I have a few things to think about, Lukas.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > really you don’t just send someone to hell wtf

Vikingking > not affected by this

Vikingking > consider it a learning experience

Mybrothersavampire > haha what if Czech went to hell

hungaryandhungry > Shhhhhhhhhhh

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > put. your. phone. away.

Hungaryandhungry > fineeeeeee

 

Hungaryandhungry >> left the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I just ran across the river styx I feel accomplished

love&rosesaesthetic > wait what

Notavamp > how…?

3catholic5u > power of anger, or in this case being really pissed off

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > hey, quick question, what should I do abt the medusa-like girls with bat wings here?

Iceicebby > oh haha go towarDS THEM

Iceicebby > I read Percy Jackson I think I know where this is going

3catholic5u > ...don’t look at them in any of their eyes and just stay away

3catholic5u > and don’t step in any of the coffins. They’ll trap and burn you

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > thanks for the warning

Notavamp > wait have you not read percy jackson

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > um… no?

Notavamp > read it if you get back

Iceicebby > I swear Arthur you need to pray to escape 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > wouldn’t sit well with the one I need to bargain with

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > anyways, I made it to violence and Seamus please explain the pond of boiling blood

3catholic5u > just don’t touch anything or challenge anyone just walk away and don’t step in anything

Iceicebby > *marco voice* what about the floor? What about the air,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > not the time

Iceicebby > oopsy daisy

Mybrothersavampire > condescending like woahh

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > wtf is violence??

love&rosesaesthetic > well that was random

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > people have been gutted, wrapped in lead, boiled in tar, and a few have their heads on backwards!

Iceicebby > vi·o·lence: noun- behavior involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something.

3catholic5u > just keep walking

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > at least this one is a bit smaller than the others

3catholic5u > you make it out alright? 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > yeah, but I hear him laughing

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I just walked into treachery and there are people hanging upside down encased in ice with their heads free

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > uh… Seamus?

3catholic5u > yeah?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > he said the only way I was getting out was if I gave him your skype name

3catholic5u > haha have fun in hell bro nice knowing you

Notavamp > just give it to him

3catholic5u > plz don’t

Vikingking > do it already

love&rosesaesthetic > get back to the surface please,,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > done, and I’m out. Wifi isn’t as good up here though

3catholic5u > I officially hate you arthur you have betrayed me whyyyyyyy

Iceicebby > what the Hell even happened in this chat

Iceicebby > hA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I mean I just don't know anymore,,


	26. In Which Seamus Finds A Girlfriend

3catholic5u > I uh… I have a few things to say

Thespaqueen > It’s ok we all accept you as gay

3catholic5u > Yeah, sorry but no

Notavamp > he’s not a european gay™ 

3catholic5u > nope

Vikingking > I’m shocked he’s the one straight person here

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oddly enough…

Thespaqueen > well we had my brother but he’s clearly not a permanent part of this chat

love&rosesaesthetic > he does have every right not to talk to you after the games happened

Thespaqueen > d i DN’t aSK,

Thespaqueen > Ok but he’S not ig n o RIN G me

Thespaqueen > kinda sad he doesn’t want to join any more chats or talk to any of you guys any more after that though

3catholic5u > on a separate note, I have a girlfriend now

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > wait what how

Thespaqueen > That was fAST 

Iceicebby > Well technically time is slowed down a bit for nations it feels like we talked only like yesterday but it could’ve been a few weeks or something

love&rosesaesthetic > no it was yesterday I actually checked

Iceicebby > time is basically not even a concept anymore, why does it say otherwise on my phone,

Thespaqueen > it says like an hour ago for me

Hungaryandhungry > Y’all phones are really fucked up smh

Vikingking > not the time to get somewhat deep guys, Seamus finally found someone

Thespaqueen > Oh ask her the time bc I know I’m right

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Which nation is she, anyway?

3catholic5u > haha… about that

3catholic5u > she’s a human

love&rosesaesthetic > did you really

love&rosesaesthetic > ...you couldn’t have, right?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Francis, he’ll be fine.

love&rosesaesthetic > I don’t want history repeating itself with you

Thespaqueen > is there a support group for idiots who fall in love w ppl from their nation

3catholic5u > if you want to get technical she’s actually from Wales though she’s the first generation here, so she’s mainly irish

Hungaryandhungry > the Irish™ attitude

Thefabulouspolska > Like wow I’m surprised Seamus actually found love so

3catholic5u > you want me to add her, maybe?

love&rosesaesthetic > go ahead

 

3catholic5u >> added DraconianBanshee to the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > her username already sounds badass I approve

DraconianBanshee > well its Welsh and Irish, plus it’s awesome, so why not?

Thespaqueen > hello don’t break his heart our friend is fragile

DraconianBanshee > wasn’t planning on it

Hungaryandhungry > quick embarrassing stories time

3catholic5u > please don’t

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I have a few.

3catholic5u > artie no

love&rosesaesthetic > I don’t think I caught your name

DraconianBanshee > Myrna Megan Moore

Thespaqueen > ok but 

Thespaqueen > Is this a joke how long were you and Seamus seeing each other and what is the date I need to know how much time passed since the last chat

DraconianBanshee > It’s the ninth, and we’ve been together abt a month

Iceicebby > HA

DraconianBanshee > I just read the chat, and can someone please explain the date argument?

Thespaqueen > We gonna tell her

Iceicebby > Tell her what 

Iceicebby > Everyone’s phone is set on a different day and we can’t figure out why

love&rosesaesthetic > Emil, not that. The, uh… other thing

Notavamp > that we’re all European Gays™ besides Seamus or something else

Notavamp > OH that

Thespaqueen > I’m assuming not so

Thespaqueen > stfu

DraconianBanshee > If you think you guys being lgbt is gonna bother me, it’s really not if that’s what you’re saying

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I think he should tell her

DraconianBanshee > Tell her what??

Thespaqueen > NOTHING

love&rosesaesthetic > well, when I told you-know-who you-know-what she was fine with it and it didn’t change anything

Thespaqueen > YES BUT ITS DIFFERENT NOW K SHUT UPP

Vikingking > He should tell her

Notavamp > He really, really shouldn’t

DraconianBanshee > Guys, guys. If you’re going to tell me that you-know-who knew you-know-what and that you’re not sure if I should know, then just say it outright. It's not that difficult.

Thespaqueen > Like she wouldn’t even believe it. Ok but like,, don’t please because it’s kind of a dangerous world now so

DraconianBanshee > Hey hey hold up a sec. first off, I would. Second, I know enough that one secret doesn’t change the course of history, and besides, (I know I’ll sound like a kid while saying this but) I won’t tell.

Thespaqueen > won’t change history - oh haha you’re so funny she’s so funny ha

Thespaqueen > hah a hA HA

Hungaryandhungry > chill ur butt do you need to go get a glass of water this is what you get for staying up till 4 on ur phone,

DraconianBanshee > hey, how come it’s ‘Hungary’ and not ‘Hungarian’ in your username?

3catholic5u > well, now we have to tell her

Hungaryandhungry > because the pun doesn’t woRK IF I DONT

DraconianBanshee > just a question

Thespaqueen > shh

DraconianBanshee > ...but we’re texting. We’re not even talking at all. How are we supposed to ‘shh’

Thespaqueen > I’m being disrespected in my own home

DraconianBanshee > sorry, it’s instinct

Thespaqueen > no it’s valor

Hungaryandhungry > It’s mySTIC

Iceicebby > Instinct

Mybrothersavampire > mystic!

DraconianBanshee > ...I haven’t even gotten around to getting the game yet guys

Thespaqueen > So that wasn’t a pun

Thespaqueen > oops

DraconianBanshee > Nah, but a question for the instinct in the room: do you like memes at all or is that only a hc for the team leader?

Iceicebby > oh it’s really the dank meme dream team tbh

DraconianBanshee > I completely agree

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > So, are we telling her or not?

DraconianBanshee > Telling her what??

Thespaqueen > NO

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > We should!

Vikingking > Yes!

Notavamp > Well, actually… yeah we should

Thespaqueen > she’s not gonna get it

DraconianBanshee > She gets a lot of things, actually, you’d be surprised.

 

Thespaqueen > Ok she’s funny tho

DraconianBanshee > Thx!

3catholic5u > I’m gonna tell her

Thespaqueen > don’t you dare

DraconianBanshee > don’t tell me that was a frozen reference

DraconianBanshee > it was, wasn’t it

Vikingking > haha yeah it was

Thespaqueen > I was put up to this I swear

DraconianBanshee > so can he tell me, or…?

Thespaqueen > Fine might as well

3catholic5u > Myrna, we’re basically countries.

DraconianBanshee > Seamus, you’re basically full of shit how did you get everyone else in on this so fast? Please tell me how drunk you are rn

3catholic5u > Well, our existence is a closely guarded government secret, so no one alive knows about us or still remembers us at least. 

Thespaqueen > Oh boy that’s a cringey way to say it

love&rosesaesthetic > Let me try, it wouldn’t be my first time.

DraconianBanshee > Please, enlighten me

love&rosesaesthetic > as he said, we’re nations. We’re not the landmass itself, but a personification of its cultures and people. I am France, Seamus is Ireland, Arthur is England, Vladimir is Romania, Lukas is Norway, Emil is Iceland, and so on. Our health is connected to the well-being of the people in our countries. Also as Seamus said, not many people know about us. Our existence is passed down through a monarchy or by the past ruler at least. Many people, if they knew about us, would do anything to get to us to change the course of history.

love&rosesaesthetic > Finally, we are not injured the same way as humans. A simple cut will heal in moments. If we die, we’ll feel the pain of everyone in our country that has died in the same way during our absence, but we’ll come back a bit stronger, mentally at least, than before.

Thespaqueen > like example: stab one of us in a not very critical place in a not so critical way and we’ll probably regenerate in a few minutes to a few hours so we tend to exploit that a lot it’s a really cool plus if we die we can come back in a few days or a week

Iceicebby > Also reasons we have certain health conditions: HK has asthma for example which is a reflection of the state of the air in that particular place

3catholic5u > that was a lot better than anything I could have said

DraconianBanshee > so… this is all true? Thespaqueen is right, this is hard to believe

love&rosesaesthetic > would it help if I told her about you-know-who?

DraconianBanshee > I swear if you start talking abt Voldemort I’m going to crack up

Thespaqueen > We don’t need to cry abt Jean anymore no offense, this chat is already kinda hard to swallow for what’s her name 

DraconianBanshee > Jean? Like Jean D’Arc? That Jean?

Thespaqueen > Boi do she pick it up fast yep you know your history

Thespaqueen > Ok so you 1. Kinda get it 2. Don’t think we’re high on something 3. Aren’t gonna try to murder us somehow or kidnap us or something

DraconianBanshee > Yeah, I’m catching on, but… how old are you guys?

3catholic5u > We’re the age of our countries but act like the age we appear as

Thespaqueen > I’m still the youngest

love&rosesaesthetic > Oldest

Thespaqueen > Can you beat 1993 on new years like damn 

DraconianBanshee > wait so I’m older than you just wow

DraconianBanshee > Can you beat 1991 on Easter? 

Thespaqueen > Wow so you’re Catholic we found a match made in *haha* Heaven

DraconianBanshee > cringe worthy

Thespaqueen > You want cringe-worthy go on Emil’s tumblr

DraconianBanshee > I have a feeling I already follow him. He posts memes, undertale, and ice puns, right?

Iceicebby > Um no, of course not, why would I ever, 

Iceicebby > Are the memes dank enough

DraconianBanshee > The Dankest™

Iceicebby > hell yeah

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Ok now I just shudder when I see that I really need help

3catholic5u > Hey, you got out in one piece

DraconianBanshee > so you went to--

DraconianBanshee > damn

Thespaqueen > And I wasn’t allowed to watch bc movie night :/

Hungaryandhungry > I swear are you in a relationship w all of your friends or me jesus christ

DraconianBanshee > *Jesus Christ

Vikingking > not again

Notavamp > czech don’t ruin this so don’t do anything stupid. 

Thespaqueen > She’s so respectful abt it too Seamus would probs stab you in the eye if you make that mistake

DraconianBanshee > In the eye…?

DraconianBanshee > yeah he’s more of a ‘stab you in the shoulder’ kind of guy

3catholic5u > tbh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boi mun Trash had to beg mun Metta not to make it angsty


	27. In Which Den is Lowkey Jealous

Axesandasses >> added vikingking, thespaqueen, notavamp, iceicebby, thefabulouspolska, hungaryandhungry, love&rosesaesthetic, eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, mybrothersavampire, and 3catholic5u to the conversation

 

Axesandasses > PSA: ok you guys were over at our house last night I get it it’s cool but you know some of us were trying to watch a movie and not witness a certain few couples making out next to mE

Vikingking > Sve and Fin were too, you know

Axesandasses > I know but they aren’t in this chat are they

Thespaqueen > geez sorry that you’re the only one all alone

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I didn’t know you even get jealous.

Axesandasses > Ok but did I say I was jealous no I said I was trying to watch a movie,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oh, please. We all saw the look on your face after a while, or at least some of us noticed.

Axesandasses > yeah annoyance I was trying to watch a movie

Vikingking > Sorry, but he’s right

3catholic5u > hold up for a second which he

Vikingking > Iggy of course

Axesandasses > bitch where

Iceicebby > bitch,, right there,,,,, don’t pretend I didn’t see you angrily sending memes who do you think you are me

love&rosesaesthetic > on a separate note,,

love&rosesaesthetic > what happened this time?

Axesandasses > Movie night was ruined

Thespaqueen > only depending on ur point of view

Thespaqueen > I wouldn’t have gone if Liz hadnt legit dragged me though so it cant be ruined if it was already terrible

Hungaryandhungry > Ok but just because you saw the movie ten times before doesn’t make it any worse

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m fairly sure you kept glancing at Vlad and Lukas, if that means anything to anybody.

Axesandasses > yeah you two were thE LOUDEST

Thespaqueen > pff dodging like a pro aren’t you

Notavamp > alright wtf is happening what did I do

Axesandasses > besides not being worth the time of day,

Axesandasses > nothing at all anyways this has been a PSA I’m leaving then

Vikingking > explain

Axesandasses > the psa? I already explained to not kiss loudly during movies :\

Vikingking > about Vlad ‘not being worth the time of day’

Axesandasses > just saying he’s a dick

Axesandasses > j u s t s a y i n g 

Notavamp > takes one to know one

Axesandasses > was I talking to you

Notavamp > you were talking about me, so… yeah

Thespaqueen > #catfight

Axesandasses > Was I talking TO you though. Did I address you with a second person pronoun did I speak to you

Notavamp > You decided to talk to me when you added me to the chat.

Axesandasses > because you needed to hear the psa

Axesandasses >> has left the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > are we gonna add him back

Vikingking > please not now I value my current state of sanity

Thespaqueen > fighT FIGHT FIGHT

Hungaryandhungry > I will get the popcorn

Notavamp > wait nor and den or me and den or just both of us against den I need to know

Thespaqueen > you vs den

Thefabulouspolska > don’t egG THEM ON

Thefabulouspolska > I need to get the video recorder and we need to get there first!

Notavamp > …

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > fight fight fight

Iceicebby > They’re best friends aren’t they

Iceicebby > “oh fun let’s watch them fight”

Thespaqueen > shaming Arthur for being a bad friend too now I like the direction of this chat

Notavamp > would it be wrong if I chanted fight

Notavamp > nah fuck it

Notavamp > fight figHT FIGHT

Mybrothersavampire > I love not being involved and just reading through this chat

Thespaqueen > you don’t have to be here

Thefabulouspolska > Don’t be mean he’s like five :\

Iceicebby > Wow Czech don’t… be meme

Vikingking > ok are you Spark tell me this now

Iceicebby > Oh yeah I’m still trying to convince Nor to bring Spark to life so we can out-meme everyone

Thespaqueen > The definition of rivalry

Hungaryandhungry > Two memes, a match made in heaven, two rivals, coming to you in theatres whenever the pepe becomes rare again

Notavamp > I’m cool with bringing in the leaders

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You’ve got two out of three of us with this plan

Thespaqueen > *You’ve got two out of three of us with this plan.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Fuck you Czech, fuck you.

Thespaqueen > repeating for emphasis isn’t formal if you’re keeping with the tone of your other texts :\

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m going to regret this but

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > dude, what tone? I’m just texting you guys, its not like an essay or anything. Who made you the english teacher anyways?

Thespaqueen > Alfred we told you to keep your ass out of our chat it’s for European gays™ only

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > why does that work with everyone

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > acting american can fool most people why does that happen

Thespaqueen > Did that hurt every ounce of your being to write

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > A pain worse than death.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > but tbh, it is fun tho

Thespaqueen > How high is he to be writing like this

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well the only way is up, right?

3catholic5u > AMERICANS ARE CONTAGIOUS SPREAD THE WORD

Thespaqueen > the only way is up: a story written ironically by the cluster

Hungaryandhungry > I’d read that

love&rosesaesthetic > I’m betting that w/ your history of steven universe it would be a bit like 50 shades of gray in some parts

Thespaqueen > I will fight you I will not hesitate to get up and fight you

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > she got that fite me attitude but not that fite me spunk am I right

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Alright, alright. I’m done.

Thespaqueen > Please you’re scaring me

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m scaring myself, though I want to check Alfred’s phone to see if I got it right.

Thespaqueen > hA

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m honestly not sure if that’s a yes or a no.

Thespaqueen > can we ad den back I wanna laugh at him some more

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I need his reaction

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> added axesandasses to the conversation

 

Axesandasses > I’m leaving again what do you guys want

love&rosesaesthetic > read the chat

Axesandasses > Arthur who even are you

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’ve caught a bad case of American.

Axesandasses > oh god is that the only thing i’m here for can i go now

Vikingking > yeah sure bye

 

Axesandasses >> left the conversation

Mybrothersavampire > I wanted drama :(

Thefabulouspolska > same tho

Vikingking > I didn’t want him bothering me for the rest of the week so yeah sorry abt that

Iceicebby > welp I’ll see more drama since I’m literally in ur house and guys I can confirm the sexual tension between them

Thespaqueen > oh boy how fun

Vikingking > its an absolute pain in the ass he keeps giving me this look as if he’s trying to be cute and it just makes everything worse

Iceicebby > IKR he’s sad bc he was sure you and him had a thing before you were like “hey lemme get a friend w benefits” and then you go “time to get into a relationship w said friend with benefits” and bam he’s sad you made him sad congrats

Vikingking > we had an on and off thing, but seriously he needs to stop

Iceicebby > it was sudden as shit like im with him on this *chants in background* I ship it

Notavamp > yeah I’m just gonna go,,

 

Notavamp >> has left the conversation

 

Iceicebby > oh boi drama

Hungaryandhungry > We’re still recovering from more drama and oh look evEN MORE HOW FUN

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > fight fight fight

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > No? Just me? Okay then, fine.

Thespaqueen > shhhhh we all already wanna fight you

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Wait what

Hungaryandhungry > not really,, she’s just,, spiteful,,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I had no idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What even


	28. In Which Body Switch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HAHA THE TITLE RHYMED IM SO FUNNY KMS

love&rosesaesthetic >> added eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, notavamp, vikingking, thespaqueen, mybrothersavampire, thefabulouspolska, 3catholic5u, iceicebby, draconianbanshee, and hungaryandhungry to the conversation

 

love&rosesaesthetic > listen up magic trio, I woke up in Arthur’s body with two weights over my eyes and I’d like to know why

Thespaqueen > Ok well if this was directed at me and Liz then congrats you guys got us this time

Draconianbanshee > I’m in Seamus’s body. I didn’t want to know what it’s like to be a guy.

Hungaryandhungry > I have a problem I woke up as the most lovely person in the world :\

Thespaqueen > I swear to fuckinG

Iceicebby > I strive to be this fucking smooth

3catholic5u > Arthur why am I Myrna explain this please

Iceicebby > I’m my older brother I’m gonna go tell Den I love him

Vikingking > DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE I’LL BREAK UP WITH LEON FOR YOU

Iceicebby > too late fuck

Vikingking > I just texted him and I think I can hear his crying all the way from Asia

Iceicebby > why by text that’s the cruelest thing you could do you know what I’m shaving my head for you 

Vikingking > seriously the spell to get my hair back is all of five words

Iceicebby > I’m gonna go.. I’m gonna go get a fucking plane ticket now this needs to be fixed better yet I’ll forward this chat to him and fly over there

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Yeah, it’s a long story, but I currently have figured out how to cook snails. I’m honestly scared out of my mind because they were actually decent.

Thespaqueen > Was this directed at me I need honesty

Notavamp > No, it was directed at all of us and I gave these two a supposed ‘drunken spell’ that was only going to work on everyone else, but I did something better

Notavamp > yeah but I’m my brother rn so it didn’t work out as well as I thought it would

Mybrothersavampire > I’m gonna go actually drink alcohol legALLY

Notavamp > nO I FORBID IT DON’T DO IT

Mybrothersavampire > Fuck you

Thefabulouspolska > Yes but why did you switch me with Toris he’s not in the chat why bring him into this

Notavamp > tbh I didn’t mean to

love&rosesaesthetic > wait can I finally fix Arthur’s eyebrows this is a miracle thank you

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > wtf is wrong with them? Really, what’s wrong with my eyebrows?

love&rosesaesthetic > many, many things

love&rosesaesthetic > newandimprovedarthur.png

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > what have you done

Thespaqueen > a huge service to this earth

Hungaryandhungry > I’m gonna take advantage of this as well we’re going shopping finally

Thespaqueen > I swear stop dragging me outside of the house

Draconianbanshee > vlad I swear how long will this last

Draconianbanshee > wtf were you thinking

Notavamp > three days, and I wish I could tell you

3catholic5u > you two are crazy for agreeing to this

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Me? Crazy? I should get off this unicorn and slap you.

Thespaqueen > wow ok but pls how can you slap anyone as Francis 

Thespaqueen > No offense but you’re a pretty dainty person

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Fuck

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > How can I even see a unicorn as France?

Draconianbanshee > no one told me abt the seeing unicorns bit please fill me in

Thespaqueen > It’s an expression i think idk anymore after yesterday’s chat

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Its literal. Vlad, Lukas and I can see mythical creatures and basically do anything with magic.

Draconianbanshee > Because that definitely clears it up

Thespaqueen > wait it’s not an expression oops

Vikingking > how did you even find a unicorn?

Notavamp > not now Lukass

Draconianbanshee > greatest name ever

Vikingking > I was starting to like you, you know

Draconianbanshee > I have that effect on people tbh

Thespaqueen > ok but I know she’s growing on me

Draconianbanshee > I feel accomplished

Thespaqueen > √√√

Hungaryandhungry > are we gonna embrace this or 

3catholic5u > one I get used to being a girl, sure

3catholic5u > how the fuck do you people do this

Draconianbanshee > idk practice maybe

Thespaqueen > “practice”

Draconianbanshee > you’ll figure it out

Thespaqueen > ha

Hungaryandhungry > No but can we please actually do something I wanna see how awkward it’s gonna be in public

Draconianbanshee > yeah, but he doesn’t know how to swear like a girl

3catholic5u > don’t you just call everyone basic and a bitch in public?

Thespaqueen > is that what we all sound like because I don’t really swear outside of the chat

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > That’s how american teenagers swear, as far as I know.  
Tru tho  
Thespaqueen > oh please just do that in public please

Draconianbanshee > plz don’t embarrass me

3catholic5u > not making any promises here 

Iceicebby > I’m gonna go to the airport so have fun losers I’m picking up Lukas’s mess

Vikingking > yeah I need to explain something to Den now

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Can someone explain why I know how to cook without burning everything? WTF is going on here??

Thespaqueen > haha.. Witchcraft

Thespaqueen > ha

Thespaqueen > hahA

Draconianbanshee > too cringy but well played… sorta not really no

Thespaqueen > I will fight you

Draconianbanshee > You’ll just throw away your shot

Thespaqueen > ok you’re my new best friend ok ok

Hungaryandhungry > kick me to the side but I’m actually you right now

Draconianbanshee > wait you guys are into Hamilton

Draconianbanshee > I’m perplexed 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I thought that was my line

Mybrothersavampire > im b a ck

Iceicebby > I’m about to board a plane and I look to see the five y/o here is drunk and also that Adela’s now here with her new best friend™ 

Draconianbanshee > ok I’ve heard stories of how Arthur get when he’s drunk and I don’t want to be a witness so don’t encourage him plz for the love of God

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > …

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Wait if I’m Francis, and if I already know how to cook, maybe I’ll drink better in this body.

Thespaqueen > well Idk if im in because as you can see I’m not really,,

Thespaqueen > Myself

Thespaqueen > lately

Thespaqueen > ha ha im so funny ha

Draconianbanshee > haha no

Draconianbanshee > but i’m in if we’re having a drinking contest

3catholic5u > uh,,, yeah sure why not

Hungaryandhungry > That’d be a good way to see each other in person

Iceicebby > minor *sips apple juice”

Draconianbanshee > wait aren’t the minors here a few centuries old why can’t they drink?

Iceicebby > Oh yeah, plus I’m not even in my own body so

Vikingking > You’re not drinking

Vikingking > not a chance

Vikingking > yeah but I’m in though

Iceicebby > not in my body you’re not

Iceicebby > I’m not even in the country so I swear if something goes wrong

Iceicebby > I’m blaming you

Vikingking > you’ll heal, so just chill, ice

Iceicebby > that’s funny but pls it seems like you have my shitty logic now

Vikingking > did that switch? Vlad, I’m blaming you

Notavamp > fuck u 2 frien

Iceicebby > wait i don’t get it isn’t this just a body switch I was being sarcastic

Vikingking > yeah but here’s the thing I feel at least 30% dumber

Thespaqueen > I’ll tell you I’m feeling 20% cooler

Iceicebby > Jesus christ how many kids shows do you watch

3catholic5u > *Christ

Thespaqueen > With you? All of them

love&rosesaesthetic > wait wait do I need to come to the drinking contest as… him?

Thespaqueen > wow yes

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’d like to see me drunk, if that makes any sense.

Thespaqueen > Theory: Well what if the reason you always get really really drunk quickly is because you’re always in a constant state of drunken-ness

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Haha, no.

Draconianbanshee > Czech, the philosophy major

Thespaqueen > I’ll take a bow of shame that was the dumbest shit I’ve ever said

Hungaryandhungry > the fact that she said that out loud out of my mouth and typed it with my fingers,,

Hungaryandhungry > I feel violated as fuck

Notavamp > so… is the contest on or not?

Vikingking > yeah of course

Iceicebby > nO OK No

love&rosesaesthetic > wait Vlad aren’t you in your brother’s five year old body rn? I don’t think you can drink

Notavamp > ...apple cider then

Thespaqueen > Eliminating the competition before the game starts

Hungaryandhungry > If Adela supports the game it’s already guaranteed to be a bad one so

Draconianbanshee > lets do it! My place maybe?

Hungaryandhungry > Last time we played a game Adela supported we all fucking died and we all now lowkey hate eachother so 10/10 thanks for that

Draconianbanshee > wait did you actually die or

Hungaryandhungry > yes

Thespaqueen > C’mon it wasn’t that bad just kinda bad and by kinda I mean pretty

love&rosesaesthetic > ^^^ no 

Notavamp > we were all #triggered

Hungaryandhungry > glad ur able to laugh at it now ya dick

Draconianbanshee > um girls girls you’re both pretty calm ur butt

Hungaryandhungry > hell yeah

Thespaqueen > Don’t you mean I’m beautiful yeah ur welcome

3catholic5u > ha

3catholic5u > haha

3catholic5u >hA

3catholic5u > ok I’m a girl now am I doing it right

Thespaqueen > I’m a bad example

Iceicebby > I would never know also I’m at the airport and nobody’s gonna pick me up so I’m just gonna walk to his place tbh

Vikingking > don’t fuck up anything in my body except your relationship bc wtf have you 2 been doing

Iceicebby > watcH ME

Vikingking > k have fun don’t die don’t rip my clothes 

Iceicebby > just watch me

Iceicebby > You ruin my relationship, you get drunk in my body, here wow so terrible you have a ripped shirt now

Vikingking > I can break everything Sve owns in your body and get Den to maybe go at you with his axe when we switch back so don’t try me

Iceicebby > You started it tho

Vikingking > no you did

Iceicebby > No you did

Vikingking > no you did.

Iceicebby > NO YOU DID

Vikingking > NO YOU DID!

Draconianbanshee > boys boys you’re both idiots have I settled it? 

Iceicebby > seriously though I may have ruined your shirt not at all on purpose at all

Vikingking > excuse me for a minute while I go break everything and steal an axe or two

Iceicebby > Excuse me while I uh tear off your arm or something

Vikingking > that’s only going to hurt you, not me

Iceicebby > till you get back in your body

Vikingking > by then it would have stopped bleeding/hurting and I could just cast a spell or something

Iceicebby > true but what’s the reason to like undermine my life because I ruined your fucking shirt you have the samE EXACT ONE

Vikingking > idk just bored

Iceicebby > did you do anything already

Vikingking > I mean I stole a few axes but other than that no

Iceicebby > put them back befoRE HE SEES

Vikingking > one’s going in your room

Iceicebby > CMON I’LL BUY YOU A NEW SHIRT DONT FUCKING

Vikingking > look I can’t trust you in my body you might mumble something and summon the minotaur 

Thespaqueen > tbh your family is terrifying

Iceicebby > but what’s the point of doinG THIS

Notavamp > we can summon the minotaur?

Iceicebby > fun pls put the axe back

Vikingking > nah I’m good

Iceicebby > pleasE

Vikingking > maybe I’ll consider it

Iceicebby > pleasEE

Vikingking > hm… maybe

Iceicebby > may I remind you you technically ruined my relationship by sending that text and the only reason I managed to ruin your shirt is because I’ve been running to my bf’s house for like half an hour

Vikingking > fine they’re back

Iceicebby > Thanks and I’ll buy you a new shirt

Thespaqueen > #resolution

Draconianbanshee > not until tomorrow’s contest

Iceicebby > I again won’t be there

Vikingking > what time?

Iceicebby > Weehawken, dawn

Draconianbanshee > be at my place by 7

Hungaryandhungry > fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow I need to stop


	29. In Which Pray 5 Vlad and Emil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow triggered jokes are gonna be a thing now :/ welcome to the chat

Hungaryandhungary >> added thespaqueen, thefabulouspolska, 3catholic5u, draconianbanshee, eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, vikingking, notavamp, love&rosesaesthetic, iceicebby, and mybrothersavampire to the conversation

Hungaryandhungary > haa gu es who fina;ly won

3catholic5u > me u idi iot

Hungaryandhungry > sur im almosy sure i w0n thoug

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > i won o corse 

Draconianbanshee > nu way I wonn

Iceicebby > If anyone got shitfaced in my body I have news for you

Iceicebby > Also tell me how tf Leon keeps whipping my ass in MarioKart

Vikingking > u caled? I uh kinda succ at it soo

Iceicebby > I told you noT TO FUCKING

Iceicebby > Well you don’t seem as drunk as everyone else you’re not keyboard rolling so that’s a good sign

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > fr0g pissed out befor

Notavamp > wait he did what

Iceicebby > ha tmi

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > *pased

Iceicebby > He’s gonna cringe when he sees this later isn’t he

Notavamp > actually he’s probably gonna smile seeing that he didn’t get in last. Maybe third actually

Iceicebby > Who was first

3catholic5u > ne od course

Notavamp > Liz

Iceicebby > How do you even read everyone else’s texts

Notavamp > practice. Way too much practice

Iceicebby > teach me

Notavamp > all will be revealed to you in time

Vikingking > hey I tink i left a ax in ur room ice

Iceicebby > You said you didn’t though I’m just gonna stay here in another fucking country then

Vikingking > sty in teh protecion of christans 

Draconianbanshee > *christains 

Draconianbanshee > *cristians

Draconianbanshee > *christians 

Iceicebby > wow not even gonna you guys are hopeless

Hungaryandhungry > mot all

Iceicebby > My point stands,

3catholic5u > im not tat bad

Iceicebby > k sure

3catholic5u > thx frend

Thespaqueen > hw d id i lose

Thespaqueen > ths is riged

Iceicebby > well I don’t know how fucked I am when I get back

Vikingking > yes

Iceicebby > that’s a good idea of what I should expect I think I don’t like being the mature one I’m the meme wtf

Iceicebby > Well it’s been day one and I’m not quite sure how this body-switch thing works

Notavamp > yeah this didn’t go like I thought it would

Iceicebby > well fuck you that this happened at all

Iceicebby > Well ok so I woke up in my own room in Lukas’s body. Does that mean the day I get back to my own body I won’t switch places with Lukas?

Notavamp > I think so… maybe... yeah

Iceicebby > The range of knowledge on your own spell is just 8/8 m8

Iceicebby > I’m asking bc it’d be awkward for Lukas to wake up next to my bf just saying

Notavamp > yeah you shouldn’t switch places

Vikingking > u2 beter not b trying anythig

Iceicebby > no I’m respecting your body, unlike someoNE 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > hey ice tat’s 2 hot 4 u chill for a sec

Iceicebby > What does that even mean

Notavamp > he wants you to calm down

Iceicebby > Thanks for the translation :|

Notavamp > oh and he wanted to make a few ice puns along the way

Iceicebby > I get that part but ????? that was shitty even for my standards

Iceicebby > #ImASkeletonWithStandards

Notavamp > Papyrus no stop

Iceicebby > why tho you’re not telling these dickweeds to stop

Vikingking > well ur a dickweeds

Iceicebby > wow thank bro I needed that to get me through the day

Thespaqueen > gt u through thaT DIKC

Notavamp > wow Czech that was amazingly terrible even for you great job

Thespaqueen > ur teribble

Iceicebby > I swear this spelling is so perfect can I please post these chats

Vikingking > nt if u wat 2 liv

Iceicebby > I’m already dead when I get back home

Iceicebby > drunken threats tho wow that’s so terrifying

Vikingking > faer me

Iceicebby > Oh dear I’m trembling

Vikingking > apsolutly 

Notavamp > wow this would have been great to record if he was still in his body, but… nah that was worth it

Iceicebby > I will fight you tbh

Thespaqueen > ym line

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > only if i wacht

Iceicebby > it’s an expression ok I’m so done with this entire chat

Vikingking > nu dont leave me heer

Iceicebby > Like the only reason I’m here tbh is to talk to the only other person who isn’t drunk and to make sure you’re not wrecking my body so

Notavamp > same tho I can’t deal with this much drunkenness on my own

Iceicebby > The committee of responsible and decent brothers: consisting of only two fucking people

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > whos teh second

Iceicebby > It’s me and Vlad in the group,,

Vikingking > not u bro

Iceicebby > am I fucking anyone or getting drunk in your body like I’m probs gonna sleep on the couch or something

Vikingking > maybe idk yet

Iceicebby > If you do anything more than what you already did and you know what I mean by that

Iceicebby > I swear

Draconianbanshee > nuu dont swer

Iceicebby > ???

Iceicebby > I need some translation

Notavamp > no don’t swear

Iceicebby > but like ??? am I five

Draconianbanshee > idk bro just mt u soo yaeh 

Iceicebby > Unbelievable 

Draconianbanshee > wut

Iceicebby > nothing at all 

Iceicebby > are you sure I can’t just leave the chat

3catholic5u > by were sic of ur sober butt

Notavamp > wtf

Iceicebby > my sober butt is offended by your cyberbulLYING IM TRIGGEREDDDD

Notavamp > please stay I need your sober butt to keep me sane with these guys

Iceicebby > fineeee but like how do I play MarioKart and text at the same time

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > i has question

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > does czech liek hungry in like a like like way or just frends

Thespaqueen > wat!

Thespaqueen > nooo o

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > so u dont like her ten??

Thespaqueen > sarcsm

Notavamp > ok how are they drunk reading drunken texts and not getting confused

Vikingking > czech like hungry??

Iceicebby > @vlad no idea tbh

Iceicebby > @lukas go home

Vikingking > cnt drive im a lil drunk

Notavamp > just a bit

Iceicebby > wait technically Vlad is allowed to drive them right?? Oh wait you guys may have to stay the night at her house bc everyone is kinda just a BIT far 

Draconianbanshee > these dude nt stying @ my place

Iceicebby > well idk though 

3catholic5u > i dont tink my place is far if u ned to stay

Notavamp > wait fuck I need to bring them there save meeeeee

Iceicebby > Rip can you even reach the pedals Idk if you can use magic in that body

Notavamp > I can’t. I tried. this sucks

Thespaqueen > and u swalow

Notavamp > wtf

Vikingking > imma walk 2 norway bye

Iceicebby > OK DONT THO

Iceicebby > Ok wait can I do magic 

Notavamp > the book should be in nor’s basement don’t do anything too stupid but wait until I’m there

Iceicebby > can you teleport to where I am with a book

Iceicebby > oh yeah fuck

Iceicebby > I’m not exactly home what’s the teleporting spell

Notavamp > page 137 I think

Iceicebby > but I’m noT HOME

Notavamp > oh right sorry

Notavamp > I have a pic of the page one sec

Notavamp > teleportationspell.png

Notavamp > word of warning, your arm might end up attached to your head but that’s never happened

Iceicebby > Ok one minute I’ll be there 

Iceicebby > k I need everyone to listen for a seconD I NEED TO GET U GUYS BACK HOME

Iceicebby > is anyone gonna listen on text cuz nobody is irl

Iceicebby > no

Iceicebby > ok

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > every1 listen to ice he migt gt coldr if u dont

Iceicebby > if that’s what it takes sure

Vikingking > wat do u want now

Iceicebby > let me teleport all of you homE PLS

Vikingking > i no trust u srry

Iceicebby > too bad I’m gonna take care of this and I’ll text you when it all gets sorted out K Vlad

Vikingking > nu majik 4 u

Notavamp > alright sure just make sure to speak clearly and don’t fold your arms or legs bc they might fuse

Iceicebby > got it

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > shit fuk nu im not bning telepoted by him

Iceicebby > ok but he was the hardest to bring back I’ll give him that

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > rude lil icecube u ned 2 chill som moar

Iceicebby > K bye guys I’m going back to my bf to kick his ass on Super Smash ok

Iceicebby > wait can I undo this can you send me the spell

Notavamp > undo which spell?

Iceicebby > the bodyswap

Notavamp > haha no that needs to be undone by me, so it’ll just wear off in like a day or so

Iceicebby > course ok well bye

Vikingking > kik his as 4 me

Iceicebby > :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> help us tbh


	30. In which Ice becomes a magical girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> like only mun Trash understands the title reference and only mun Metta knows about the ritual so wE MAKE A G R E A T TEAM (help us)

3catholic5u > ok so being a girl was weird how do you guys do that for so long

Thespaqueen > can I just say

Thespaqueen > magic

Thespaqueen > hAA

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Being honest here, I actually enjoyed it somewhat.

love&rosesaesthetic > are you suggesting I’m a girl

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > No, well… maybe. Its a good change to not hear the fire alarm every time I cook, and to actually drink fairly well.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > And I had no idea my eyebrows were that heavy.

Iceicebby > is it a weight off of your face

Iceicebby > Idk doing magic for a few days was pretty cool

Vikingking > wait what did you summon do we need to fix anything is everyone going to die what did you do

Iceicebby > Well I was told where one of the spellbooks was,

Iceicebby > AND I was sent the page to teleport,

Iceicebby > so I did just a tiny bit of the magic-y stuff here and there

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > No summoning demons?

Iceicebby > no not that I know of

Iceicebby > but I DID manage to do some small stuff like magically turn on the tv and magically win a bunch of videogames

Draconianbanshee > is that magic or luck or just both

Iceicebby > Idk but it was great

Notavamp > you learn fast apparently 

Iceicebby > does it matter what body ur in to do magic or is there some sort of initiation or what cuz that was great

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You… uh…

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well, you need need to be able to learn it, which you can

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > And if you can’t naturally do magic, then there is a spell to fix that.

Notavamp > wait what there is?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well I’ve never told you (for all I know you would cast it on a pig or something) and it’s really a ritual, and a complicated one at that.

Vikingking > but why didn’t you tell me?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Same reason, just add Mathias to the mix.

Iceicebby > Do it do it do it do it

Iceicebby > Like plsssss I wanna be a magical girl too

Notavamp > it would be wrong if we didn’t tbh, he learned how to do basic spells on his own in a few days

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You’ll need to learn how to control it, though. You’re going to be spending a lot more time with us (and I don’t mean on a phone).

Vikingking > uh

Vikingking > guys are we really considering this?

Vikingking > I guess… well…

Iceicebby > Pleaaaaaase this is gonna be so awesome

Vikingking > you’ll be training everyday and you’ll be exhausted every night for a while

Vikingking > but if you can commit to that,

Vikingking > then I’m in

3catholic5u > wait seriously you never agree to anything

Iceicebby > niceeeeee

Iceicebby > besides who sleeps anyways when you can text your friends all night

love&rosesaesthetic > me maybe?

Iceicebby > well ok,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > The ritual is fairly demonic. You need to be killed by Lukas for this to work.

Iceicebby > well idk I guess I’m fine with that (fuckk)

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > With a twisted dagger stained with the blood of everyone performing the ritual and a goat

Iceicebby > is that where goat simulator came from

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > No, but I think Vlad still has the dagger somewhere. I have the skull we need for it, and Lukas needs to set up the runes.

Iceicebby > Jesus Christ ok ok I’m coming home hold on can someone come and get me bc I’m not stealing any more from Lukas for a plane ticket,

Vikingking > I’ll come, but why do I need to set up the runes?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > The book says someone with ice-based powers, and you’re the only person we know of with those.

Notavamp > where are we getting the goat tho

Iceicebby > can you not summon a goat

Iceicebby > idk do I need to bring one

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Yes

Iceicebby > got it ok I’m gonna go find a guy who knows a guy who has a goat,

Vikingking > just to get this straight,, I’m drawing the runes, we each stab ourselves a little and then stab a goat, I stab Ice in the chest, and with the power of whatever demon we’re trying to please this time Ice will get magic?

Iceicebby > is my brother,, confused?? Oh boi this is lovely

Vikingking > that’s bc a part of its missing, there’s always a closing part to it where your body will probably get sucked into another world for a few minutes.

Iceicebby > so in short I wait three days while you completely destroy my body,, ok

Iceicebby > you almost ruin my relationship,, ok

Iceicebby > ok so suddenly to make up for it you have to stab me?

Iceicebby > That sounds justified let’s do this

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > One more thing

Notavamp > what now?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Ice, don’t piss off the demon. You’ll need to say a few words to him just asking for the power. If we did everything right he’ll accept, but if not you might be stuck there until we find a way to get you back.

Iceicebby > OH BOI THIS SOUNDS FUN IM NOT SCARED AT ALL

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Yeah, don’t do that.

Vikingking > so… I really need to stab Ice in the heart, or…?

Notavamp > yes. Yes u do

Iceicebby > lovely

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Oh, if I screw up reading the spell itself it has the same effect.

Vikingking > wonderful

Notavamp > wait would Ice have ice-based powers or earth-based powers?

Iceicebby > well

Iceicebby > idk is it a name pun or something actually based on real life

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Actually, this should make him a chaos mage for obvious reasons.

Vikingking > he’s just summoning frogs 

Iceicebby > is it pepes or bois cuz I will do both

Iceicebby > #GetUAManWhoCanDoBoth

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > The thing is, you’ll need a counterweight animal that actually describes all aspects of your personality. So, not really a frog. If you don’t have one you may be either torn to shreds, driven to insanity, consumed by darkness, or just being sucked into another dimension never to return.

Iceicebby > so… no serious consequences then?

Notavamp > yeah this happens all the time

Vikingking > definitely

Iceicebby > k but what animal though

Iceicebby > this is an excuse to get that pet I’ve always wanted lukAS

Vikingking > this pet is basically going to be partly possessed by darkness and will be able to transform into a hulking war machine at will, so it would be pretty cool to get one now

Iceicebby > So def not the dog then Peter doesn’t need such responsibility in his life

love&rosesaesthetic > is everyone else just watching this bc I am

3catholic5u > same

Thespaqueen > same

Hungaryandhungry > can I post this somewhere

Draconianbanshee > so Ice is going to be a chaos mage then... damn

Draconianbanshee > wait wait what if he turns out like the chaos mage in young justice pretty sure his name is Klarion if but he has that orange and black house cat Teekl that can turn into a freaking beast when he wants him to? Not sure I trust this guy w/ that sort of power tbh. He could end the world as we know it

Vikingking > yeah, but he won’t

Iceicebby > Jeez chill 

Iceicebby > neeeeerd

Iceicebby > Gohan is a neeeeerd

Draconianbanshee > and your point is?

Iceicebby > Gohan is a neeeeerd

Iceicebby > please look that up I’ll wait

Thespaqueen > I won’t I’m watching the young meme grow up to become a wizard

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Your power will reflect your emotion of course, which really stinks sometimes for anyone with magic, so try not to get too mad. Ever.

Iceicebby > so don’t follow your example, get an awesome pet, and be chill. Got it

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > What do you mean don’t follow my example?

Iceicebby > you’re always angry it’s just your state of being

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > fuck I just made my room erupt in poison ivy and jagged rocks give me a sec

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Yeah, I see your point.

Iceicebby > always

Iceicebby > it’s

Iceicebby > your

Iceicebby > state 

Iceicebby > of 

Iceicebby > B E I N G

Notavamp > can’t argue with that logic, but at least I don’t create a fiery inferno too often

Iceicebby > I feel like honestly I’m gonna become the greatest one here bc I’m just way too chill

Iceicebby > hAA sorry puns are just :\

Iceicebby > my thing :\

Vikingking > well, you do play undertale almost 24/7 so…

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > A chill chaos mage isn’t a very powerful one, but a great deal safer at least.

Iceicebby > I’m not gonna murder anyone ever 

Iceicebby > I say thinking of murder

Iceicebby > always thinking of murder

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > …

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > …

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > no comment

Draconianbanshee > isn’t that… nice

Vikingking > There’s also something that happens where you become one with your power basically, and you’re almost an unstoppable force unless you’re up against Czech.

Vikingking > I’m done bringing that up ok but it’ll just be a vortex of darkness and basic epicness

Iceicebby > wow opening old wounds, pouring on salt, bro I’m worried abt you

Thespaqueen > Wow you’re still so bitter

Thespaqueen > nah but honestly chaos mages are just kinda op so.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Not really. Okay, maybe just a bit. It takes a lot of control not to be consumed by it and become a demon-slave.

Iceicebby > I’m gonna surpass all of you losers get on my l e v e l 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > do you want me to fucking poison, stab, dismember and disembowel you without moving an inch I swear ice you need to chill

Notavamp > Artie calm down

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m calm, I’m calm

Iceicebby > are you ever 

Vikingking > he’s really not

Notavamp > on a separate note,, sorry I got nothing but I can’t let Artie kill u just yet

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > guys there is a tree with oddly sharp branches trying to impale me

Vikingking > I mean my room just freezes over, floods, or it just starts raining or hailing wtf artie calm down

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m calm, I’m fucking calm, I am o-fucking-k

Iceicebby > what does vlad do when he get’s mad

Notavamp > fiery inferno, pools of lava, all that good stuff

Iceicebby > wait but your powers aren’t predominantly based on emotion but instead elements right

Notavamp > Yeah, so you’ll have this this but bumped up a notch

Notavamp > have fun man good luck not destroying things

Iceicebby > how do you even know I’ll be a chaos mage though

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > This is the only ritual to give you powers, and is specifically for chaos magic. Why else would the ritual be so damn demonic? Come on Ice, if there’s a goat involved you know it must be bad.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I mean, unless you only want to be able to talk to bugs and that’s it. No simple spells, just bugs.

Iceicebby > sign me the fucK UP FOR THE EVIL STUFF

Vikingking > It’s only evil if the intent is, so don’t go on a murder-spree. Chaos mages already have a bad enough reputation

Iceicebby > k

Iceicebby > sure thing fren

Notavamp > just don’t forget the goat ok?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rip this too way too long to write


	31. In Which Ice Almost Tears Apart the Fabric of Reality

Iceicebby > remember how you guys asked me to summon some simple things just to practice

Iceicebby > small objects, small animals, things of that nature

Notavamp > please don’t tell me you did something bad

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > What do we need to clean up?

Iceicebby > I made three new friends

Iceicebby > do we have to get rid of them

Vikingking > depends on where they’re from

Iceicebby > Pokemon Go

love&rosesaesthetic > add Spark plz

Iceicebby > ssshhhhh Im doing a builduP

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > wait can you add Candela

Iceicebby > as I was saying I summoned the team leaders they’re so awesome

Notavamp > add Blanche plzzzz

Iceicebby > Do she got skype??

Iceicebby > she do now

Iceicebby > Spark and Candela do too now but like??????

Iceicebby > I’m so surprised they didn't fizzle out of reality yet

Iceicebby > can we keep them

Vikingking > the thing is, they are a reality now, so…

Vikingking > congrats you have three friends that rip apart the fabric of reality

Iceicebby > since when have gays ever tried to damage the fabric of anything

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I have a history of trying to rip apart the fabric of reality so...

Iceicebby > well anyways can we keep them

Vikingking > not for long, they belong in pokemon go waiting to greet you at level five. No one is there right now!

Thespaqueen > somewhere in the world a lonely level five can’t use a gym

Draconianbanshee > can confirm that lonely level five is me where are the leaders wtf have you done

Draconianbanshee > looks like I can’t join instinct just yet

Hungaryandhungry > all of the gyms aren’t working and oh look the server’s down hoW FUN

Draconianbanshee > ok plz add the leaders I need to see this

 

Iceicebby >> added dankmemedreamteam, eternal.flame.baby, and youre-shaking-the-table

 

Youre-shaking-the-table > can someone please explain why we’re here and why this guy is a chaos mage

Eternal.flame.baby > OK but there was a match goinG ON WHYYY

Youre-shaking-the-table > Candela, calm down 

Eternal.flame.baby > I SWEAR UR JUST MAD CUZ UR GUY WAS ABOUT TO LOSE

Iceicebby > I’d like to introduce you to Ruby Sapphire and a meme

Iceicebby > the team leaders we all totally asked for

Draconianbanshee > wait is Spark even here why hasn’t he said anything or at least sent a meme

Dankmemedreamteam > oh hi well I mean I would but

Dankmemedreamteam > I’m too lazy right now so

Dankmemedreamteam > because I just hatched a 10 km egg so

Notavamp > ice how did you do this you just started your magic training yesterday

Notavamp > plus you were dead for three days

Youre-shaking-the-table > how is he here then?

Draconianbanshee > just tell them don’t have that conversation again

Draconianbanshee > in short they’re sorta like immortal pieces of shit tbh but I’m just a human so :/

Iceicebby > I promise this is almost believable

Draconianbanshee > not really but I read the hunger games chats and you guys are alive after that

Youre-shaking-the-table > hunger games chats…? Okay can we just go now

Thespaqueen > you just got here,,

Thespaqueen > sit back,,

Thespaqueen > make yourself at home,,

Eternal.flame.baby > UM this isn’t our home tho

Hungaryandhungry > I just realized your usernames are SU references I like them already

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I have a feeling that we’re going to start a full on team war.

Draconianbanshee > instinct whenever you get back in the game

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > valor

love&rosesaesthetic > mystic

Hungaryandhungry > mystic

Thespaqueen > valoR

Iceicebby > instinct

Eternal.flame.baby > valor

3catholic5u > ...but you’re the leader, we already knew that

Eternal.flame.baby > shhhhhhh

Eternal.flame.baby > just,,,,

Youre-shaking-the-table > instinct

love&rosesaesthetic > waIT WHAT

Youre-shaking-the-table > chill, just kidding. Mystic of course

Dankmemedreamteam > no duh

Dankmemedreamteam > and I’m just here

Dankmemedreamteam > and im also secretly all your favorite

Iceicebby > not secretly my dude,,

Draconianbanshee > true

Vikingking > Wait, is that the sound of the fabric of reality tearing? 

Vikingking > uh… leaders, would you mind if Ice sent you back now?

Youre-shaking-the-table > actually I wouldn’t so please just send us back

Eternal.flame.baby > actually I have a few quick questions

Notavamp > fabric of reality tearing

Eternal.flame.baby > as I was saying,

Eternal.flame.baby > a few questions

Eternal.flame.baby > seriously WHY ARE WE HERE

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > dead God this is a weird story.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Ok,, so Ice is a chaos mage as of yesterday, and he was training and summoned you three. That’s honestly all I want to say on the matter because it involved us killing a goat and getting him a lynx

Iceicebby > it’s so smol though

Vikingking > not when you learn how to tap into the power of having a familiar

Iceicebby > I still love him so much though

Vikingking > yeah getting a lynx was a good call

Eternal.flame.baby > second how exactly is there a connection between us and you guys if we’re in parallel universes when you guys play Pokemon Go

Youre-shaking-the-table > since when are you the scientific one

Eternal.flame.baby > sorrY MY BAD can I just be curious

Thespaqueen > oh wow she’s angrier than Arthur is

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I swear I really want to kill you all sometimes so,,

love&rosesaesthetic > that’s uh not a very good thing to think about

Youre-shaking-the-table > ok but you guys need to calm down

Youre-shaking-the-table > especially you Candela

Eternal.flame.baby > YOU KNOW I WILL ACTUALLY FIGHT YOU

Dankmemedreamteam > but will she really she loves them to much

Eternal.flame.baby > fight me,

Youre-shaking-the-table > name a time and place one on one winner takes the title of best team leader

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Name a time and place face to face

Thespaqueen > I have the honor to be,

Thespaqueen > Your obedient servant,

Thespaqueen > a. Ham

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > A. Burr

Youre-shaking-the-table > what just happened

Thespaqueen > A L E X A N D E R H A M I L T O N

Youre-shaking-the-table > who?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Really? Ok… Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?

Thespaqueen > you just said his lines pick a side

Eternal.flame.baby > im reaLLY COnfused who

Vikingking > you need to chill

Youre-shaking-the-table > here we go

Eternal.flame.baby > IM AN.

Eternal.flame.baby > JUST READ MY USERNAME

Eternal.flame.baby > anyways it’s there for a reason and it’s a really cool reference

Eternal.flame.baby > but ew what is chill

love&rosesaesthetic > how do you know about SU but not Hamilton?

Eternal.flame.baby > What’s a hamiltON is it contagious

3catholic5u > it is a deadly illness that should be feared and it had a few songs about it

Youre-shaking-the-table > ok now what is it really?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Amazing.

Thespaqueen > Awesome, wow

Iceicebby > Catholic already explained it, it’s a deadly ailment 

Youre-shaking-the-table > alright let me look this up

Youre-shaking-the-table > I listened to the first song and I don’t know what to say just why did he shoot the guy?

Notavamp > are you sure you’re not listening to the last song?

Youre-shaking-the-table > it’s called the world was wide enough right

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you just spoiled history for yourself

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > look up “Alexander Hamilton”

Youre-shaking-the-table > well I listened to it and uh

Youre-shaking-the-table > you guys have some weird interests if this is what you listen to

Iceicebby > ok but is it bad that the corners of the room have started to dissipate into nothingness and the places under the leader’s feet are burning through

Vikingking > SEND THEM BACK NOW

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ICE ITS ONLY BEEN A DAY YOU CAN’T CAUSE THE WORLD TO BE TORN APART AT THE SEAMS THIS EARLY

Notavamp > just send them back plz

Iceicebby > I’m doing it for my calm fren Vlad

Iceicebby > Sorry guys we still can skype whenever

Iceicebby > nice knowing you guys

Thespaqueen > is that @ the world or the leaders

Iceicebby > leaders hopefully not the world :\

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> removed Youre-shaking-the-table, eternal.flame.baby, and dankmemedreamteam from the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > should we come over there or are they back in the game  
Draconianbanshee > they’re back, I just chose my team

Draconianbanshee > instinct FTW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boi it's Ice's 2nd magic shenanigan and he's already almost ended the world this is going great *John Mulaney voice* so the party was going great.


	32. In Which absolutely nothing this is filler it's great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i give up

3catholic5u > satan just fucking messaged me wtf artie what have you done he sent a contact request

Thespaqueen > s a y n o

Hungaryandhungry > does he wanna be friends

Thespaqueen > h e l p

Draconianbanshee > why does satan have your username tho

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Weird story.

Draconianbanshee > got it

Thespaqueen > She’s missed so much

love&rosesaesthetic > can we just send her all of our chats

Thespaqueen > reactions

Iceicebby > send her memes with it

Thespaqueen > there’s a difference?

Draconianbanshee > doubt it

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’ll send you them later

Draconianbanshee > thx frien

3catholic5u > what the hell do I tell satan?

3catholic5u > wait I didn’t mean to make that pun

Thespaqueen > say “ um cool meeting u but I got things ur rlly great talk to you never” or something like that

3catholic5u > I can’t get him mad, he’s S A T A N

3catholic5u > BAD IDEA

Thespaqueen > You could just say “I’m an atheist”  
Draconianbanshee > hey hey just block him or something its not like you can actually go to hell you’re a nation

Notavamp > I wouldn’t be surprised if God messaged you and you started fanboying or something, but… yeah just block him.

Thespaqueen > how does this even work

Iceicebby > this,, wat,, how,, none of these ppl exist how are they speaking to yoU

Draconianbanshee > …

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I went there and talked to the guy do you not remember this

Iceicebby > H O W

Iceicebby > I need to see this with my own two eyes

Vikingking > I know the spell you in or not?

Iceicebby > fine

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > haha

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ha

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > hA

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > No one alive needs to see that. Once is enough for me, and you

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > were

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > in

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > the

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > fucking

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > chat.

Notavamp > betting $20 that there’s a deadly forest in his room rn

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > yeah there is but that’s not the poINT

Thespaqueen > he’s gonna get eaten by a tree

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > pitcher plant or venus flytrap, but not a tree. I might get torn apart by a tree, maybe just impaled, but not eaten.

Thespaqueen > oh fun

Thespaqueen > lovely

Thespaqueen > gr e a t

Vikingking > so… am I actually transporting you to hell?

Notavamp > um no?

Iceicebby > yeah do it whenever

Vikingking > teleport to Artie’s basement in 5

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > why mine?

Vikingking > predrawn runes

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Right.

Iceicebby > k guys letting you know these runes are super fancy and stuff I’m expecting something idk what

3catholic5u > you’re an imbecile

Draconianbanshee > yep

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you really are.

Iceicebby > k

Thespaqueen > where did you guys even get your books

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Britannia.

Notavamp > amazon prime

Vikingking > it just showed up one day tbh

Thespaqueen > lovely

Vikingking > isn’t hell basically chaos though? Maybe you’ll be able to get there yourself

Iceicebby > idk just send me over already

Notavamp > chaos is more a void or a black hole so

Iceicebby > JUST SEND ME OVER

3catholic5u > please don’t

Draconianbanshee > give this sucker what coming to him send him down

3catholic5u > really?

Draconianbanshee > what?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > No.

Iceicebby > cmon is it even working the things are lighting up and everything

3catholic5u > you can’t send someone who doesn’t believe in it

Iceicebby > wait why didn’t you say that before

3catholic5u > I thought it would be funny

Iceicebby > wow gee thanks

3catholic5u > np man

3catholic5u > I think he’s mad though wtf do I do I blocked him but my phone is heating up

Notavamp > its not me this time so

Thespaqueen > how many phones did you idiots break doing magic

Notavamp > um… yes

Thespaqueen > so about… 15?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Too low, try again

love&rosesaesthetic > 50?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Seems about right

Hungaryandhungry > I’m impressed

Hungaryandhungry > I was sure it’d be more

Vikingking > well, that’s only the past 2 months

Vikingking > we’ve probably broken near 500 at this point

Iceicebby > I hope none of them are mine

Iceicebby > oh yeah wait 

Iceicebby > Vlad, Lukas, Arthur,

Iceicebby > We’re all in the same room

Iceicebby > we’re texting in the same room what’s the point

Notavamp > so you can see poison ivy grow around artie’s feet while he stays completely silent

Vikingking > hey look its happening now

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > fuck you too

Thespaqueen > W H Y D O Y O U H A V E T O B E S O A N G R Y

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > it’s a talent.

Iceicebby > fun

Iceicebby > imagine what would happen if I got mad over the bodyswap thing though

Iceicebby > like yes I was mad

Iceicebby > in a secluded place in the back of an airport restroom or something

Vikingking > I mean you could have made everyone freeze or drown but hey that’s irrational

Iceicebby > Ok ok but I was so glad I was in there having a meltdown

Vikingking > I think you gave everyone a slight chill or just coated a small area in a thin layer of ice

Iceicebby > ice ice motherfucker

love&rosesaesthetic > surprICE, motherfucker

3catholic5u > some fries, motherfucker

Draconianbanshee > all rise, motherfucker

Notavamp > rue dies, motherfucker

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > disguise, motherfucker

Vikingking > heart eyes, motherfucker

Iceicebby > ITS BACK

Thespaqueen > suplies, motherfucker

Hungaryandhungry > some pies, motherfucker

Iceicebby > wrong size, motherfucker

Thespaqueen > I’m speaking for my brother: baptize motherfucker

Thespaqueen > and my other one: first prize, motherfucker

Notavamp > speaking for my brother here: supersize, motherfucker

Iceicebby > why are you like this

3catholic5u > why are you?

Draconianbanshee > the tables have turned

Iceicebby > wat

Notavamp > exactly

Iceicebby > WAT

Vikingking > do u even meme bro?

Iceicebby > are you sure the body swap isn’t still on what’s going on W A T

Iceicebby > anyways, yes I do meme I infact am meme, how is u

Vikingking > I is good

Vikingking > wtf have we done

Iceicebby > i just don’t know


	33. In Which Stale Memes

love&rosesaesthetic > Ice, I got a question for you

Iceicebby > yes fren

love&rosesaesthetic > I need some explanation for the *whispers* illegal memes

Iceicebby > O shit we talk about those in the private chat remember

love&rosesaesthetic > honestly are the slowbro memes old or not bc I see them everywhere and they’re so outdated

Iceicebby > those are v old and v dank my fren

Notavamp > are we interrupting some illegal business or just illegal dankness?

love&rosesaesthetic > uh… yes speak of this to no one this never happened

Iceicebby > i’m just helping a pal out in a new and thriving business we call memes

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > So I’m going to be putting up with memes and his usual annoyance now?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw

Thespaqueen > *slides in* DO I LOOK LIKE MOTHER THERESA TO YOU

3catholic5u > not in the slightest

Notavamp > do you even know abt Heather (heather and heather) and Veronica or not

Thefabulouspolska > *starts chant* Veronica veronica veronica veronica

Draconianbanshee > Hey ‘Ronica

Vikingking > I don’t remember that in the movie but I haven’t seen it in a while so

Thefabulouspolska > FAKE FAN

Thefabulouspolska > That wasn’t part of the movie

Thefabulouspolska > but

Thefabulouspolska > if you haven’t seen it already,,

Thefabulouspolska > here’s the link to the musical https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Vikingking > k thanks

Vikingking > after watching- fuck u too frien

Thefabulouspolska > no but there is a Heathers musical

Thespaqueen > I CLICKED THE LINk

Thespaqueen > is this payback for Tuesday

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well I regret clicking that

Thespaqueen > Well I mean

Thespaqueen > you could just

Thespaqueen > block Feliks

Thespaqueen > block Feliks 2k16

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > No…?

Vikingking > yeah sure

Thefabulouspolska > no please I have a famiLY

Thespaqueen > Not after that rick roll

Notavamp > tru

Mybrothersavampire > rip rest in spaghetti Polnad

love&rosesaesthetic > pass him the regretti spaghetti

Mybrothersavampire > eat the spaghetti to forgetti ur regretti

Iceicebby > he’s taking my place as memelord while I become the masteR WIZARD

Vikingking > sure, let’s just go with that

Iceicebby > I’m learning fast I’m v proud of myself

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well since the world hasn’t ended yet, I guess you’re doing fine.

Iceicebby > ok but im comforted by the idea that with enough training I can bring my memelord pokemon go fren back w/out destroying reality as we know it

Vikingking > he needs to stay in the game, but you might be able to create a replica without killing anything

Iceicebby > its not the s a m e

Vikingking > he’ll be an exact copy w/ all his memories except he’ll want to stay in this world

Iceicebby > its not the S A M E

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You’re not going to destroy the world and make Pokemon go crash again to get yourself a memelord friend.

Iceicebby > we had a connection like no other

Iceicebby > h e i s m y m i s s i n g h a l f

Notavamp > t h e r e w i l l b e n o d i f f e r e n c e

Iceicebby > I T S N O T T H E S A M E

Iceicebby > those arent the eyes I fell in love w i t h

Notavamp > QUICK SOMEONE ADD LEON

Vikingking > Ice you already have a boyfriend you don’t need another

Iceicebby > Spark’s not my boyfriend haa that’s G A Y

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I feel like we were all triggered at the exact same moment.

Thespaqueen > IDK about you but I’ve been triggered you cishet scum

love&rosesaesthetic > #triggerz

Draconianbanshee > you guys need to chill and just listen to the song abt blowing up a high school bc that calms everyone down

Thespaqueen > fuck yeah

Draconianbanshee > I know right?

Thespaqueen > me and my new best friend tbh

Thespaqueen > wowie

Draconianbanshee > fantabulous 

Thefabulouspolska > that’s not autocorrecting for me that’s an actual word

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > holy fuck it is

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I had no idea

Thespaqueen > you actually invented the language r i p

love&rosesaesthetic > well I mean you’re now known as the english so how did you not know that

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > oh right

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > It just sounds too… american, to be completely honest.

Thespaqueen. > wow

Thespaqueen > lovely

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > But it really does.

Thespaqueen > here’s a link to the dictionary definition: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/dQw4w9WgXcQ/maxresdefault.jpg 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Look I know the guy’s english but please just stop it already.

Thespaqueen > ok ok fine

Thefabulouspolska > Idk if I’m proud or mad

Thespaqueen > w h y n o t b o t h

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > …

Thespaqueen > anyways so uh I’m bored af

Thespaqueen > and I’m not even supposed to be on the phone

Thespaqueen > but

Thespaqueen > SOmeone ask why so I can compLAIN

love&rosesaesthetic > why would we ask?

Thespaqueen > A S K

Thespaqueen > SO I CAN COMPLAIN

Thespaqueen > IM OUT SHOPPING

Thespaqueen > IN THE O U T E R N E T

Vikingking > the what?

Thespaqueen > THE OUTERNET

Thespaqueen > who needs the outernet when you have some of the fastest internet in the world 

Notavamp > wait what’s an outernet honestly wtf

Thespaqueen > the outside world

Notavamp > I see

Vikingking > interesting

Thespaqueen > the outernet is a scary place

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Why would it be? 

Thefabulouspolska > help I live with this one

3catholic5u > there’s no helping you now

Thespaqueen > I didn’t ask to be slandered like this in my own home

Thespaqueen > I didn’t ask for this

Iceicebby > You got more than you gave and you wanted what you got

Draconianbanshee > …

Draconianbanshee > the fuck

Iceicebby > fake fan

Hungaryandhungry > anyways if you REALLY want

Hungaryandhungry > You don’t have to live with her anymore

Hungaryandhungry > ; )

Thefabulouspolska > I changed mY MIND

Thefabulouspolska > not,, doing this anyomore,, 

Thefabulouspolska > OK OK GOOD GOT IT GREAT

Notavamp > having fun talking to yourself?

Thefabulouspolska > thank

Notavamp > np man

Vikingking > what have I just witnessed

Thespaqueen > idk but at this point you and Vlad are the same person by now

Thespaqueen > wait how did the topic change so fast

3catholic5u > it’s both a blessing and a curse

Notavamp > no clue tbh

Vikingking > I didn’t even notice

Iceicebby > anyways back to what I was saying before

Vikingking > the illegal meme dealing or something else?

Iceicebby > shhh the first one is secret

Iceicebby > and I was asking about bringing sparK BACK THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR PAYING ATTENTION TO ME

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You can’t cheat on Leon with a clone of your one true love.

Iceicebby > Spark’s my friend,, that’d be so gay,

Draconianbanshee > can one of you guys PLEASE just add whoever Leon is

Vikingking > um… no

love&rosesaesthetic > I think there is a /spark/ of romance between these two

Iceicebby > but we simply can’T break the triangle up Riley! You remember what happened last time!

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > pardon

Draconianbanshee > dang these are some stale memes man

Iceicebby > thank you I harvested them from the lovely DiDNEY Channel

Draconianbanshee > stale

Draconianbanshee > 3stale5me

Thespaqueen > ireland are you triggered

3catholic5u > uh,, no

3catholic5u > why would I be?

Thespaqueen > 35

3catholic5u > its a stale meme Czech, chill

Iceicebby > such trigger much tumblr

Thespaqueen > for the love of god I’m adding Leon

Hungaryandhungry > i was afk for maybe 20 minutes

Hungaryandhungry > idk time is weird

Hungaryandhungry > but I come back to see not only my phone blew up but it blew up w stale memes

Notavamp > idk man its what we do

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I will never understand you people.

Thespaqueen > but you’ve grown to understand us,, that’s all that matters,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kms


	34. In Which Alistair tells embarrassing stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one was in the works before the suggestion for a chat with all of the older siblings even happened, so.... We're gonna do both I promise

Nessieisreal >> added 3catholic5u, eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, love&rosesaesthetic, vikingking, notavamp, iceicebby, mybrothersavampire, thefabulouspolska, thespaqueen, draconianbanshee, and hungaryandhungry to the conversation

3catholic5u > alistair what did you do this time and why are you bringing us into it

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well at least you didn’t get me killed again

Nessieisreal > Wow I was considering just saying hi but since you asked

Nessieisreal > I think it’s important I forward a certain chat over to your friends just saying

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you wouldn’t

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you wouldn’t dare

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > even you aren’t that cold

Vikingking > he killed you over a game of drunken chess

Vikingking > I think he is

Nessieisreal > Ok I’ll link it here > http://archiveofourown.org/works/7162472/chapters/17176855

Thespaqueen > he created a link for the thing rip

Notavamp > hold up there are chapters for this?

Notavamp > Iggy whatever he did I’m blaming you 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > of course

love&rosesaesthetic > I just read the chat and I have no idea who you are anymore

3catholic5u > it’s great how you just knew what he was talking about from the start

Nessieisreal > yeah he has a guilty conscience 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Okay that’s over with you can delete it now thanks

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Reasons why I’m a terrible older brother: Alistair

Nessieisreal > What are you talking about I’m the best big brother

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Only in your made-up fantasies of nessie being real

Nessieisreal > YOU DIDn’T

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I did.

3catholic5u > he’s triggered

Notavamp > I kinda want to say who’s right but I really don’t tho

Iceicebby > I’m gonna tell him

Vikingking > don’t you dare

Draconianbanshee > gosh fucking damn it with the frozen references

Thespaqueen > it’s back

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’ve tried to tell you he’s not real, but you’ve never listened.

Iceicebby > he can be real depending on what you believe-

Vikingking > Ice no we don’t need you almost ripping apart the fabric of reality again

Iceicebby > but what even is reality

Iceicebby > \- Jaden Smith at some point probably

love&rosesaesthetic > life is an illusion but no one really cares abt that so we keep going on with our pointless lives but hey

Iceicebby > wow who is this

Thespaqueen > are we not taking the opportunity to roast Artie tho

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > We are not taking the opportunity. Please.

3catholic5u > he is a changed man

Hungaryandhungry > Lapis I’ve changed,, you’ve changed me,,

Thespaqueen > NO TOO SOON THAT WAS TOO SOON

love&rosesaesthetic > so are we roasting him or not

Nessieisreal > I just can’t believe you said that about Nessie

Nessieisreal > But then again Jenny Greenteeth can’t be real either

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You know she is

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Remember that time when she tried to kill me?

Draconianbanshee > ok has everyone tried to kill you at some point

Nessieisreal > why wouldn’t they

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > More or less.

Nessieisreal > no but here’s the thing: Arthur is actually bent on being rude until someone says the same thing to him

Nessieisreal > storytime

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > fuck no

3catholic5u > fuck yes

love&rosesaesthetic > oh yeah let’s do this

Nessieisreal > Oh yeah ur his bf I feel so bad for you

love&rosesaesthetic > are you kidding this is gonna be great

Nessieisreal > it involves his eyebrows

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > not this one

Nessieisreal > what, do you want to tell it then?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > how about no

Nessieisreal > he was just a kid, only a few hundred years old, when he first started doing magic and all of that. He found a page hidden in britannia’s closet on curses, and he just happened to choose the one that would add two weights to his forehead for the rest of his life. What really stinks is that some people in his family now share the pain.

Nessieisreal > he chose the one

Nessieisreal > about eyebrows

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > guilty as charged

Nessieisreal > You plead guilty? Will you change your life around from here?

3catholic5u > he should just wiggle his eyebrows in agreement

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Yes to the first, but no to the second.

Nessieisreal > three months on the island

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Since when do you like O'Henry? 

Nessieisreal > I don’t but I had to ok

Vikingking > so his eyebrows are cursed then

Vikingking > actually cursed

Draconianbanshee > well damn

Thespaqueen > Pls do me a favor tell more stories

Nessieisreal > Vote now on your phones do I expose Arthur further

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I swear I have a few things so say about you and none of them end up pretty.

Nessieisreal > bring it

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You’ve almost let me drown twice, you’ve killed everyone in your family at least once for idiotic reasons, you almost let me burn alive a few times (and I don’t mean those witch trials), and you have a stupid belief in a magical fish that has never existed.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Shall I continue?

Nessieisreal > well you still,, suck

Vikingking > bravo

Nessieisreal > why am I here again

Notavamp > just scroll up

Nessieisreal > it isn’t reason enough I can’t do this anymore

3catholic5u > are you saying you ran out of insults

Nessieisreal > I’m just saying it’d be a shame to waste them here

Vikingking > an insult dealt is not an insult wasted

Nessieisreal > fair, but what’s the point if it’s dealt to anyone here it’s like saying you beat a five year old at anything at all

Nessieisreal > pretty pointless

3catholic5u > hey, if you’re out of material you could have just said so

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > That last one was weak, and I mean weak even for you.

Nessieisreal > Weak shouldn’t be a word in your vocabulary

Nessieisreal > coming from someone who refuses to drink from the skulls of your enemies like in the good old days

3catholic5u > you know I actually miss that sometimes

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > And this is why I represent the UK at world meetings.

Thespaqueen > can I join your family I’ll trade

Thefabulouspolska > TAKE HER I SPEAK ON BEHALF OF ALL OF THE WEST SLAVS

Draconianbanshee > question for Alistair- ok but is it just the skulls or do you drink the blood too (not you vlad chill) and do you do anything else with the body of your enemies or is skulls the only thing

Nessieisreal > I’m not an animal, you don’t just drink blood

Nessieisreal > you have to put it in your stews and such, and even then you have to season it first

love&rosesaesthetic > what kind of seasons do you even put in blood

Nessieisreal > the rainy kind

Nessieisreal > BUDUMTSSSS

Nessieisreal > nobody answered do I have to explain it

Vikingking > listen, I get enough puns from Ice

Vikingking > you don’t need to join him bc he’ll figure out a way to bring them to life

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Dear God don’t encourage him.

Iceicebby > you called

Iceicebby > I heard the word pun

Vikingking > fuck no just think of the eyes of your one true love spark just not puns

Iceicebby > I DONT LOVE SPARK

Iceicebby > he’s just my friend,, the one person who truly understands me,, my missing half

Vikingking > your one true love would work nicely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes the "skulls of enemies" thing is from that one tumblr post


	35. In Which Leon joins for a brief five minutes or something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love how we always end up doing ideas just before people suggest them like the Moldova having more lines AND adding Leon were both suggested right after the chapter was written so there's that

Vikingking > you guys mind if I add someone?

love&rosesaesthetic > go ahead

 

Vikingking >> added weebpyromania to the conversation

 

Iceicebby > L E T M E L I V E

Iceicebby > RUin my relationship one, k FUCK OFF

Iceicebby > twice is a no go

Thespaqueen > send ****the screenshots****

Vikingking > icesonetruelove.png

Weebpyromania > wat

Weebpyromania > before I open this, be honest for one second

Weebpyromania > will this ruin my relationship or not because that may change my decision of doing so,,

Thespaqueen > doing so to the ruined relationship or opening the file

Weebpyromania > yes

Draconianbanshee > k so ice summoned spark from pokemon go, and when he had so send him back he asked if he could keep spark here. When the guys told him spark could be cloned,

Draconianbanshee > he said a few things relating to ‘those aren’t the eyes I fell in love with’ and shit like that

Weebpyromania > u trolling?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Didn’t Leon tell you he’s a chaos mage now?

Weebpyromania > well I mean I saw in the bodyswap he could do magic

Iceicebby > well excuse me for not letting you in on the small secret that I can do magic myself now

Notavamp > he’s gotten good fast, but he’s still a trainee

Weebpyromania > oh cool

Vikingking > we’re just lucky that ice is chill most of the time

Iceicebby > chill as ice

Thespaqueen > open the images now cmon Leon

Thespaqueen > /Pussy/

Draconianbanshee > open the images

3catholic5u > stop having them be closed

love&rosesaesthetic > did you really just do that

Draconianbanshee > you’re surprised?

love&rosesaesthetic > nope

Weebpyromania > Ok I’ll open them only because that was 8/8 m8 well memed my friend

Draconianbanshee > thank

Weebpyromania > thank the dank

Weebpyromania > ok I opened the pics and Idk if I should be ashamed or not

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > depends on what team you’re on.

Weebpyromania > Well mysTIC AND IM ASHAMED THEN

Weebpyromania > at least it’s not valor

Thespaqueen > I’m right here,,,,,,

Thefabulouspolska > really you can’t spot… any reason?? To be mad other than that?

Weebpyromania > nope

love&rosesaesthetic > well then

love&rosesaesthetic > that’s uh… nice

Iceicebby > told you guys

Mybrothersavampire > that feel when u relationship is more open bc of memes

Iceicebby > it’s not open?? Sparks just my friend

Notavamp > hold up you’re still here??

Mybrothersavampire > me? Yes ofc

Notavamp > and you’ve been putting up with out shit in silence for so long

Notavamp > wow

Notavamp > just wow

Mybrothersavampire > and lowkey livestreaming it

Iceicebby > he’s growing up to be a young meme and he’s only like nine I’m so proud

Iceicebby > wait you’ve been livestreaming this entire chat

Mybrothersavampire > all of it

Mybrothersavampire > idk if it’s more funny of this guy watching rn is the real or fake Putin tho

Mybrothersavampire > if it’s fake, then wow someone is so well memed they created an rp acc for Putin

Mybrothersavampire > if it’s real, then wow Putin is so well memed

Mybrothersavampire > it’s limbo

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > fantabulous

Thefabulouspolska > #Petition2HateHimEitherWay 

Thefabulouspolska > shh,,,, like one day he’s gonna hear these somehow so shhhhh

Notavamp > wait he hasn’t already?

Mybrothersavampire > /we’d be dead/

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...Alright then.

Vikingking > what just happened exactly?

love&rosesaesthetic > no clue

Thespaqueen > ofc Francis has no idea but I mean 

Thespaqueen > we all know why

Thespaqueen > *ehem* I mean Ivan would of course always want to be on Francis’s good side   
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Thespaqueen > idk how you haven’t noticed he has like an infatuation w you at this point

love&rosesaesthetic > hasn’t everyone at some point?

Notavamp > fuck no

Thespaqueen > ha! No.

Hungaryandhungry > not really

Vikingking > nope

3catholic5u > not in the slightest

Draconianbanshee > do I really even need to say anything here

3catholic5u > why do I have a slight feeling that one person among us is blushing

Notavamp > come on, who would have a crush on that douchenozzle?

Hungaryandhungry > shut uP

Thefabulouspolska > again that didn’t autocorrect

Thefabulouspolska > that’s a real word

Hungaryandhungry > shut uPPP

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Honestly, what the fuck were people thinking when they came up with that? First fantabulous, and now this?

Thespaqueen > who made the language though

Thespaqueen > that’s right

Thespaqueen > rlly tho

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I blame the romans.

Iceicebby > we don’t talk about them #triggered

love&rosesaesthetic > how come everything is based off of latin anyways?

Thespaqueen > because someone was too lazy to come up with their own language

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You’re one to talk.

Thespaqueen > how come?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You didn’t invent the premise for your language, it’s Slavic-based

Vikingking > that was weak

Thespaqueen > yeah

love&rosesaesthetic > wait so you’re saying that Ivan…

Thespaqueen > how do you not know this

love&rosesaesthetic > well he’s Ivan. if I knew i’d be subconsciously denying it so my conscious self wouldn’t know

Notavamp > why do you suddenly get so sciency or deep every once in awhile

love&rosesaesthetic > no clue it just happens

Iceicebby > well ok but like I just received a call from an unknown number asking if my refrigerator running

Iceicebby > I am the ice in your refrigerator frien

Vikingking > remember when you didn’t like ice puns?

Iceicebby > I’ll admit,

Iceicebby > I was being pretty cold then

Weebpyromania > booooo and yes that was me

Weebpyromania > I thought you were gonna actually be mad or something

Weebpyromania > last time you got a prank call

Thespaqueen > Well you remember what happened,,,, last time

Thespaqueen > Oh ruby you’re so forgetful (#roasted #RubyYouSavage)

Weebpyromania > by popular vote, storytime?

Vikingking > I’m in

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Sure

Iceicebby > I’m being cyberbullied!!1!

love&rosesaesthetic > oh but he’s your boyfriend! Isn’t this an exception?

Iceicebby > tru tru

Weebpyromania > yeah I get a pass to be an asshole ok

Iceicebby > when you put it that way

Vikingking > its cool, enlighten us

Iceicebby > it’s not cool I’m reporting you!!1!!!111!!!1!!11!!!!!1

Weebpyromania > to who

Iceicebby > idk skype can you even do that

Notavamp > its a skype chat, who’s going to see?

Iceicebby > *whispers* the skype people

Iceicebby > the skeaple

Thespaqueen > am I seeing SU references or is that just me

Mybrothersavampire > I’ll tell you who’s gonna see

Mybrothersavampire > the youtube-livestream-watchers

Thespaqueen > who streams on youtube anymore

Mybrothersavampire > BDTV?

Mybrothersavampire > just pls

Mybrothersavampire > subscribe to my channel out of pity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happened last time? idk guys you can decide at goldfishfun.com
> 
> sorry I had to
> 
> also I really wanna make an actual legit youtube channel for Moldova to use and post the making of episodes there or something i'm not sure yet


	36. In Which none of the Nordics can sing. Actually none.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rip

love&rosesaesthetic >> added eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, 3catholic5u, thespaqueen, hungaryandhungary, draconianbanshee, mybrothersavampire, notavamp, vikingking, iceicebby, and thefabulouspolska to the conversation

love&rosesaesthetic > Arthur, serious question

love&rosesaesthetic > you’re country is England, but what’s an Eng?

Iceicebby > do you mean egg

love&rosesaesthetic > last I checked it wasn’t eggland, so… no not really

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well, um

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you see, it’s…

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > fuck I can’t remember

Thespaqueen > what 

Thespaqueen > where did this come from

Hungaryandhungry > I was gonna ignore the chat and I saw eggland 

Notavamp > this is a crisis Artie forgot what his name means

3catholic5u > come on even I know what Ire means so why can’t you remember Eng?

Draconianbanshee > ok the chat’s been dead for maybe 15 minutes somebody ask him already

Thespaqueen > Idk it’s too harsh on my pride

Mybrothersavampire > people are leaving the stream I’ll ask now

Mybrothersavampire > whaaat

3catholic5u > basically Ireland comes from Eriu + English land. Eriu comes from proto-celtic Iveriu, and it means prosperous.

3catholic5u > sadly enough Artie had some part in my name

Draconianbanshee > you just had to get that out of your system, didn’t you?

3catholic5u > haha,, yep

Mybrothersavampire > ok I didn’t ask to learn though

Mybrothersavampire > I’d be in school if I wanted to learn

Mybrothersavampire > can we go back to aimless screeching now

love&rosesaesthetic > but honestly what’s an Eng

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Google it.

love&rosesaesthetic > The name "England" is derived from the Old English name Englaland, which means "land of the Angles". The Angles were one of the Germanic tribes that settled in Great Britain during the Early Middle Ages. The Angles came from the Angeln peninsula in the Bay of Kiel area of the Baltic Sea.

Thespaqueen > I call copy-paste bullshit

Thefabulouspolska > you forgot your actual name a little while ago

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Right… that’s why I tried to forget.

Notavamp > Englaland

Notavamp > never letting that one go

Iceicebby > I really want to change your contact in my phone to Englaland “egg” England Eggfriend

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ‘Land of the Angels’ is the only thing that sounds remotely good in that entire paragraph.

Iceicebby > it’s changed

Iceicebby >Eggfriend

Thespaqueen > EVERYONE CHANGE HIM TO EGGFRIEND IN YOUR CONTACTS PLS

Hungaryandhungry > his contact is now “eggfriend in your contacts”

Thespaqueen > sh

3catholic5u > why eggfriend why not Englaland

Iceicebby > because it’s eggs

Vikingking > is this because of Spark or something else?

Vikingking > i’ve never seen you this attached to eggs before

Iceicebby > I swear

Iceicebby > no they’re just eggs

Vikingking > sure, let’s go with that

Iceicebby > STOP I SWEAR 

Iceicebby > ok guys who wants storytime abouT VLAD AND LUKAS BEING ANNOYING IDK HOW TO DO THIS ANYMORE

3catholic5u > please

Draconianbanshee > don’t hold anything back

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > As long as it’s something I can use against them later

Thespaqueen > spill

Hungaryandhungry > fine

Iceicebby > hA

Notavamp > well, I don’t have too much to hide anyways

Vikingking > I have too many secrets for it to be healthy so sure why not

Iceicebby > but first a revisit to something v important

Iceicebby > http://chongoblog.tumblr.com/post/149375004351/how-to-get-kicked-out-of-the-skype-group

Iceicebby > don’t kick me out

love&rosesaesthetic > ice why

Iceicebby > I wanted to see if I’d get kicked out

Notavamp > wasn’t that bad tbh

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > why did you even look for that

love&rosesaesthetic > I believe you had a story or two to tell us?

Iceicebby > OK YEAH

Iceicebby > WHICH ONE DO I DO WE HAVE A LOVELY ASSORTMENT OF FUCKING STORIES

Draconianbanshee > wait fucking stories as in wtf were they thinking or fucking stories like they were actually fucking stories

Draconianbanshee > please don’t tell me I was the only one that thought that

Thespaqueen > I wouldn’t be surprised if it was either

Iceicebby > no I wouldn’t know about the latter but 

Iceicebby > there are some dumb things they’ve done

Vikingking > this should be fun 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Are you going to keep us waiting or are you going to tell us something?

Iceicebby > we have the car story, the actual worst shower singing one, the slightly less bad shower singing one, etc choose a topic

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Lets go with the actual worst shower singing one

Mybrothersavampire > expose him,

Iceicebby > I hope that wasn’t sexual

Iceicebby > and ok so we set our scene in my home, where I happen to live in the room closest the the bathroom. Right down from mine is Lukas’s, which is where Vlad was waiting and watching tv and stuff (I really hope again that that wasn’t really too sexual because /tw)

Thespaqueen > /tw. watcH MY TRIGGERS!!1!

Iceicebby > that was bound to happen

Iceicebby > so IDK if you know this but Nor happens to be a complete unironic fan of frozen

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > We know all too well.

Iceicebby > so naturally I did what any good brother would do and audio-record the intense shower singing concert that was going on in the other room when you hear that on the other side of my wall is Vlad who decides to actually join in

Iceicebby > now it would probably have been more funny if it wasn’t the middle of the night and everyone was trying to sleep

Iceicebby > but two almost-grown-men singing “Let it Go” and “Do You Want to Build a Snowman” is pretty great and I will gladly link to the recording

love&rosesaesthetic > send it

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Sadly enough it didn’t surprise me in the slightest.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I just didn’t know Vlad even knew the words.

Notavamp > well,,

Notavamp > ok so I blame Lukas but it wasn’t so bad learning them

Vikingking > I completely forgot that happened

Iceicebby > Idk dude it’s pretty impossible to forget you doing something like that when you were completely sober so

Draconianbanshee > were they singing it well, though? And in the same key?

Iceicebby > nope

Iceicebby > and it went on… oh,,

Iceicebby > A FULL HOUR

3catholic5u > how are you still sane

3catholic5u > how

Vikingking > ok my voice isn’t that bad

Iceicebby > sure it isn’t

Iceicebby > suuuure

3catholic5u > I’m sure there’s some crazy spell to fix it anyways so

Vikingking > those two aren’t getting anywhere near me with a voice altering spell, knowing them I’d sound like I inhaled helium for the rest of my life

Iceicebby > no no change it you sound like the most intimidating person to ever person 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > In the brief times I’ve heard him sing, this is what I’ve figured out:

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Imagine a dying, out of breath horse. Give it a norwegian accent and a deep voice, and this distort it quite a bit. Add a cry of pain from the vocal cords themselves and you have Lukas singing.

Iceicebby > haha I remember there was a thing when Den recorded us (totally of our own free will of course) singing and Lukas tried to go really high and ended up losing his voice for like a month

Iceicebby > were you singing or gasping you sounded like you were in actual pain

Vikingking > um… yes

Notavamp > can I hear this please I need to see this

Iceicebby > sure knock yourself out

Vikingking > we all suck but you and fin singing together at least was decent

Iceicebby > I think I was fine

Vikingking > nah

Iceicebby > no,, I was good i think

Vikingking > nope

Mybrothersavampire > you weren’t but I may have gotten more views to the vid

Vikingking > was den even singing or was he just talking? I still can’t tell

Iceicebby > when you’re being forced to sing at axe-point I mean does it really matter

Draconianbanshee > wait what

Draconianbanshee > do I even want to know

Iceicebby > im kidding

Iceicebby > or is that what he wants me to say

Vikingking > well, he did have the axe next to him,,

Vikingking > and it was that dark purple and black one that he constantly sharpens,,

Iceicebby > better safe than sorry

Thespaqueen > I WILL TRADE INTO ANY ONE OF YOUR FAMILIES

love&rosesaesthetic > you have the salty family, ice had the snowy murder-y family that can’t sing, arthur has the plain old murder family, I don’t even know what to say to mine except its full of opposites and blondes, and I know nothing abt Vlad’s

Iceicebby > you have a loving and caring respectful family,

Iceicebby > cool 5 you

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well, at least you’re slightly right about my brothers.

Vikingking > snowy murder-y family,,, sure, let’s go with that

Iceicebby > it’s accurate though

Vikingking > and that’s the strange part

Thespaqueen > I don’t know how or why anyone would even anymore if you had to live in a house worrying abt manslaughter

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well, they’re not that bad.

Vikingking > den doesn’t usually kill anyone unless he’s either drunk, provoked, or having one of his moments when he basically goes back to being a viking in the heat of battle for an hour (no idea why though, he’s the only one that does things like that), so… 

Iceicebby > like every other month he goes on a rampage so if we’re not prepared like one or two of us die every once in awhile

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > saaame

Thespaqueen > wait what I don’t think I signed up for that

Vikingking > you didn’t, that’s the point

Thespaqueen > thank god

3catholic5u > *God

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > My brothers just get pissed off too easily, and soon it’s an all-out war while watching TV.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Its great!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE HAVE IDEAS FOR FURTHER CHAPTERS ITS GONNA BE GREAT. Also, if you have ideas, please feel free to suggest them.


	37. In Which last time she suggested something on such a grand scalE THEY ALL DIED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yes that is a line from the thing

Notavamp > you two wouldn’t happen to remember what happened yesterday, would you?

Vikingking > its a blur to me

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > almost nothing

Iceicebby > OH DON’T MIND ASKING THE YOUNGER ONE I SEE

Notavamp > you weren’t there tho

Iceicebby > yeah but why wasn’t I

Vikingking > not magic related

Iceicebby > oh ok

Iceicebby > don’t need you losers anyways

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I think we got chased by the police in one of our countries

Notavamp > was it in london?

Vikingking > Oslo, maybe

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > might have been both

Thespaqueen > “in one of our countries”

Thespaqueen > how don’t you remember that 

Notavamp > no memory of any of it

Vikingking > we weren’t drinking at all

Mybrothersavampire > have you been 420 blazing it

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > of course not.

love&rosesaesthetic > did someone hit you three in the back of the head with a bat?

Notavamp > maybe…?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I doubt it, but it could have happened.

Vikingking > but this guy knocked out all three of us

Hungaryandhungry > Jesus guys is there a reason you were out past 10??????? Ur grounded

Notavamp > the fuck

Hungaryandhungry > shut up

Hungaryandhungry > anyways what were you guys doing so late

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > We had a crazy idea to see if could have found a really rare creature. The night looked right for once, so it was worth a shot.

Hungaryandhungry > idiots

Iceicebby > I swear I saw you home though Lukas

Vikingking > no, you saw an illusion I created.

Iceicebby > wow is it not cool to let your bro hang out with you I’m ashamed

Vikingking > well we didn’t know very much about it, but we do know it’s poison will blind you for half an hour which wouldn’t sit well with you, it shapeshifts so we had no idea when we would run into it, and it’s overall not the greatest thing to see.

Iceicebby > rude

Iceicebby > moldova I’m gonna hang out with you now seven year olds at least don't exclude me from doing actually cool stuff

Mybrothersavampire > wow am I mad or not idk

Draconianbanshee > so… did you find the thing you were looking for?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Unfortunately we did.

Thespaqueen > around when did you guys just kinda black out

Notavamp > I think around 11:30, maybe midnight

Thespaqueen > who even suggested that though

Thefabulouspolska > I’m not even sure if I feel like asking anything this is boring

Vikingking > do either of you have that feeling that you did something you’ll regret for awhile?

Notavamp > slightly

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Nope

Thefabulouspolska > yes joining this conversation

Thespaqueen > and I’m rude

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You don’t think we…

Notavamp > we weren’t us, so maybe

Vikingking > I think so, but who?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > No one important, hopefully

Iceicebby > I’m so confused

love&rosesaesthetic > what are you guys getting at?

Vikingking > it would explain the cops

3catholic5u > are you saying what I think you’re saying?

Iceicebby > enlighten me idk what this is

3catholic5u > they murdered someone.

Draconianbanshee > that escalated quickly. Don’t even try to lighten it, just throw it down.

love&rosesaesthetic > well shit

Thespaqueen > what’s the difference you’ve already done so

Thespaqueen > ehem

Notavamp > humans don’t come back from the dead

Thespaqueen > that’s fair

Thespaqueen > WHAT THE FUCK

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > And it wouldn’t have even been like in a war, this would have been horrifyingly slow and painful for them as well. It’s not a quick shot, its being frozen, burned, and buried alive at the same time.

Notavamp > also a downside of magic-- things like to get inside our heads and control us apparently 

Thespaqueen > wait you guys were mind-controlled or something

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > We all ended up getting bit, and we still know almost nothing about what bit us

Notavamp > so… yeah

Iceicebby > ok that sucks

Iceicebby > get it

Draconianbanshee > I know you’ve seen this kind of thing before, but the human here (moi) is freaked out and doesn’t know what to think at the moment.

Draconianbanshee > a little help, please?

Thespaqueen > sure fren you have to stay away from the magic trio for fear they’ll kill you now

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > exactly what I was about to say, actually.

Thespaqueen > can’t type fast enough

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > apparently not.

Draconianbanshee > so… the whole mind-control-murder might happen again?

Iceicebby > IM MOVING

Iceicebby > I WILL MOVE INTO THE MOST TAME FAMILY HERE

Iceicebby > I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE

love&rosesaesthetic > ...I’ll be staying with Mathieu for a while

Iceicebby > I WILL JOIN

Iceicebby > I won’t deal with murder in my home but it’d be ironic to visit Canada the actual other place where we all killed eachother so

love&rosesaesthetic > ironic like memes, Ice

Notavamp > maybe Myrna should get out of there for a bit, just incase

Draconianbanshee > Well, at least I have an excuse for going to New York for a while.

3catholic5u > but you guys can teleport

Thespaqueen > oh yeah why do we have to do the moving 

Vikingking > I don’t think we were able to teleport yesterday

Notavamp > did we just stay in London, or,,

Thespaqueen > I’m so confused to be completely honest

3catholic5u > did you kill anyone famous?

Iceicebby > asking the real important questions

Vikingking > sadly we weren’t able to find Beiber, so… no.

Mybrothersavampire > you can’t kill him if he’s already undead

love&rosesaesthetic > true

3catholic5u > can’t you guys just use magic to get rid of the effects?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > we don’t even know what happened to us exactly, the poison might have been mind-altering or mind-controlling.

Iceicebby > i feel like you guys are trolling did this actually happen though

Vikingking > you didn’t see it on the news? That’s a relief

Thespaqueen > wait you guys were on the news holy crap my friends are famous

Thespaqueen > I knew if I used you for this period of time there’d be some kind of benefit

Thefabulouspolska > and I have to deal with this one daily

Draconianbanshee > so… mind altering? So its like the mad bombs in one of the Captain America comics?

Draconianbanshee > basically it emits a sound that makes you enraged and riot and go against your true thoughts so you try to kill your friends and protectors... and of course random people who aren’t affected.

Thespaqueen > NEEEEERD

Draconianbanshee > thank

Thespaqueen > I have a cool idea guys

Hungaryandhungry > remember what happened,,,,, last time

love&rosesaesthetic > might as well hear it

Thespaqueen > what if we did a thing where we switched around families for a few days just to see what it’s like

Vikingking > thank god I won’t have a moody teenager in my house for a while

love&rosesaesthetic > Lukas no

Hungaryandhungry > last time you suggested something on such a grand scalE WE ALL DIED

Hungaryandhungry > IM NOT PARTICIPATING THANKS

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Anything we do ends up in murder, so…

Notavamp > haven’t you gotten used to it?

Hungaryandhungry > I’m not doing it again sorry

3catholic5u > no way am I’m doing this

Thespaqueen > wow rude

Iceicebby > well I mean I’d feel bad for anyone who got into my home tbh

3catholic5u > same though

Thefabulouspolska > same af

Thespaqueen > we’re pretty tame tho it’s fine

Thefabulouspolska > sure because actually yelling between floors in the dead of night is normal, Adèla 

Thespaqueen > oh yeah and the routine drink-and-vent-about-earth’s-problems thing

Thespaqueen > and more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm screeching what is this chat


	38. In which everyone is done with Myrna's shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry but this one's a bit short
> 
> k that's what she said

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Czech’s idea wasn’t all that bad

Iceicebby > are you being serious or are you just really desperate to leave your family

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Yes

3catholic5u > I’m touched bro, thanks for caring

Thefabulouspolska > I can feel the brotherly love just absolutely resonating through my phone

love&rosesaesthetic > I can make an ocean from all this salt coming from mine

Thespaqueen > it isn’t me for once I’m not sure if I should be glad or not

Mybrothersavampire > and I call this piece, “sarcastic pieces of garbage”

Vikingking > well I’m still in

Iceicebby > ok but if this is because of what happened last night,,,

Iceicebby > I’m not sorry

Notavamp > well none of us are wanted men as of now, so we might as well

Hungaryandhungry > haha,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like we asked or cared

Notavamp > I mean at least no one will get arrested for this and hopefully no one will be slaughtered

Thespaqueen > knowing it’s my idea, we all will and I’ll be blamed for it again

Thefabulouspolska > can’t wait to get her out of my house angry teenagers are angry and annoying

Thespaqueen > you’re 19 you’re still technically a teenager

love&rosesaesthetic > who’s swapping with who though?

Thespaqueen > good question do I have the right to make decisions

Hungaryandhungry > no I don’t want to die again sO

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Then come armed (a.k.a. Bring a frying pan)

Hungaryandhungry > always

Iceicebby > who goes to who’s house and who’s actually in the trade

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m in

love&rosesaesthetic > I’ll do it

Vikingking > oh yeah

Notavamp > I’ll pass tbh

Mybrothersavampire > I mean if you let me into this chat I’m sure I’m allowed to do this right??

Notavamp > no.

Thespaqueen > I’m so in

Hungaryandhungry > My family is more consisted of friends than anything, mainly my ex-husband who still stalks my ig and fb so I’m gonna pass

3catholic5u > I’m with you, someone needs to make sure the poor soul that gets my family doesn’t get killed for pissing someone off

Iceicebby > I never thought I’d see the day where I’m praying not to die at the hands of some of my closest friends and I feel so attacked rn

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I think we’ve all had those moments.

Thespaqueen > shhut uppp

Love&rosesaesthetic > can we make an agreement never to bring that up again please?

Thespaqueen > deal

Thespaqueen > but I feel like more than half disagree so

3catholic5u > can you guys,, i don't know,, not kill each other?

Thefabulouspolska > debatable tbh

Draconianbanshee > here's an idea: punch the shit out of each other all you want but no faTAL BLOWS

Draconianbanshee > fairly simple concept 

Thespaqueen > oh yeah we don’t want any of that necrophilia

Mybrothersavampire > who hurt you

Draconianbanshee > i don't even wanna know m’kay

Thespaqueen > nobody hurt me but when I sold my soul to the antichrist that might’ve done something

Notavamp > what

Thespaqueen > what

Vikingking > so… the swap?

Thespaqueen > oh yeah

Iceicebby > anyways, I don’t wanna die

Thespaqueen > can I suggest who goes to who’s house or

Vikingking > oh why not have fun with it 

Thespaqueen > I did a chart thing while we were texting because /it was all a distraction from my master plan/

Draconianbanshee > alright, lets /czech/ out your plan

Thespaqueen > thanks for making me want to kms now these puns end herE AND NOW

Thefabulouspolska > you triggered my sister she’s gonna yell on fb and tumblr now this is all your fault!!1!

Thespaqueen > why am I being attacked like this

Draconianbanshee > well I'd tell you a chemistry joke to ease the pain, but i doubt I'll get a /reaction/ 

Draconianbanshee > i would make a short joke but it'll go right over your head 

Draconianbanshee > i might as well show you a book about anti gravity, it's impossible to put down

Thespaqueen > I swear

Thespaqueen > I WILL END YOU

Thespaqueen > I WILL MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT

Draconianbanshee > sorry but

Draconianbanshee > that's what she said

Thespaqueen > “i didnt rape her sir we both just happened to be naked and my dick just fell into her vagina noT MY FAULT” is the first thing that came to mind

Thespaqueen > if you actually know what I’m referencing

Draconianbanshee > nope

Thespaqueen > forget I said anything

Thespaqueen > anyways I have the idea for who’s going to who’s house

Love&rosesaesthetic > go for it

Thespaqueen > so I listed out all of our names and putting them together in groups, I got this:

Thespaqueen > nor goes to francis’s house

Thespaqueen > francis goes to ice’s

Thespaqueen > ice goes to arthur’s

Thespaqueen > arthur goes to my house,

Thespaqueen > and I go to nor‘s

Thespaqueen > that took way too long to figure out

Love&rosesaesthetic > so I'll be w/ you too?

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well ice is doomed

Iceicebby > rip me 1944-2016 rest in pepe I died for harambe ok can i just give one last pun you'll like this one

Thespaqueen > do it

Draconianbanshee > I like European food so I decided to Russia over there bc I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter ‘Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite’.

Thespaqueen > I have heard this so many times whY

Love&rosesaesthetic > did you really just make that pun? Did you really need to??

Thespaqueen > SHE DIDNT MAKE IT I heard it so many times I cant do this anymore

Hungaryandhungry > you need to sit down and calm yourself

Vikingking > hey at least I have a name pun I can use now

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You’re still stuck with Lukass.

Vikingking > damn it

Thespaqueen > time to fuck with your family

Notavamp > there was room for a romania joke too but

Thespaqueen > some puns should just romania untold right

Draconianbanshee > I'm just adding that as my as my wallpaper,, and everything,,

Thespaqueen > quiet

Iceicebby > expose the secret punlord

Mybrothersavampire > what even is this chat

Draconianbanshee > well i did know an amnesia joke, but i guess i forgot how it goes

Thespaqueen > groan groan

Thespaqueen > wait guys hold on a sec are we allowed to bring stuff or do we just eat the food and wear the clothes from there 

3catholic5u > whatever is in there you use

Thespaqueen > ok but what about this: is it cheating if we come in our own clothes and then wear that the rest of the thing or do we just change as soon as we get there

Notavamp > change as soon as you get there bc why not

Thespaqueen > fine but I really hope your clothes and food is shitty af

Iceicebby > wow that’s rude

Iceicebby > don’t eat when Den cooks tho he sucks

Vikingking > also don’t take anything from den bc he gives mixed reactions depending on who you are, and I'm fairly sure he still hates you slightly 

Thespaqueen > “I just despise you a tiny bit that’s all” is the idea I’m getting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Metta had a blast with the puns 
> 
> I wanna fkn die  
> \- Trash


	39. In Which Nor Has a different sweater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These are getting more and more random and I feel like the older a nation is the more shitty of a person they are. Also, please go to the bottom and read the note. Kinda important

Thespaqueen > guys first day in and firsT HOUR IN and I get lectured what does that say about me

Vikingking > depends on who did it and in what languages

Thespaqueen > from Den in really incorrect google translated Czech 

Love&rosesaesthetic > ...he does know you speak English too, right?

Thespaqueen > idk I respond in English and he just keeps going Idk what half of this shit even is are these even things

Notavamp > did he even try to get the accent right or was it just Danish-ish Czech? 

Thespaqueen > I CANT EVEN UNDERSTAND IT OK

Love&rosesaesthetic > I heard some of it and well

Love&rosesaesthetic > Im not sure what he was thinking but it was funny at least

Thespaqueen > idk he left a note in the room as well but it’s in English so I can actually understand it

Thespaqueen > it says that I’m not allowed to stay in the room and also a PS explaining what a shitlord I am

Thespaqueen > gee thank

Vikingking > looks like I still need to explain that EVERYONE WHO WAS ACTUALLY IN IT is completely fine, but he insists on holding a grudge that isn't worth holding

Iceicebby > I know Fin has a large collection of guns so can I just ask how everyone else is acting towards you

Thespaqueen > terrible 

Thespaqueen > like honestly the note says nobody's staying in Lukas’s room and everyone is guarding the damn thing

Thespaqueen > can you send like a thing telling me I can so I don't get shot in my sleep

Vikingking > give me a minute

Vikingking > fin still wants to shoot you but he shouldn't now and my room is no longer off limits to you

Thespaqueen > thank

Thespaqueen > I mean I'm already in here at least I don't have to hide now

Thespaqueen > idk I don't know why anyone seconded this idEA IM SUFFERINGGGG 

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > So, how are my brothers treating you, Emil? You’re not dead, so it must be at least decently 

Iceicebby > idk they’re being unnaturally friendly 

Iceicebby > I’m scared

3catholic5u > not bc of me right?

Iceicebby > idk you’re fine they’re just being weird like “wow hi how are you what's going on hi how you doing” every five min it’s getting on my nerves

3catholic5u > I didn't even notice they were doing that at all

Iceicebby > wait wait pLEASE JUST TELL ME

Iceicebby > IS THERE ANYTHING I SHOULD DO

Iceicebby > dying wasn’t fun the first time

3catholic5u > hm… Don't mention Pokemon go, don't make a comment on the red hair, don't do anything stupid

Iceicebby > DEFINE STUPID

Iceicebby > can I have people over

Iceicebby > can I just do whatever

3catholic5u > no and sure

Vikingking > ok but Alfred is driving me up a wall with all of his calls asking what happened, why this happened, wtf we were thinking, and asking where Francis is

Thespaqueen > OH YEAH you’re at France’s

Thespaqueen > how’s that

Thespaqueen > like at least you’re alone right

Vikingking > Seychelles came to visit, but other than that basically

Love&rosesaesthetic > just dont break anything and dont take any of the wine

Thespaqueen > am I the only one amused by the fact that most of us nations just casually take planes or drive over to other countries on a daily basis to visit

Draconianbanshee > damn

Draconianbanshee > i know you’re nations so you should have a bit of leeway but how could anyone afford that??

Thespaqueen > idk to be honest I have private transportation but we’re all different

Thespaqueen > so

Iceicebby > we have like a family thing so

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I have about the same. 

Draconianbanshee > just… Damn

Thespaqueen > I mean we all kinda had the chance to save over the years PLUS we’re also countries so

Thespaqueen > like actual countries 

Thespaqueen > so yeah

Love&rosesaesthetic > ok but why is ice’s family being so nice to me

Thespaqueen > wow rude

Love&rosesaesthetic > shouldn't they hate me at least a little bit? 

Thespaqueen > maybe it’s because of Nor’s text? Idk they left me alone I’m currently changing into his outfit

Thespaqueen > WAIT WHO GOT MY PLACE

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > That would be me

Thespaqueen > you’re lucky you don’t have to wear girly clothes I wish I took those so you’d have to wear my dresses or something

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Pol tried to teach me a bit about salt so I might not be driven to salt-filled insanity, but none of it helped

Thespaqueen > oh how are Slovenia and Slovakia being though

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well Slovakia did ask me a few things about the game, but other than that they've been fine

Thespaqueen > Slovenia’s just gonna stay in his room for the whole day so that’ll be fine

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > that's fine with me. 

Thespaqueen > On another note Nor this outfit is terrible wHY IS IT SO SCRATCHY WHAT IS THIS

Vikingking > it really isn't 

Thespaqueen > I dislike anyone who can find pleasure in wearing itchy sweaters

Vikingking > it's not itchy or scratchy at all though

Thespaqueen > IT IS

Vikingking > ...try the one at the back of the closet to the left. It’s a different material and should be a bit more comfortable

Thespaqueen > why do you hide your comfortable sweaters

Iceicebby > why do you do anything

Iceicebby > why do we exist

Iceicebby > reasons to live:

Thespaqueen > why did that turn serious anywaYS why hide your sweaters

Vikingking > bc if you mind all the good ones scratchy then the only scratchy one might not be to you

Thespaqueen > wow thx

Thespaqueen > great logic

Thespaqueen > update: ok it’s fine

3catholic5u > by the way he was saying it I was expecting a dress or something

Thespaqueen > ew I usually never wear dresses

3catholic5u > it just had a strange level of awkwardness to it 

Thespaqueen > idk it’s like rimmed with pink but it’s not that much

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > its what

Notavamp > holy shit I thought everything there was either blue or even darker blue

Thespaqueen > nope

Iceicebby > he kept the sweater I gave him on April Fools day I’m dead

Thespaqueen > it’s only pink thread it’s not that bad it looks like it was bleached from pink and dyed tho

Vikingking > looks like my secret’s out i have one different sweater 

Thespaqueen > #WeAllAcceptYou5WhoYouAre

Vikingking > thanks

Thespaqueen > coming out as someone with a different sweater takes courage

Vikingking > it was a terrifying moment for me

Iceicebby > wow how could you keep this from your own brother for so long

Iceicebby > well I mean I gave it to you but you still bleached it white so it coUNTS

Iceicebby > wait Arthur the doorbell rang Alfred is here whatttt

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Answer it and just try to explain everything, and bring up a meme or two if it comes to that 

Iceicebby > ok he’s mad he wasn’t invited 

Love&rosesaesthetic > tell him it's a European thing 

Thespaqueen > ye I mean I was gonna say European Gays™ but that doesn’t apply so yeah just say “sorry bro it’s a European thing”

Iceicebby > edit: ok it’s fine and hope you don’t mind I’m gonna invite friends I just am

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > As long as it isn't Leon, but if it is, don't try anything-- and especially not in my room. 

Iceicebby > aw ok and I WAS NOT GOING INTO YOUR ROOm

Iceicebby > slander

3catholic5u > just invite him

Iceicebby > yay thx

Iceicebby > ok before I even made a phone call I get teasED WHY DO I NEED TO DEAL WITH THIS IN MY OWN (not really) HOME

3catholic5u > um… It’s amusing? 

Iceicebby > ITS NOT wasn’t Wales the nice one he’s so terrible

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I thought Seamus was the nice one

Iceicebby > no lmao he’s like nice to me now but the slander in the chat provE OTHERWISE

3catholic5u > how did you think that

3catholic5u > how

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you just um

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > seem like a likeable guy…? 

Iceicebby > he’s your brother and you live with him

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > We'll I've learned to tolerate him and his act, so I mean to other people. 

Iceicebby > I mean I expected more from Wales for some reason

3catholic5u > I think everyone has had that moment where they just expect more from Wales

Thespaqueen > wow idk he just sounds nicer

Iceicebby > why are they trying to take my phone fucK IM RUNNING NOPE THEYRE TRYING TO SEND SHIT

Draconianbanshee > just sprint don't let them see

Iceicebby > I locked myselF IN THE BATHROOM IM STAYING HERE TONIGHT NOPENOPE NOPE

3catholic5u > I'll talk some sense into them, you can come out in a minute

3catholic5u > coast is clear for now

Iceicebby > thanks 

Iceicebby > ok I’m not bringing anyone into this madness how do you deal with this do I deal with this all day it’s only afternoon

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > There is logic to our madness, we just haven't figured it out yet. 

3catholic5u > tru

Iceicebby > ok but

Iceicebby > do you guys even sleep

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > usually

3catholic5u > don't you deal with this sort of thing all the time? 

Iceicebby > well it’s different there’s only one Den in our house

Vikingking > well it's a fair point

Iceicebby > ok true buT HERES ALSO ANOTHER THING I NEED TO ASK 

Iceicebby > CAN I KILL THEM

Iceicebby > PLEASE

3catholic5u > ...no

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > they won't forgive you, they'll just get even. It's not the best idea. 

Iceicebby > okaaaaay

3catholic5u > it's just that we’ve all done that and it just ended up worse for the guy that started it

Iceicebby > k

Draconianbanshee > ok why is murder a regular thing with you guys? I doubt it's very good for you mentally

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > It just… is. 

Iceicebby > it’s just how we do

Thespaqueen > rip

Iceicebby > but ok thanks I’m just gonna stay in the room until dinner or something

Love&rosesaesthetic > as a tip just order something if you can

Love&rosesaesthetic > compared to Arthur they’re decent, relatively speaking. Basically it's borderline edible

Iceicebby > I’m getting pizza

3catholic5u > rude

Iceicebby > I mean I didn’t bring moNEY BUT

Iceicebby > Still can you order pizza

3catholic5u > fine, nothing crazy though

Iceicebby > ok sure

3catholic5u > you’re at least trying what I cook tomorrow

Iceicebby > fine you can make cereal I guess 

3catholic5u > ok u need to stop

Iceicebby > sorry I’m scared to eat anything made by you or your family

Love&rosesaesthetic > it shouldn't kill you, and I'm fairly sure he's one of the better brothers when it comes to cooking

Iceicebby > fineeeeeeee

3catholic5u > it's not like Icelandic food is any better,,

Iceicebby > I WILL FIGHT YOU WHAT

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > He’ll go on a rant about potatoes. 

3catholic5u > fuck u 2 bro

Iceicebby > anyways so just a question because my family has this thing whERE WE FIGHT OVER THE LAST PIECE SO

3catholic5u > we always make a bit too much so that doesn’t happen so don't worry

Iceicebby > k thx I don’t wanna die

Love&rosesaesthetic > speaking of not wanting to die, 

Love&rosesaesthetic > what should I do if den decides that now would be a good time to go all-out viking? 

Thespaqueen > good point what do we do

Vikingking > well some part of his subconscious self will make him target Czech if she’s near, but usually he gives a warning right before it happens to anyone, whether he likes them or not

Vikingking > lock your doors and windows and barricade them is possible 

Thespaqueen > FUCK HOW

Thespaqueen > ok but how does the viking thing even work

Vikingking > we haven’t figured that out, but our best guess is a flashback-trigger sort of thing

Thespaqueen > ew 

Thespaqueen > k

Thespaqueen > so are there any triggers

Thespaqueen > jesus christ this is what happens when you live too long

Vikingking > it isn't something someone could trigger unless they’ve fought him in the past. 

Thespaqueen > oh goodie so I’m fine 

Vikingking > it tends to just happen on it's own. One small memory will spark another, and soon he's trying to kill everything in his path

Thespaqueen > WHEN I GET OLD WILL I TURN OUT LIKE THAT EWWWW

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you wouldn’t do much damage anyway, so does it really matter in your case? 

Thespaqueen > BEG TO DIFFER I CAN KILL

Draconianbanshee > ok why do I like you a bit more now it's just you're so smol

Thespaqueen > can we send you the hunger games chat

Thespaqueen > I am not smol,

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You are small, though. (And smol) 

Thespaqueen > I am not I can kill I can fight I can do stuff ok

Draconianbanshee > so smol

Draconianbanshee > protect this sunshine child she can do no harm

Vikingking > beg to differ

Thespaqueen > pls don’t call me a sunSHINE CHILD I AM NOT SMOL

Vikingking > When she wants to be she is ruthless and cold, and she fights well

3catholic5u > and that's coming from the ice guy

Iceicebby > I did not see this so?

Thespaqueen > Ok here’s the thing I am not cold ok you know exactly why I did what I did

Vikingking > yeah, but you just had this look while you were doing it, like you enjoyed it. so in short, you can be cold when you have the reason to

Vikingking > so you’re small but not very smol

Thespaqueen > thank and ok but,,,,, just a little I didn’t enjoy murdering you all that much because it was difficult ANYWAYS

Vikingking > well you were out of practice

Thespaqueen > I haven’t ever been in practice as far as I remember 

Thespaqueen > OH actually yeah

Thespaqueen > I see where you’re coming from

Thespaqueen > yeah thx

Notavamp > well she’s kinda smol

Thespaqueen > NO. I’M. NOT.

Draconianbanshee > you're a smol cinnamon roll that needs to be protected 

Thespaqueen > I’m being harassed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as you know, this story's been going strong for a while. The thing is, muns are thinking of moving onto other things. Some of which together, some of which separate. After chapter 50, there will be a long hiatus. We will be going on hiatus every fifty chapters, and said hiatuses will be spaced out with other fic goals. We will have some more information on this later though. Just letting you know, we absolutely love this fic too much to just put it to rest. Enjoy the rest, and we promise the ending will be interesting. Read the comments people leave on the story, most of them really are great. Puns, spoilers, suggestions, jokes, historical inaccuracies we may have accidentally included, the whole thing. Metta and I try to answer many of your comments, so... Yeah. also check the comments in case me and Metta have an idea we want a response to.
> 
> Now here's a question: how should this season (end of ch 50) end? We have both a suspenseful and/or silly one planned, so just let me know in the comments down below. Seriously, we love comments!! Thank you so much for giving so much attention to this shitty fic and have a lovely night.


	40. In Which Arthur Subconsciously Dreams of Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, Metta's writing the summary for once.  
> Anyways, (fuck I don't know what to say) I'm still not sure if Artie just has creepy dreams in general, he wants his brothers dead, he wants everyone dead, he watches everyone die while he sleeps, or he just has a death fetish.  
> WTF have I done to this guy

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Has anyone died yet? 

Love&rosesaesthetic > nope

Thespaqueen > still alive

Iceicebby > has anyone died? My sanity because I can't sleep soundly when someone plays the bagpipes at 2 am and then there's loud banging and yelling telling everyone to shut up and then BAGPIPES GET LOUDER AND THEN YOU CAN HERE FIGHTING WHAT IS THIS HOUSE

Thespaqueen > still alive 

Iceicebby > the answer is yes, someone died though (it's me)

Vikingking > I doubt there's anything in his house that can kill me so,,

Iceicebby > well you have it easy

Love&rosesaesthetic > well there's a shit ton of knives but other then that there really isn't much

Thespaqueen > anyone wanna ask about why I had a bad rest

Thespaqueen > no

Thespaqueen > ok 

Draconianbanshee > why then?

Thespaqueen > here's the thing: I don't know if you know this

Thespaqueen > but apparently someone came into my room while I was sleeping to make sure I didn't break anything

Thespaqueen > and left

Thespaqueen > and this happened at multiple times throughout the night

Thespaqueen > and at about 5 I had enough

Thespaqueen > and I decided to confront the person who was doing it

Thespaqueen > now it takes a special kind of person to patrol the outside of my room with a machine gun and if it wasn't for that text Lukas sent, said special person would have killed me

Vikingking > …

Vikingking > let me just send a few more texts… 

Vikingking > ok so I don't think fin will be guarding the door with a gun anymore or checking in on you, but there is no possible way I can get him to stop guarding the door from outside

Thespaqueen > like in the middle of the night I'll open the door and if he's there someone's getting hit in the face wiTH A SWINGING DOOR my sleep is at stake here

Vikingking > ok not a good idea. He’s that one overprotective mom friend that will protect their family at all costs. Add taking care of a kid and a room full of guns into the mix and you'll have a lethal war machine hell-bent on killing you

Thespaqueen > fuck ok

Thespaqueen > wait I haven't seen Peter over there once is he even staying here this week or did they send him to a friend’s because they don't trust me

Vikingking > he's at a friend’s house bc they don't trust you

Thespaqueen > I WOULDNT HURT A KID WHY ARE THEY SO PARANOID 

Vikingking > honestly after this family swap is over we’re talking to them about this in person

Thespaqueen > do I have to be there I don't want to have to be subject to Sve glaring at me

Vikingking > then stand behind me, I'm used to the glare 

Thespaqueen > that came off like a flirt wtf

Vikingking > well uh

Vikingking > um

Vikingking > oh fuck

Thespaqueen > explain yourself

Thespaqueen > I'm kidding but sTILL HOW

Iceicebby > he's unconsciously a lady’s man I can't 

Iceicebby > oh yeah and why tf is Scotland so annoying

3catholic5u > he only gets worse 

Iceicebby > and Wales is terrible too I think you're only being cool bc I'm here so how does your sister deal with all that shit

3catholic5u > no clue

Iceicebby > guys for future reference I don't recommend going to Arthur’s house but when you do make sure to find N. Ireland’s secret to putting up with annoying brothers.

Vikingking > so that's who I need to go to then

Iceicebby > one thing though: why in the name of anything does she look so much like your girlfriend 

Draconianbanshee > what

Draconianbanshee > the

Draconianbanshee > fuck

Draconianbanshee > how

3catholic5u > coincidence

Iceicebby > like besides eye and hair color your faces are probably the exact same shape and like same length hair and it's just creepy 

Draconianbanshee > what next, same name? 

Draconianbanshee > I know I need to believe the unbelievable with you guys, so can you just get a picture of her and send it? 

Iceicebby > sure thing hold on

Iceicebby > SHE MADE THE SAME POSE AS THE PIC IN YOUR INSTAGRAM PROFILE PICTURE 

Iceicebby > NIrelandLooksJustLikeyou.png

Draconianbanshee > I have a twin

Draconianbanshee > a fucking nation twin

Draconianbanshee > wait does she sort of act like me? 

Iceicebby > I haven't seen her much yet like my first time talking to her is now at breakfast and I probably shouldn't be texting under the table but here I am

Thespaqueen > the start of all beautiful relationships start with texting under the table

Thespaqueen > u sure u not cheating on Leon

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > N. Ireland does act like you to so some extent. 

Iceicebby > well she's quiet from what I can tell I did not expect that from her

3catholic5u > oh she'll get louder as she gets to know you

Thespaqueen > hey look it’s me

Thespaqueen > no but can someone tell me why there is no cereal in the pantry I can make myself for breakfast what is this terrible place

Vikingking > just cook something it's not a problem

Draconianbanshee > do all of you guys have human twins that are almost exactly like you??

Iceicebby > never met someone with naturally white hair and purple eyes before so no

Draconianbanshee > well that makes sense but

Draconianbanshee > ok I need to meet her at some point

3catholic5u > after this swap is over

Draconianbanshee > k good but when is it ending?

 

Thespaqueen > end of the week

Vikingking > thank God, a house this quiet is driving me crazy

Iceicebby > wow you miss us Im touched

Vikingking > nope, just used to the constant noise

love&rosesaesthetic > what’s wrong with a quiet house?

Vikingking > too quiet

Iceicebby > it spoopy

Vikingking > I feel like I’m gonna find a dead body covered in wilted roses in the closet or something

Thespaqueen > whAT

Thespaqueen > that says less about the owner of the house and a bit more about you

Vikingking > would you prefer if I changed it to lilies?

Thespaqueen > jesus fuck

Vikingking > maybe belladonna?

love&rosesaesthetic > ok you need to stOP

Thespaqueen > yeah jesus fuck

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...why would you even think that?

Vikingking > the whole house smells like a garden and someone dropped an entire bag of cheap floral perfumes and it’s just tOO QUIET

love&rosesaesthetic > its air freshener and it’s noT CHEAP I GET GOOD ONES

Iceicebby > w

Iceicebby > WHAT WHY

Iceicebby > what happened here what is this

Vikingking > there’s a body w/ a wilted flower crown somewhere here and I plan to find it

Notavamp > the fuck

Thespaqueen > take a pic and post it on insta I wanna see

love&rosesaesthetic > don’t go into the second floor bathroom but if you do don’t move the laundry bin on the bottom of the closet there’s nothing there (nope nothing at all) but the wall is a bit messed up (not like there’s a small human-sized space or anything nope not at all just some chipped paint definitely haha what body)

Thespaqueen > THE FUCK

Vikingking > whelp

Vikingking > I went in and I’m terrified

Vikingking > there’s so many

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > holy shit

Vikingking > Captain America comic books

Iceicebby > E X P O S E H I M O N L I N E

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > thank God

love&rosesaesthetic > they’re good though!

love&rosesaesthetic > ...please don’t let Alfred know

Vikingking > everyeditionofcaptainamericaever.png

3catholic5u > holy fuck why not Thor or something

Iceicebby > hope you don’t mind I’m gonna post it

Notavamp > wait is this being streamed

Thespaqueen > idk i don’t think he’s here while the chat is about the house swap

Notavamp > he’s very bitter abt it

Thespaqueen > how mad is he

Notavamp > like artie-summoning-an-entire-forest.jpg mad

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Damn. That’s mad.

Iceicebby > YOU DID THAT YOU ACTUALLY

Iceicebby > is it good I haven’t had an angry magic freakout thing yet

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well you might just create either a black hole or an entire galaxy on top of our own, so… yes.

Iceicebby > yeah ok

Vikingking > you could just make something blow up, but there is that chance if you ever get to arthur’s level of rage

Draconianbanshee > am I the only one thinking he looks proud, pissed off, and just done with everything in that pic

Iceicebby > yes he just looks mad

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > yep

Iceicebby > how did you creATE AND ENTIRE FUCKING FOREST

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > fairly sure Alistair played a part in it. And everyone else.

Iceicebby > I’m still wondering how your sister hasn’t gone insane yet she looks

3catholic5u > its great bc we’ll just wake up at midnight to a really girly screech and trees breaking through the walls

Thespaqueen > allstate insurance™ 

3catholic5u > the sad part is the screech comes from iggy over there

3catholic5u > but in the semi-rare case it’s just a nightmare,,

3catholic5u > there are just the creepiest trees you could ever imagine and plants that are omens of death and poisonous flowers but it’s silent so it’s so much worse

Iceicebby > spoopy trees™ 

Iceicebby > WAIT HOW OFTEN DOES THIS HAPPEN YOU MENTION IT SO CASUALLY

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > maybe three times a week?

Iceicebby > SHIT WHAT

3catholic5u > maybe the strangest part of all that is there is always this one insanely dark red rose that blooms, wilts, and blooms again without stopping

Thespaqueen > am I the only thing who thinks that sounds like a really pretty concept

3catholic5u > its terrifying bc its almost black and a rose blooming in a house is a huge omen of death, not to mention the dead cedar trees (also a death omen)(there’s 2 parts to that one bc the branches are the length of what a coffin might be in my house which tells when someone will die), a peach tree that bloomed early (oh wow, another death omen!), and blackthorn bushes (surprise: it’s a death omen)

Thespaqueen > beautiful

Iceicebby > wow I saID I DIDNT WANT TO DIE OVER THIS THING

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m not there, so you shouldn’t

Iceicebby > YOUR FAMILY TALKS ABOUT DEATH LIKE ITS JUST A THING THOUGH

Iceicebby > ITS NOT JUST A THING

Iceicebby > LIKE IM GONNA HAVE THE TV REMOTE AND GET SLAUGHTERED ONE DAY

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Just watch youtube in my room, it’s the only room relatively safe from them in the entire house. They think it’s cursed and it’s an omen of death (I wonder why), so they’ll stay out most of the time.

Iceicebby > UH IM GOOD

Iceicebby > THANKS

Iceicebby > I just realized I didn’t eat any of my breakfast

Thespaqueen > fuck I didn’t make breakfast

Vikingking > I don’t even know what’s breakfast here, though I found snails in the fridge

Thespaqueen > that sounds terrifying

Vikingking > how do you even cook snails?

Vikingking > wait I think one of them moved

Vikingking > why is francis torturing snails

Notavamp > wtf

love&rosesaesthetic > oh please, it’s dead. I killed them myself so I would know

Iceicebby > I’m just imagining instead of finding people with wilted flower crowns or something

Iceicebby > you find dead snails with pluggin air freshener

Draconianbanshee > well escargot is really good, even though it looks like shit, so just google how to make it

Vikingking > um no

Draconianbanshee > hey, why did the snail paint an ‘s’ on its car?

Draconianbanshee > so people could look at it and say, ‘wow, look at that S car go’

Draconianbanshee > ba-dum-tiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after all that mention of death I physically couldn't stop myself from making a pun ok I need to bc reasons


	41. In Which Guns. Just Guns.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry we've been so inactive :') Admin Trash is taking AP classes and studying her ass off so.. Yeah this is our new shitty schedule it's called "whenever I'm not in the mood to fucking die"  
> \- Mun Trash

love&rosesaesthetic > I don’t know what I did but Sve is just giving me this look and I’m kind of freaked out

love&rosesaesthetic > does this just happen or am I doing something wrong??

Iceicebby > he just does that

Iceicebby > wait which look he has a few he doesn’t talk much

Vikingking > is it the one where he just doesn’t flinch but his eyes just stare into your soul?

love&rosesaesthetic > um… no?

Vikingking > is it the one where he tilts his head slightly and he’s frowning a little and his eyes look soulless? 

Vikingking > well the first one is his normal look and the second is when he’s slightly pissed off, so which one is it?

love&rosesaesthetic > neither

Iceicebby > is it the one where he’s kinda squinting and he has this slight smirk on his face and he’s really fidgety and stuff

love&rosesaesthetic > yeah

love&rosesaesthetic > that isn’t bad, is it?

Iceicebby > rip 

Vikingking > oh it’s not that bad, you death should be relatively quick

love&rosesaesthetic > oh ok waIT WHAT I THOUGHT NO ONE WAS DYING THE FuCK DID I DO

Thespaqueen > I don’t know but at least I know I’m not the only one getting said look

love&rosesaesthetic > did I do something I didn’t know about or?? I don’t think I’ve threatened any nordics!

Thespaqueen > well I mean I don’t live with them on a daily basis and know them just about as well as you

Thespaqueen > BUT it took a lot for them to hate me so you must’ve really fucked up

Vikingking > did you touch any of the guns or scratch any furniture? 

love&rosesaesthetic > no and no

Vikingking > do you think you might have insulted anyone?

love&rosesaesthetic > I don’t think so

Thespaqueen > anything about fin or peter to report maybe???

love&rosesaesthetic > well I did ask where Peter was and I think Fin got suspicious when I asked why he wasn’t here and a few other things but just how??

Draconianbanshee > did u trigger him

love&rosesaesthetic > maybe??

Iceicebby > you have to tw all of your things1!11!!!!!1!!!!1111!!!!11!!!!!!11!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!1!111

love&rosesaesthetic > (tw) I don’t think I get what you mean

love&rosesaesthetic > (tw) how am I supposed to do that while I talk?

Iceicebby > your excess of tws triggered me

Iceicebby > look IM KDDING which is a bad idea in this situation sorry

Iceicebby > not good in any situation more stressful than nightblogging sensitive topics on tumblr

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Did you insult a table or something?

love&rosesaesthetic > ...why would I insult a table

Thespaqueen > Bitch ass can't even think for itself or even fucking stand it just sits there doing fucking nothing it's fat ass is just kinda used to hold anyone's shit like an Abnegation gone wrong

Vikingking > well that’s one way to do it

love&rosesaesthetic > ...why do you know how to insult a table?

love&rosesaesthetic > is this a normal thing for you?

Thespaqueen > you have no idea

love&rosesaesthetic > I’m glad I don’t

Vikingking > would you care if I sent a screenshot of this to Sve?

Thespaqueen > NO NO IM FINE PLEASE DOn’T he alREADy HATeS mE

love&rosesaesthetic > can you ask why he wants to see my throat slit in two?? Wtf did I do??

Vikingking > uh… sure

Notavamp > plz don’t have him killed

3catholic5u > way too much to fix later

Draconianbanshee > wtf guys. Wtf.

Draconianbanshee > maybe it’s a mortal thing, but I don’t exactly take death lightly… can’t you just ask what u did? It’s a very simple concept!

3catholic5u > I have never heard you say that

3catholic5u > ‘a mortal thing’

Draconianbanshee > well isn’t it true though?

Thespaqueen > I just realized a really dark fucking concept

Thespaqueen > “mortal thing” yeah that’s never gonna end well

Draconianbanshee > um…

Draconianbanshee > well then

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well this is awkward.

Thespaqueen > what’s it gonna be like when Myrna is all old and stuff and Seamus is still like the same age??

Draconianbanshee > I get the chance to know that he’ll always be fine, and he gets to be happy until I end up leaving.

Draconianbanshee > yeah I’ve given the whole immortality thing you guys have a bit of thought and tbh I’m completely at peace with it

Thespaqueen > shit man that’s too deep for this chat takE IT SOMEWHERE ELSE

Thespaqueen > feelings are bad!!

love&rosesaesthetic > SVE IS GOING TO KILL ME THAT’S SOMEWHERE ELSE

Vikingking > oh right

Vikingking > he isn’t responding to any of my texts so just ask

Vikingking > just don’t sound blunt sound like you actually care

love&rosesaesthetic > I DO ACTUALLY CARE

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Best of luck

Thespaqueen > I’m gonna narrate these events I’m watching from the couch

Thespaqueen > k he’s walking up and SVES GOT A GUN

Thespaqueen > our friend is brave and does not stop walking

Thespaqueen > he goes and begins talking to Sve

Thespaqueen > ok shit shit abort mission

Thespaqueen > nvm ok ok it’s cool

Thespaqueen > SHIT FUCK TURN AROUND

Notavamp > wtf is going on??

Thespaqueen > k so he shot at the wall once to test if it’s working spoilER IT IS

Thespaqueen > IM RUNNING FUCK THIS SHIT

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > wait what’s francis doing??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > is he alright??

Thespaqueen > IDK IM RUNNING i didn’t hear any more gunshotS BUT IM RUNNING

Vikingking > wait waIT WHAT I thought Sve didn’T LIKE TO USE FUCKING GUNS IN THE HOUSE

Iceicebby > he doesn’t what if he get’s the furniture then you’re really screwed

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > IS FRANCIS DEAD DO YOU KNOW

Notavamp > did you hear a french scream or something bc artie’s losing his mind, or at least what’s left of it

Thespaqueen > I’m hiding in the attic don’t asK ME COME HERE FIND OUT

Thespaqueen > BUT NO NO SCREAMS YET

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > what is there evil laughter too?!

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > wasn’t Sve the calm one??

3catholic5u > Arthur stop panicking

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > i’m calm, I’m fuCKING CALM.

3catholic5u > I’m willing to bet there is belladonna and poison ivy shrouding whatever room you’re in right now.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > there is but that’s nOT THE POINT

Notavamp > so, you do care

Draconianbanshee > not the FUCKING TIME VLAD

Notavamp > alright, alright

Notavamp > I’ll stop

Thespaqueen > DO YOUR TELEPORTY MAGIC OVER HERE

Thespaqueen > WHILE U STILL CAN

Vikingking > alright alright I’m coming

Notavamp > be there in a sec

Thespaqueen > WITHIN THE SECOND I SENT THAT HE APPEARED IN THE ATTIC HALLELUJA 

3catholic5u > what about Vlad and Lukas?

Thespaqueen > they’re here they’re here they took their time tho

Thespaqueen > Arthur is currently filling the room with poisonous plants no thank fren

3catholic5u > yeah he does that sort of thing when francis is in danger he actually has emotions sometimes

3catholic5u > also when he’s like this wherever he steps will be covered in poisonous and thorny plants that will only spread so you’re not safe anywhere really

Thespaqueen > thanks for telling me this

Iceicebby > can i come??

Draconianbanshee > right, you’re a chaos mage

Draconianbanshee > get over there just don’t touch any plants maybe levitate if you can

Iceicebby > i can fly actually i take ig stories floating :\

Draconianbanshee > not gonna lie that’s pretty awesome but you should get going

Iceicebby > ok ok bye

3catholic5u > so who isn't about to die? 

Thespaqueen > I’m gonna narrate tho I can’t guarantee I’ll be alive

3catholic5u > fair enough 

Draconianbanshee > wait is Sve in almost an elemental prison rn

Iceicebby > we’re gonna put him in one but I have to go easy or I’m gonna send him to a purgatory dimension which is actually inescapable through laws of physics and time so :\

Draconianbanshee > well damn

3catholic5u > can we get back to the commentary? 

Thespaqueen > I can definitely narrate this: ok so I’m gonna die not from the gun guy but the actual impossible temperature in here shit I’m gonna go to “my” room

Draconianbanshee > any more gunshots or French screams of terror? 

Thespaqueen > well I mean there’s screeching but there’s also loud stomping noises so we’re fine I think

3catholic5u > is Artie in control of himself bc when he really loses his temper and slightly his sanity, well… You get the point 

Thespaqueen > well idk there’s just lots of running in the house so I don’t see him I’m just going to Lukas’s room

Thespaqueen > OK I’m here guess who else is Arthur if you want GET OVER HERE HELP

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well fuck

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > that didn't go as planned

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I'm so glad Fin is staying out of this 

Thespaqueen > it’s funny because everyone else is doing fine and this is going better than my last idea so am I improving??

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you almost got Francis Shot so no

3catholic5u > wait why aren't you out there 

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I almost lost control and nearly killed everyone in the house… Sorry about that

Thespaqueen > “sorry about that”

Iceicebby > FAM IF I WASN'T THERE THERE WOULD BE A BIT OF A PROBLEM

Draconianbanshee > ever consider anger management classes? 

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > honestly they don't help me much

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I should get back out,, bye for now

Thespaqueen > is this gonna go on and we just detain Sve like,,

3catholic5u > well he does have a gun and I'm not sure if they can stop bullets 100% of the time

Thespaqueen > I think we just get rid of him for a bit ominous as that sounds and then leavE HIM THERE

Draconianbanshee > but what did Francis do

Thespaqueen > /sit and cry tbh/

Draconianbanshee > ...to piss the guy off

Thespaqueen > OH I still don’t know


	42. In Which They End Up In Space Somehow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Metta here! Alright, so we were writing chapters 42 and 43 at the same time and we forgot to post this one, so... yeah here you go

Love&rosesaesthetic > well that was a nightmare

Love&rosesaesthetic > a few things started spontaneously combusting, 

Love&rosesaesthetic > deadly plants were literally everywhere

Love&rosesaesthetic > everything got a thin layer of snow, 

Love&rosesaesthetic > and I think someone in another dimension has a new TV

Iceicebby > and I don’t think Ber minds but he’s kinda stuck in a parallel universe for a bit so he’s just living it up there

Iceicebby > possibly murdering your doubles

Iceicebby > idk but you’re welcome

Thespaqueen > otherwise I’m having fun this is a great house swap

Vikingking > well I spoke to Fin and Den, so you aren't an enemy anymore

Vikingking > they still don't like you at all, though 

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > No one got poison ivy/oak/whatever else I grew on them, right? 

Thespaqueen > a bit on my leg but that’s really it

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I'll fix that when all this ends

Notavamp > that was awesome

Iceicebby > Yeah that was a lot of fun and um I posted a lot of pictures of it in the moment on IG, SC and FB

3catholic5u > I noticed

Draconianbanshee > honestly how can anyone survive that tho that was pure power

Thespaqueen > run bc our side was more dangerous than the gun dude

Vikingking > well stopping bullets is still difficult

Vikingking > we couldn't exact trap him or get the gun out of his reach without a shot aimed at Francis’s chest firing 

Thespaqueen > Yeah but idk how he’s alive?????

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > He is in another dimension at the moment, so… 

Love&rosesaesthetic > can I still lock myself in this room I know this is the last day but I don't trust your family 

Thespaqueen > yeaah no get out of my room

Love&rosesaesthetic > do I have to? 

Thespaqueen > yes,,

Love&rosesaesthetic > fine. 

Thespaqueen > you have your own

Iceicebby > but on a separate note,, I can’t wait to leave since this food is absolute shit

Vikingking > have you even been eating? 

Iceicebby > maybe

Notavamp > how?? I know Iggy’s the worst but I didn't think you'd be able to eat that for so long

Iceicebby > I’ve been going out and getting pizza every other day so I’m good

3catholic5u > it's true and it's been ticking me off

Iceicebby > What?? You know I’m not eating that no offense

3catholic5u > nothing wrong with it

Draconianbanshee > it's bad. Not terrible, but really, really bad. 

3catholic5u > oh please it's fine

Love&rosesaesthetic > it's really not at all 

Thespaqueen > yeah 

Thespaqueen > wait annoying question here: where did this conversation change from murder to food

Love&rosesaesthetic > when Ice mentioned it

Thespaqueen > oh ok yeah

Vikingking > on the topic of murder,,

Vikingking > I still have yet to find any bodies here but I haven't given up

Iceicebby > IM CRYinG WHAT 

Iceicebby > why are you looking for bodies he’s way too ~classy~ to keep bodies in his house

Vikingking > it's way too fucking quiet and NO ONE uses this much air freshener

Love&rosesaesthetic > geez I just prefer the smell to decomposing flesh

Love&rosesaesthetic > just saying that bodies don't do the overall atmosphere any favors

Thespaqueen > that sounds so ominous but I mean again I feel like this one over here wouldn’t especially since he’s so squeamish about what happened yesterday

Love&rosesaesthetic > just trying to have some fun here

love&rosesaesthetic > but that was terrifying and it’s not a normal thing for a loaded gun aimed at me

love&rosesaesthetic > honestly I had no idea Artie cared that much though

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well I uh didn’t exactly want you to get shot, so…

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > and Sve was acting so strange you must have done something terrible, but since that isn’t like you at all it must have been an accident...

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > and um…

Draconianbanshee > you’re stalling

Thespaqueen > he has too much pride he wouldn’t

Thespaqueen > too much gay pride ha gothim

3catholic5u > wait is he actually gonna say it though

Notavamp > he’s been quiet for a minute or two i think he will

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well now that all of you are bringing it up I’m not saying it.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You’ve been quiet for 15 minutes so either you’re all dead or you’re waiting… I’m guessing it’s the latter.

Thespaqueen > EHEM HMMMM

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > What?

love&rosesaesthetic > for the record this is amazing

Thespaqueen > ten bucks he won’t say it

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > …

Vikingking > I’ll say 20

3catholic5u > 25?

Notavamp > does he act this way when he’s only with you?

love&rosesaesthetic > not at all-- well at least not usually

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > My secret’s out-- I have feelings.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m personally shocked,, Horrified, even,,

Thespaqueen > this is a true scientific breakthrough

Vikingking > I had no clue, it’s almost as if you’re a completely different person now

Draconianbanshee > this chat just keeps getting better and better

Draconianbanshee > also I’ll match the bet with 25

Thespaqueen > is this an auction and top person gets the money

Thespaqueen > FUCK OK 50 I DONT CARE

Draconianbanshee > …

Draconianbanshee > alright we have 50 as the top bid now do I hear 65 anywhere? Going once,

Draconianbanshee > going twice,

Vikingking > sold

Thespaqueen > Honestly I

Thespaqueen > Is this a real thing I thought we were joking

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Apparently it is.

3catholic5u > so is this a bet or an auction?

Notavamp > bet

Iceicebby > glad I didn’t enter

Iceicebby > also what if you cant turn of the flying thing what then

Notavamp > then you have a problem my friend

Iceicebby > problem: there’s something called an atmosphere

Iceicebby > other problem: Im going kinda fast friend

Iceicebby > #firstworldproblems

Iceicebby > have the secret service send for my body and update my story

Vikingking > teleport to the ground, maybe?

Vikingking > teleport to one of us, maybe?

Vikingking > teleport somewhere lower, maybe?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Really, it’s an easy fix.

Iceicebby > what if that’s not working cuz if it did i’D NOT EVEN BE FLYING NOW

Iceicebby > come get me

Iceicebby > bro

Iceicebby > brooooooooooo

Iceicebby > halp

Vikingking > ...I’ll be back in a few

Iceicebby > thank

Vikingking > update: um backup please

Vikingking > we’re stuck. We’re not moving any higher but we can’t get down

Notavamp > honestly?

Vikingking > wait no we’re still moving

Notavamp > geez

Notavamp > I’m coming, try to act… heavy

Thespaqueen > ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Notavamp > I don’t know what the fucK is going on but

Notavamp > we’RE STILL FLOATING

Notavamp > I mean this is the best view I’ve ever seen but we’RE GONNA DIE AGAIN

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I had faith in you three

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > …

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’ll be there in five.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > update- Well fuck.

Thespaqueen > w

Thespaqueen > why is this a thing

Thespaqueen > delete this from the internet let’s go back to the other chat where everyone besides the house swap group is so we can tell them

Thespaqueen > that THIS is what killed like the chaos mage and three elemental bros like what

Notavamp > mystical-view-of-earth.png

Notavamp > LOOK

Thespaqueen > that’s pretty

Iceicebby > I’m putting that on the story

Iceicebby > the air is thin up here lmao

3catholic5u > ...how is that funny

3catholic5u > do you find it dank or something?

Iceicebby > do you not know how a meme works

Iceicebby > no but it’s just kinda cool lmao

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Their minds are going off their rockers… haha that’s great

Thespaqueen > u ok there fren

Thespaqueen > I’m going to the main chat see ya

Iceicebby > IM TELLING THE STORy ok

Vikingking > hey guys how are we still alive?? I’m not getting any of this shit wtf guys

Vikingking > k space is bigger than I thought

Iceicebby > cmon go tell everyone I’m sure the stream’s been dead for a few days

 

Iceicebby >> left the conversation

 

Thespaqueen >> left the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Lukas passed out,, he did a flip when he passed out too,, damn

Draconianbanshee > he did a gosh dang flip

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > he did. A gosh. Dang. Flip.

3catholic5u > gosh dang stop saying gosh dang

Notavamp > gosh dang

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You guys leaving, or…?

 

Notavamp >> left the conversation

 

Draconianbanshee >> left the conversation

 

3catholic5u >> left the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> removed vikingking from the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...I do care about you.

love&rosesaesthetic > you only saying it for the money?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > not at all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly our ideas for how they ended up in space changed so many times I just,, :\


	43. In Which Ponies Have Feelings and Also Relationships Are A Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk we did a suggestion but this came out more serious than it should have

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> added thespaqueen, vikingking, draconianbanshee, 3catholic5u, notavamp, iceicebby, love&rosesaesthetic, thefabulouspolska, mybrothersavampire and hungaryandhungary to the conversation

 

Thefabulouspolska > and that’s why I think ponies have feelings

Thefabulouspolska > oh hi guys how was the house thing 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I believe a few of you owe me money.

Thespaqueen > pay up I mean you did lose

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ididit.png

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Definitely the lack of oxygen and scent of money talking there, but I said it.

love&rosesaesthetic > oh wow

love&rosesaesthetic > and to think I actually thought you were sincere

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well I mean

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > shit um

Thespaqueen > look a new level of triggered

Thefabulouspolska > yeah what happened while I was just yknow not dealing with you for a great week

Draconianbanshee > familyswapchat.png

Draconianbanshee > well these guys almost died, Sve got transported to another dimension, and they also ended up in space.

Draconianbanshee > not to mention that we placed a bet on Artie and if he was gonna admit he cared

love&rosesaesthetic > which he’s denying even now

Notavamp > I have never seen you this triggered

Hungaryandhungry > I missed this chat?? I’m upset about this

3catholic5u > but the thing is Artie can’t let you guys know that he actually has human feelings,, not like it’s something we all have and have felt many times before,, you must see his point in this, right?

Thespaqueen > ew feelings

Hungaryandhungry > what

Thespaqueen > What did I say??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > um

love&rosesaesthetic > you have something to say?

Thespaqueen > like this chat needs to be recorded somewhere for record

Thespaqueen > also if you were wondering Myrna, this is how national debt is [partially] created

Draconianbanshee > now it’s all falling into place

Thespaqueen > yep

Mybrothersavampire > it’s been a long time but should I bring up the stream again

Hungaryandhungry > no this is a skype chat

Notavamp > how many views does it usually get? If it’s a good amount then it’s fine

Vikingking > Vlad no

Notavamp > Vlad yes

Hungaryandhungry > vlad no

Thespaqueen > VLAD YES

Draconianbanshee > Vlad just no

Notavamp > Vlad just YES

3catholic5u > heyy Artie not sure if you forgot or not but you’re boyfriend currently hates you so you might want to say something about that,,

love&rosesaesthetic > I’m listening.

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> has left the conversation

 

love&rosesaesthetic > he just teleported to my house with a bouquet of red tulips and peonies

3catholic5u > it’s been 15 minutes what’s going on

love&rosesaesthetic > he explained that the tulips symbolize a declaration of love and the peonies symbolize healing

love&rosesaesthetic > he knows his plants well apparently

Draconianbanshee > anything else?

love&rosesaesthetic > he… he got on his knee and apologized…

 

love&rosesaesthetic >> added eyebrow&sconeaesthetic to the conversation

 

Vikingking > damn

Thespaqueen > this is so pure to be honest

Thespaqueen > ok ok I’m paying up I cant actually

Vikingking > I’ll send the money over

3catholic5u > I’ll give it to you the next time I see you

Draconianbanshee > I’m sending it

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I had no idea that was an actual bet you planned on keeping… 

love&rosesaesthetic > you really are sweet when you want to be

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > And I have no idea how to respond

Iceicebby > I know how to bring this chat back

Iceicebby > I PLAY POKEMON GO EVERYDAY

Mybrothersavampire > I PLAY POKEMON GO

Iceicebby > WHEN I WAKE UP

Thespaqueen > hang me

Notavamp > stop finishing each other’s sentences right now this is weirding me out Moldova you’re too young for this shit

Vikingking > Vlad relax

Notavamp > I’m not taking any chances he needs to stay smol

Thespaqueen > tfw you’re helping someone cheat and u only 6

Notavamp > Moldova you need to not

Iceicebby > ITS TIME TO STOP GUYS

Iceicebby > is this the chat of relationship problems

love&rosesaesthetic > I mean it got fixed but

Iceicebby > k then

Draconianbanshee > anyways,,

Draconianbanshee > what on earth is going on

Thespaqueen > I don’t know but I love it

Iceicebby > help me here,,,, why do you guyS ALWAYS THINK IM CHEATING IM CONFUSED

Mybrothersavampire > because you are

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You really are.

Iceicebby > I’m not tho

Mybrothersavampire > #we’redone

Vikingking > as far as I know he’s not cheating, but then again I could be wrong

Iceicebby > :^\\\\\\\\\\\

Vikingking > can you give me a definate no?

Iceicebby > What is a definite anything let alone a definite no

Vikingking > you know what I mean

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Can you really give a definite answer, though? For all you know your whole situation might change in the blink of an eye.

Iceicebby > what do you guys even define as cheating I’m confused tbh

Thespaqueen > buttfucking

Draconianbanshee > well then

3catholic5u > isn’t that… nice

Notavamp > well not really but nice try

Thespaqueen > thank I try

Hungaryandhungry > we need to have a little chat about how much time you spend with your friends

Iceicebby > define cheating

Draconianbanshee > Cheating: Being in multiple relationships without the consent of those present in all relationships you are in

Draconianbanshee > so no, not just buttfucking someone else

Iceicebby > im sorry I can’t take this seriously Adela??? buttfucking???

Thespaqueen > Idk

Vikingking > but if you ever happen to cheat,,

Vikingking > when you leave one of the relationships you’re in, always leave the first.

3catholic5u > why are you helping him cheat

3catholic5u > I mean its true long-term but really cheating is not something you should be doing

Iceicebby > yeah but according to you guys I’m cheating?? Like what constitutes this

Draconianbanshee > the Spark incident. 

Iceicebby > that wasn’t a thinG tho

Notavamp > anyone have the screenshots?

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You basically said that you'd be fine falling for someone else. 

Iceicebby > I didn’t?? I never said that I was kidding around I actually said “that would be gay” you know I was kidding

Vikingking > it's difficult to explain 

Vikingking > every once in awhile you just sort of know

Iceicebby > ???

Iceicebby > I didn’t but ok

Iceicebby > what’re you trying to say??

Love&rosesaesthetic > not saying, just implying. Also how have you not figured it out yet

Iceicebby > I know what you’re saying but seriously??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Not that seriously, but we're just warning you. 

Iceicebby > ok fine 

Iceicebby > I get it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly I don't know


	44. In Which They Worry About A Stone of and yeah he's gonna ask the big question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... well Czech wasn't supposed to be here but I'm so glad she is. Also I recommend clicking the links (especially the one sent by Czech)

3catholic5u >> added eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, vikingking, notavamp, love&rosesaesthetic, thefabulouspolska, nessieisreal, iceicebby, little.sheepish, and gottagobelfast to the conversation

 

3catholic5u >> well, I have some news

Gottagobelfast > yeah why am I in such a huge group chat?

Vikingking > why aren't the others here anyway? 

3catholic5u > it's um… It's about Myrna

Little.Sheepish > we hear about her too much glad you decided to address it

Gottagobelfast > who do I have to kill what did she do where does she live

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Did something happen between you two? 

3catholic5u > can't you guys make anything easy,,

3catholic5u > I'm asking her to well

3catholic5u > to marry me

Little.sheepish > why aren't you telling us in person you're in your room

3catholic5u > I figured his would go a bit smoother in a chat

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you could just walk out and say it. 

Gottagobelfast > fair warning ahead of time: we’re breaking into your room

Gottagobelfast > oh yeah and uh cool how long were you two even together I feel like I heard about her last

3catholic5u > we’ve known each other for a while before we really started dating and all, but dating wise I can't really say

3catholic5u > time does pass somewhat differently for us, so… 

Gottagobelfast > oh yeah what if you were too quick in human time?? Also Alistair has a crowbar UNLOCK YOUR DOOR

3catholic5u > wait what he still has that old thing? Well fuck give me a sec 

Love&rosesaesthetic > how are you taking this so casually?? 

Love&rosesaesthetic > this is a big thing! 

Thefabulouspolska > glad my sister isn't here we all know she's either tell or make a buttfuck joke

3catholic5u > ...yeah

Notavamp > so how are you gonna do it? 

3catholic5u > wait what

Notavamp > how are you proposing? 

3catholic5u > I'm not entirely sure

Iceicebby > congrats I have a problem and it's less of a problem but uh someone in the chat blabbed and it somehow got to Leon

Iceicebby > honestly I don't think I did anything but he kinda broke up with me over the phone

Iceicebby > anyway happy wedding

Vikingking > wait he did? And over the phone? 

Vikingking > please let me kill him you don't dump someone you've been with for so long over the phone bc of a joke

Vikingking > just let me kill him please

Notavamp > Lukas calm down

Vikingking > I'm fine… But after this I swear all hell is gonna break loose

Nessieisreal > what did you guys do this time to ruin his relationship?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > It’s quite a bit of a story

Iceicebby > Not important anyway,, like I said,, happy wedding

Iceicebby > And Lukas chill it’s fine 

Vikingking > I’m fucking chill, don’t worry

Iceicebby > you’re not you just swore who are you

Vikingking > completely fucking chill

Iceicebby > :\ u ok

Vikingking > yeah yeah why?

love&rosesaesthetic > this is not the time to plan how to murder your brother’s ex-boyfriend we have other things to plan here

Vikingking > fine,,

Notavamp > he probably found out on the livestream bc my brother just had to put it up

Notavamp > sorry abt that :\

Iceicebby > apparently his siblings were trying to tell him it was an unhealthy relationship too so it’s ok

Notavamp > oh

Vikingking > just let me incase them in ice please let me watch them freeze to death let me impale them with icicles just let me kill theM

Iceicebby > bro stop

Vikingking > alright alright I’ll stop

Nessieisreal > I’ll help

Vikingking > will this just be a tag team or something?

Gottagobelfast > I get to meet my double

3catholic5u > yeah you do

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well that’s going to be strange

Gottagobelfast > when u kinda shy but you’re still well memed enough to hold your own in a conversation with someone who looks exactly like you

Notavamp > is Pol honestly just stalking the conversation why does he do this so often

Thefabulouspolska > ...yeah Im just here

Thefabulouspolska > I’m always either doing something when the chat is up or I have no reaction

Thefabulouspolska > or a fun blend of both I’m full of surprises

love&rosesaesthetic > that’s great

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > lovely 

3catholic5u > but I have an actual problem here?? How do I ask her??

Vikingking > as long as it’s not over text

Thefabulouspolska > just somehow just do it somehow idk

Thefabulouspolska > why am I even here

Notavamp > you just sound like you’re contemplating your entire existence tbh

Thefabulouspolska > no I’m asking about this chat but

Thefabulouspolska > wow im now having an existential crisis

Notavamp > you’re welcome

Notavamp > but on a separate note figure out a place that means something to you guys and do something romantic

Thefabulouspolska > ADELA LOOKED OVER MY SHOULDER AND SAID BUTTFUCK

3catholic5u > ADELA I SWEAR TO GOD STOP YOU’RE nOT HELPING

Thefabulouspolska > SHES TRYING TO TAKE THE PHONE HELP

3catholic5u > ADELA STOP

Thefabulouspolska > H E L P

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Adela just stop

3catholic5u > I didn’t want to have to do this but fuck it

 

3catholic5u >> added thespaqueen to the conversation

 

3catholic5u > have I fixed anything?

Thespaqueen > HI WHY WAS I NOT ADDED PREVIOUSLY

3catholic5u > I figured you’d tell

3catholic5u > but hey since you’re here I need heLP

Thespaqueen > ehem

Thespaqueen > buttfuck

3catholic5u > why do I feel like you said that outloud

Notavamp > she definitely did

Thefabulouspolska > she said it calmly on the couch turning on the tv with a straight face

Vikingking > damn that’s impressive 

Thespaqueen > thank

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Do you have a ring at least?

3catholic5u > of course

3catholic5u > but I’m not taking buttfuck as an actual answer

Thespaqueen > oh cmonnnnn

3catholic5u > czech no

Thespaqueen > czech yaas

3catholic5u > czech nah

love&rosesaesthetic > czech focus please

Thespaqueen > czech fine

Thespaqueen > problem: I never plan dates I suck 

Notavamp > THis is why he didn’t add you

3catholic5u > basically

Thespaqueen > fair enough 

Thespaqueen > idk here’s the thing tho where did you guys first meet

3catholic5u > Bunratty Castle

love&rosesaesthetic > Bunratty?

love&rosesaesthetic > what kind of a name is Bunratty?

Thespaqueen > Buttrattyfuck

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Seamus, I um

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Not entirely sure if you realize this but uh

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Isn’t that the castle with the fertility stone?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Can’t you take her to maybe Blarney Castle?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m genuinely concerned here

3catholic5u > I forgot about that

3catholic5u > I mean well I’d need to hold her upside down for the Blarney stone and I’m not sure if she knows about the stone in Bunratty??

Thespaqueen > ah yes, the old bunratty buttfuck

Thespaqueen > I need to stop

3catholic5u > I’m really glad the ring has nothing to do with buttfucking

Thespaqueen > the best part is buttfuck isn’t autocorrected

3catholic5u > are you just going to get a Claddagh ring and have buttfuck engraved in fancy script on the back? 

Thespaqueen > yes like it’s gonna be that really pretty glittery diy text I’ll have the person who owns that account custom engrave my ring

Vikingking > I believe you and that’s the sad part

3catholic5u > http://martin-jahn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/traditional-irish-engagement-rings.jpg

3catholic5u > I can’t stop imagining buttfuck on the back of it now

Thespaqueen > is that the kind of ring you got her??

Thespaqueen > that’s cool but you know what would be better?

3catholic5u > ...do I want to know

Thespaqueen > https://68.media.tumblr.com/61d31260b61a4db818e77417bef3d613/tumblr_odcwi0BidU1veiz5xo1_540.png

Thespaqueen > I spent a whole fifteen minutes making this I hope you love it

3catholic5u > not sure if I should find this offensive or hilarious 

3catholic5u > both maybe

Thespaqueen > when #both is good for #BUTTFUCK

Thespaqueen > remove me from the chat or I’m gonna keep doing this

 

3catholic5u >> removed thespaqueen from the conversation

 

3catholic5u > that went terribly 

3catholic5u > but should I just take her as far away from that stone in Bunratty as possible?

Thefabulouspolska > or not #buttfuck - I’m back bitches

Vikingking > give the phone back czech

Thefabulouspolska > remove him or the phone stays stolen

3catholic5u >> removed thefabulouspolska from the conversation

3catholic5u > back to the situation at Bunratty please wtf do I do

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Buttfuck?

3catholic5u > Iggy I swear stop it

Iceicebby > don’t do anything

Iceicebby > love is dead and life is just a figmentation your brain creates in the hollow nothing of a higher beings mind to feel better about itself one higher being which does not exist and is the figment we create to explain the unexplainable

Iceicebby > love is literally a thing our brains trick us into feeling so we can want to have children

Vikingking > I never thought I’d need to say this to you but,,

Vikingking > look there’s a time and place for everything and right now you need to shut up

Iceicebby > wow rude

Vikingking > I try, I try

Gottagobelfast > I’m waiting for this conversation to end

Nessieisreal > did I really find my crowbar just to keep texting in another room?

love&rosesaesthetic > Just go where you first actually spoke in Bunratty, it doesn’t matter where that stone is. Practice is going to help (you should improvise a little but just go over what you’ll say), and best of luck.

3catholic5u > thank

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > don’t fuck up okay but congratulations 

3catholic5u > um… thanks?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this was interesting and I had to look up a few random things about Ireland to do this. I have seen things that were not meant to be seen,,
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Suggestion about Seamus proposing by Audrey who is honestly a saint,,,


	45. In Which Mei is a Bitch Like wOW

Draconianbanshee >> added 3catholic5u, thespaqueen, hungaryandhungary, eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, vikingking, notavamp, iceicebby, love&rosesaesthetic, mybrothersavampire, and thefabulouspolska to the conversation

Draconianbanshee > Guys!!! 

Draconianbanshee > I have huge news!!!

Thespaqueen > ??

Hungaryandhungry > yeah?

Draconianbanshee > He proposed and I said yes!!!

3catholic5u > Didn’t you say you were making it subtle? 

Thespaqueen > did you buttfuck

Draconianbanshee > did we what

3catholic5u > Czech you can stop now thank you very much

Thespaqueen > https://68.media.tumblr.com/61d31260b61a4db818e77417bef3d613/tumblr_odcwi0BidU1veiz5xo1_540.png

Draconianbanshee > czech why.

Thespaqueen > I don’t know. 

3catholic5u > trust me it was worse in the chat she just basically spammed buttfuck

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > It was terrible.

Notavamp > it was pretty funny tho

Iceicebby > happy wedding for the fifth damn time

Vikingking > well Leon is still alive for now incase you were wondering but tomorrow I’ll have a different answer

Draconianbanshee > alright I get why I wasn’t there but why is Leon going to die

 

Iceicebby > because my brother has anger issues

Vikingking > actually that’s Artie, but nice try

Vikingking > Leon broke up with him

Draconianbanshee > well that’s no reason for murder

Vikingking > OVER TEXT

Draconianbanshee > slaughter him

Iceicebby > stop iT

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > He could have said it so much better, though.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Besides he’ll come back and he deserves it completely

Iceicebby > I

Iceicebby > you’re not helping

Iceicebby > it’s fine anyways like it’s not even a thing I don’t care

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > To kill Leon or not to kill Leon, that is the question

Vikingking > you’ve stayed in your room (which is barricaded) wearing all black

Iceicebby > shhhut the fuck up

Vikingking > the fuck will not shut up you have a serious problem and I’m fixing it

Iceicebby > it’s,, fine,,

Vikingking > just let me hang him upside down in an ice block with his head free and slowly impale his neck with an icicle

Iceicebby > I cant deal with this anymore shut up i can’t

Thespaqueen > he’s triggered

love&rosesaesthetic > czech you need to stop

Thespaqueen > ok ok sorry

 

Iceicebby >> left the conversation

 

Notavamp > is anyone going to bring up the stone and how much Seamus over here was freaking out about it?

Notavamp > no?

Notavamp > ok then

3catholic5u > please don’t

Thespaqueen > it was great

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > We did basically destroy a relationship but other than that it was great

Thespaqueen > Yeah nor fucked up

Thespaqueen > It’s beautiful

Vikingking > hey can I add someone real quick?

 

Vikingking >> added axesandasses to the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > Oh beautiful more relationship problems

Axesandasses > shh

Axesandasses > quick question: who died

Axesandasses > Ice came out of his room for the first time today for a thing of chocolate icecream,, he took the whole tub,, is he ok

Vikingking > Leon broke up with him

Axesandasses > oh ok btw the five packs of liquorice are gone

Vikingking > wait what

Vikingking > I’ll get more later

Axesandasses > I just read the chat: wait Seamus, you’re not gay?

3catholic5u > ...why does everyone think that?

Axesandasses > idk you just?? You have this thing about you

Axesandasses > wait so you’re not ok

Draconianbanshee > yeah he’s definitely not gay

Thespaqueen > you guys buttfucked?

Draconianbanshee > yes

3catholic5u > possibly

Thespaqueen > you’re not real™ Christians fucking sinners ugh

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well this is awkward as fuck

Thespaqueen > that’s a lot of fuck tbh

Vikingking > …

Vikingking > ...this is too awkward for me can I just go

Axesandasses > there is something wrong guys

Axesandasses > the house is too quiet

Axesandasses > why??

Vikingking > two people are missing. Ice is in his room and Sve is in another dimension so yeah

Axesandasses > how badly did you fuck up I know teen relationships are on/off but even we weren’t this bad

Axesandasses > FIGHT ME

Vikingking > fists or weapons?

Axesandasses > not you you’re fine

Axesandasses > anyway,,, this is a serious problem,, and it needs to be fixed like actually tell me the texts leading up to this

love&rosesaesthetic > alright I fucked up so how do we fix this

Axesandasses > what were the texts???

love&rosesaesthetic > can we maybe not send them I don’t want 2 nordics out for my blood

Notavamp > wefuckedwithicesrelationship.jpg

love&rosesaesthetic > can I leave

Axesandasses > the name is great cuz he always tells me that you always do that

Axesandasses > you just kinda did it worse this time

Vikingking > on a scale of 1 to Artie how mad are you right now?

Axesandasses > Artie+

Axesandasses > honestly he’s not even coming into my room to leave here come dat boy on in here? This is upsetting we were meme pals

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you were what

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > did I read that right

Axesandasses > we were meme pals

3catholic5u > meme pals?

Axesandasses > That’s what it means yep meme pals and also we're in the same house so???

Notavamp > k then

Draconianbanshee > why is this such a strange concept to us

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > It just… Is. 

Axesandasses > Anyway what did you do because from what I can tell they aren’t gonna be getting back together for the billionth time

Vikingking > well it always gets fixed on it's own so

Love&rosesaesthetic > nope I fucked up bad

Axesandasses > ok good I don’t have to blame myself what did you say

Love&rosesaesthetic > well Vlad sent it but I fuCKED uP

Notavamp > well we all fucked up a bit but yeah

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > That was a royal fuck-up

Axesandasses > If it makes you feel better I’m mutuals w/ Mei and I can add her to talk about this shit

Love&rosesaesthetic > please as long as more people aren't out to see my blood on the pavement this seems safer

Thespaqueen > that was really edgy sorry I know I’m sitting by and reading but this is really funny

 

Axesandasses >> added TheBubbleTeaQueen to the conversation

 

TheBubbleTeaQueen > hey everyone what's going on? 

TheBubbleTeaQueen > ...oh this again

Love&rosesaesthetic > yeah… 

Thespaqueen > sounds like you heard a lot about this already

TheBubbleTeaQueen > Leon hasn't stopped talking about it actually 

TheBubbleTeaQueen > he swears this is going to be the last time between them

Axesandasses > like obsessively?? Pfff sorry that’s beautiful tbh

Axesandasses > But in all seriousness I don’t know what happened anD FROM WHAT I HEARD HE BROKE UP W ICE OVER THE PHONE.

TheBubbleTeaQueen > it's not as if he didn't have it coming, and you people helped it happen!

Axesandasses > In my defense I wasn’t there and I had nothing to say about it

Axesandasses > He told me he opposed what they were saying too

Love&rosesaesthetic > I'm sorryyy we didn't mean for this to happen

Thespaqueen > fam your brother is really sensitive

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > and apparently so is Francis, or at least more than I thought. 

Love&rosesaesthetic > Arthur take this seriously you played a part in this too

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I am I am but I'm just saying that's all. 

Thespaqueen > we’re all a mess

Draconianbanshee > guilty as charged

Axesandasses > why is Leon so sensitive to jokes though like it takes a really special kind of person to manage to be that triggered that easily

3catholic5u > teens will be teens and there's nothing we can do to change that fact

TheBubbleTeaQueen > you guys need to stop sometimes 

TheBubbleTeaQueen > there are limits to how far something can go, you know! 

Thespaqueen > we don’t stop you’re a dick

Thespaqueen > or whatever if you’re OFFENDED by that term I don’t know what to tell you

Notavamp > how can you be so salty rn

Thespaqueen > I’m always salty it’s just that plenty of everyday situations don’t encompass insulting bitches like Ms. BubbleTeaHo here

TheBubbleTeaQueen > I thought I’d be surprised that it was you who basically ruined Leon for a while, but it really does make sense. 

TheBubbleTeaQueen > why is it that you've killed him in more ways than one in this chat? 

Thespaqueen > IT WASN’T ME CMON

TheBubbleTeaQueen > IT WAS YOUR IDEA AND IT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HAD JUST KEPT YOUR VENOM-DRIPPING MOUTH OF LIES SHUT

Thespaqueen > ugh that was

Thespaqueen > I’m gonna be honest that was bad

Thespaqueen > like think that through maybe before sending

 

TheBubbleTeaQueen >> has left the conversation 

 

Thespaqueen > well shit that got us nowhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that started someplace and ended someplace else :^\\\\\\\\\


	46. In Which Forced meme names???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I cant name shit

Thespaqueen > well fuck Mei’s a bitch

Vikingking > wasn’t she the nice one?

Thespaqueen > I mean she’s like really close with Leon??

Thespaqueen > but ha no nobody’s nice we all hate eachother it’s beautiful

Hungaryandhungry > I don’t know why this is a chat I’m even in I feel personally attacked and I’m not even the one being insulted

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well isn’t it true? We have a history of hating each other… and for stupid reasons.

Notavamp > ha

Notavamp > history

Notavamp > nation joke

Thespaqueen > was that an intentional SU reference

Notavamp > nope

Thespaqueen > anyways 

Thespaqueen > HEY ARTHUR IT WASNT ALWAYS STUPID REASONS FRIEND

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > …

Thespaqueen > I T S B A C K

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > F U C K N O P L E A S E

Thespaqueen > W H O S Y O U R G O D N O W

Draconianbanshee > is there something else I don’t know about this chat?

3catholic5u > wait you don’t know?

3catholic5u > …you don’t know

3catholic5u > well shit this is gonna be awkward

Draconianbanshee > do I want to stay

3catholic5u > only if you don’t want to see Arthur the same way ever again

Draconianbanshee > who’d he kill?

3catholic5u > he didn’t kill anyone...exactly…

Draconianbanshee > did he torture someone?

3catholic5u > not the um

3catholic5u > not the torture you’d think

Draconianbanshee > well I’m lost

Thespaqueen > Will this ruin your marriage which didn't even happen yet I mean it's about Arthur

Draconianbanshee > nah it's fine

Thespaqueen > how did they teach you about the history of England basically conquering,, everything

Thespaqueen > insert rape joke here

Draconianbanshee > so… It wasn't just wars and capturing then

Draconianbanshee > you're saying that he um

Thespaqueen > Arthur?? yeah he did that 

Thespaqueen > why is everyone so uncomfortable with this topic like it happened??? A v long time ago

Draconianbanshee > alright this is a serious thing how do you take it so lightly??

Draconianbanshee > one more thing,,

Draconianbanshee > Arthur explain.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well it happened a long time ago, long before you or your parent’s .3time, and well it just sort of happened, and well um I uh regret it and

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > shit I’m just going to go so

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> has left the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > “ it just sort of happened” Im dying

Thespaqueen > Well for all 0 of you why care I wanna make another go at getting to the answer about Leon the dickface???

Vikingking > please I’m one of the 0 who care let’s do this

Vikingking > but before we do anything,,

Notavamp > no you can’t kill them

Vikingking > you always need to take the fun out of everything

Hungaryandhungry > I really want to wrong number you guys like “oh new phone who dis” but this is Skype. Disassociate me with all of you,,

Draconianbanshee > sure but is what Artie did… normal for you guys?

Thespaqueen > no

Thespaqueen > OH YEAH ur human ok

Thespaqueen > nah this is,, this is honestly just a laughing matter now

Thespaqueen > it wasn’t so funny way back then tho

Thespaqueen > the thing is like things change quick af and time is weird so

Draconianbanshee > ...alright then. That’s a relief

Draconianbanshee > but honestly the time is weird excuse is a bit overused

Thespaqueen > wow ok I feel personally attacked but

Thespaqueen > nevermind

Vikingking > on a more important note can I kill them

Thespaqueen > ask your brother

 

Vikingking >> axesandasses to the conversation

 

Vikingking > CAN I KILL THeM

Thespaqueen > wronG BROTHER

Axesandasses > YE

 

Vikingking >> removed axesandasses from the conversation

 

Vikingking >> added HoHoHolyShit to the conversation

 

Vikingking > alright Fin can I kill them

HoHoHolyShit > how many guns do you need?

Vikingking > I have something better planned for Leon, but you and den can take care of everyone else

Thespaqueen > JEBUS OK CALm down I have a plan you know Mei’s sister?

Thespaqueen > she’s like really chill and we even text from time to time SO

Thespaqueen > what if I add her?

HoHoHolyShit > but are we still killing them??

Thespaqueen > nO FRIEN

Thespaqueen > its time tO STOP like leave the original cast™ of the chat can handle this

3catholic5u > what fourth wall are you trying to break

Thespaqueen > Honestly?? I don’t know this is just between us but we take this so seriously

 

Notavamp >> removed HoHoHolyShit from the conversation

 

Notavamp > enough of that the original cast can handle this

Vikingking > oh come on pleaseee

Notavamp > Lukas no

Vikingking > do I really need to say Lukas yes because I’m not

Thespaqueen > when u mature but u also like memes

Vikingking > all in favor of killing them? (I’m adding 2 for Fin and Den)

Thespaqueen > I reaallllly wanna say i buT IM NOT GONNA NOT TILL WE GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS they’re still valuable for information

Draconianbanshee > first off murder should not be the first choice even if they’ll come back second just add one of them

 

Thespaqueen >> added VietnamFlashbacks to the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > I like your username

Thespaqueen > hey read up on the chat we need to speak abt something??

VietnamFlashbacks > yeah sure

VietnamFlashbacks > ...yikes

VietnamFlashbacks > alright I vote not killing them

Vikingking > you don’t get a vote just yet

Thespaqueen > “yikes” she’s like my fav mutual who’s not my friend this is exactly why

VietnamFlashbacks > so what do you want to know?

Vikingking > what did you do to Emil, can I kill Leon, and why do you guys hate me and the rest of the nordics

VietnamFlashbacks > nothing, of course not, and we just do

Hungaryandhungry > I’m not here.

VietnamFlashbacks > oh hi not here what’s up

Thespaqueen > please just

Thespaqueen > leave

Thespaqueen > DONT DOnt we need ur help ok so I think as a sister you’re kinda seeing Leon be all upset I think you know what happens but Mei is impossible so help what happened

VietnamFlashbacks > she is but that’s not the point

VietnamFlashbacks > well Leon found the stream you guys were in when you brought up how ice was apparently the cheating type (which he was watching) and started to believe you

VietnamFlashbacks > also Mei was behind him making way too many comments which of course didn’t help :\

Vikingking > so…

VietnamFlashbacks > no you’re not killing Mei

Vikingking > dang it

Thespaqueen > brO

3catholic5u > Nor stop being so murder-y please

Thespaqueen > brO at Mei not brO at murder

Thespaqueen > ?????

Vikingking > what does that even mean

Vikingking > not being murder-y (also whatever czech said but)

3catholic5u > can I add the sensible one back now?

Notavamp > please

 

3catholic5u >> added eyebrow&sconeaesthetic to the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Did I miss much?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...Lukas you’re not killing anyone

Thespaqueen > like honestly Lukas and Francis fucked up big time we all know this where is francIS IS HE ATONING FOR HIS SINS

love&rosesaesthetic > well now I can’t watch this in peace apparently

love&rosesaesthetic > also I’ve just been sitting here trying to figure out how to fix this but it’s been too many centuries to even try to figure out how a teenager thinks

love&rosesaesthetic > is that a valid excuse

Thespaqueen > yaas

love&rosesaesthetic > well I want to leave but I really don’t just because of that

Thespaqueen > yaaS

love&rosesaesthetic > yaaas girl yaAAS

love&rosesaesthetic > no regrets

VietnamFlashbacks > you mentally killed Leon

love&rosesaesthetic > one regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mun trash has crippling depression and the fact that the pokemon go kid puts out new content only boosts that


	47. In Which Some Actual Ideas get Thrown In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Please read this!! I'm so sorry about the lack of updates. The thing is, Mun Trash has a lot of studying to do. Mun Metta is probably cramming too. Exams coming up for both of us in a month. With that being said, the upload schedule may be somewhat back to normal after that!! Please bare with us and pls tell us if you're still reading this story. Sorry for the somewhat short chapter, please enjoy!!

Vikingking >> added love&rosesaesthetic, eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, notavamp, 3catholic5u, draconianbanshee, hungaryandhungary, thefabulouspolska, and Vietnamflashbacks to the conversation.

 

Vikingking > Ice is taking this way too hard guys. He hasn't left his room at all and all the liquorice is gone… And that's a ton of liquorice

Vikingking > I won't be making many death threats BTW he needs help we need to fix this

Thefabulouspolska > shit a chat without my sister?? This is serious

Love&rosesaesthetic > I've got close to nothing here to fix this

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > zilch

Draconianbanshee > I really don't know Leon well enough so

VietnamFlashbacks > well Leon's shutting everyone out bc of this so that's a start

Thefabulouspolska > I don't think I belong in this chat but tnx for the add I'm just gonna contribute random tips I find on wikihow

3catholic5u > so… how do we fix the fuck-up?

Hungaryandhungry > well we have a problem but what are we even gonna do?? What's the goal 

Notavamp > we could always pull the tell-each-of-them-that-the-other-wants-to-apologize trick

Notavamp > but that could backfire if one of them doesn’t say it first

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You could use the trick where Lukas takes Ice to some fancy place and Vietnam takes Leon to the same place and you two excuse yourselves and it just happens on its own.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...which could also backfire.

Hungaryandhungry > should they even be getting back together tho

Vikingking > I need my brother back and I can't find the spell to do so, so… yes. 

Hungaryandhungry > what if maybe he just gets over it like you would with any unhealthy relationship through closure and family

Thefabulouspolska > you sound like you’re projecting that's really specific

Thefabulouspolska > everything ok over there

3catholic5u > one breakup at a time please, we're not miracle workers here

Hungaryandhungry > no everything's fine I just think Leon is 3 much of a dick for Emil

Vikingking > well I know that but he needs help

Hungaryandhungry > well idk like really, I don't think they're right for eachother

Vikingking > they’re right for each other if it fixes my brother 

Hungaryandhungry > they're not it's an unhealthy relationship,, it won't fix anything,,

Vietnamflashbacks > OK hold the phone what are we even arguing about

Thefabulouspolska > I don't think I'm gonna do anything but a wikihow I just found can help

Notavamp > I have an idea but you're not going to like it

Hungaryandhungry > do nothing??

Notavamp > it's easy to make 

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Vlad no

Vikingking > Vlad yes

Notavamp > love potion? 

Vikingking > I'll get tHE TOADS AND THE MUSHROOMS 

Vietnamflashbacks > fuck off Lukas we're not using magic

Vikingking > ILL BRING THE COW SHIT-- wait why? 

Vietnamflashbacks > …

Vikingking > fair point

Hungaryandhungry > can they just??? Not??

Hungaryandhungry > wait is Leon like even as upset about this honestly I doubt it

Hungaryandhungry > he broke up w Emil over the phone

Vietnamflashbacks > he's upset but he isn't chugging-liquorice-in-a-locked-room upset

Vietnamflashbacks > he's not even setting off illegal fireworks though

Hungaryandhungry > to be completely honest that's probably a good thing??

Vietnamflashbacks > not for him! 

Hungaryandhungry > like is it a very staple of his being,, does he need to set of illegal fucking fireworks to be considered alive,,

Vietnamflashbacks > basically

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I know I'm one to talk, but can't you just, I don't know, take away his phone for a month when he sets off any? Fireworks really shouldn't be used like that! 

Vikingking > too much fourth of July for you? 

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > first and foremost fuck off Lukas

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > second it's just not exactly the safest hobby in the world

Hungaryandhungry > don't fuck off this is a great convo to have as a break

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > no not really we need to fix ice and leon

Hungaryandhungry > first and foremost, fuck Leon

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > true

Notavamp > I'll pass on the offer 

Vietnamflashbacks > Leon’s fine, try fixing ice first. 

Hungaryandhungry > if Leon’s fine then no we’re not gonna get them back together I am SO gone..

Vietnamflashbacks > … Fix Leon then

3catholic5u > remove all fireworks and fired related items in a five mile radius first

3catholic5u > then have the two of them meet up face to face

Hungaryandhungry > yeah to break up properly 

Thefabulouspolska > you still sound like you’re projecting,,

Hungaryandhungry > least when you say that and Adéla were to read it, she'd know it's a joke

Vikingking > hey if it gets Ice out of his room for more than 3 minutes at a time I'll do almost anything


	48. In Which Ice's Brothers are trying their best. They're trying ok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wyd Metta can something end well for once

Vikingking >> added iceicebby to the conversation

 

Vikingking > Ice we need to talk to you get out of your room

Iceicebby > I'm fine thanks also yes I did eat the dinner you sent to my room through the portal thing

Vikingking > …

 

Vikingking >> added axesandasses, svedone, and HoHoHolyShit to the conversation 

 

HoHoHolyShit > Ice get out of your room

Iceicebby > wow no please this time what is this about??

Svedone > we're going somewhere and you need to come

Iceicebby > nngh why though 

Axesandasses > do I need to pull the “because we said so” because honestly we’re just gonna have to drag you

Iceicebby > cmonnnn 

Iceicebby > wait Ber when did you come back??

Vikingking > I got him back

Vikingking > on a separate note fin has a pistol and den has the smaller axe so we're either being let in or letting ourselves in

Iceicebby > it's not my house to worry about you guys are gonna be paying for damages

svedone > that's not the point ice but den found the first place to hit the door so open up already we don't have all day

Iceicebby > if you tell me where we’re going I'll open up if not you have a door to pay for so

Axesandasses > I will actually break your door like don't think that because it needs to get fixed we’re not gonna use force

Axesandasses > plus we can just get Lukas to magic it or something

Vikingking > wait I can just unlock the door give me a sec

Iceicebby > can't catch me the window’s next to the roof you know where I'm gonna hide out

Vikingking > we do now

Iceicebby > well I mean you can't make me do anything

Vikingking > a spell says otherwise

Iceicebby > I can literally just send you to another damn dimension try me

Vikingking > bro

Vikingking > I'm training you

Vikingking > I taught you all of your tricks

HoHoHolyShit > I dug my good pistol out of the closet for nothing, then? 

Iceicebby > all of your pistols are good pistols like?? You were planning on shooting at me how are you gonna get me someplace if I'm dead

HoHoHolyShit > ...the lock on the door and to get you to move is what I was going to use it for

Svedone > I honestly am doing nothing except from stopping Fin from shooting anything of value so… 

Axesandasses > like can't Lukas just grab you w magic or control you or something I don't know I just,

Axesandasses > honestly I don't think you two should be fighting w the magic stuff

Vikingking > I don't exactly want to be the only one doing something while you three are just staring outside the doorway

Vikingking > and besides I can't stop fin, find ice, and bring him and the rest of us that easily. I can't concentrate on too many things at once or else something ends up turning into ice shards

Iceicebby > word of advice: don't go in my room

Vikingking > door’s unlocked

Vikingking > why are there 9 portals where do these even lead 

Iceicebby > don't forget those two time rips and that one growing dark space in the ceiling corner near my door which is literally the universe eating my wall

Vikingking > ...and I'm the one stuck fixing this?

Iceicebby > ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Iceicebby > if I'm gonna go with you guys where are we even headed

Svedone > nowhere that special but is it even safe to be in your void of a room now

Iceicebby > idk I was fine in there but I wasn't sitting or standing anywhere so just kinda floated over my bed since there's like a portal right there,

Vikingking > you need to stop getting into so many tumblr arguments 

Iceicebby > yes because I am ruining my own life over an argument I had with a regressive left online, absolutely 

HoHoHolyShit > wait you guys didn't even fill me in on where we were going just that we had to get Ice by any means necessary

Iceicebby > enlighten me I'd love to know

Vikingking > you're going to see someone

Vikingking > wait a sec he ran out the window onto the roof

Vikingking > well I froze his legs so he should be fine

Iceicebby > ok but I do this all the time when I don't want you guys to see I'm leaving why do you think this is dangerous

Vikingking > no we're just leaving in a minute or two

Iceicebby > COME ON

Iceicebby > I'm not doing this

Axesandasses > you look like you're mourning someone’s death what are you wearing and why does your hair look as messy as mine’s

Vikingking > honestly what else do I need to fix? sve’s long lost tables? Den’s hair? Fin’s gun storage problem? Now I have this to work with? 

Iceicebby > I look fine. my legs hurt you can start with that

Vikingking > let me just drag you over to us first I really don't feel like going over there now

Vikingking > fine you're free to walk but please at least make yourself look relatively human and somewhat alive

Iceicebby > I look fine though

Svedone > you're in all black and a tornado swept through your hair. You're anything but fine

Iceicebby > why are we even texting

Axesandasses > because we're not gonna yell and you’re sitting on the roof 

Hohoholyshit > basically

Hohoholyshit > also I didn’t even know you had so much black

Hohoholyshit > do you mourn the death of memes or something??

Iceicebby > that's irrelevant at the moment donT 

Vikingking > you need to stop mourning dead memes

Iceicebby > don't tell me how to live my life and please tell me where we’re going

Axesandasses > “don't tell me how to live my life” CRAWLING IN MY SKIIIN

Svedone > wait what

Svedone > am I missing something here should I look it up

axesandasses > no Emil is just an edgy teen that's all

Svedone > well I know that but where is that line from

Axesandasses > the edgiest of the edgy edgy teen music

Svedone > well that narrows it down but what’s it called tho I have no clue

Axesandasses > does it matter

Svedone > just a bit

Svedone > come on Den it’s only a title is it that difficult to write

Axesandasses > I feel like it's something you'd like unironically so uh no we have to go tho

Svedone > tell me the title

Axesandasses > crawling by Linkin Park it's literally a meme

Axesandasses > WE ARE GONNA BE LATE GUYS CMON Ice you have to come here?? 

Axesandasses > also if I can ask HEY FIN BRING YOUR GUN

Hohoholyshit > I thought you’d never ask

Vikingking > fin put the gun down

Hohoholyshit > just one?

Vikingking > no guns

Hohoholyshit > fine

Svedone > alright we’re a few feet away from each other why aren’t we talking we haven’t even looked up 

Svedone > speaking isn’t that difficult come on guys

Axesandasses > Not really but meh I mean Ice can see the convo 

Axesandasses > also speaking of hiM IF YOU DONT COME HERE NOW

Vikingking > I’ll train the lynx to kill frogs and anything else meme-related if you don’t get over here now.

Iceicebby > where are we going thoUGH IF YOU DONT TELL ME ALL THE FROGS IN THE WORLD CAN DIE I don't give a shit they aren't the one true boi or Pepe 

Vikingking > who are you and what have you done to my brother Ice practically worships frogs at this point 

Iceicebby > I legit don't care about actual frogs unless they're looking through photo albums or on unicycles

Vikingking > wait… so you don’t have a frog fetish, then?

Iceicebby > kys nO

Vikingking > if you get off of the roof and make yourself look remotely human than I'll consider it.

Iceicebby > rude at least tELL ME WHERE WERE GOING and ok at least give me a hint

Hohoholyshit > I'll give you a hint you'll want to kill yourself when you get there

Iceicebby > so I'm assuming there's no wifi

Hohoholyshit > something a bit worse

Iceicebby > wait you said we’re going to see someone?

Iceicebby > ohh fuck no.

Hohoholyshit > wasn’t my idea

Svedone > I was against it but

Vikingking > guys come one he’s more isolated than usual

Iceicebby > do I have any say in this?

Vikingking > only if you want to be able to access the internet and have wifi for the rest of the year

Iceicebby > why are you making me do this we hate eachother

Iceicebby > or maybe that's just him idk

Vikingking > you know you don’t hate him, you just…

Vikingking > sort of fell flat on your face in terms of relationships

Iceicebby > Oh me?? You are an actual human relationship-fucker-upper 

Vikingking > and now it the time for you to be an actual human relationship-fucker-upper-fixer

Svedone > that was the single cringiest thing I have ever read

Svedone > in my entire life

Iceicebby > you literally are in my room which has my hate comments pasted around the room wyd 

Iceicebby > Lukas honestly you have an obligation to be there and apoLOGIZE

Vikingking > after you two fix this then fine

Iceicebby > you broke it

Iceicebby > you are obligated tO FIX IT OK

Vikingking > I mean he blocked me so...

Vikingking > yeah have fun

Iceicebby > well I blocked him

Vikingking > well you’re leaving to go see him

Iceicebby > fine if it's quick I guess it'll be fine but like honestly iF I START CRYING it's your fault

Vikingking > I’m oddly ok with that in this situation

Axesandasses > if he gets you to cry he's not gonna get to do anything else he’s getting stabbed so no worries :))

Vikingking > well he’s going to be stabbed multiple times if he purposely does it

Hohoholyshit > and shot

Svedone > if I could just get one good, solid punch on him that would be great

Iceicebby > wYD GUYS 

Hohoholyshit > I’m not so sure at the moment

Iceicebby > chill


	49. In which he fucking "scoffed"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That, and I don't care what Metta said, was not a scoff.
> 
> Idea of "A couple breaking up and everyone trying to get them back together" by Audrey. Honestly, somehow it was going wrong and then we just decided to try to get back to the suggestion. Audrey if u reading this u basically ghost wrote this like wow

Iceicebby >> added weebpyromania to the conversation 

 

Weebpyromania > what do you want now

Iceicebby > well since you're refusing to talk to me and we're literally locked in this room till we make up I thought I'd text you

Iceicebby > but hey that's just me

Weebpyromania > I can’t even fake that at this point, looks like we’re stuck here for a while

Iceicebby > well I guess so but mY BROTHERS ARE LITERALLY RIGHT OUTSIDE so

Weebpyromania > let me guess

Weebpyromania > Fin has a gun,

Weebpyromania > Nor has a spell book,

Weebpyromania > Den has the black and purple battle axe,

Weebpyromania > and Swe is cracking his knuckles

Iceicebby > congrats for knowing my brothers. And yeah that's what I'm alluding to here

Weebpyromania > what is wrong with your family that was sarcastic

Weebpyromania > I can see why you have so many problems now, though

Iceicebby > well I mean you're sister was always terrible towards me and like,, there's that but I don't see what's wrong with my brothers

Iceicebby > They actually kinda care unlike you

Weebpyromania > shocking

Iceicebby > actually what did I ever do like I'm very confused?? Do you just manage to somehow find someway to be offended

Weebpyromania > read your own chats, you’ll see reason enough

Iceicebby > honestly if you're offended by a joke my brother made and the overly sensitive friend who just likes giving romance advice so don't know what to tell you 

Weebpyromania > ...but a joke where everyone agreed?

Iceicebby > I think you know by now things go a little too far in the chat

Iceicebby > buT BOOHOO WOW IM SO SORRY I FUCKING

Iceicebby > I don't know how I was gonna finish that but you get the idea

Weebpyromania > but even that girl who barely knew you at the time said it

Iceicebby > like honestly she's human no offense but how do you take anything she says seriously

Iceicebby > my original point stands. You maybe could've, oh I don't know, spoken to me about it?

Weebpyromania > why bother? You’ll just brush it off like you always do and bring up something you found online

Iceicebby > OH COME ON I NEVER DO THAT

Iceicebby > oh did ~Mei~ bring that up?

Weebpyromania > yeah actually, along with everyone else in my family

Iceicebby > she always hated me tho. And let's be honest, she hates everyone 

Weebpyromania > she really does in a happy-go-lucky way but everyone else just hates you

Iceicebby > wow can't believe that actually we've been through so much and you break up with me cuz ur fucking triggered about a joke my friend made

Weebpyromania > they’ve been trying to break us up for a while now anyways, I just took the next step

Weebpyromania > I did your family a favor, really

Iceicebby > oh please. He doesn't think, he just does. He's just really protective, and it gets to him.

Weebpyromania > what doesn’t get to him? I’m impressed he hasn’t started the next ice age by now

Weebpyromania > speak of the devil, ice is seeping through the door

Iceicebby > I think he can see you're glaring at me across the table 

Weebpyromania > let him, I do it enough already

Iceicebby > HONESTLY you glare across the fucking ocean. 

Weebpyromania > force of habit, I guess

Iceicebby > well I mean I thought texting you would start a conversation but I guess not

Weebpyromania > I’m surprised there’s an actual table here and not a couch or something

Weebpyromania > they really stink at planning these things, huh

Iceicebby > I mean they fucked over a relationship they might as well fuck over trying to fix it.

Iceicebby > I know either way that's not gonna happen

Iceicebby > did

Iceicebby > did you just laugh that was possibly the shitiest joke I've ever told

Weebpyromania > no that was a scoff

Weebpyromania > you know when an air bubble gets caught in your throat and your voice is distorted yeah that was meant to be a scoff

Iceicebby > no I'm sure that that was not a scoff

Weebpyromania > well it was

Iceicebby > I LITERALLY HAVE HEARD YOU SCOFF BEFORE THAT,, that was a laugh

Weebpyromania > IT WAS THE AIR BUBBLE NOT ME,, why can’t you get that?? I scoffed!

Iceicebby > that was a lauGH you did the weird snort thing that was definitely a laugh

Weebpyromania > scoff with an air bubble and an itchy nose,,

Iceicebby > that lasted too long to be a scoff AND you did the snort thing that was absolutely a laugh

Weebpyromania > failed scoff

Iceicebby > just admit it you laughed

Iceicebby > you're such a liar,

Weebpyromania > didn’t laugh,,

Weebpyromania > alright get the stupid grin of your face I can’t glare properly

Iceicebby > admit thaT YOU LAUGHED this just,, 

Weebpyromania > you’ll never hear me say it,, I don’t lie about these matters,, I scoffed,, you’re delusional,, 

Iceicebby > wow you did iT AGAIN you're really bad at scoffing huh

Weebpyromania > terrible

Weebpyromania > complete trash

Iceicebby > wow was that a scoffing fit just

Iceicebby > just a loud fit of shitty scoffing 

Weebpyromania > you weren’t any better scoffing than I was

Weebpyromania > you actually seemed to laugh

Iceicebby > I'm not gonna lie, that was a laugh,

Iceicebby > you have to admit it too tho

Weebpyromania > lies

Weebpyromania > lies and slander

Weebpyromania > I still hate you tho

Weebpyromania > wait why is Lukas staring me down through the window I feel violated

Iceicebby > welcome to the club where I have to start using snapchat because if not he'll see every message I ever send

Weebpyromania > saaame

Weebpyromania > I swear Mei has a scandinavian brother she doesn’t know about

Iceicebby > I can't she of all people is the one who goes through your messages?? 

Weebpyromania > oh yeah

Iceicebby > “oh. Oh no he looks like he’s happier than usual I'm calling the police”

Weebpyromania > happy as in happy or as in ~gay~

Iceicebby > that was possibly the shittiest thing you have ever said and I feel personally attacked lmao

Weebpyromania > well it was worth a try

Iceicebby > wow careful there edgelord you might cut somebody

Weebpyromania > aren’t you the edgelord here?

Iceicebby > oh yeah all week it's been Linkin park and all black lmao my brother went to ask “who died”

Weebpyromania > which one?

Iceicebby > yes

Weebpyromania > ok stop the stupid chuckle I don’t want to go back to aggressively scoffing

Iceicebby > this got derailed fast

Weebpyromania > I had a completely different plan to this that might have gotten me killed

Weebpyromania > today is not a good day to get impaled (shot, punched, decapitated, etc.)

Iceicebby > is any

Weebpyromania > mondays

Iceicebby > true

Iceicebby > I JUST REALIZED WHY OUR SIBLINGS WERE LAUGHING OUTSIDE

Iceicebby > the door’s been unloCKED FOR A GOOD WHILE NOW

Weebpyromania > FREEDOM 

Weebpyromania > actually this seat’s pretty comfortable can I just chill here for a bit

Iceicebby > yeah same

Weebpyromania > wait does that mean Lukas was laughing his ass off too

Weebpyromania > I drove your big brother to insanity,, I’m sorry,, 

Iceicebby > that's fine I bet he's gonna annoy me the rest of the day so thANKS 5 that.

Weebpyromania > just doing my best

Iceicebby > mutuals?

Weebpyromania > hm… online friends?

Weebpyromania > you have this look on your face do I need to add the wink emoji

Iceicebby > wow can't believe you think so low of me,, a winky face,, scandalous 

Weebpyromania > this is too much gay for my heart to handle

Iceicebby > honestly,, so,, we cool?

Weebpyromania > we cool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Metta had this idea where they argue over whether Leon snorted or laughed and it just slowly progressed. I just kinda went with it y'know I really don't like being sad so


	50. In Which Czech accidentally snorts powdered glitter (yeah thats a real thing)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guess who's not actually back but is still really trying to ace exams and do all of their HW and write this

Iceicebby >> added vikingking, notavamp, eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, thespaqueen, hungaryandhungary, mybrothersavampire, 3catholic5u, draconianbanshee, love&rosesaesthetic, and thefabulouspolska to the conversation

 

Vikingking > so… how’d it go? 

Iceicebby > Sorry I came home late I lost track of time. And pretty well.

Iceicebby > we kinda dodged the conversation that was planned as soon as we could so I'm not sure if we really resolved anything but it's nice that he's willing to look me in the eye now

Thespaqueen > we asked for an answer not an essay and a commentary on the reason of life ok

Vikingking > also… what was with the whole scoff argument? You did say a bit of that out loud… even if that was the only thing said the entire time

3catholic5u > so you fixed it over text?

Iceicebby > after a while we were kinda fluctuating between text and speaking but yeah 

3catholic5u > nice

Hungaryandhungry > anyone else think that a relationship where you only avoid problems is unhealthy? No?

Iceicebby > we never established that we're really even together again, but for now we're on good terms and at some point we’re going to have to sit down and talk about issues.

Thespaqueen > ew feelings remove them

Draconianbanshee > yeah don't listen to Czech feelings are good here

Draconianbanshee > anywhere else she's right but,, 

Thespaqueen > by default you just admitted that I'm right about not being short

Draconianbanshee > and there's your first wrong answer,, this is a historic moment,, the world is coming to an end,, 

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > on a separate note aside from Czech, how exactly did Lukas react? He won't tell me, so it must have been pure gold

Iceicebby > he just had this vacant look and he was at first really pissed that we weren't talking but then like the scoff thing happened and he was just randomly laughing and unlocked the door

Iceicebby > aND WE STAYED AFTERWARDS FOR LIKE HOURS

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > …he actually laughed? 

Vikingking > and? 

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > this chat has changed you

Notavamp > and of course I missed it

Iceicebby > I can add him if u want and we caN GET A CONFIRMATION ON HIM NOT KNOWING HOW TO SCOFF

Love&rosesaesthetic > do it

 

Iceicebby >> added weebpyromania to the conversation 

 

Iceicebby > I have you surrounded u gonna admit you laughed yet

Weebpyromania > alright fine

Weebpyromania > I scoffed with an air bubble in my throat 

Iceicebby > like honestly I have you surrounded and we have witnesses here

Weebpyromania > you'll never get it out of me

Thespaqueen > that's what she said

Vikingking > can confirm that ice is right

Iceicebby > hA

Weebpyromania > I failed a scofF OK

Vikingking > miserably, I could add

Weebpyromania > … 

Weebpyromania > fine fine I laughed at a stupid joke

Iceicebby > hA

Weebpyromania > happy? 

Iceicebby > absolutely tbh

Vikingking > wait I just noticed you've been in the kitchen for more than 10 minutes my brother is happy holy shit finally

Iceicebby > wow thank honestly please don't start

Vikingking > for so long you've just isolated yourself from all of us and it's just good to see you in something other than black for a change 

Vikingking > and you're actually smiling and it's just

Iceicebby > stOP IT I didn't ask to be harassed 

Vikingking > its just makes this house so much brighter,, so much more pleasant knowing that no one is mourning,, 

Iceicebby > IM CALLING CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES ITS TIME TO STOP

Vikingking > I'm your older brother I have a free pass with this stuff

Iceicebby > like also I'm still thousands of years olD BUT HEY ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO STOP

Vikingking > as I was saying--

Vikingking > it's a gift,, alright I ran out of material you're safe for now

Iceicebby > help

Thespaqueen > allow me to add on

Thespaqueen > we honestly missed you, especially since you were too depressed to text us, thank you for coming back

Vikingking > you were so close to us but still light years away, and having you back down with us is the greatest thing I can imagine

Iceicebby > OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME IT'S TIME TO STOP

Weebpyromania > I'm never letting these texts go this is amazing 

Iceicebby > S T O P O ‘ C L O C K F O L K S

Vikingking > really? I think it's time for you to get a better watch because mine says to just keep going with this

Thespaqueen > y'all have somE WEIRD WATCHES where can I get them

Draconianbanshee > Amazon or eBay tbh

Thespaqueen I'm gonna get a custom watch with a stop sign on it

Draconianbanshee > would it by any chance be a blue stop sign? 

Thespaqueen > you mean a trash can? I'm sure you can find something for that if you look hard enough

Draconianbanshee > ...well played

Thespaqueen > :)

Thefabulouspolska > can you please explain what happened before though I'm confused

Thefabulouspolska > I wasn't even told what happened this chat just started I'm unprepared 

Vikingking > funny story,,

Vikingking > me and a few others kind of messed with Ice’s relationship and… well… accused him of cheating in a joking way of course

Thefabulouspolska > Oh yeah I was there then I'm talking about yesterday I feel like the only one who doesn't know 

Weebpyromania > wasn’t that explained? I came in, we texted across a table, I glared to no end, I /scoffed/, we broke out /scoffing/, and just hung out and made up basically.

Thefabulouspolska > once more I just like the story for some reason tbh

Weebpyromania > I came in, we texted across a table, I glared to no end, I /scoffed/, we broke out /scoffing/, and just hung out and made up basically. -happy?

thefabulouspolska > yes

Thefabulouspolska > can we make a vow not to fuck with your relationship again honestly

Thefabulouspolska > and your bios online both say “it's complicated” for relationship status??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > we’ll let him be, then

Vikingking > I won’t mess with you two so extremely

Iceicebby > or at all would be nice

Vikingking > I’ll draw the line at screwing you guys up when you’re playing mariokart or any other game

Iceicebby > wow rude

Notavamp > is that all sorted out now? Can we get back to our regularly scheduled shitty conversations?

Notavamp > yeah?

Notavamp > thanks guys for not disagreeing

Thespaqueen > new topic: I walked into Feliks’s room again after the longest time and then I realized why I stopped going in in the first place

Draconianbanshee > how bedazzled was it?

Thespaqueen > it took me a week to get all of the glittery sparkly things and tiny beads out of my hair and such it wAS TERRIBLE

Thespaqueen > I'm gonna have to deal with this again

Thefabulouspolska > I have no impulse control “hey is that new stationary and glitter and shit who even bought this idk but it's going in my room”

Thespaqueen > the usual way you text really tells the exact opposite of you you text like a normal, sane, human being

Thespaqueen > and then irl you jusT “WHO LIKE DARES ME TO LIKE POUR THIS FUCKING GLITTER GLUE ON LIETS FACE WHEN HES LIKE SLEEPING AND STUFF”

Thefabulouspolska > I feel really attacked 

Notavamp > I just realized we’re running low on frogs we need to fix that

Iceicebby > on it how rare would you like your pepes 

Notavamp > just actual frogs

Thespaqueen > yeah you're right where is Francis lmao

love&rosesaesthetic > alright listen you little shit

love&rosesaesthetic > only Arthur calls me frog

Thespaqueen > if he wasn't gonna say it I had to bring up the joke somehow

Thespaqueen > and I was gonna make a sex joke out of what you just said but honestly it's already there

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You make enough of them already, say it.

Thespaqueen > no I mean I just don't have to Francis basically just 

Thespaqueen > nvm

love&rosesaesthetic > Francis basically just what?

love&rosesaesthetic > ...oh

Thespaqueen > I was gonna leave because you didn't get the joke

Notavamp > but in all honestly we have almost no frogs

Vikingking > we’re just low on supplies right now tbh 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > We don’t have many spirit cores, either, now that I think about it.

Draconianbanshee > wait wtf is a spirit core

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > We don’t actually know but they’re cheap on eBay and they’re useful.

Draconianbanshee > is there some sort of nation eBay out there bc there are no spirit cores on mine

Thespaqueen > no I bet theres a black market for it 

Iceicebby > I get my memes same place where I get my magic items: from a scary looking guy in a hoodie in the alley behind our building

love&rosesaesthetic > voldemort?

Iceicebby > yes because voldemort is a scary middle aged man in a black hoodie with a huge bag of drugs beside him behind a brick building.

love&rosesaesthetic > seems legit enough

Thespaqueen > I THINK I INHALED GLITTER

3catholic5u > just get out of his room already then

Thespaqueen > I D I D YOU KNOW THE THING WHERE YOU PUT YOUR SHIRT TO YOUR NOSE AND MOUTH IF YOU’RE BREATHING IN EITHER TOO MANY CHEMICALS OR SHITTY AIR FRESHENER

Thespaqueen > I DID THAT AND JUST INHALED WHAT IS PRoBABLY AN ACTUAL METRIC TON OF GLITTER

Notavamp > I’m not sure if i should be impressed that you’re not dead or just roll around laughing

Thespaqueen > KYS THIS IS TERRIBLE

3catholic5u > well you’re well enough to text so how bad could it be?

Thespaqueen > no I just died a little inside

Notavamp > ~hello darkness my old friend~

Iceicebby > I WANNA TALK WITH YOU AGAIN

Iceicebby > i don’t know the rest

Thespaqueen > did you learn this song via memes or emo teen-ness

Vikingking > here we go…

Iceicebby > I’m just gonna answer with a yes and be done with it

Thespaqueen > do I have permission to start annoying him again

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Depends on which him.

Thespaqueen > can I annoy Ice now it’s the only highlight of my day

Vikingking > well here’s the thing-- you’ve only really managed to get on Ireland’s nerves once or twice

3catholic5u > I trusted you

Thespaqueen > fam I wasn’t talking to you the way to get to you is offensive imgs

Draconianbanshee > are you kidding you make them hilarious

Thespaqueen > I feel like he got really offended over the ring thing I made

3catholic5u > well the timing was terrible,,

Thespaqueen > buttfuck

3catholic5u > and then that happened,,

Thespaqueen > my meemees are a mistake of Satan and I both accept and am proud of this fact

Draconianbanshee > that’s a common rule with everything actually

Thespaqueen > am I reading that right or did you just call me a mistake

Draconianbanshee > fuck

Draconianbanshee > not what I meant 

Draconianbanshee > but yeah

Thespaqueen > what’s that copy-pasta about the army guy who says he’s gonna take out the internet trolls who threatened him

Notavamp > the what

Notavamp > seriously somethings need to just stop existing,, wtf,,

Thespaqueen > I FEEL THREATENED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Qaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.


	51. In Which Den is Actually Fine for Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its short but here you go

Axesandasses >> added vikingking to the conversation

Axesandasses > Why do you talk about Vlad so much it’s getting on my nerves we don’t need to hear about your stupid relationship every five seconds

Axesandasses > we’re sitting at the dinner table and I’m trying not to puke this conversation is so trashy pls stop

Vikingking > I didn’t really notice now that you mention it

Vikingking > I really don’t know why I’m talking so much either

Axesandasses > thanks, can you quit it?

Vikingking > not a problem

 

Vikingking >> added notavamp to the conversation

 

Vikingking > finger slipped, didn’t mean to do that

Axesandasses > on mobile you have to type in a command to add people that doesnT SEEM LIKE AN ACCIDENT

Vikingking > bravo, you’ve seen through my sinister plot for world domination

Axesandasses > can you just stop talking about Edward the sexy vampire™ now

Notavamp > first off I didn’t ask to be here

Notavamp > second we do not speak of Edward

Notavamp > and third,,

Notavamp > so, you do think I’m sexy then?

Axesandasses > I was being sarcastic shithead

 

Notavamp >> added eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, 3catholic5u, love&rosesaesthetic, draconianbanshee, thespaqueen, mybrothersavampire, thefabulouspolska, hungaryandhungary, and iceicebby to the conversation

 

Notavamp > sorry, finger slipped

Axesandasses > why do bad things happen to good people

Axesandasses > @Lukas that applies to you too

Vikingking > why would it?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > not to interrupt or anything but why exactly are we here and who’s choosing what side

Notavamp > salt factor and seriously you should join mine

Axesandasses > VL A D  IS A DIC K H E AD

Notavamp > you’re one to talk, but I’d rather not bring that up

Axesandasses > WHat did you just say to me yoU LIttLE ShiT 

Notavamp > just read it again, I don’t want to repeat myself

Axesandasses > I started calmly asking for Lukas to shut the fuck up about his boyfriend and everything changed when the fire nation attacked

Vikingking > well you don’t just ask someone to stop talking about their significant other it’s considered rude

Axesandasses > so are you but I’m not being a whiny bitch about it

Axesandasses > and it’s just kinda annoying?? I’m not the only one who finds it annoying

Iceicebby > I used to but your reactions are just 3 beautiful

love&rosesaesthetic > I just read this over and vlad did you really need to ask if he thought you were sexy

love&rosesaesthetic > seriously vlad

Notavamp > it was fair game

Axesandasses > that’s really shady I’m not even gonna lie

Axesandasses > why would I think anything good about you that’s REALLY shady

Draconianbanshee > oh snap

Thespaqueen > the best part is Vlad is never this savage unless he’s arguing with Matthias

Thespaqueen > watch him get fucking triggered over that

Notavamp > It’s not really working

Thespaqueen > that’s truly an achievement he’s not going all trigglypuff about that I was seriously expecting that

Vikingking > he’s definitely triggered

Axesandasses > 8/8

Iceicebby > quit stealing my memes I’m calling the police

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > “I’d like to report a theft”

Iceicebby > *Kim Kardashian Voice* He- He stole my memes- my rare meemees,,

Axesandasses > ok I can’t tell if he’s being serious he spams the chat used for actual business during world meetings with random Putin memes and it’s the scariest thing

Thespaqueen > why are you telling us this,, we know all too well

3catholic5u > don’t make ice start. Please.

Iceicebby > If Ivan wasn’t already in a permanent state of lowkey triggered oh boy does that change 0-10 really quickly

Thespaqueen > remember the time he got Leon to hack my account so he could spam from there and not get in trouble,,

Hungaryandhungry > no I’m pretty sure that was just you

love&rosesaesthetic > can we get back to roasting Den and just keeping this chat straightforward?

Axesandasses > why am I so hated this is terrible

Vikingking > (I hate to bring this up, but) I’m still slightly in shock that they forgave me-- someone close to them who did something terrible, making it worse-- and not someone who played little part in it that just happened to support said action

Vikingking > don’t hate me please but can you consider not hating him… not as much at least?

Thespaqueen > IDKKKKK that sounds pretty gay y’know

Vikingking > and… this is new?

Thespaqueen > oh shit we need responses

Axesandasses > I’m kinda scared if I say anything else Vlad is gonna get really triggered and everyone else is gonna back him

Notavamp > stop being rude about it all and nothing will happen

Axesandasses > I THINK ITS JUST ANNOYING WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT THE SAME PERSON FOR HOURS HOW DID THIS ESCALATE SO FAST

Vikingking > well I can’t talk about Arthur without fear of his family creeping up in the night to kill me, Ireland doesn’t have much going on at the moment besides what’s been said, Czech’s just a mess in general, 

Thespaqueen > triggered

Vikingking > sure you are

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > forget my family I’d sneak in at night and kill you myself

Thespaqueen > “I’d sneak in at night and kill you myself”  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > SHIT

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Just let me die in peace,,

Thespaqueen > honestly I wasn’t always like this what happened

Hungaryandhungry > it’s funny I used to think you guys were normal friends who hung out by the water cooler and just casually talked but nopE

Vikingking > just death threats, actual murder, memes, and salt here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trash: Ok so do we bring Den into this  
> Metta: Yes we can give den a happy chapter


	52. In Which

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm blaming Metta

scone&eyebrowaesthetic >> added soavamp, thespaqueen, iceicebb, hungryandhungary, love&rosesaesthetic, thefabulouspolska, 3catholic5u, vikingking, axesandasses, and mybrothersavampire to the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > something is bothering me about your usernames but I can’t tell what it is and it’s driving me nuts

love&rosesaesthetic > its honestly not flowing as smoothly for me either

Iceicebb > What do you mean, these were always our usernames.

Soavamp > nothing’s really changed, guys

Thespaqueen > ok then “so a vamp”. That sounds 1. Really basic and 2. You never call yourself a vampire.

soavamp > I don’t? Oh yeah, I forgot about that

Thespaqueen > OH NO. IM NOT DEALING WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN GUYS ITS NOT EVEN APRIL

Thespaqueen > Last april was the worst why are you guys starting with this earlY

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > come on Czech, it’s never too late to start early!

Thespaqueen > since when were you so positive jesus this seems like something out of those low-budget horror movies

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > testing you, I’m just as angry as ever

Thespaqueen > I’m more angry you didn’t put a period at the end of your sentence

Hungryandhungary > Yeah, he always does that.

Thespaqueen > she’s in on it to?? How many of you guys are even in on this?

soavamp > Hungary what are you trying to do?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > And in on what?

Hungryandhungary > right, sorry. And wow Dela I thought you had trust in your boyfriend

Thespaqueen > boyfriend?? Ok I’m confused honestly what’s going on

Vikingking > Vlad, spill

soavamp > Who’s Vlad again?

Iceicebb > ANYONE gonnA talK ABouT DeLA USING “she”??

Thespaqueen > wow this is really weird what is even happening

soavamp > oh right its just a prank

Hungryandhungary > what? Honestly yoU shoulD REspEcT mY PRONOUNS

Thespaqueen > I’m not even sure if you’re meming you didn’t use “!!1!”. My name isn’t even Dela.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Hungary, could you be any less smooth? (S)he completely forgot (her)his lines! 

Thespaqueen > Is this unironic? Like honestly, I didn’t realize you used he and you could’ve told me a bit sooner. Also who is this even

Hungryandhungary > shit sorry?? Also, I think you might want to check your privilege Dela.

3catholic5u > wait, why didn’t you add Myrna?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Who? Which nation is that?

Iceicebb > Oh right sorry, we know who that is.

Iceicebb > What’s her username again?

3catholic5u > its draconianbanshee guys she’s always here

love&rosesaesthetic > who hit you on the back of the head with a baseball bat?

Iceicebb > That’s a really ableist thing to say considering some people actually have brain damage from that.

Thespaqueen > Case and point ^^^

Vikingking > Vlad seriously what’s going on

soavamp > why are you asking me of all people?

Vikingking > …

Axesandasses > Sorry I was ignoring this it doesn’t concern me but uh,,

Axesandasses > BACK THE FUCK OFF.

soavamp > why would i need to? I didn’t do anything wrong this time

Axesandasses > You’re being a massive dick, but maybe that’s just always.

soavamp > oh, so you’re starting to feel sentimental now? What about all the other times you almost killed Loki?

Vikingking > Loki?

soavamp > well that’s your name, isn’t it?

Axesandasses > Slow down, you don’t know you’re boyfriend’s name.

Axesandasses > Ok I mean Lukas I don’t think now is a good time to say I told you so but I TOLD YOU SO.

soavamp > ...he’s my boyfriend

soavamp > you’re kidding right? Because if so that’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard

Axesandasses > Lukas I think you need to leave the conversation. We need to talk

Vikingking > oh I think I’ll stay

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Vas is just joking, aren’t you? There’s no reason to worry!

Thespaqueen > I’m so confused and the usernames are weird. I’m assuming something magic-y went wrong, since I know the personality body thing has happened before

Thespaqueen > Still, this is weird

Axesandasses > Honestly I don’t care what magic excuse they have

soavamp > come on Den or whatever the hell your name is, don’t tell me you forgot how much you love messing with Norway

Axesandasses > Yeah but there’s a thin line between messing with and just being a dick

Axesandasses > I feel like you took a chainsaw to this line and completely destroyed it but that’s just me

love&rosesaesthetic > did you guys skip over the fact that England-- I am not calling that bastard arthur-- called him Vas?

Thespaqueen > Oh shit calm down I’m almost sure this is a magic accident

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Watch your language, I didn’t say anything bad to you.

Thespaqueen > On seCONd THOUghT

3catholic5u > so you don’t know our names, you don’t know your names, you don’t know who I’m engaged to, and you expect us to believe you’re them?

Thespaqueen > yeah but we seemed to already have them in our contacts AND they knew our usernames. Well I mean the last one could be the livestream but seriously.

Thespaqueen > Plus look at Ice’s ig story. He talks about casting some weird spell on it and then we got the messages.

love&rosesaesthetic > yeah ok on a more important note how do I get arthur back

Thespaqueen > shit I don’t know magic I don’t even like reading real books let alone spell ones,,

Thespaqueen > I’m not defending them for being rude I’m JUST saying it’d be dumb to think that nothing happened when the evidence is right there.

soavamp > do I really need to teleport over to show you its a joke? Yeah it worked for a while but we’re changing our usernames back after this. Honestly I just needed a solid way to end things and this seemed like the best way.

Thespaqueen > that’s really shitty of you guys why did you even do this in the first place?? It’s dumb.

soavamp > well, if you couldn’t tell, it was just a fun way to break up with someone.

Axesandasses > “fun way to break up with someone” please tell me this isn’t gonna be what I think it is

soavamp > depends on how messed up you are, and apparently you’ve actually improved

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Vlad you’re taking it all a bit far, don’t you think?

love&rosesaesthetic > I swear to whatever God I find suitable Arthur you need to fuck off and burn in hell

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Watch your mouth Francois.

Thespaqueen > Something is seriously wrong with you guys this is nothing like you. What even happened?

Thespaqueen > Honestly you two were so incredibly close, clearly nothing’s good enough. Nevermind all that though, just lose my acc and my #, I’m just not gonna talk to you anymore.

soavamp > when someone loses their leverage why keep them around?

 

Thespaqueen >> left the conversation

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Vas it’s time to drop it, we have more important things to consider

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > *Vlad

Hungryandhungary > Leave this chat then, we need to talk about something.

soavamp > but their reactions are priceless! I can’t turn up the offer to break Norway even more!

Axesandasses > Lay off, you’re the worst kind of person. Lukas we need to talk, don’t stay in the chat

Hungryandhungary > Enough, drop the conversation

Vikingking > Vlad I swear to God I will watch you burn

soavamp > I’d enjoy it

 

Vikingking >> has left the conversation

soavamp > run along den, you don’t want to keep him waiting

Axesandasses > Oh please do us all a favor and descend back into hell. Why did you think this’d be a funny joke? 

Axesandasses > besides, I was almost sure about you. Thanks for proving me right.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Vasile, you’re taking things too far. I don’t want to get rid of any of them for good, they seem like decent people!

Axesandasses > Arthur, do us all a favor and jump off a cliff

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I’ve tried it, love, and it isn’t fun-- not to mention that the screams of the people I push off are deafening. 

 

Axesandasses >> left the conversation.

 

3catholic5u > Arthur, you’ve never done either of those things. What the hell is wrong with you?


	53. In Which - part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know, this story is going downhill. Metta and I spend wayyyyy too much time planning this out.

Vikingking >> added axesandasses, love&rosesaesthetic, thespaqueen, and 3catholic5u to the conversation

 

Vikingking > does anyone know what the hell is going on? I’ve gone through every damn spellbook I know of and nothing matches

Axesandasses > Look, it may not be easy to hear but I don’t think it was a spell.

Vikingking > vlad would have softened it, he would have done it better, and he wouldn’t have done it to try to break me

Axesandasses > I really don’t know. I don’t think that would have to do with any spell from any book, I don’t think “massive fucking jerk” is in any of those magic things. It really doesn’t sound like something any good or sane person would do, but it’s the only logical conclusion

3catholic5u > and what about my brother? He said he pushed people off of a cliff and that he threw himself down as well!

Axesandasses > That honestly surprises me more than the other thing.

love&rosesaesthetic > his patterns were off. The grammar was strange, he never uses ‘love’ like that, and for goWhatss sakes he knows our names! He didn’t go to my house yesterday and apparently he didn’t go to his either.

Thespaqueen > You guys are forgetting Ice and Liz. Liz was just off the wall, I’m not gonna even start on the act but she was just,, you know she has really strong opinions on relationships. She would never participate in anything like this.

Thespaqueen > Ice was acting opposite of what he usually does, we all know that he knows what a rough breakup feels like. He would never play with someone’s emotions like that.

Thespaqueen > I just don’t know what’s going on.

Love&rosesaesthetic > all we have going for us is that we have two of their names: Vasile and whoever Loki is

Axesandasses > I know I hate some of your friends. I’m not gonna lie, I REALLY distrust them, but this just seems like something a friend of YOURS would do Lukas. I know you have good judgement. I know that they’re kind to you this is just really weird.

Vikingking > listen, if that friend you have in mind played a part in this there would have been one more person in the act

Axesandasses > speaking of people in whatever this act was since when was Ice out since because he never told one of us he was leaving before this whole thing happened

Love&rosesaesthetic > if those four start another war give me the honor of mounting Arthur's head on a pillar and burning it to the ground

Thespaqueen > nobody’s burning anybody unless we find out what’s going on. This isn’t gonna start any wars, these are personal issues.

Love&rosesaesthetic > do I really need to bring up all the personal issues that backfired? 

Thespaqueen > this isn’t the kind of thing to do that.

Love&rosesaesthetic > they threatened to kill us and Arthur wasn't joking that time

Thespaqueen > I cant believe I’m telling you this but you need to calm down and stop assuming things. Nothing is off the table.

3catholic5u > none of my brothers or my sister knew anything about it, it wasn't planned at all there. Also Arthur wasn't getting any unusual amount of nightmares so this was a sudden idea

Thespaqueen > There’s obviously something up, no doubt, but I think we need to look around a bit before we can actually guess anything happening. This is completely sudden on all ends here?

Love&rosesaesthetic > nothing from Austria or Prussia? 

Thespaqueen > I’m gonna ask, but I doubt I’m getting an answer from either of them. 

Thespaqueen > What leads do we have besides the names?

Love&rosesaesthetic > I vouch for insanity

Vikingking > Francis calm down Arthur hasn't gone insane. You don't need to worry. 

Thespaqueen > he hasn’t already?

Thespaqueen > ok sorry sorry

Love&rosesaesthetic > it's just that the morning when all of his happened he got up all of a sudden and ran out and I couldn't find him anywhere. It's probably magic related, but they need to get their act together. 

Thespaqueen > no shit sherlock.

Love&rosesaesthetic > well sorry but my first thought was murder and I'm not one to dwell on those thoughts when I don't need to, so I'm just suggesting it for myself

Axesandasses > I don’t think this would be magic related if Lukas even said that this wasnt in any magic book he looked through.

Vikingking > well Arthur always kept the original and that has some spells no one dared to write down somewhere else. With him gone I just can't get to it

Thespaqueen > If we’re looking further into this, we need to think of a time to meet up, this small group, and put together some clues.

Vikingking > I can get you there right now, wherever we're going. It would make everything a lot easier

Thespaqueen > But where would we even start?

Love&rosesaesthetic > my house is the quietest, so we'll go there, and I can show you what happened there as well. 

Vikingking > that place still creeps me out for some reason, but let's go.


	54. In Which - part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk

scone&eyebrowaesthetic >> added soavamp, iceicebb, and hungryandhungary to the conversation

 

Hungryandhungary > Wow, that was great. Incredible. The best.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well it could have been worse, but we really should have paid a bit more attention to them beforehand

Hungryandhungary > they completely distrust us now. How do we get information on them if they don’t want to give it to us? This was supposed to be an undercover thing.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well who's the supposed sensible one in their group out if the four of us? 

Hungryandhungary > this was supposed to be a team, not a reality show. If there was only one “sensible one”, I might as well have gone alone.

soavamp > well we're not going to get anything done if you keep arguing about it

Hungryandhungary > You were the absolute worst out of all of us Vas. You decide to go out and ruin our chances, I bet nothing would’ve happened if you didn’t decide to run your mouth.

soavamp > what do you want me to say, it has a mind of it's own? Yeah I fucked up but it'll be fine. Worst comes to worst we can force some information out of them. 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I've told you countless times to watch your mouth, you don't need to swear to make a point

Hungryandhungary > oh I’m so sorry we bothered you and we’re not being nice enough but we’re technically in the process of dimensional espionage so swearing is pretty tame.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > it's still not needed

Hungryandhungary > How are we gonna keep up what’s left of our reputation here withiN THE FIRST 15 MINUTES? 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well for starters we need to learn how to act, then we all need to apologize, and then we need to hope they haven't blocked us yet… Though probably not in that order

Hungryandhungary > why do I feel like we’re missing someone?

Hungryandhungary > OH YEAH. Egil stILL Trying to avoid the conversation.

Hungryandhungary > I know you’re online.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > really Egil? It's been five minutes you'd better answer

Iceicebb > ugh fine fine I’m here.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > you're the one that agreed to come, might as well help

Iceicebb > I get it, I’m here. I really don’t know what we did that’s too bad but they’re overreacting.

soavamp > we just broke someone and ended a relationship, isn't that normal here? 

Hungryandhungary > no. no it is not.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Vas did you really think that 1ps could handle that. They're 1ps for goodness sakes! They're overly emotional about everything! 

Hungryandhungary > this is a failed mission. 

soavamp > yeah, we noticed

Hungryandhungary > We’d go back, but I’m not even sure if they have the 1Ps captured yet. The only way to get them to talk would be forcibly, but we can’t let anyone notice that something’s amiss.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > as the saying goes, dead men tell no tales

Hungryandhungary > I have no idea what that means

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > honestly? Well, you idiot, if we get what we can, kill them, and play the cards we have left correctly, no one will notice a thing

Hungryandhungary > I’ll have you killed if you talk to me like that.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > not if I get to you first~

Hungryandhungary > Oh please. Listen, the real thing we need right now is a plan.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > mine is a few lines up, Vas will call for torture of some sort and make it as noticeable as possible, and Egil probably won't do anything but pretend he doesn't exist

soavamp > there's nothing wrong with my plan, and it wouldn't be noticeable at all. Besides we always have knives and hot irons

Hungryandhungary > Torture really doesn’t sound like our best bet now, since once we go to an extreme it’s nearly impossibly to go back to other methods.

soavamp > who said we’d need to go back to the other methods?

Hungryandhungary > It’s just too risky. Really. As for Oliver’s method, I don’t want any death to be involved. They’ll just come back, talk about it, and the last thing we need is people talking about what we’re doing.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > fine then

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well then, your majesty, if you insist on leading us then what’s your idea?

Hungryandhungary > I have an idea, don’t patronize me. I’m just calling for plans, I don’t need you trying to take this entire thing downhill. 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > sorry, its what I do best

Hungryandhungary > I don’t know why I asked you to come along then. The thing is, we do already have a few of them in our world. I’ll have to ask the others if they have them captured, but we can try to get something out of them.

soavamp > I doubt it, if the ones in this world are as as paranoid as the ones in ours they would have run to the middle of the ocean by now

Hungryandhungary > but we do have “Vlad”’s little brother and I’m sure he’s useful for something.

soavamp > I may be imagining things, but do I hear the oppurtunity of… torture?

Hungryandhungary > If it comes to that, but he’s weaker since he’s just a little kid. We’d have to do very little to get him to talk.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > but how do we get the message to Vlad that we’re going to or already are torturing his brother? Last I checked the little one can’t give a cry for help all that easily.

Hungryandhungary > That’s true, but we could always just slip another note to them or something.

soavamp > I could make a note just come out of the shadows for a bit more of a fear factor it that could help, and things jumping out of the darkness never really sit well with people

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > so… that’s why no one hangs around you

soavamp > Oliver just shut up

Hungryandhungary > You both need to shut up. This team was formed for a reason.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > a reason which escapes me for the moment because I don’t even know what we’re looking to get in particular

soavamp > what we’re up against. We need the strengths, the weaknesses, the right ways to get to them, the right ways to break them, and so on

Hungryandhungary > well they won’t talk to us and they suspect something is off, so interaction is off the list.

Iceicebb > check out this though: I looked up some of these usernames and it turns out they have accounts on other medias. Maybe we can look through those.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > yes, I’m sure triggered jokes and memes will be very helpful. I think that’s the only thing they talk about

Iceicebb > maybe we can create names on there and talk to them normally without them knowing it’s us?

soavamp > are you suggesting we get instagram accounts and learn how to act in the span of a day

Iceicebb > get off my back, it was just an idea.

soavamp > well honestly I wouldn’t mind the instagram account but I can’t act like I’m in love with that… thing

Iceicebb > You don’t have to be, we can go on saying it’s some kind of survey and at least one of them will give a solid answer.

soavamp > they’ll make it sarcastic, and we still don’t know whoever draconianbanshee is, which apparently is common knowledge 

Iceicebb > Look that up too and I’m sure we’ll get something. There has to be some sort of clue we can get online, they look like they have a lot of media accounts and they each have tons of posts up.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I’ve never heard of someone posting “My day was great and here’s what’ll actually drive me to the brink of insanity!”

Hungryandhungary > Well murder and torture aren’t any better.

soavamp > then what’s your idea, as if you have a better one?

Hungryandhungary > I can’t think of anything.

Iceicebb > exposed

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well I know a few things off the back of my head that can make them hallucinate, and Vas could always control what they see to some extent. If he can make it so we can see it somehow we have everything we need

soavamp > good idea except that takes around two days at most to even set up

Hungryandhungary > Plus people would notice if they were gone.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > not gone, in a trance

Hungryandhungary > Yeah, that too.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > it was worth a shot

Hungryandhungary > It’s actually a half decent idea, it would just take a while to set up. We’d have to slip something into their food.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > that shouldn’t be too difficult, and I doubt we’re in any rush

Hungryandhungary > Well we do have to get the information and go home as soon as possible, but I’m sure we can let them know somehow we’ll take about a week or two.

soavamp > don’t they use the expression ‘time is weird’ a lot? That works pretty well here

Hungryandhungary > That’s the only thing we have from their instagram accounts isn’t it

Iceicebb > I couldn’t even find that

soavamp > it was just on a spam account

Hungryandhungary > The media thing isn’t gonna work. We’re working with Oliver’s second idea.

soavamp > so for now we’ll see if we can get anything out of the skype chat? I’m not a miracle worker, the setup won’t go any faster just because we have a plan

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > as long as you don’t break anyone else

Hungryandhungary > I seriously mean it that was the worst thing you could’ve done and it already gave us less chances of getting home quicker.

soavamp > fine, but let’s at least get the names right this time. Bel is Liz, I’m apparently Vlad, Oliver is Arthur, and I’m fairly sure Egil is just Emil.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > ...what kind of a name is Arthur?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friend you're just as confused as I am
> 
> \- Trash


	55. In Which -part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well I don't know how to Prussia apparently

love&rosesaesthetic >> added thespaqueen, vikingking, axesandasses, and 3catholic5u to the conversation

 

love&rosesaesthetic > anyone have anything new?

Thespaqueen > We are literally in your house can’t we just talk

love&rosesaesthetic > we never get anything done when we just talk

Thespaqueen > that’s fair

Axesandasses > I’m messaging Leon and asking him if anything was off about Emil since they text all the time and I haven’t gotten an answer yet

3catholic5u > still nothing here

Thespaqueen > Well Liz was supposed to go hang out at Prussia’s so I should probably message him

Love&rosesaesthetic > at this point I doubt she's there 

Thespaqueen > That’s true but she was supposed to yesterday and maybe something was off with her? I’m gonna ask anyways

3catholic5u > alright then

vikingking > I haven't even been able to find out where the four of them even are and that's usually simple

Axesandasses > I thought he gave you enough of a reasoN TO DROP HIM ALREADY

Vikingking > he did but honestly I'm more worried about both francis’s and Arthur's sanity because that is not a very normal thing to say

Thespaqueen > Ok I got a message back stop screeching all of you

Thespaqueen > He said that she never showed up, but he did get a weird message with someone from the same username but swapped. When he answered it, the conversation was really off and he blocked the account. Sound familiar?

3catholic5u > well what did they ask?

 

Thespaqueen >> added the.awesome.me to the conversation

 

The.awesome.me > it was really weird for her, she just wanted to know the the boring stuff I already told her

Thespaqueen > wait what boring stuff please don’t tell me you told her anything mildly important

The.awesome.me > mainly the basics like my name, what country I represent, and things like that. 

Thespaqueen > And why wouldn’t she already know that? I mean why would you even answer something like that from someone with a different username and is kinda shady

The.awesome.me > I didn't even notice the user name until after and it seemed like a joke she would play

Thespaqueen > Well, not your fault then. You’re still an idiot.

Thespaqueen > I also refuse to message Roderich so ask him about the acc too ok?

The.awesome.me > already done and he isn't that annoying 

The.awesome.me > same story tho

Thespaqueen > don’t start on the “he isn’t that annoying” thing. The account is really really shady and is attached to a bunch of other things, it was harassing us like a few hours ago. Look really closely at the usernames next time

The.awesome.me > fine but aren’t there supposed to be more people here? 

Thespaqueen > read the above conversation

The.awesome.me > yeah sure

The.awesome.me > shit

Vikingking > exactly

The.awesome.me > so all of them are missing? And there's still no sign of them?  Yeah this chat has a bad rep but damn

Thespaqueen > wow other people talk about the chat? I’m impressed

Thespaqueen > but seriously, we haven’t seen any of them and they’re all the same people we got the shady texts from.

Axesandasses > I wouldn’t mind not seeing a few of the said people for a bit longer

Vikingking > hey I know Vlad’s a dick but we still need to get him for Moldova, though I could do with some time apart from Arthur

Vikingking > no offense Francis

love&rosesaesthetic > I’m with you on that one

Thespaqueen > girls girls you’re all pretty can we stop gossipping abouT OUR FRIENDS WHO LITERALLY JUST WENT MISSING

3catholic5u > can you stop standing in for Hungary its weirding me out. Please just be salty

Thespaqueen > I’m not standing in for Hungary thank you very much

3catholic5u > you really are

Thespaqueen > I am noT just take this sERIOUSLY

3catholic5u > fine, but I honestly had no idea my brother was this much of a dick. He’s worse than Alistair apparently.

Axesandasses > All of you guys are dicks it just goes without saying

love&rosesaesthetic > that’s completely true but this is a new low

love&rosesaesthetic > besides aren’t most nations dicks in one way or another?

Axesandasses > wow that’s rude I’m triggered

Thespaqueen > this started out normally what happened

The.awesome.me > I showed up

3catholic5u > fair enough

Thespaqueen > Honestly we came here to talk about clues as to why the others are being such jerks and I did not need this,

Thespaqueen > I feel so attacked rn

The.awesome.me > yeah that’s all I have so I’m just gonna

 

The.awesome.me >> has left the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > anyways,,,

Axesandasses > how much 5 hour energy did you down you’re being so aggressive

love&rosesaesthetic > I think we should leave that question at yes

Thespaqueen > Do not judge me,

Vikingking > does anyone have a plan or are we just sitting around aimlessly?

Vikingking > oh wait we haven’t even moved. This is not helping guys, not to mention that the quiet isn’t doing any favors to this place

Thespaqueen > Well the only leads we really have is their names, their usernames, and a couple of times where they contacted a few others.

love&rosesaesthetic > I sent a message to Alfred and Matthew and they haven’t heard from anyone, so that’s a dead end

Thespaqueen > just send out a group message to the work group chat asking about any shady accounts at this point its pretty desperate

love&rosesaesthetic > alright

love&rosesaesthetic > bulgaria said something happened but he can’t exactly explain any of it

 

love&rosesaesthetic >> added BULshit to the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > we have a problem read the chat ^^^

BULshit > Well the story was really very close to what was said before, but the person was asking more about himself than me. At that point I figured it was some kind of chainmail and asked who it was again and they just left the question to “don’t you know me?”

BULshit > at that point I was freaked out and blocked the account instead of messing with it more, but I also saw that other people had the same problem and contacted the chat so I answered that and here we are. I’m almost sure it’s some kind of magic thing since I got the messages the same day Vlad went missing and I got a note in my basement matching some of the weird lettering in one of Vlad’s spell books.

Vikingking > can you send a picture of it over?

BULshit > If I can find it. I put it to the side with some of my other random papers so I’ll start looking for it and send a picture if I can get to it. Anything else?

Thespaqueen > that’s honestly a pretty ok lead considering before we got “I got a message and everyone in this chat is a dick”

3catholic5u > i’m assuming there weren’t any names?

BULshit > nothing I could read from the text on it so I assumed it wasn’t for me and put it aside.

3catholic5u > well we can forget about that little tip about the names then

BULshit > found it! Here >> weirdletter.jpeg

Vikingking > well it’s something I’ve never seen, but at least one word there means something like swapping… or cheetos. Probably swapping.


	56. In Which -part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> why is he so passive aggressive

soavamp >> added scone&eyebrowaesthetic, iceicebb, and hungryandhungary to the conversation

 

soavamp > so that went well

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > did you do what we asked this time?

soavamp > yeah actually, happy?

Hungryandhungary > I wasn’t aware of any new plans. Oliver, did you make something up again?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > no, it’s just that vas doesn’t have the best record here

Hungryandhungary > Well, what did he “do what we asked this time?”

soavamp > I got the note sent and I included the spell like he asked, that’s all

soavamp > what, didn’t he tell you?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > its not like they’re going to use it, and besides they couldn’t if they wanted to

Hungryandhungary > Why would you rewrite the message if we’re already here? What use will it be to them at all?

soavamp > it seemed like a decent idea at the time

Hungryandhungary > This is exactly why you ask me before doing anything first. You’re lucky they haven’t figured out what it means yet.

soavamp > its completely foreign to them, its one of the spells I made. They’ve never seen anything like it.

Hungryandhungary > That’s extremely counterproductive, how did that ever sound like a good idea in your head?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I’m not sure but it seemed fun

Hungryandhungary > And here I am wondering why I didn’t bother to just leave without you guys.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well Arthur would have figured something out by now, Liz would have threatened us a bit more, and we can’t have their magic trio in one piece.

soavamp > and the only reason Loki isn’t here is because his attendance would be spotty with me around

Hungryandhungary > speaking of Loki, or Nor in general.. I found a few things in between the memes on their account.

Hungryandhungary > They are indeed together, and we lost a great asset through whatever you just tried to pull yesterday.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > can’t we just blame it on a creature? I saw a post about that somewhere

Hungryandhungary > yes because a toxin from a creature which impairs your vision has to do with being a shitty person to your boyfriend.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well I tried looking it up but apparently the people here have an obsession with personality quizzes

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I asked for personality _ altering _ , not personality  _ quizzes _ goddamnit

Hungryandhungary > well when your world isn’t actually in the middle of a huge nuclear war you have a lot of time on your hands. Oh wait.

Hungryandhungary > And whatever happened to not swearing?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > sorry but just I’m not getting anything in this world and /this/ really takes the cake for ‘most annoying thing on the 1P earth’

Hungryandhungary > Good to know you’re more worried about swearing than how we partially ruined our chances of doing anything. I thought the plan we were going for was the trance thing?

soavamp > well that’s going to take another day and someone still needs to poison them

soavamp > and by someone I mean you Oliver what’s taking so long

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > poisons don’t last forever, you know. you need to finish whatever you’re up to first

Hungryandhungary > As much as I hate to say this, I don’t think anything anyone else here is doing will work. ie giving away secrets and pretending they don’t exist,,

soavamp > Egil get out of the shadows of the chat that’s my job

Iceicebb > Jeez sorry mr. “I lurk in the shadows”,

Iceicebb > “I am the darkness I am the night” Vas

soavamp > first of all don’t compare me to Batman

soavamp > second he’s really no fun and he doesn’t even have powers why is he so popular

Iceicebb > Sorry to annoy you there but not really. Look I just don’t know why you even dragged me out here if you knew I wasn’t gonna help at all

Hungryandhungary > YOU LITERALLY BEGGED TO COME ALONG I WAS GONNA BRING ALONG SOMEONE ELSE BUT NOOO.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > honestly if you even want to be in these chats so you’re not completely clueless when the action starts I suggest you start helping

Iceicebb > I don’t want to be involved at all this is absolutely pointless. Why do we need dirt on them anyways?

Hungryandhungary > ..As we were saying, Oliver’s idea should be the one we all work on. Splitting up would be difficult since there would be only 3 of us + a handicap, so  what would we need to do?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > as much as it pains me to say it, we need to fix up what we said earlier at least a little

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > and that means doing what we do worst-- feeling sorry for someone else’s demise

Hungryandhungary > I wouldn’t say demise but we would need to play the part of a 1P right if that’s what you mean.

soavamp > I think i’m starting to get the hang of mine, just how is he so… well, nice all the time. Besides talking to their den apparently. 

Hungryandhungary > it’s clear that some of us don’t look the part either, but either way I don’t think we would have to speak to them in person.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well should we try it now then?

Hungryandhungary > ..no. Bad idea. Look, what do we need for the poison? Whatever it is, can’t Vas black magic something up?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I’ll say it outright I don’t trust him with poisons.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > also there’s a certain dose for each person based on their size and Vas doesn’t know that

Hungryandhungary > Oh yes, let’s go measure them in their sleep. That makes sense.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > third I’d like to take care of this myself thank you very much and I know it by eye at this point

Hungryandhungary > should I be worried about how well you know this?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > does it sound like you should be worried?

Hungryandhungary > I mean probably

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I do things like this all the time, its nothing new. Besides, belladonna really isn’t that hard to come by and the doses are fairly small. It won’t take very much time.

Hungryandhungary > So what do we do while we wait? The longer we’re here, the longer time the others have to figure out that’s something just isn’t right.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well if you three can keep them occupied for a few minutes once I get there we’ll be fine.

Hungryandhungary > didn’t you say that this was going to take a few days and not “a few minutes”?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > did I really not make this simple enough for you to understand? Vas’s part takes another day or so, but I can get in and out in under 10 minutes. Do I need to explain it again or do you have it this time?

Hungryandhungary > Don’t speak to me like that again, do you understand? You clearly weren’t good enough for the G8’s mission, so you were dropped down to my team and I am not going to deal with failures. We are so close to getting them, and I want to look at this group and be able to say that we were important to this job and important to this mission.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Sorry love, won’t happen again.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Do you prefer sarcasm or passive-aggression?

Hungryandhungary > I’d honestly prefer you didn’t even become part of this group.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well, last I checked, it’s a bit too late for that hopeless daydream

Hungryandhungary > It’s honestly a shame I can’t just tell everyone back home that this was a failure because if I have to deal with this for another day I’m going to lose my mind

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I thought you already lost it, my mistake

Hungryandhungary > just go get done what needs to be done and then we’ll talk about how to give them the poison. I’m going to go try to salvage our reputation somehow. I managed to get into the work chat with yet another account, so we’ll see how that goes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vas > I may or may not have written cheetos at the end :\  
> I actually considered this as a line  
> -Mun Metta


	57. In Which -part 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he ain't slick

Notavamp >> added vikingking, love&rosesaesthetic, axesandasses, 3catholic5u, draconianbanshee, thespaqueen, and thefabulouspolska to the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > If this isn’t some autistic-ass fake acc I just have a few questions

Notavamp > honestly I might not have every answer. I’m still figuring everything out myself

Thespaqueen > yes hello do you know your name?? Hello yes are you still dracula

Notavamp > Vladimir and of course not

Vikingking > spill

Notavamp > as far as I know my account was hacked but I’m still clueless about the other three.

Thespaqueen > Quick what are the names of the other three I’m gonna report this acc for the millionth time even though we all know it’s not doing anything,

Notavamp > Arthur, Elizaveta and Emil

Notavamp > anything else?

3catholic5u > where are the other three then?

Notavamp > they still had the old names so I figured their accounts were still messed up

Thespaqueen > yeah but where are you guys even??

Notavamp > we sent you a text that we were going out for a while but I guess it was blocked by someone

Thespaqueen > tbh you’re still blocked if this groupchat didn’t exist you still wouldn’t be getting through.

Axesandasses > You still have a lot left to explain, we should send you the logs from the chat since it was with the fake accounts. Read through these for a minute: plsexplain.jpg

Thespaqueen > “pl sex plain” is all I read

Notavamp > before I read all of that how bad was it?

love&rosesaesthetic > ...lets leave it at yes

Notavamp > ...holy shit

Thespaqueen > it’s a holy shit / 10

Notavamp > well yeah it is but that’s what they did? 

Notavamp > I thought it would be prank calls or something!

Thespaqueen > a few of them somehow got into the work chat as well, so there’s also that. At this point, we told everyone to just check out the usernames before saying anything to the acc.

Notavamp > but where did they even get the names from? Loki makes a bit of sense but Vasile? Seriously?

Axesandasses > It’s still pretty weird that even though the accounts all looked like they were being tampered with at the same time by the same person, you managed to get yours back. Any smart hacker would change the password or something.

Notavamp > i’m not sure about that one either, but I can check again if the usernames are right for the others if it helps

Thespaqueen > I have them on my blocklist, from what I can tell they aren’t yet.

Vikingking > are you sure nothing’s still going on?

Notavamp > yeah, why?

Vikingking > alright… what’s your last name?

Notavamp > Lupei

Vikingking > your brother’s full name?

Notavamp > Andrei Lupei

Vikingking > the name he gave us as a joke?

Notavamp > Quincey Lupei I think

Thespaqueen > ok, so it seems like you’re the right person. Where did you say you and some of the others were staying at?

Notavamp > we were just in London for a day going over a few things

Thespaqueen > what place though? If it was Arthur’s, I’m sure you would’ve has access to his landline to tell us where you were.

Notavamp > we were just in the All Star Lanes Diner for the day, nothing big

Thespaqueen > and you stayed there a whole night? How much longer are you planning to stay there?

Notavamp > well we left early and we spent the night just walking around really

Thespaqueen > ok and how many more nights do you plan to walk around aimlessly?

Notavamp > we agreed to just grab a hotel room or two and take a few days there

Thespaqueen > and from there we can call and confirm that it’s really you?

Notavamp > I didn’t know the number for the phone in my room, but whenever I find out i’ll give you a call

Thespaqueen > sure thing. By the way, you realize that you got one of the questions we asked you before wrong?

love&rosesaesthetic > and why would you need to stay at a hotel when you can go to one of your houses?

Thespaqueen > and why would it be difficult to find the number for the phone in your room? If you confirm that you really have one, can’t you quickly pick up one of those nifty cards they have on the front of it with phone information?

Notavamp > pranked you guys…?

 

Notavamp >> has left the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > there’s definitely something going on and at this point I doubt that it’s just a prank.

Vikingking > yeah, and he’s never that uptight about, well, anything… does this mean we’re back to square one or did we get anything else?

Thespaqueen > We do still have the coded message from before. Other than that, I don’t really think we got much out of this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk  
> \- Mun Metta


	58. In Which -part 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> don't ask I don't know

scone&eyebrowaesthetic >> added iceicebb, soavamp, and hungryandhungary to the conversation

 

Hungryandhungary > any updates on the poison or whatever else had to do with your plan?

soavamp > well nothing good except that the magic part of it all is almost done

soavamp > as for the talk with the 1Ps… they’re slightly more competent than I thought they would be

Hungryandhungary > Why do I feel like you’re dodging something about the chat

soavamp > thedecentlysmart1ps.jpg

Hungryandhungary > wow there’s that

Hungryandhungary > They did figure that out quickly, I’ll give them that much.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > on a happier note I have enough belladonna for all of them

Hungryandhungary > so if the magic part is almost done and Oliver’s part is done, we should be able to start working on finding their stats by tomorrow.

soavamp > their stats? You make it sound like we’re in a trading card game here

Hungryandhungary > Should I write “what will make them want to internally die and break their minds” every time instead

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > you can always shorten it to ‘what breaks them,’ the first part is implied

soavamp > well he’s never going to use that, you had to say it! Now we need to deal with ‘stats’ for all eternity

Hungryandhungary > Oh yes because one word is such a terrible inconvenience to all of you.

Iceicebb > That logic is going to get you killed here

Hungryandhungary > I’m so terrified,,

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > so, since Vas is out of the question, who’s going to distract them all? If worst comes to worst Bel could always threaten them to get their attention

Hungryandhungary > I’m going to try to hold character unlike someone. If anyone should be the one to scare them it’d be you.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I’m flattered but i’ll be busy at the time trying to poison them

Hungryandhungary > well I bet they’re looking for reasons for the strange occurences online so maybe a few fake leads to get them off track could work.

soavamp > hey, I could always handle the poison from here

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > funny joke

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > so basically I’d think of something so insane it’s believable? That shouldn’t be too difficult for me

Hungryandhungary > Insane? Right in your department.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I’m glad you noticed, but Egil could always just take care of the poison instead of me. He doesn’t really have a use for knowing any of that and he might as well do /something/

Iceicebb > rude, I’m sure I serve some sort of purpose on this thing

Hungryandhungary > nope

soavamp > lets be honest, if one of us had to be given up as a sacrifice or something you’d be chosen

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I’m sure you can drop a bit of juice into their drinks and food, can’t you?

Iceicebb > I guess so but how do I go in without being noticed?

soavamp > carefully…? Honestly just figure it out yourself

Iceicebb > well if they’re all already friends, it shouldn’t be too hard to get them in the same spot together.

soavamp > oh look you already have half the problem solved

Iceicebb > I don’t need you to tell me that I know how to solve a problem thanks

soavamp > you never seem to though

Iceicebb > what do you have against me anyways

soavamp > you’re just easy to make fun of sometimes-- most of the time actually

Iceicebb > so same reason you hate my brother?

Hungryandhungary > can we not have a cat fight now we get it you hate each other

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > really? I couldn’t tell

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > fine I’m done but do I need to go over the basics with you or do you have a slight understanding of how much poison to put in for everyone

Iceicebb > sure

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > ...just put 15 drops in each. That will work for 7 of the berries

Iceicebb > Good to know.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > unless you want to kill them of course, but that’s a lesson for another time

Iceicebb > I don’t get it. Why would we need to know how to break them in the first place if we can just kill them now?

soavamp > why kill them just so they can come back stronger when we can have all of them under our thumb forever?

Iceicebb > good point

Hungryandhungary > so it’s decided. It would’ve been more helpful if Vas was able to find out when would be the best time, but I think you can find out through the work chat if you just check.

soavamp > hey I work with magic not miracles alright

soavamp > so when are we doing this then?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > do I really need to explain everything?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > the poison will take anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour to take effect, so you’ll need at act right before they leave for their world conference so that only the ones with the weakest physical forms feel the effects of the belladonna during the meeting. Everyone else will feel it after or while they’re leaving to their own countries. We need to do it while they’re together the morning of.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > was that really so difficult to figure out?

soavamp > ...thanks then

Iceicebb > got it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I had to explain how the poison worked to Mun Trash and then to the rest of the characters and just,, I looked way too much into that


	59. In Which - Part 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi yes trash is back how nice kms

Draconianbanshee >> added 3catholic5u, thespaqueen, vikingking, love&rosesaesthetic, and axesandasses to the conversation

 

Draconianbanshee > guys I’ve only heard bits and pieces about what’s going on what exactly happened

Draconianbanshee > and yes I know you’ve probably explained this countless times

love&rosesaesthetic > well it’s a weird story

Draconianbanshee > I’ve been known to believe the unbelievable since I met you, so… there’s that

Vikingking > this is easier- allthemessedupchats.jpg

Thespaqueen > I’m still impressed you managed to compress all of those together so fast

Thespaqueen > plot convenience

Vikingking > magic

Thespaqueen > did you jUSt

Vikingking > yep

Draconianbanshee > so you think that wasn’t them, then? Would make sense… sort of. As much sense as something here could make at least

Thespaqueen > yep pretty sure. 

Draconianbanshee > well then

Draconianbanshee > do you have some more leads?

3catholic5u > nothing that wasn’t in those chats

Thespaqueen > We never saw them, so we can’t really figure anything else out. Plus, one of the leads is just into a dead end since we can’t figure out anything it says

Vikingking > I’ve only gotten a few more words out of that spell and most of them are just repeats written in a slightly different way. I did get mirror, though

Vikingking > to be completely honest this is one of the most complex spells I’ve ever read. Whoever wrote this is either a genius or had a lot of time on their hands

Thespaqueen > Anyone who’d do this in the first place is probably the latter.

Draconianbanshee > uh guys? I’m getting messages from whoever’s posing as Arthur asking to join the chat

Draconianbanshee > can I add him to see if we get anything or…?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is fucking edgy but I was listening to Make Happy what do you expect


	60. In Which -part 8.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I never thought we'd bring a .5 into this but here you go

Draconianbanshee >> added 3catholic5u, thespaqueen, vikingking, love&rosesaesthetic, axesandasses, and scone&eyebrowaesthetic to the conversation

 

Draconianbanshee > just a question, what’s my name?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Well, Myrna of course.

Thespaqueen > wow 10/10 now where’s our friend at

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Well I’m in Salisbury at the moment

Thespaqueen > Ok funny joke but where’s Arthur and where’s Ice also where’s Vlad and most importantly where is my girlfriend I’m kinda worried at this point??

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Aren’t they at home? 

Thespaqueen > ..Frien I’m trying to be nice here

Thespaqueen > seriously

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I know it’s serious but why do you ask? Last I heard they were at home, isn’t that right?

Thespaqueen > kYS

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > ...I’ll pass

Axesandasses > Ok look,, you heard a lot more than what you’re talking about but let’s start nice ok?? Where’s Lukas 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > wish I could tell you, but he’s probably been taken care of by now

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I know you all have your allies, but let’s not forget about mine

Axesandasses > I couldn’t give any shits about any of your allies thank you very much

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well when the weakest person you know can burn someone alive with ease it’s best to watch your back

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > then again, doesn’t that go without saying?

3catholic5u > listen, I’ll give you one chance for you to tell me where my brother-- the real Arthur-- is

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > ...terrifying

Draconianbanshee > think of it this way: you can either go against all of us at once or give everyone back

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > could someone shut that human up? I don’t even know why she’s even here at this point, it’s not like she could do anything substantial for very long

Draconianbanshee > well I mean I could always 

Draconianbanshee > fuck

Draconianbanshee >> has left the conversation

3catholic5u > Lukas, can you find someone quickly? I think someone needs to die.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > not the best idea if you want to see any of them again

Thespaqueen > It’s a really dick move to be mean to a human though like what does it prove

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > she was easier to push over than all of you so I figured if I could get one of you to run the rest might follow. You don’t seem to be much stronger than her, so does it even matter?

Thespaqueen > Wow who hurt you

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > the list is a bit long

Thespaqueen > chill edgelord I’m being sarcastic

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > ...so that isn’t a normal statement here

love&rosesaesthetic > last I checked not at all

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > now it’s all falling into place as to why you have zero tolerance for pain

Thespaqueen > And how would you know that?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well to put it into words from one of your made-up villains, 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I’ve got friends on the other side

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > ...wow that was cringy even for me

Thespaqueen > least you admitted it though

love&rosesaesthetic > what are we even supposed to call you though?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I may not be from here but I’m not an idiot. I’m sure you can figure it out at some point or it’ll just slip

Thespaqueen > I’m gonna go out on a limb here I just kinda thought,, is your name “Dickhead McSkypeTroll”

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > its not the insult that’s insulting it’s how bad that one line was

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I actually thought you were alright at this stuff, too! Wow I was really far off

Thespaqueen > Honestly I’m just kinda mad so here are your subpar meme insults

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > that brings me to a quick question-- why are you so obsessed with memes there’s no point to them

Thespaqueen > Myrna this man walks-- shit she’s not here

Thespaqueen > Ok well WhoeverI’mAdressing,, this man walked into this chat and insults me,, he slanders my memes,, he’s involved with the disappearance of my friend,, why are you even here

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > How do I put this lightly… oh why bother, it’ll be over before the week ends

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > we’re here to collapse your world into war

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > then we were thinking of either selling it to someone or taking it over and from your ashes start anew

Thespaqueen > gazuntite

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > wow this is boring. If I actually tell you my name can you make it interesting?

Vikingking > ...sure

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > am I acting strange? Sorry, it’s the insanity

Thespaqueen > wow that’s #edgy careful not to cut someone with that

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well that idea’s no fun, but my name’s Oliver.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > did I help your pointless investigations? 

Thespaqueen > rude. At this point we don’t even care who you are we’re just worried about our friends

love&rosesaesthetic > and on that note where the fuck is Arthur and what are you planning to do to him

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I thought you got the message by now

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Don’t. Swear.

Thespaqueen > Why the frick frack diddly dack paddy wack snick snack cracker jack not

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > wait what

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > did you come up with that out of the blue and if so that’s my job

Thespaqueen > no friendo it’s a meemee

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > so that’s why I’ve never heard of it

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Anyways, I think I’ve stalled you long enough

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I really hope we can meet again on my terms, bye!

Thespaqueen > eugh beg to differ tho

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic >> has left the conversation

 

3catholic5u > well on that cheerful note don’t we need to leave right about now? The meeting starts in 10 minutes and we’re still here

Thespaqueen > Honestly we’re just waiting on teleporty friend I have everything packed. I hope we have time to talk about what’s going on in here tho

3catholic5u > yeah and now I need to explain this chat to Myrna because of that human insult

Vikingking > is no one going to comment on the stalling line

Thespaqueen > I don’t know what we can get from it. All I got from this chat is don’t curse so

love&rosesaesthetic > not to mention that’s the cheeriest person I’ve ever talked to besides Italy

Thespaqueen > he’s also rlly edgy tho

Vikingking > I think that’s just insanity

Thespaqueen > edgelorD

Vikingking > no, that’s definitely insanity

Thespaqueen > yeah but he’s a cringey edgelord he’s like one of those minecraft 9 year olds who uses bandicam and talk way too close into a mic

love&rosesaesthetic > add that and he’s a cringey kid who throws people off of cliffs. Isn’t that… nice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made him call her a human. that's the one line I've been wanting to cross this whole time  
> -Mun Metta


	61. In Which - part idk at this point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk at this point

Draconianbanshee >> added nessieisreal to the conversation

 

Draconianbanshee > alright I know we don’t exactly talk as much as we should but I have a serious question

Draconianbanshee > is it normal for some of you guys to start freaking out out of nowhere to an extreme extent?

Nessieisreal > Depends

Nessieisreal > Not really but depends

Draconianbanshee > well Czech started screaming, Seamus is horrified, Francis is breaking down, Norway looks like he’s suffocating, Feliks is practically frozen, and Den looks like he’s about to kill someone

Draconianbanshee > so what would something like that depend on?

Nessieisreal > That

Nessieisreal > That is either caused by seeing something extremely traumatic (all at once)

Nessieisreal > or drinking too much during a meeting

Draconianbanshee > well none of them were drinking and it seemed calm enough

Nessieisreal > I didn’t see you in the meeting how would you know what they do 

Nessieisreal > They do nothing but sit by the watercooler the entire thing and exchange 9gag memes

Draconianbanshee > well to be fair I was right outside and I would have heard someone (aka that one German I still don’t know his name as of now) yelling for someone else to stop

Nessieisreal > fair

Nessieisreal > We just call him Doi. Tsu

Draconianbanshee > I take it that’s his nickname? 

Nessieisreal > She saw through the lies and the memes

Draconianbanshee > anyways,,

Draconianbanshee > how am I supposed to fix this

Nessieisreal > I don’t know I just wait it out do you have any earbuds on you

Draconianbanshee > I left them at my house and I’m starting to regret it

Draconianbanshee > but in all honesty it’s terrifying

Nessieisreal > Well they were acting weird near the end of the meeting but I didn’t say anything

Nessieisreal > Maybe I should’ve why are you asking me

Draconianbanshee > because you’ve known them much longer than I have and you have more experience in this area?

Draconianbanshee > also you were the first one on my contacts when I scrolled 

Nessieisreal > Fair enough

Nessieisreal > I don’t know what to do ok

Draconianbanshee > any tips at least?

Nessieisreal > pray

Draconianbanshee > already took the liberty of doing that step

Draconianbanshee > anything else?

Nessieisreal > Pray some more I don’t know what to tell you

Draconianbanshee > but in all honesty I don’t want to become a murder victim and by Den’s look that might happen soon

Nessieisreal > Oh he’s there too ok just pray really really hard

Nessieisreal > No actually just ditch him somewhere

Draconianbanshee > hey if it helps

Draconianbanshee > well that’s done

Draconianbanshee > ...I think Francis and Seamus are crying a bit

Nessieisreal > Oh please they’ll be fine

Draconianbanshee > well I know that but they’re both muttering things and Lukas is still spazzing out, not to mention that the others are just as peachy as everyone else

Nessieisreal > Everyone near you or every one of the nations that were walking out of the meeting

Draconianbanshee > just the ones I mentioned before

Nessieisreal > Ok good I don’t want any of that

Nessieisreal > I’m not the person to talk to about real issues

Draconianbanshee > well the sensible people I know well are MIA as of now, so I’m trying

Draconianbanshee > on that note, who should I be asking?

Nessieisreal > anyone but me

 

Nessieisreal >> has left the conversation

 

Draconianbanshee >> added weebpyromania to the conversation

 

Draconianbanshee > ...just read the chat and please help

Weebpyromania > Wait why

Weebpyromania > just read the chat, same question

Draconianbanshee > everyone around me is either screaming, spazzing out, or breaking down and I have no idea what to do because none of them are even responding at this point

Weebpyromania > are they saying anything in particular

Draconianbanshee > well Francis and Seamus are saying things like ‘they’re gone’ but Francis also says things like ‘I don’t understand...’ and ‘why did they need to leave me here?’ Seamus keeps saying ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘It’s my fault’ 

Weebpyromania > Wow dark ok

Weebpyromania > Well I know Francis has an extreme fear of isolation so if everyone else is acting in a similar way something got them all at the same time to get triggered.

Weebpyromania > Basically they all think they’re living out their worst nightmares 

Draconianbanshee > so Lukas I guess it drowning, Feliks and Czech are being tortured in some way by what they’re acting like, Francis can’t see anyone, and Seamus…?

Weebpyromania > Yeah you’re spot on but I’m still not sure about Seamus

Draconianbanshee > he told me he didn’t really have a phobia, so do you have any guesses? Something in his history, maybe?

Draconianbanshee > wow being immortal must be terrifying sometimes

Weebpyromania > You haven’t figured that out yet?

Weebpyromania > All I know about any of this is you have to figure out some way to let them know whatever’s happening isn’t real?

Weebpyromania > how long has this been going on episodes are never that long

Draconianbanshee > it’s been 20 minutes but it’s getting worse by the second

Weebpyromania > 20 minutes? And it’s getting worse? Ok this never happened before in my lifetime I don’t know how you can control something this bad

Draconianbanshee > well whenever I get close to Czech it’s like she thinks I’m about to cut her arm off or something, as with Feliks, Lukas is cutting me out completely, Francis thinks I’m a voice in his head, and Seamus switches from warning me to thinking I’m a ghost of someone he failed

Draconianbanshee > are you completely sure this has never happened?

Weebpyromania > I don’t remember anything this bad, no.

Weebpyromania > NO IM DEFINITELY LYING AND AM NOT WORRIED AT ALL. Yeah I’m p sure this has never happened.

Draconianbanshee > ...thanks

Draconianbanshee > but honestly any tips besides pray because that didn’t help much

Weebpyromania > tips? I have nothing honestly

Draconianbanshee > wait Czech stopped

Draconianbanshee > ...nvm it got worse

Draconianbanshee > lukas has stopped breathing this point but I can’t even get close to him without being encased in ice

Weebpyromania > WHERE ARE YOU

Draconianbanshee > I had to pull over in the middle of nowhere and now they’re just in a random field 

Weebpyromania > IS THERE ANYONE AROUND

Draconianbanshee > besides us, no

Draconianbanshee > lukas passed out so he’s breathing again and the spread of ice has slowed dramatically so I can get to him now

Weebpyromania > Do you think that you have this under control

Draconianbanshee > do I sound like I have this under control

Draconianbanshee > I had to abandon Den in fear of getting killed,

Draconianbanshee > I have no idea how to help anyone,

Draconianbanshee > I might have pneumonia by the end of this,

Draconianbanshee > yeah everything’s g r e a t

Weebpyromania > Do you have directions to where you are 

Draconianbanshee > I can send you my location just bring anyone who knows anything about how to fix them

Weebpyromania > I don’t know anyone who I know can handle this bc you don’t just go up to people and ask “Hey can you do me a favor and cure PTSD yeah thank”

Draconianbanshee > fair point

Draconianbanshee > also I have a slight update on Seamus

Draconianbanshee > he’s muttering things about hunger now, he might be seeing the Great Famine

Draconianbanshee > also I think Lukas might be starting to come back

Draconianbanshee > ...nvm that was a gasp for air and the ice is here again

Weebpyromania > Wish I could say the same

Draconianbanshee > maybe not, I’m pretty sure Ice would be the same way

Weebpyromania > true

Draconianbanshee > well I can’t think of any sad attempts at a joke or any puns so I’m just gonna sit here and wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this with Metta while watching the book of mormon ytp


	62. In Which - (I lost count of parts)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lol I'm tired

soavamp >> added scone&eyebrowaesthetic, iceicebb, and hungryandhungary to the conversation

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > did everything go right this time?

soavamp > perfectly

Iceicebb > I managed to sneak by and give them the poison just in time

soavamp > the doses did seem a bit off bit it all worked, I have what we need

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > the doses were off? I haven’t given too much or too little since I killed someone I tried to get information out of centuries ago

Iceicebb > I managed to see Czech afterwards and I don’t think she’s getting over this any time soon she sounded like someone was hacking her open

soavamp > speaking of someone hacking her open,,

soavamp > that’s exactly what she saw, so she doesn’t deal with knives very well

soavamp > Norway has a fear of drowning, France can’t stand being alone, Ireland gets broken when remembering a famine, Denmark can’t keep control of himself when he gets war flashbacks, and Poland doesn’t have much of a soft spot for Nazis and other German-related war terms 

Hungryandhungary > why did we only need to take the reading of those few? It would have gone much quicker if we were able to poison everyone in the room

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > think of it this way: although we only know a handful of weaknesses, seeing as the nations here are close to each other, threatening to hurt any of them would bring most of them down

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > besides, why have more people-- and, by extension, more minds-- affected so they can figure everything out faster when there’s a way around it? It’s better to leave them in the dark about the effects incase one of them happens to know a thing or two about poisons

Hungryandhungary > it would be just our luck for something like that to happen

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well, incase you haven’t noticed, our luck isn’t the greatest for some reason

Hungryandhungary > I was simply making a comment I didn't ask for a remark

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well it would have been out of the ordinary if I didn’t make one

soavamp > Anyone else slowly starting to want to shoot these two in the head? Arguing isn’t helping at all

Iceicebb > true though at this point the arguing is the only thing keeping me entertained 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Its just so easy, though!

soavamp > ...your insanity’s showing

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > You noticed? I’m flattered, I had no idea you played so much attention to me

Hungryandhungary > it's the only attention you're getting, unfortunately.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well yours isn’t very much better, now is it?

soavamp > does having a world to take over ring any bells? This really isn’t the time

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > ...fine

Hungryandhungary > ugh ok

Hungryandhungary > what do we have left to do? We need contact with the other 2Ps, and that means we need to get Vas and Vlad to say the spell and switch back again. The problem is, we would need to switch back and no one would be able to monitor the 1Ps.

soavamp > when you scare someone enough they feel like you’re always watching them, so we can control them even if we’re not here

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > ...well you seem to know a lot about fear

soavamp > it’s what I do best

Hungryandhungary > maybe we should have only one person switch out to get orders?

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > and who would you suggest switches out?

soavamp > my 1P is already in a bad light, so I’ll go. They won’t believe a word he says until it’s too late

Hungryandhungary > he won’t say a word if we can actually keep him captured correctly. 

soavamp > aren’t you the one who likes plans here? It’s the best one we have as of now, not to mention they’ll think it’s me again

Hungryandhungary > ..fine, go home and get orders. Don't spend more time than necessary. dONT FUCK THIS UP.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > mark my words, Vas, if you mess up this time I’ll personally decapitate you.

soavamp > ...consider them marked


	63. In Which - part ??????  Rip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mun Trash is listening to WTNV again help her

Notavamp >> added vikingking to the conversation

 

Notavamp > look I know I don’t have much time but I need your help

Vikingking > ...I’m listening

Notavamp > I know where the others are and it’s a really long story but you need to believe me

 

Vikingking >> added axesandasses to the conversation

 

Axesandasses > oh we’re listening.

Notavamp > Arthur, Liz, and Ice are being held captive with our opposites-- that’s the best way I can put it-- and they’re trying to get to us

Notavamp > its a really complicated story but that’s as simple as it gets

Axesandasses > wow that's so believable with the last two absolutely real messages you sent.

Notavamp > ...what exactly has he been telling you all this time?

Vikingking > cut the act, Vas. you’ve done enough

Notavamp > Vas? After all we’ve been through you don’t know it’s me?

Axesandasses > that's believable,

Notavamp > I know you both hate me as of now, especially you, den, but I really need help

Notavamp > they have my brother and I can’t do anything about it!

Vikingking > and your brother is…?

Notavamp > Lukas this isn’t the time I need to get Moldova back

Vikingking > are you sure I’m not Loki?

Notavamp > wait who’s Loki

Axesandasses > nice one

Vikingking > vas, you’re wasting our time here. Just tell us what you want and be done with it, you’ve done enough already

Notavamp > what did he do

Notavamp > I know you don’t believe me but what the hell did he do

Axesandasses > you really don't know?

Notavamp > what else do you want me to prove? I can tell you anything if it helps!

Axesandasses > ..Lukas even if it's hard to believe him let's hear what he has to say first.

Vikingking > ...amuse me

Notavamp > well give me a question

Vikingking > when Ice wanted to reveal a story about us singing terribly, what was the story about?

Notavamp > We were singing/screeching frozen lyrics really early in the morning on repeat and I’m fairly sure everyone wanted to kill us just to shut us up because we were just that bad

Axesandasses > it's hard not to believe him at this point. I told you Lukas, let's listen to what he has to say.

Notavamp > ...you’re actually siding with me for once

Notavamp > anyways, our opposites threatened to torture Moldova if I didn’t use a simple spell in front of a mirror. I couldn’t get very much out of it but when I finished it sucked me in… literally. I’m guessing it did the same to everyone else. When I got there I hid out until everyone else came then we ran. Everyone found us eventually and the others are still being held captive. I can’t do anything against them until they give up my brother, but no one knows I’m even here… I’m still trapped, too.

Axesandasses > if you know where you are we can go get you, maybe we can figure everything else out from there.

Notavamp > if I’m not there to read the spell again they’ll hurt everyone else. I had to get the information out, but I don’t have much time left.

Vikingking > ...at least you came up with a better story this time

 

Vikingking >> has left the conversation

 

Axesandasses > can't believe I'm on your side about something this is really weird

Notavamp > it really is

Notavamp > after this is all over can we keep arguing please this seems wrong

Axesandasses > sure thing dickhead

Axesandasses > in the meantime, do you know anything about how everyone else is?

Notavamp > Ice hasn’t really been hurt, besides mentally. We’ve been around murderers, assassins, and everything inbetween. They haven’t really been hurting us much although Arthur, Liz, and I get a few more bruises than usual every once in awhile.

Notavamp > ...I haven’t even been able to see Andrei, but they make sure I can hear him. Its terrifying

Axesandasses > ..why would they be hurting you more than others? I'd honestly not be surprised at any answer but what did you do

Notavamp > Ice and Arthur’s family don’t need protecting anymore, and Liz is the strongest mentally out of all of us. They’re targeting me because I’m the weak link in this situation.

Notavamp > I need to go, my time is up

 

Notavamp >> has left the conversation


	64. In Which - I counted and it's part 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4th wall? What 4th wall

Axesandasses >> added thespaqueen, vikingking, 3catholic5u, draconianbanshee, and love&rosesaesthetic to the conversation

 

Axesandasses > you won't believe the conversation I just had

Thespaqueen > so no “you feeling any better? Are you ok??” Wow thanks

Vikingking > It’s important and I’m actually starting to believe it

Axesandasses > glad I didn't leave then. Here's the chat: updatefromvlad.png

love&rosesaesthetic > does that mean Arthur is alright? Its shady, but do you really think…?

Draconianbanshee > well it does sound like him

Thespaqueen > It's good to hear that Liz is probably doing ok.

3catholic5u > so… that’s him? Sorry for playing devil’s advocate here, but I’m still taking that with a grain of salt

3catholic5u > it just makes no sense that they’d let him keep his phone and not watch him at all

Axesandasses > maybe he managed to sneak off for a minute? I really do think it's him.

3catholic5u > that would make sense, and that’s the only refute I have

love&rosesaesthetic > but everyone’s ok then?

Vikingking > they’re fine, they’re just being held captive against their will

Draconianbanshee > ...that’s one way to look at it  
]  
Axesandasses > obviously not everything is ok, we still need to figure out how to stop all of these weird things from happening. I'll add Vlad and see if he has anything else to say or if he can come on today.

 

Axesandasses >> added notavamp to the conversation

 

love&rosesaesthetic > has everyone else been holding their breath for the past two minutes because nothing’s going to happen

love&rosesaesthetic > ...Oliver is asking to join

3catholic5u > add him

 

love&rosesaesthetic >> removed notavamp from the conversation

 

love&rosesaesthetic >> added scone&eyebrowaesthetic to the conversation

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > great to see you guys again! Well, it’s not that great for you but you know what I mean, right?

Axesandasses > why did you ask to join

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > you’re saying I can’t just ask to talk with different people every once in awhile?

love&rosesaesthetic > just answer the question

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > ...fine

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I just wanted to see how much that friend of yours told everyone, and I think he went a bit past his limit

Vikingking > what are you going to do to him?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Well, I’m not going to do anything. Vas will do it, I’m not really in the mood to hit a kid-- or an adult for that matter

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > honestly, if it were up to me everyone in this chatroom would have been dead by now, but we don’t always get what we want

 

love&rosesaesthetic >> has left the conversation

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Oh, I didn’t scare him off, did I? I was sure he’d want to hear about Arthur!

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well, he’s a lost cause now, so what’s the point?

Thespaqueen > what’re you planning on doing to our friends?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > as long as it ends up in them getting killed over and over again it doesn’t really matter.

3catholic5u > why are you even here? We haven’t done anything wrong!

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > and that’s exactly why we’re here!

 

3catholic5u >> has left the conversation

 

Draconianbanshee > you know I thought I knew some creepy guys but this really takes first place

 

Draconianbanshee >> has left the conversation

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Well, that’s about as flattering as it gets

Axesandasses > yeah can we just remove him

Thespaqueen > you guys can leave if you want I want to talk to him

 

Axesandasses >> has left the conversation 

 

Thespaqueen > you do know that no matter what you do, you can’t actually bring us down? It's impossible at this point. No matter how difficult or how terrible a situation we’re in is, it always sees itself through in some sort of ridiculously convenient solution. It's pointless to fight us either way, so why not go home now and leave us alone before something bad happens to you and your friends?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Heartwarming thought, love, but I’ve known that for awhile. Why do you think I’m the one always coming to these chats and getting you information I know you can’t use? I’ve dealt with it for a while. This sort of thing can drive you… oh wait, it already has.

Thespaqueen > so it's not just me who noticed?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > our worlds mirror each other-- when one of us is killed your turn of events always plays out so someone here dies as well. Arthur getting killed over a game of chess? That started in my world. Did you really think that there wasn’t anyone else with your problem?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > It’s a curse, really. No matter what I do you’ll just come back stronger and I’ll get weaker. I’d tell you everything if I didn’t have a bit of pride, but you’ll find out soon enough.

Thespaqueen > it's dumb to try to bring my world down if in the end you will be the one suffering from it. Everything here just seems so staged, like it'd already been planned out.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > whenever I try to explain that they brush it off, saying that ‘my insanity’s showing again.’

Thespaqueen > I'm not accused of being insane, but with my friends it's “what fourth wall are you trying to break?” It's annoying, but it also really does make you wonder if what you see happening is really just you being crazy

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > there’s a thin line between being crazy and being right. It’s all a pattern people are too ignorant to see, isn’t it? That’s how people have always thought-- if it seems logical it’s right. This… this is why people like us do what we do. This is why we seem to break the fourth wall and act insane (though I’ll admit it’s not acting for me)

Thespaqueen > you say people like us like we’re anything alike. We couldn't be more different, it's just really interesting how someone else understands what I mean when I bring up the incredible pattern between everything that happens in our lives.

Thespaqueen > the pattern isn't a routine in our lives, it's more like a trope which all of our problems follow. Something bad happens, it solves itself and we all laugh it off, and never fully understand it.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > and all your problems come out of the blue? Sometimes there never seems to be a motive for the first action?

Thespaqueen > always, and somehow if I bring up the trope then the problem falls on my shoulders to fix. Maybe of course the chat. For some reason, I feel like I get the center of the problem like the eye of a storm.

Thespaqueen > not to feel selfish while noticing this of course

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > even in my chat it seems to get back to me. When one person gets something wrong-- by extension-- its because of me.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > ...how have you been able to hold up the weight of this world for so long?

Thespaqueen > I haven't held it up myself. Everyone always does their part, mine again to be put unnecessary pressure on. It always ends up at my own or my friends’ expense and whenever I point it out, that's when I start to question if the pattern I'm noticing is just me overanalyzing.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Friends don’t really exist where I’m from, so I can’t even mention it that often without someone else silencing me. You stop questioning these things when they happen enough, and you just accept that you’ll always either win or lose.

Thespaqueen > it's sad to think you may have turned out so differently if you had had a better setting or group of friends.

Thespaqueen > uh no offense

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > why do you think there’s a constant power struggle? I’ll always try to get to the top and end up falling hard. Why do you think I couldn’t get into a better mission? I get matched with the ones who don’t work correctly because it’s just meant to be that way.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > and besides, if I were in a different setting your Arthur would be in the same position as I am in now.

Thespaqueen > that's true, it's a necessary evil I guess.

Thespaqueen > listen, I still hate you. Just a heads up. But it's nice talking to someone else who at least understands the weird rhythm between our world(s).

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > likewise 

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic >> had left the conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mun trash is listening to WTNV again blame that


	65. In Which - part 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well this took too long

Hungryandhungary >> added soavamp, iceicebb, and scone&eyebrowaesthetic to the conversation

 

Hungryandhungary > how did getting information from home go? Any new orders?

 

soavamp > nothing new except a few friendly death threats to help me get through the day… as per usual

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > so when will we leave?

 

soavamp > if I had an answer you’d get one

 

Hungryandhungary > so that means we’re stuck here with no new orders? Sounds like at this point they just want us to stay here forever.

 

soavamp > we won’t, but we could always wreck havoc on everyone. It is what we do, after all

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Czech is asking to be added, think we could do something to her for a while?

 

Hungryandhungary > and why would we do that? I just want to be done with this

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > ...I’m bored and I can’t find anything to do that’s mildly entertaining?

 

Hungryandhungary > This is ridiculous 

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic >> added thespaqueen to the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > oh, hi Oliver

 

Thespaqueen > oh

 

Thespaqueen > bye Oliver

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > stay! It’ll be fine, we can’t get to you here!

 

soavamp > well you seem to go insane at convenient times

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > just patterns, nothing more

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > and it’s more of a constant state of insanity incase you were wondering

 

Thespaqueen > Why am I here exactly??

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > you asked to join, so you did

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Isn’t that right, Czech?

 

Thespaqueen > I mean I was gonna ask something but clearly you wanna mess with me you still have the original chat up you know

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well we don’t really need to cover our tracks anymore, so why bother?

 

Hungryandhungary > take your girlfriend somewhere else would you

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > oh I’m sorry, am I making you jealous? Am I upsetting you? Are you u n c o m f o r t a b l e?

 

Hungryandhungary > why would I be jealous of whatever that is, 

 

Thespaqueen > I'm right here

 

soavamp > and your point is?

 

Thespaqueen > ouch I thought I was rude but,,

 

Thespaqueen > I look like a saint compared to whatever you guys are

 

soavamp > I honestly regret not taking our Czech instead of Egil because she can actually do damage

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > ...shots fired

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > but is Egil even here?

 

Iceicebb > always

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > do you understand the concept of communication?

 

Iceicebb > why waste it on you

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > because it’s amusing when you try

 

Iceicebb > ok bye

 

Iceicebb >> has left the conversation

 

Hungryandhungary > finally

 

soavamp > at

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Czech, what did you want to ask me anyways?

 

Thespaqueen > Yeah,, when tf am I gonna see my friends again @ everyone here

 

Thespaqueen > I’m worried about my girlfriend,,

 

soavamp > oh please, she’s the strongest one there. I’d be worried about that kid to be honest

 

Thespaqueen > yeah him too I guess

 

Thespaqueen > I can’t believe I’m literally begging kidnappers over skype to release my friends from an actual other dimension what is this

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > a dimensional heist…? Yeah that works well

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > we still answer to higher powers sometimes-- well not often of course, but often enough to understand that if we go back now we’ll end up in a worse position than your precious Liz

 

Thespaqueen > Honestly do you think I give two shits,, the people who you took are all somewhat innocent,, wyd

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > immortals can’t be innocent. Never have been and never will

 

Thespaqueen > I said somewhat, and in this circumstance we both know they did nothing to hurt you

 

soavamp > in your words, honestly do you think I give two shits

 

soavamp > they were in our way for a bit, and that’s enough

 

Thespaqueen > You’re a disgusting person and I honestly hope that you can find it in you to just,, just not to be completely honest?? What did we do besides be in your “way for a bit and that’s enough”

 

soavamp > have you ever had to relocate for a bit while there was a war all around you? Imagine that but global and nuclear. Now make that general image a bit worse.

 

soavamp > anyone’s a saint compared to us really, but don’t quite a few of the saints get killed in some way?

 

Thespaqueen > Hi yes,, we all have [been in nuclear war],,, it’s not my fault that your world can’t stay together for two seconds

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I think she’d get along well with Flavio, don’t you?

 

soavamp > I was thinking maybe Luciano

 

Thespaqueen > Is that supposed to be an insult I don’t know who either of those are

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > not really, just a thought

 

Thespaqueen > ..ok then

 

soavamp > Viktor?

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > she’s be killed within the hour, maybe Gilen

 

Thespaqueen > WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE

 

soavamp > that’s not important, but Gilen? Seriously? No way in hell would that happen

 

Thespaqueen > I just want to know who these people are and what the hell you’re doing,,

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > our South Italy, North Italy, Russia, and Prussia

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > also it’s a slight ship war

 

Thespaqueen > I’m offended

 

soavamp > ...the italy brothers would make a lot of sense though

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > exactly!

 

Thespaqueen > Yes hello you guys know very well I have a girlfriend and,,,,

 

Thespaqueen > I’m triGGERED!!1!!!1111!!1

 

soavamp > brotp then

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I can agree to that

 

Thespaqueen > fite me

 

soavamp > gladly

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Vas no

 

soavamp > I’m not saying Vas yes

 

Thespaqueen > You just did

 

Hungryandhungary > anything important happening yet?

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > nothing you’d care about, but that’s nothing new

 

Hungryandhungary > Of course I don’t care about your bullshit

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > have you ever cared about anything or do you only act like this while I’m around?

 

Hungryandhungary > yes

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > fair enough

 

Thespaqueen > Much drama such fite

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Czech please don’t bring your memes into this

 

soavamp > aren't they illegal somewhere now?

 

Thespaqueen > I’m pretty sure they are in 1P Russia so in 2P Russia is it like a national flag or something

 

soavamp > oddly enough the meme situation was just strict from the beginning, it’s almost like frogs are symbols of war

 

Thespaqueen > gr9

 

soavamp > ...its gr8

 

Thespaqueen > not anymore

 

soavamp > it’s always been gr8 it’s not changing

 

Thespaqueen > it already has,, update your meemees scrub

 

soavamp > why can’t this be a meme-free chat anymore

 

Thespaqueen > I am a meme so just remove me

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > it is good having someone that isn’t always concerned about power or murder around

 

Thespaqueen > Sketchy

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > and we’re not all of a sudden?

 

Thespaqueen > true

 

soavamp > wait wait why are we having a friendly conversation with our enemy how does that even happen

 

Thespaqueen > I don’t know but whatever you’re doing you’re doing terribly

 

soavamp > well none of you can even lay a finger on us so I’d say we’re decent

 

Thespaqueen > Yeah because you aren’t telling us where you are that is the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard

 

Thespaqueen > Honestly if you say you’re strong enough that we can’t lay a finger on you tell us where you are and we’ll see about that

 

soavamp > ...isn’t anyone there at least a novice hacker?

 

Thespaqueen > Yeah but only an idiot would put their whereabouts online even in a chatroom amiright

 

Thespaqueen > oh

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > (P. Sherman) 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > yes I went there

 

Thespaqueen > ,,,,, so Im taking it as a yes you’ve talked about your whereabouts in the chat

 

Thespaqueen > good to know good to know

 

soavamp > can’t you track location here or is that something only we can do?

 

Thespaqueen > Well shit I can’t computer

 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > you can use photoshop fairly well, I found the picture of that ring you made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now you're probably wondering "wow how the fuck do we dig this shit out of this weird hole?"


	66. In Which - part 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sad we weren't able to do anything for Halloween   
> \- Trash

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> added hungaryandhungary, iceicebby, and notavamp to the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...when do you think they’ll let us go?

Hungaryandhungry > Whenever it is we can’t show them (or let them) see that they’re getting to us at this point they’re probably doing it for their own enjoyment

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > its hard not to let it show when there are always plants showing that it’s very clearly getting to me. Honestly, I swear they’re all insane at this point

Hungaryandhungry > that’s really everything we know about this do you think everyone else even sees something is going on?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > who knows? We’re fairly easy to imitate when you think about it… for all I know nothing’s changed there

Hungaryandhungry > All we get to see really is the effect of what they’re doing and I’m almost sure they’re letting us see that much on purpose

Notavamp > ...they’re tearing the group apart and everyone knows something’s up

Hungaryandhungry > how would we know, you barely told them everything that’s happening. We’re lucky we even managed to get this time with our phones, any sign of them coming back yet?

Notavamp > nothing

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well if they know something’s wrong, then at least this isn’t going to last forever… right?

Hungaryandhungry > Theoretically this could last however long they want it to, but we all know that by forever they’ll figure out a way to get rid of us for good

Hungaryandhungry > that came out a lot darker than I wanted it to

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I thought of three ways off the top of my head so that’s not a good sign

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’d say at least we have Ivan if they invade but the one here’s definately going to be worse

Hungaryandhungry > I’m really just worried about what’s going on back at home, otherwise I probably could stand this for a while longer

Hungaryandhungry > not that I want to but you get it

Notavamp > and my brother? I haven’t seen him at all since this started but they make sure that we can hear him all the time

Notavamp > I don’t know if it’s him or a recording, but how could you stand that any longer?

Hungaryandhungry > I’m definitely not bragging but I’ve had worse happen

Hungaryandhungry > I mean not the whole interdimensional war thing but torture is nothing new

Notavamp > am I crazy or did anyone else catch Arthur’s laugh

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > wait that was me?

Hungaryandhungry > I didn’t catch it I’m in another room what was it

Notavamp > a dark and creepy chuckle with that sort of smile where you know someone’s going to die…?

Hungaryandhungry > foreshadowing going on here,,,

Hungaryandhungry > that was a joke please don’t kill anyone

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I didn’t even notice it to be fair

Notavamp > it was a split-second look but the laugh just,, I didn’t know you could even laugh like that tbh

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...lovely

Hungaryandhungry > Vlad I wasn’t able to even talk to you after the chat you had with Den can I have a quick recap

Notavamp > chatwithden.png here you go

Hungaryandhungry > wow I’m just surprised he believed you more than Lukas

Notavamp > I’m more shocked than you

Hungaryandhungry > do you think that’s enough info to get them looking for us?

Notavamp > if I convinced Den then yes

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > any idea what whoever Vas is did?

Hungaryandhungry > nope

Hungaryandhungry > Ice is curled up in the corner of our room and he hasn’t spoken at all he’s just rocking back and forth should I be worried he’s gonna kill me

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > he won’t, he learned to control everything very quickly. Unless they flat out torture him nothing will be consumed in the void 

Notavamp > for just a dollar a day you can get Arthur a bit better at reassuring people

Hungaryandhungry > should I be getting close to him I want to tell him abt the chat and everything but I don’t think he can hear me we’re already locked in a small room at this point should I poke him with a stick

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > go for it…?

Hungaryandhungry > update: he’s crying now

Hungaryandhungry > How do I fix this he sounds like he’s about to kill me 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > just stay in the opposite corner for now and keep quiet

Notavamp > you’re really bad with feelings huh

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > oh, so you just noticed?

Hungaryandhungry > way ahead of you

Hungaryandhungry > there’s nobody coming to check and see if we’re in our rooms and/or on or phones this is really weird

Notavamp > it’s not like we can contact anyone while we’re in this dimension, so it doesn’t matter that much

Hungaryandhungry > still, we can communicate with each other. If they wanted us completely isolated they’d keep us all in separate rooms instead of in pairs, but I’m just wondering why 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > its simple really. My powers are almost canceled out with Vlad in the room, and vice versa (fire burns plants and earth puts out fire). You and Ice are together for the one reason being that you have no idea how to deal with a depressed chaos mage.

Hungaryandhungry > Well shit you don’T KNOW ME

Hungaryandhungry > to be fair that actually makes sense but I guess if he wasn’t already broken he’d be able to break the divide between the dimensions so it’s smart to eliminate the chaos mage

Notavamp > well half of our room is charred and the other is covered in irises and poison ivy so we can’t move around that much

Hungaryandhungry > Well I mean ice is really shut down in terms of his powers you’d expect a ton of portals and/or rips in time and an entire galaxy in here but no

Hungaryandhungry > You’re the magic guy why even is that

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > chaos magic is more anger-orientated than depression, though somewhere in this dimension some poor soul may have fallen straight through a portal and ended up in Australia

Hungaryandhungry > huh

Notavamp > why Australia?

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...why not?

Notavamp > true

Hungaryandhungry > would Ice even be able to fix something like this

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I have no idea

Notavamp > well, coming from the guy who actually saw the spell, he could but it would tear him apart so much that not even his abilities as a nation could bring him back. He’d either actually die for good or be eternally ripped apart… which isn’t good. So that’s a no.

Hungaryandhungry > right.

Hungaryandhungry > wait he's getting up I don't know what to do

Hungaryandhungry > oh ok he picked up his phone unless he can figure out a way to kill me with that we’re good

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well fuck I already thought of 7 different ways he could do that

Hungaryandhungry > well shit I see you've become so much more optimistic in this conversation 

Hungaryandhungry > There should realistically be some way we can contact the others tho, maybe

Notavamp > an interdimensional messenger pigeon would work

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Vlad stop

Notavamp > hey it might exist somewhere

Hungaryandhungry > :\ if this is our only hope let's just go turn ourselves in to one of their torture things im sure they have where they're keeping

Hungaryandhungry > uh nevermind

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > weren’t you the optimistic one here?

Hungaryandhungry > uh nevermind

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well bravo to you then

Hungaryandhungry > listen, how long ago was it that you were able to get in touch with the others Vlad

Hungaryandhungry > not to bring this up again but uh time is weird

Notavamp > a few days, no more than a week

Hungaryandhungry > were they able to get any specifics on any places because besides “other dimension” im p sure it's a bit hard to track us

Notavamp > I’m sure they’ve figured something out by now… maybe Lukas even found a counterspell for this?

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > doubtful

Notavamp > well a guy can hope

Hungaryandhungry > yeesh he's already dead inside

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > yep

Notavamp > oh yeah

Notavamp > wait which he or both of us

Hungaryandhungry > yes?


	67. In Which - part 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Musical references cuz we're trash

Thespaqueen >> added axesandasses, vikingking, draconianbanshee, 3catholic5u, love&rosesaesthetic, and weebpyromania to the conversation 

 

Thespaqueen > yeah so Oliver basically gave me the answer I need 

 

Thespaqueen > Leon do me a favor read up help us out for a minute oliverisannoying.jpg

 

Weebpyromania > and you’re saying you didn’t think of this beforehand?

 

love&rosesaesthetic > um… nope?

 

Weebpyromania > give me 15 minutes I’ll have it then

 

Thespaqueen > wow that was easy

 

Weebpyromania > wait nvm I need 20 bc my fucking laptop doesn’t understand we’re in the middle of an international crisis and decided to lag out

 

Thespaqueen > I'd expect you to have fast internet tbh

 

Weebpyromania > well so did I but the universe tends to hate me

 

Weebpyromania > well I got it finally, its at 47.0105° N, 28.8638° E

 

Thespaqueen > right is that condom France bc if it's not im disappointed 

 

love&rosesaesthetic > I knew that would come up at sometime or another

 

Thespaqueen > if it isn't I'm gonna be disappointed

 

Thespaqueen > very disappointed 

 

Draconianbanshee > I’d say Dildo Canada but that’s western… damn it

 

Weebpyromania > first off what’s wrong with you

 

Weebpyromania > second its Chișinău, Moldova

 

Thespaqueen > 1\. Everything

 

Thespaqueen > 2\. K cool then 

 

Weebpyromania > but in all honestly do you know where Ice is?

 

Weebpyromania > well everyone else is included

 

Thespaqueen > I get the feeling but I thought he said you two weren't officially back together yet

 

Thespaqueen > did I say yet I meant table

 

Thespaqueen > def what I meant

 

Weebpyromania > ...table?

 

Thespaqueen > I'm so sorry I'm bad at this

 

Vikingking > czech just quit while you’re behind

 

Weebpyromania >> has left the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > how did he and Ice even become a thing in the first place they’re so incredibly different

 

Vikingking > I think it was Den’s idea and it worked

 

Axesandasses > thank

 

3catholic5u > on a more important note when are we going to Moldova

 

Draconianbanshee > ...now?

 

3catholic5u > ok hold up there’s no way you’re coming

 

Draconianbanshee > I can fight, you know

 

Thespaqueen > Seamus what's the worst that could happen

 

3catholic5u > oh, I don’t know, she could maybe… fucking die???

 

Thespaqueen > it's gonna happen one day or another

 

Thespaqueen > I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding

 

Thespaqueen > she'll be just fine I'm sure

 

Axesandasses > don't jinx it

 

Draconianbanshee > czech that went from sappy to cringey to ok in a matter of seconds

 

Draconianbanshee > but I’m still going either way

 

Vikingking > well I’d suggest you bring a gun to a knife fight but you should really bring both and then some

 

Thespaqueen > why do you even wanna come

 

Draconianbanshee > well there’s the actual answer, the legally blonde answer, or the badass answer… you can pick

 

Thespaqueen > I already can guess the second and the third is too cringey so what is the first?

 

Draconianbanshee > fair enough. Alright, so I know you guys are immoral and all and I’m almost 30 compared to your centuries, but I still worry a lot and honestly I need to make sure that, well, that Seamus is alright through it. 

 

Draconianbanshee > also before you say you’ll be fine I have my ways and I’m coming

 

3catholic5u > ...well shit you beat me by a few seconds

 

Thespaqueen > in that case let's go pack whatever weapons we need and get going. I'm still too lazy to go to your places and tHEN have to travel again so 

 

Thespaqueen > plus I don't want to even come in contact with any of your messy ass houses

 

Vikingking > I get the message, I’ll pick everyone up in an hour

 

Thespaqueen > cool should I bring gasoline and I found a cigarette lighter outside the other day

 

love&rosesaesthetic > you’re not exploding anything

 

Thespaqueen > I'm gonna put gasoline in a spray bottle and just lightly spritz it around the building,

 

Thespaqueen > then fucking light it on fiRE

 

Vikingking > you bring that and you walk to Moldova

 

Thespaqueen > what's the issue they probably have stupid shit like that there

 

Vikingking > do I really need to put a tactical spin on it? They know their surroundings so they’ll know where to go so the fire can’t get to them. The fact that we a) are in a bigger group so we can’t avoid it in the first place and b) have someone who won’t come back on our side, we can’t use anything that’ll last. Also we’ll really piss off Moldova when he gets back

 

Thespaqueen > a) well I mean if you don’t like my tactics you don't have to come b) ok good point c) piss him off that what we started a little fire he should be more pissed that he was fucking kidnapped 

 

Vikingking > well a) they have someone there who can use black magic so you’ll be sitting ducks if I’m not there, b) exactly, and c) I was just bringing it up to try to lighten the mood but noooo

 

Thespaqueen > ok ok

 

Thespaqueen > can I bring other weapons tho like blowtorches, flamethrowers, 

 

Vikingking > nothing fire related.

 

3catholic5u > also nothing explosive bc that just seems like your next question

 

Thespaqueen > but wh- oh ok well Seamus you got me there

 

Thespaqueen > but guns, SHIPS, 

 

Draconianbanshee > guns, swords, and a will to dominate and survivE

 

Draconianbanshee > and any other weapons you can think of that don’t explode or start fires

 

Thespaqueen > you should probably bring whatever body armor you have though

 

Thespaqueen > is that not something humans usually carry around

 

Draconianbanshee > uh no not in the slightest, only when someone like the Zodiac Killer comes around

 

love&rosesaesthetic > well what other weapons can we even use? We can’t use knifes bc Czech might get freaked out, shields are helpful but not for attacking, bows take too long, and we can’t exactly punch our way out of this

 

Thespaqueen > I feel like it isn’t something I should brag about but 

 

Thespaqueen > I can fighT

 

Vikingking > we get it,, you killed someone,, bravo,, you happy?

 

Thespaqueen > yes

 

Thespaqueen > very

 

Vikingking > of course you are

 

Thespaqueen > wow fight me

 

Thespaqueen > I mean don’t but I can fight you

 

Vikingking > well when I’m not hell bent on revenge I think clearly, so I’m up for a rematch

 

Thespaqueen > yikes 

 

Thespaqueen > I’m good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ref to legally blonde and ref to make happy if you get both and can name the songs I'll be v happy  
> \- trash


	68. In Which They've Got a Bad Feeling About This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yep its a star wars reference that just happens to work all too well in the title.
> 
> -Mun Metta

Thespaqueen >> added 3catholic5u to the conversation

Thespaqueen > Sorry I can’t be there, but how is she holding up?

3catholic5u > I don’t know. It missed her heart but only by an inch or so, and she still hasn’t woken up, if she… well… if she does at all

Thespaqueen > I’m really sorry Seamus 

3catholic5u > Its just that… well, I don’t really know

3catholic5u > and really it’s no one’s fault but my own

Thespaqueen > wait what

Thespaqueen > That’s not true you were kinda the one telling her not to come

3catholic5u > I know, but I was on the other side of the room trying to get to Vas when I should have been with her… I don’t know if you get that to be completely honest

Thespaqueen > If you were to argue that then all of us are at fault

3catholic5u > Not really. I told her before we came in she’d be fine and that she’d make it out alright. _ This _ isn’t alright in the slightest.

Thespaqueen > If it makes you feel any better Oliver got the others to switch out and bring back the others after you and Myrna left.

3catholic5u > so he really is on our side then

Thespaqueen > so much so the other 2Ps left him back here and won’t let him switch out, which means we have to wait just a bit longer to see Arthur. We will get him back.

3catholic5u > And how are you so sure about that? We’ve seen how ruthless these people are, they might never give him back!

Thespaqueen > We will get him back. I promise, we will do everything we can and we will get him back.

3catholic5u > ...How are you staying so positive though this? Nothing makes sense and you’re making sense of it. Hm, I guess I’ll never really understand you then.

Thespaqueen > Used to it. Please just stay by Myrna for a while and don’t worry about too much else for now. 

Thespaqueen > Should we add the others?

3catholic5u > Sure, but what abou the ones that just came back? Are they alright enough to talk?

Thespaqueen > for the most part I guess

 

Thespaqueen >> added hungaryandhungry, iceicebby, notavamp, mybrothersavampire, axesandasses, love&rosesaesthetic, and scone&eyebrowaesthetic

 

love&rosesaesthetic > has she improved at all?

3catholic5u > read the chat

Thespaqueen > here it comes

love&rosesaesthetic > I’m sorry Seamus, we should have been watching

3catholic5u > stop taking the blame, please. It’s my fault she’s here.

Axesandasses > Why are you blaming yourself when it’s clearly Adela who came up with the stupid idea to bring her along (in a series of other genius ideas)

Thespaqueen > expected. I’m sorry, I was sure nothing like this was gonna happen!

Vikingking > Myrna was the first one to bring it up, Czech had nothing to do with it.

Vikingking > and before you say anything yes I’m on her side now

Axesandasses > wow

Hungaryandhungry > honestly Myrna is a human though, it’s in her nature to overestimate herself.

Hungaryandhungry > I don’t think it was a good idea for Adela to facilitate that

Notavamp > Its my fault we got into this mess in the first place, so let's leave it at that.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > humble isn’t a good look for you. I was one of the idiots who made the plan, remember? It falls back on me

love&rosesaesthetic > I’m glad you helped and everything, but you barely know any of us and while you’re here I can’t see Arthur.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Well maybe I should have made Egil add a bit more poison to your drink than the others. You wouldn’t have wanted that, love, so be careful where you step around me.

Notavamp > ...aren’t you on our side?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > it’s just a petty threat, that’s all. Nothing major.

Thespaqueen > So you were the one that drugged us,,, I will have you know I was sick for 3 days and 7 hours,,,,,, AND a minute,

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > are you finished ranting?

Thespaqueen > rude

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Its in my nature

Thespaqueen > you say after also dually being the person who had an existential crisis while in a skype chat with me

3catholic5u > you two had that long of a chat?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > if we explained you’d think I’m more insane than I am and that Czech’s mind is breaking down, so let’s leave it at yes, we did in fact have that long of a chat. Is that a problem?

Hungaryandhungry > I’m not gonna lie, a little bit

Hungaryandhungry > so I’m worried sick about you and literally trying to survive torture from these people and you go on and have friendly conversations with them?

Thespaqueen > k bye

Notavamp > no, you’ll stay. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that you were friends with our enemy before he swapped sides-- and you never told them how close you apparently became. I know I wasn’t there, I was busy hearing my brother scream out in pain every day, but you do owe us an explanation.

Thespaqueen > here we go again

Thespaqueen > Honestly do I really have to be the one to explain this one

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > They already hate me, so I’ll take this one.

Thespaqueen > thanks for that

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I’m sure you’re smart enough to know what a pattern is, so I’ll skip that lesson. You all fall into one. The good always prevail, the bad always lose. The blame seems to fall on one certain person no matter what dimension is in question, and it honestly gets boring after a while. Everyone always turns out fine until something goes wrong, and the history repeats itself.

Thespaqueen > Yeah that and honestly I started the conversation with him as a bit of a warning so uh

Thespaqueen > idk we just kinda became friends

Hungaryandhungry > “we just kinda became friends” my ass that doesn’t excuse anything

Vikingking > he actually convinced you that we’re in some sort of matrix?

Thespaqueen > no I kinda warned him about-- ok yeah sure

Thespaqueen > :|

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I didn’t convince anyone about the matrix idea. She brought it up, not me.

Thespaqueen > WOW taking one for the team like a champ I see

Thespaqueen > yeah either way he did end up helping us if it wasn’t for that you guys would still be there for god knows how long.

love&rosesaesthetic > I swear you two went mad

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well thank goodness for that or else my plan never would have worked

3catholic5u > I know you guys haven’t really cared about someone who could actually die, except for francis, but this isn’t the time to argue who’s to blame. It doesn’t matter. It happened, and that’s all I have the stability to worry about.

3catholic5u > Yeah, Oli’s a dick and so is Czech, but I have more important things to worry about.

Thespaqueen > gee thanks

love&rosesaesthetic > I know you’re glad your boyfriend gets to stay for a while, but Arthur’s bound to be dead by now-- or worse. So until he leaves you better think of what could be happening to the England that actually matters.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > ouch

Thespaqueen > roas- ok not the time

Thespaqueen > I get it 

Thespaqueen > It’s not like I’m not worried about him, but you’re talking to me like I did nothing and this is all my fault.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well, to them it is… as per usual.

Thespaqueen > I get it you’re our friend now just shut up for a second 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > fine, I’ll be quiet for a bit.

Thespaqueen > THANK  Y O U

Thespaqueen > Ok now here’s the issue: The way the 2Ps and 1Ps are always able to switch is through that mirror. The reason they were able to switch after that battle was because of the mirror. But Arthur doesn’t have a way to be switched through, and the 2Ps wouldn’t let him switch either way because Oliver is a traitor. That’d mean we’d first have to get Arthur some way to find the mirror and from there get Oliver and him to say the spell at the same time to switch.

love&rosesaesthetic > we know that. Well, since you did come from that world, oliver, any ideas?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > So, I can actually speak now?

love&rosesaesthetic > y e s

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > Well we have three mages with us now, although one might still be broken, and that should be enough to send a few word message through. I heard Vas muttering something about it all, and I’m sure you can find a spell for it. I doubt he’ll be able to respond right away, so Vlad and I will need to stay by the mirror if he’s able to break free.

Thespaqueen > And also, for the record, you guys need to stop immediately turning to me when something goes wrong and all point your fingers why is this a thing 

Thespaqueen > Oliver that was a question for them not you

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I figured.

3catholic5u > Look, I’m not trying to blame you for any of this, but Arthur’s the only one that can get this wound healed fast enough. So… Oliver needs to get his ass out of this world and into his own.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > seriously?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well yes I know all of that, but don’t swear. It’s not necessary!

3catholic5u > ...geez. I’m not sure if I should find that intimidating or hilarious. A murderer is scared of swearing. 10/10

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I’m the only chance you have to get your brother back and in turn save your girlfriend, so I’d stop if I were you.

Axesandasses > Oh I’m so sowwy that’s so scawwy now,,, 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > would you rather I sent you into one of your flashbacks? We all know how those turn out, don’t we?

Vikingking > well just to change the subject how are we doing all of this

Axesandasses > oh bwing it whats it gonna be,, oh don’t tell me a scawwy nightmaw what’re you gonna honestly,, oh sorry honestwy,

Axesandasses > Pretend I never said that

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > How long do you think it’ll take for me to get Russia under my thumb?

Thespaqueen > am I allowed to answer

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > ...go for it

Thespaqueen > you can’t do it without magic right

Thespaqueen > when I was in your chats you still left them up I could easily read them

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > magic helps with controlling it, but you’d be surprised at what a vial of my own creation can do.

Thespaqueen > is belladonna kinda like scary weed

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > ...sure

Thespaqueen > lit

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > not at all, or at least not for you. Unless you google it. But that isn’t as good as firsthand experience. 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > nevermind

Thespaqueen > that was uh,, nice,,

Thespaqueen > Why hasn’t anyone else said anything it’s been a million years

Thespaqueen > or five minute same difference

Notavamp > alright who else ships it

love&rosesaesthetic > not gonna lie I’m convinced

Vikingking > ...maybe

Hungaryandhungry > and this is why I hate this group of friends

 

3catholic5u >> has left the conversation

 

love&rosesaesthetic > well that can’t be good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When in doubt paraphrase Jack Sparrow


	69. In Which - part [RIP VAS]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mun Trash is gonna write a my immortal wtnv fanfic help her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bel is gonna sell Vas to Satan for one cornchip

soavamp >> added hungryandhungary and iceicebb to the conversation

 

soavamp > so who’s idea was it again to let him come?

hungryandhungary > Shut up.

soavamp > that’s all I needed to hear.

hungryandhungary > no wonder he was dropped down to this group, he’s a fucking traitor.

soavamp > He’ll be back eventually, those 1Ps won’t last long without their precious Arthur-- not to mention that girl you took down earlier.

hungryandhungary > I don’t want Oliver back here, he’s a disgrace. And there can’t be two opposites in one world, so unfortunately we’ll just have to make do with keeping Arthur here for however long.

soavamp > but you can’t get Oliver back of you never see him again

hungryandhungary > Why do we need to get him back?

soavamp > for starters he destroyed our mission, he constantly interfered, he was a general nuisance, and, in case you’ve forgotten, he’s a traitor. That’s a pretty good reason for revenge, don’t you think?

Hungaryandhungry > 1) surely would have gone a lot smoother if you didn’t fuck it up so early on 2) fair enough 3) fair enough 4) fair enough,

Hungaryandhungry > Still, his punishment can be exile. Can’t we torture him through his 2P?

soavamp > here’s the thing: as they get stronger we get weaker, but if Oliver ends up getting stronger from this the other nations in the 1P word will cast him out because they know for certain that Arthur’s doomed here with us.

hungryandhungary > Trust me, I doubt that’s something they realize. And either way, it’s a lose-lose for him.

soavamp > that’s true.

soavamp > alright, am I crazy or did you hear that laugh too?

Iceicebb > We have a probLEM

hungryandhungary > glad you’re just tuning in, what else is new?

Iceicebb > it’s not anything that has to do with Oliver’s betrayal as far as I know of.

hungryandhungary > Taking that with a grain of salt because you really know of close to nothing

Iceicebb > Right so Arthur has completely lost it

soavamp > well that’s what happens during torture if you didn’t know

Iceicebby > yeah but I mean like he’s just completely,, not even broken I can’t even describe it,,

Iceicebby > Yeah so I went by the window of his room to see how he was doing with whatever thing you decided to put him through because let’s be honest I wouldn’t give two shits about asking you two,

Iceicebby > and he was just flat out smiling in an electric chair I don’t know if that’s what’s supposed to happen but

soavamp > shit I’m coming that’s not good

soavamp > alright what’s with his dark chuckle I haven't even been able to master it and he learned it in all of an hour

hungryandhungary > yeah please just sit to the side and learn how to laugh while I take care of this mess.

soavamp > I wouldn’t recommend that. The door’s iron for a reason Bel.

hungryandhungary > I was being sarcastic, you know well I wouldn’t just let you sit to the side and slack off. I’m going to the control room to turn off the controls, keep me posted on his behavior and all three of us can go in together. 

soavamp > keep you posted? Fine. there’s thorns everywhere. E v e r y w h e r e

soavamp > he hasn’t even flinched and that he’s rubbing it in my face that I can’t get that laugh right.

soavamp > yeah nothing’s happening except the thorns are getting worse but he’s not moving at all

Hungryandhungary > I’m coming, is he saying anything or just sitting there?

soavamp > it's that classic pirate-y song but it sounds so much darker. That one with the ‘never shall we die line’? Yeah just look it up

hungryandhungary > I’m not going to “look it up” when we have an unstable captive who we need to subdue, but it seems like he’s completely lost whatever was left of his mind.

soavamp > wait would that mean Oliver’s normal… ish? 

hungryandhungary > I guess so, that’s what happens when you become friends with 1Ps. You become soft. He was bound to at any point, he always resented us.

soavamp > and by us you mean you? 

Hungaryandhungry > Depends, would you care to join him?

soavamp > ..fair enough

soavamp > Egil I swear if this isn't enough to keep you in this chat then what is

Iceicebb > Absolutely nothing leave me out of this

Iceicebb > I’m just sitting in the common room and texting someone else I don’t have time for this

 

soavamp >> removed iceicebb from the conversation

 

soavamp > for the record I'd sell him to satan for one corn chip

hungryandhungary > who wouldn’t

soavamp > SHIT

soavamp > he got out of the chair! I looked away for all of 3 seconds and he got out! He still can't get out of the room but now we have a pacing insane murderer on our hands

hungryandhungary > why. Did. you. Let. him. Get. out.

hungryandhungary > THATS IT I’ll BE HANDLING THIS MYSELF FROM NOW ON

soavamp > THERE ARE THORN SHAPED DENTS IN AN IRON DOOR THAT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA

huungryandhungary > whY

soavamp > I. DONT. FUCKING. KNOW. 

hungryandhungary > SHould I be calling backup I’m scared we’re gonna be cast out too

soavamp > well I think we can take him but I need backup which translates to gET YOUR ASS HERE NOW

hungryandhungary > DEAR GOD I HOPE PEOPLE SEE THESE CHATS

hungryandhungary > I’m texting the G8 about “a slight issue” 

soavamp > this is anything but a slight issue this is bad

Hungaryandhungry > Well if I tell theM ITS NOT A SLIGHT ISSUE WE’RE GOING TO BE FURTHER DEMOTED AS A TEAM IF EGIL DOESN’T GET HIS LAZY ASS OVER HERE

hungryandhungary > how many chairs should I bring

soavamp > funny joke. If a guy can dent and almost unhinge an iron door a few fucking chairs won't do anything. GET A FEW GUNS OR FIRE OR SOMETHING 

hungryandhungary > I havE A LIGHTER AND A SHOTGUN I HOPE THAT DOES SOMETHING

 

soavamp > JUST GET HERE

 

soavamp >> has left the conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why.
> 
> Also, the thing about writing this an asking for suggestions is, it spoils things for the reader. if you want to help out the muns, message us ideas you have at @shitaphczechrepublicdoes or @hetalia-reposts-stuff. that way it doesn't spoil much for readers. Also we may need a person to help us edit. Idk yet. if you're interested in either or just want to message us or something to tell us how much we suck just do that on tumblr or on mun trash's google+. (she's "But a humble fandom artist" if you can find her.)
> 
> Finally, chapter 69 is next. This would be 69 if it weren't for that one ".5" chat.
> 
> \- mun trash


	70. In Which We For Once Ignore The Opportunity To Make a 69 Joke

scone&eyebrowaesthetic >> thespaqueen, hungaryandhungary, notavamp, vikingking, iceicebby, love&rosesaesthetic, 3catholic5u, and axesandasses to the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > It’s early as shit what do you want

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well it's good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first? 

Love&rosesaesthetic > the good news? 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I'm slightly less insane. 

Thespaqueen > ok,,, and the bad news?

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > i'm slightly less insane and I'm actually improving 

Thespaqueen > so why’s that bad news

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well if I'm gaining sanity, guess who's not

Thespaqueen > O H

3catholic5u > I have too much on my mind for this right now. I'll read it all later. 

 

3catholic5u >> has left the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > hoo boy is this gonna be a terrible thing for him to read isn’t it

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > we haven’t even started yet

Vikingking > so much for a normal week then

Thespaqueen > has it ever been a normal week

Vikingking > two. I've actually had two.

Thespaqueen > I’ve had 1/14.

Notavamp > I can't even get a normal hour and you're complaining about 12 normal ones. 

Thespaqueen > congrats you can math

Notavamp > thank

Love&rosesaesthetic > yeah um problem how do we get Oliver insane again… No offence though you have helped

Thespaqueen > Come on,,

Thespaqueen > he was actually kinda cool

Hungaryandhungry > Oh shut up

Love&rosesaesthetic > guys don't even think about it

Axesandasses > too late,

Axesandasses > I see someone’s jealouS

Notavamp > but it won't last long anyway, and Liz just wants Czech all to herself, doesn't she? The poor girl thinks czech’s gonna leeeeeeave

Hungaryandhungry > shH I DO NOT

Axesandasses > Oh I’m sure

Love&rosesaesthetic > GUYS

love&rosesaesthetic > Arthur is going insane and this is what you're worried about?? 

Notavamp > I can't believe it-- Liz thinks she can't compare to Oliver in Czech’s mind! That's adorable! 

Notavamp > oh wait yeah Arthur’s going insane

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > I'm willing to bet he already is from how fast I'm recovering 

Love&rosesaesthetic > can he meet Ivan? 

Vikingking > only if it comes to that

Thespaqueen > 1\. It should never come to that there is never a situation too desperate

Thespaqueen > 2\. Didn’t you say something about sending a message to Arthur’s mind?

Vikingking > I was getting to that. 

Vikingking > spellpage(1).png

Thespaqueen > ok in that case

Thespaqueen > work your magic

Thespaqueen > hA

Notavamp > someone was stabbed yesterday and someone else went insane.

Notavamp > but other than that… hA

Notavamp > also thanks for the page. I'll be at your place in a few to cast it

Thespaqueen > ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Notavamp > alright wtf

Notavamp > well I'm gonna go then

 

Notavamp >> has left the conversation

 

Love&rosesaesthetic > …

Thespaqueen > so I mean I would ask if Myrna’s doing any better but I feel like honestly Seamus would just start crying if I added him

Vikingking > …he just sent me a text. An actual text for once. Not over Skype. That can't be good

Vikingking > she's in a coma, and no one thinks she'll wake up

Thespaqueen > shiiiiiit

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well that's no good. I'm sure she'll be completely fine, of course, but that is at least a little upsetting. 

Thespaqueen > Have some respect.

Thespaqueen > I said the same thing when she came on this stupid mission in the first place, look where that logic got us.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > well, humans tend to be unpredictable anyways, so based on that she’ll probably die. Happy? 

Thespaqueen > sHUT uP.

Hungaryandhungry > and his insanity is getting better? I don’t think we should be worrying about Arthur that much guys.

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > oh, I doubt you mean that! I'm still the reason you're not tied to a table with knives over your chest that slowly get lower and lower until you're impaled and they go through the table itself, if you haven't forgotten

Hungaryandhungry > yikes Arthur is gonna be perfectly fine guys

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > it comes and goes, but less frequently. He's still gone. 

Hungaryandhungry > Did you guys do whatever that spell is yet?

 

Vikingking >> added notavamp to the conversation

 

Vikingking > we just did, but it was easier than I thought. His mind is foggy… So Oliver's still right. 

scone&eyebrowaesthetic > exactly.

love&rosesaesthetic > that’s not exactly a good thing to be right about!

Thespaqueen > how did this devolve into salt in less than thirty seconds

Notavamp > only thirty seconds? I leave for a few days and we lose our touch, huh?

Notavamp > alright humor isn’t helping I’ll shut up for a few minutes

Vikingking > Arthur should be able to get to the mirror by tonight, so the three of us here should get everything ready

 

Vikingking >> removed notavamp from the conversation

 

Vikingking >> left the conversation

 

Thespaqueen > I know this is really unrelated and that you guys are gonna be mad at me for bringing this up but I still can't get over the fact Liz is jealous of Oliver

Thespaqueen > I can't even be mad, I'm??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why couldn't we think of anything   
> \- Trash


	71. In Which It Sort Of Worked I Guess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry we left for so long, although it does feel good to be writing (this shit) again!

Vikingking >> has added notavamp, iceicebby, thespaqueen, 3catholic5u, hungaryandhungary, and axesandasses to the conversation

Vikingking > ok guys this is bad

Vikingking > he's here and everything went perfectly well but this is bad

Vikingking > we're too drained to do anything magic related unless we want to tear ourselves up in the process so, I repeat, this is bad

Thespaqueen > why didn't you guys manage to bring him back and get Oli back with no problems?

Notavamp > well the swap worked even though it was a lot harder than we actually planned,, 

Notavamp > yeah Artie’s the problem

Iceicebby > it’s a little bit more than just a problem, right after he came through the portal he lashed out and while we tried to calm him down he killed Francis.

Vikingking > no magic involved either. He just lifted him a few feet off the ground by the throat and he was dead minutes. 

Notavamp > and he had a look sorta like Ivan on steroids

Iceicebby > the worst part is he was holding Francis off the ground with one hand and managed to fend us off for a few minutes with the other if you needed a good measurement of his strength 

Notavamp > not to mention he barely even looked at us while he was fight us, if that helps at all. He looked Francis in the eyes while he killed him and he smiled… 

Thespaqueen > what the Hell how did it manage to escalate that quickly 

Vikingking > I'm not sure, but he threw Francis’s body to the ground afterwards, chuckled, and kicked our asses

Thespaqueen > I didn't ask but whY

Thespaqueen > even Oliver wasn't that bad he at least had his own mind Arthur literally sounds like he has no control of his thoughts, actions, or whatever else is going on

Thespaqueen > translation: he's going ape shit why

Vikingking > um… Bloodlust? Insanity? Basic barbaric-ness? He thinks we're all trying to kill him even though we're no match for him so it's all a demented game? I can think of a few reasons why. 

Thespaqueen > count me out where even are you

Vikingking > Romania. 

Notavamp > that's where the spell was said first, so to be sure we did it there again. 

Thespaqueen > did he get out

Hungaryandhungry > do you guys need any help? I'm going over there right now. What do you need? Anything in particular?

Thespaqueen > I can already tell that this is either going to be a complete shitshow over there with you helping or really under control

Vikingking > there's no way you're coming over here. If three mages can't take him your frying pan can't even get within the mile

3catholic5u > so you're doomed and you've accepted it because you can't even fight him together? 

Notavamp > well when you put it that way,, yes

Thespaqueen > wow you really should get out of there how are you guys gonna fix him

Vikingking > if you can figure out a cure for insanity then I'll gladly listen, as will most of the world

Vikingking > besides he'll hear us and that isn't a good thing. This isn't Harry potter-- we actually need to say the spells for most occasions 

Thespaqueen > that's fair shouldn't we be worried about what's gonna happen if he manages to get out to areas where people live?

Notavamp > here's the thing: I get the feeling he'll want to finish us off before he uh… Moves on to somewhere else

Thespaqueen > so,, try to get here??

Vikingking > as if we're not trying?? 

Thespaqueen > worst case scenario you guys die and we come and get you we just need to know where exactly you are. But then that'd involve humans dying. Either way it's not a great outcome

Notavamp > well if we teleport dozens of people die and if we don't we and maybe a few people die. 

Thespaqueen > welp

Vikingking > ...I think he's getting closer to us 

Vikingking > if we run we die, 

Vikingking > if we stay we die, 

Vikingking > God dammit we're dead

Thespaqueen > well I mean he needs to be contained

Iceicebby > wow Sherlock you are so incre-- we know

Vikingking > we could try again but then he'll find us faster

Notavamp > fuck it and let's go…? Maybe? 

Vikingking > sure why not and along the way we can be killed

Hungaryandhungry > it's been five minutes did you make the choice yet

Notavamp > we were about to try but he raised his arm and then just collapsed 

Thespaqueen > take the time to teleport your asses over here so we can discuss this

Vikingking > should we bring Artie and Francis, or just Francis? 

Notavamp > ...let's leave Artie for later


	72. In Which The Norweigen Language is Cool

Vikingking >> added notavamp, thespaqueen, hungaryandhungary, iceicebby, axesandasses, 3catholic5u, and love&rosesaesthetic to the conversation 

  
  


Vikingking > Arthur’s still out cold

 

Thespaqueen > yeah we know we’re all in the same room I still don't understand why we don't ever actually talk

 

Vikingking > ...true, but this is easier sometimes

 

Thespaqueen > but is itttt

 

Thespaqueen > sorry sorry

 

love&rosesaesthetic > since we haven’t said ANYTHING can someone pleASE explain why my boyfriend decided to choke me?

 

Thespaqueen > I know this isn't the time but that was the greatest that's what she/he said thing I've ever seen

 

love&rosesaesthetic > shut up Czech

 

Thespaqueen > make me

 

Thespaqueen > I don't actually want to fight forget I said that

 

love&rosesaesthetic > then can someone explain why? He should have been fine after he stepped through the mirror, right?!

 

Thespaqueen > I know I'm still annoying but didn't Oliver say that if he was sane then Arthur would go insane and vice versa

 

love&rosesaesthetic > so now we need to wait for Oliver to break again?

 

Notavamp > when you put it that way…

  
  


Thespaqueen >> has left the conversation

  
  


3catholic5u > since I’m not in “the room where it happens” and for good reason, can’t you think of a more humane way to fix this? Seriously, aren’t we the good guys here? Do you honestly want to trade one man’s sanity for another?

 

love&rosesaesthetic > yes. 100% yes. He’s your brother, why are you so against this?

  
  


3catholic5u >> has left the conversation

  
  


love&rosesaesthetic > wonderful

 

Hungaryandhungry > well she did take that personally she stormed out. I don't know why she would

 

Vikingking > they were fairly close

 

Hungaryandhungry > I don’t know why she would

 

Notavamp > jealous? 

 

Love&rosesaesthetic > can you two shut up until you figure something out? Or in general? 

 

Hungaryandhungry > Sir yes sir

 

Hungaryandhungry > why do we even need to be gathered here if we can text? And why did you leave Arthur to murder people

 

Vikingking > want me to check if he's still out or something? This is just the fastest way for us to get things done, as awkward as it is

 

vikingking > SHIT HE’S WAKING UP

 

Notavamp > I'm coming

 

Vikingking > wait just a minute

 

Vikingking > well his body is encased in ice and he's not trying to escape or talk… Or do anything really

 

Iceicebby > so should I or should I not get over there

 

Vikingking > no it's fine you can stay. 

 

Iceicebby > thank god

 

Vikingking > I think his mind flipped back to normal, but he looks broken instead of enraged 

 

Iceicebby > makes sense.

 

Iceicebby > we should bring him here then

 

Vikingking > I'll be there in a sec

 

Love&rosesaesthetic > well, now that he's here, can you guys leave the room for a minute? I have quite a few things to say, and I doubt you want to hear most of it

  
  


Love&rosesaesthetic >> has left the conversation

  
  


Notavamp >> has added thespaqueen to the conversation

  
  


Thespaqueen > why am I back

 

Thespaqueen > wait why is Arthur fine 

 

Vikingking > get to us and just listen through the door

 

Thespaqueen > I'm still in the building, I'm coming up.

 

Notavamp > I know we really shouldn't be listening to this and all but the show’s about to begin

 

Thespaqueen > fine fine if you guys looked up from the phones you'd see I'm right here

 

Thespaqueen > why is this a show

 

Notavamp > just wait for Francis to burst in 3,

 

Notavamp > 2,

 

Notavamp > 1,

 

Iceicebby > I feel like we shouldn't be listening to this and I shouldn't be recording it

 

Vikingking > Emil turn the recording off

 

Iceicebby > fine 

 

Vikingking > Francis is getting softer act casual

 

Thespaqueen > oh

 

Thespaqueen > so just act natural

 

Vikingking > go for it

  
  


Notavamp >> added Love&rosesaesthetic to the conversation 

  
  


Love&rosesaesthetic > I don't even need to read the chat to know you guys we're listening… As per usual

 

Thespaqueen > well shit I heard you yelling because you were extremely loud but uh

 

Thespaqueen > did he even say anything

 

love&rosesaesthetic > not really, he just mumbled something and went silent again after that

 

Thespaqueen > yikes does he still look like he wants to kill you

 

love&rosesaesthetic > he looks dead inside… and more than he usually does on a really bad day. 

 

love&rosesaesthetic > so that’s a no

 

Vikingking > well I melted the ice so if you hear a thud he couldn’t even stand

 

Vikingking > and there’s the thud

 

Notavamp > so if he’s that weak and-- although he’s very much broken as of now-- sane, doesn’t that mean that Oli… well… went back to his version of normal?

 

Iceicebby > well that was quick

 

Thespaqueen > let's not talk about why

 

love&rosesaesthetic > ...fair enough

 

Notavamp > well in other news Romanian tour operators sold 25% more Christmas packages this year

 

Notavamp > has the subject been changed

 

Thespaqueen > it's an improvement

 

Vikingking > someone in my country added sex appeal to chess I think I beat you

 

Thespaqueen > yeah well!! according to my browser there are hot and horny singles in your area did I beat you both

 

love&rosesaesthetic > fuck in my country coffee is apparently the new wine I thiNK NOT

 

Iceicebby > if we’re just trying to keep our minds off of the terrible situation we’re in by reading internet news headlines

 

Vikingking > ‘Skam’ hailed for making Norwegian language cool

 

Vikingking > I can’t come up with this stuff how do they

 

Notavamp > we could be saying this outloud and cracking up but I’m not sure if we’re not bc of habit or Artie

  
Thespaqueen > yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so those are actual news headlines and I'm confused to say the least oh yeah and I guess Arthur's back


	73. In Which "Everything Goes to Hell" Works So Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idk whether to kill her. It's been too long. I've been listening to King Falls AM. And "Be More Chill". Can you believe I still have no life? It's time for me to stop. Also I'm an official member of the. Lord Of the Flies. Fandom now. I need to stop. It's time to stop. Mun Meta herself is telling me to stop.   
> Also?? Hi?? We exist?? Wow I'm so sorry for leaving so much. School is actual murder. - Mun Trash

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> added love&rosesaesthetic, vikingking, notavamp, 3catholic5u, thespaqueen, hungaryandhungary, and iceicebby to the conversation

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...I know I’m in no shape to talk to you all face to face, but I need to know. Everything seemed like a dream-- or a nightmare, really-- but is it true? 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I didn’t really… um… brutally slaughter Francis and almost Lukas, Vlad, and Emil as well, right…?

love&rosesaesthetic > you did

Vikingking > yep

Notavamp > definitely 

Iceicebby > basically

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > One more thing: I got a text from Seamus asking me to “get my ass to the hospital now” so what happened

Thespaqueen > you need to get to the hospital, just a hunch

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m leaving but can someone /please/ fill me in on what happened?

Hungaryandhungry > readthechats.jpg 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > oh dear. Oliver and the others really outdid themselves apparently.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I need to go

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> has left the conversation

 

Vikingking > well that can’t be good

Thespaqueen > he couldn’t even stay in the chat so it really must be

Thespaqueen > is Seamus actively in the chat

3catholic5u > Well I found his phone on the ground next to him, so that’s a no --Arthur

Thespaqueen > oh shit can you at least keep us posted on what's going on over there?

3catholic5u > Fair enough. Seamus hasn’t even noticed I’m next to him, Myrna is on a hospital bed with a stab wound that’s partly healed in a coma, there are doctors everywhere around us trying to wake her up and

Thespaqueen > and??

3catholic5u > sorry I had to leave for a bit, and I can’t say I have good news. There’s almost no chance she’s ever going to wake up, and, well, they’re thinking of cutting her life support. Seamus keeps asking for me to heal her, and I’m trying, but waking up someone from a coma? That’s extremely difficult any day, but in my current state it’s impossible

Iceicebby > and what if the whole group tried

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > something like this is purely elemental, so no fire or chaos magic is involved 

Vikingking > also for water/ice I had no idea that was even possible so I'm out of the question

Notavamp > it's been five minutes what's going on over there

Love&rosesaesthetic > Arthur? 

3catholic5u > she's getting worse

Vikingking > we’ll teleport everyone over

3catholic5u > get here fast, she doesn't have much time by the looks of it.

Thespaqueen > Do you think this kind of thing is happening for real this time?

3catholic5u > I sure as hell hope not. Can't we go one day without breaking someone, either physically, emotionally, or mentally? 

Thespaqueen > I'm sorry I shouldn't talk rn. I don't really know what else to say to be honest. I'm sorry

Vikingking > we’re all in the same position as you

Thespaqueen > would we be able to figure out ahead of time or would it be a bad idea to bring up a certain concept now

Thespaqueen > Can I bring up Oliver or

Thespaqueen > nevermind. It's insensitive at the moment 

3catholic5u > if it can distract us for a moment it's fine. Besides I barely know anything about him except he joined our side and apparently poisoned all of you. 

Thespaqueen > ..It was a bit of a rough patch, not gonna lie. But please don't brush off this idea right now.

Thespaqueen > the thing is, if you notice, most of our predicaments follow the same exact pattern. First we cause an issue, I get blamed, and it all rolls over smoothly until the next big thing comes along. They all follow the same pattern. And they all come almost unexpectedly.

Thespaqueen > do you think that could be applied here

Love&rosesaesthetic > well humans were never a part of that until now. What if it doesn't work here? 

Thespaqueen > here's the thing: we didn't cause the problem this time. It could work like a double negative.

Notavamp > well i brought them here, but I did that to help Andrei, and I had to help him bc they took him. It doesn't fall on us at all since they started it, so there's no way that would work

Thespaqueen > she's human, like I said, a possible double negative.

Vikingking > compared to every other human she is one of the lucky ones. She met us, she actually tolerated us and the other nations, and she's still alive currently-- not to mention the blatantly obvious fact that she got engaged to a nation

Thespaqueen > how does that make a difference?

Vikingking > well some humans believe in the science of luck, and she has pretty good odds

Thespaqueen > the point is, we’re all basically following the same pattern and it may or may not save her life rn I just wish there was someone else we could talk to about this besides this literal shitstorm of a groupchat

Thespaqueen > I'm waiting on this Deus Ex Machina here. I need to stop 

Love&rosesaesthetic > yeah our God is kind of a dick to us so

Thespaqueen > I swear I think this is basically a foolproof science

Thespaqueen > Ok not foolproof because someone's about to die

Thespaqueen > Ok not science I'm still waiting for god to descend from a platform in a theatre

Thespaqueen > And I can't swear on any of this

Vikingking > having Ivan here would help more than everything you just said

Thespaqueen > fuck you too.

Vikingking > I'll pass

Thespaqueen > Jesus. 

Thespaqueen > is it weird I'm asking you guys to put me in contact with actual lord and savior

Love&rosesaesthetic > wait do nations even have a Jesus figure or are we stuck with just our one shitty God 

Love&rosesaesthetic > come on you don't just appear in a mirror you need to be classy about it and not try to get someone to freaking threaten me

Thespaqueen > can anyone like send me any way to wager this idea holy shit Seamus I have a bad idea

3catholic5u > well he's an empty shell and I have his phone so what's the idea

Thespaqueen > give me Satan’s Skype name

3catholic5u > ADELA

3catholic5u > HES SATAN

3catholic5u > ARE YOU PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU'RE WRITING

Thespaqueen > ehem.

Thespaqueen > on second thought, I too would rather let her die in front of us. Right now. What ever was I thinking.

3catholic5u > ok fair point but he joins the chat here. 

Love&rosesaesthetic > when have these ideas not gotten someone killed? 

Thespaqueen > honestly it doesn't matter as long as it isn't someone mortal all is fair in literally everything that has to do with anything nations do.  
I may randomly hang up go charge it I gtg anyways soon ok lemme like  
Love&rosesaesthetic > …so what's his username

3catholic5u > it's slammingyourtoe_official which makes so much sense 

 

3catholic5u >> added slammingyourtoe_official to the conversation

slammingyourtoe_official > wait seriously you actually added me for once

slammingyourtoe_official > ...oh. You need something. Of course. 

Thespaqueen > We wish it was just to talk to you sir. But someonE wants to keep it formal. And this is kinda desperate.

slammingyourtoe_official > I don't feel like reading the chat so tell me

Thespaqueen > well I want to make a bet. You see, our friend here is on the verge of death. Our.. mortal friend.

slammingyourtoe_official > oh, so we're just gonna work off the stereotype that I like to gamble? 

Thespaqueen > not initially, but all stereotypes come from somewhere. 

slammingyourtoe_official > I just wanted to see if I could get an actual reaction out of you guys bc they're completely true. 

Thespaqueen > figures. Look, just read a brief amount above if you want an explanation. It's on what I found exactly as a topic of discussion.

slammingyourtoe_official > read it. Even though it's sad and all for you, it's completely normal. Anyways what's the bet I've had a dull week

Thespaqueen > if you win.. hm. Ok well who's soul are we sacrificing first? Francis?? Oh what about Vlad?? Being snarky cunts earlier really catching up on you now

Thespaqueen > ok no but what do you want as a prize if.. you win?

slammingyourtoe_official > you haven't even said what we're betting ON

Thespaqueen > well I mean I wanted to lock you into a deal first but you're smart sO

Thespaqueen > look what we’re betting over is Myrna’s soul. The one who's dying rn

Thespaqueen > she's been hanging with us for a while so she's corrupted anyways idk why you even want her but

Thespaqueen > look if we win she gets to live and later on we can have a discussion about possible immortality for our friend.

Thespaqueen > if we lose.. what do you want?

slammingyourtoe_official > well I would have given you the soul if you asked since it's less work for me, but now you have a bet to win

slammingyourtoe_official > if I win, one of you gets replaced with someone else from your country. 

Thespaqueen > Jesus Christ 

Thespaqueen > Wait we lived for like millions of years. Can we go into the technically of how aging would work?

Thespaqueen > no? Ok.

slammingyourtoe_official > lets take you for example you look 16-ish, so next year you'd be 17, then 18, and so on. The other guy gets all the political memories but none of your own. 

Thespaqueen > wait so the wager is basically one of us either helps a friend or has the gift of finally being able to live normally

Thespaqueen > nice ok well who’s volunteering 

slammingyourtoe_official > I didn't say that. You'll remember everything, but no one will have the time to remember you. That includes Hungary I believe. And every other nation. 

Thespaqueen > speaking of, where even is she

Thespaqueen > oh wait that sounds actually kinda bad oop 

Thespaqueen > fine, who here has literally nothing to live for? Oh, Arthur

3catholic5u > fuck off - Arthur

3catholic5u > well I was going to volunteer but fuck off

Thespaqueen > I wish I could say I was sorry. Here are the terms of the bet: you have to think, applying to the logic of the pattern I found, any way she can't live.

Thespaqueen > if I can't dispute it, you win.

Thespaqueen > honestly I thought you were gonna take something like all of our immortal souls or take away our bodies or something I didn't think you actually wanted to ruin stuff for us come on now

slammingyourtoe_official > dude

slammingyourtoe_official > I'm Satan? 

slammingyourtoe_official > overlord of punishment?

slammingyourtoe_official > the guy that’s supposed to have demonic goats as pets?


	74. In Which It Was Called Satan Drama In The Google Doc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just,, satan drama.

Thespaqueen >> added slammingyourtoe_official to the conversation

  
  


slammingyourtoe_official > you know, i went into this chat expecting a good wager about someone who matters, but then I hear that I'm really here to solve a puzzle or grant immortality 

 

slammingyourtoe_official > and possibly take away someone's immortality

 

Thespaqueen > ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I really just kinda need confirmation that the human deserves to live and this seemed like the best way to do it

 

Thespaqueen > I'm acting calm but there's someone dying in front of me so let's try to hurry this up, ok?

 

slammingyourtoe_official > well despite hanging around you guys for whatever reason, she never lost hope, so she's cool. 

 

slammingyourtoe_official > also it's alright if I do this every century or so to confuse everyone else

 

Thespaqueen > ..is it though??

 

slammingyourtoe_official > the worst that's ever happened is me getting an angry letter from some random demon saying he was looking forward to meeting them. Pretty sure he quit last week so it's all fine

 

Thespaqueen > can we get on with this so everything can go back to normal and Seamus can not be really sad during every groupchat we have

 

slammingyourtoe_official > sure, but when I win do I take the sad one’s immortality or the guy that volunteered? 

 

Thespaqueen > no reason to worry about either

 

Thespaqueen > honestly this is boring,

 

Thespaqueen > if I would have known you just like these kinds of things I would've scheduled a drinking contest

 

slammingyourtoe_official > i can't even get drunk so thats a bad idea in your part

 

Thespaqueen > I bet I could still down more in a sitting. Not the point. Let's get on with this already

 

slammingyourtoe_official > so your logic is that something bad happens, the blame falls on you, it gets a bit worse, there arguing and more blaming you, and then it blows over without ever really getting resolved? Ish? 

 

Thespaqueen > either way that fits the trope bc if it blows over in general and we don't bring it up, it's technically a resolved conflict.

 

slammingyourtoe_official > but if I decide to take the English guy’s immortality then it'll only blow over for most of you, and the blame can't be placed on you because you didn't get her injured in the first place

 

Thespaqueen > well you never said anything about mortality, only resolution. We never included the complete list of people included in that set resolution. And the blame would be placed on me, for losing this thing.

 

slammingyourtoe_official > I'm not talking about mortality, but more so immortality. So the Irish guy got engaged to her, right? And she's known him her entire life? I doubt you can get over something like that in a few centuries when you couldn't do anything to stop it. 

 

slammingyourtoe_official > AND ANOTHER THING

 

slammingyourtoe_official > if you did win this, that disproves the trope as well. It got worse then truly resolves without getting blown over

 

Thespaqueen > 1\. This would only apply if I lost, and although it wouldn't be easy to forget there have been cases in history where nations have come to peace with this (such as Arthur and queen Elizabeth). They even stated themselves that they were aware and ok with the fact that one day she was going to pass. 2. Although you're nitpicking at word choice, I can see roughly where you're coming from. Still, there have been times where the problem has been actually resolved and still fit the trope, such as the small incident with Emil and Leon (you can hardly call that a major issue but it does fit in with the trope so it should technically count)

 

Thespaqueen > Jesus I never thought I'd be using this hellhole of a groupchat to save a life

 

Thespaqueen > is this the point of law I'm feeling kind of high

 

slammingyourtoe_official > ...funny

 

slammingyourtoe_official > anyways I got nothing else but im a goddamned divinity i do what I want

 

Thespaqueen > we had a deal and I'm almost sure that since the bet was two-sided we’re gonna get what we agreed on?

 

slammingyourtoe_official > …geez i was just trying to get a decent reaction

 

thespaqueen > I mean you are Satan it's easy to expect everything

 

slammingyourtoe_official > wow, great job assuming every little thing about me. Well for the record the immortality thing will kick in soon, maybe in a minute, and just because you didnt know I happen to have a doG AND HIS NAME IS JEFFREY AND HES AMAZING

 

Thespaqueen > …Congratulations?

 

slammingyourtoe_official > AND IT'S NOT THE THREE HEADED ONE HE'S SMALL AND ADORABLE AND THE BEST KIND OF DOG HE'S A GOOD BOY

 

Thespaqueen > again, congratulations? I still don't know what this has to do with anything

 

Thespaqueen > OH SHE JUST JOLTED UPRIGHT AND IS COMPLAINING ABOUT A MINOR PAIN IN HER SIDE OK WELL

 

Thespaqueen > it's a stab wound. I don't think she realizes, it's a stab wound. She looked down. Fuck I am so ready to be blamed

 

Thespaqueen > thanks Satan. Oh also there's something I always wanted to say to you

 

slammingyourtoe_official > not again. 

 

Thespaqueen > not today Satan, not today.

 

slammingyourtoe_official > Satan out

  
  


slammingyourtoe_official >> has left the conversation

  
  


Thespaqueen >> added draconianbanshee, 3catholic5u, eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, love&rosesaesthetic, vikingking, iceicebby, hungaryandhungry, and notavamp to the conversation

  
  


Thespaqueen > I did a thing

 

Love&rosesaesthetic > he never sent a picture of the dog though

 

Thespaqueen > I just saved someone's life and you're complaining about Satan’s dog

 

Thespaqueen > well welcome back to this piece of shit chat

 

Draconianbanshee > how long was I asleep? Few hours? 

 

Thespaqueen > we can go with that I don't think it'll really matter now

 

Thespaqueen > if you read above the chat, you can see a few things are gonna change

 

Thespaqueen > one. I did a thing. I feel like a lawyer. I felt my life flash before my eyes. Two, Satan has two loving doggo bodies and 4 doggo heads. Three, Myrna you’re immortal now have fun and try not to see too much too quickly. It gets old after a while.

 

Draconianbanshee > wait what

 

Draconianbanshee > so I get told by a doctor I've been in a coma with a stab wound for a few weeks and now I have immortality

 

Draconianbanshee > and Satan has a Skype account

 

Draconianbanshee > seems legit

 

Thespaqueen > I love how you wake up from nearly flatlining and the first thing you do is pick up your phone

 

Draconianbanshee > well it's a habit and I can see three of you in the window on the door texting so just open it,, please,, it's less awkward,, 

 

3catholic5u > GUYS

 

3catholic5u > Myrna’s alive and you’re texting??

 

3catholic5u > put that into perspective!

  
love&rosesaesthetic > geez

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK SORRY THAT WE NEVER UPLOAD ANYMORE. School has been insane lately, Mun Trash is fawning over her semi-new girlfriend (the actual ship guys /not the muns/) and I've been trying to get myself a girlfriend.


	75. In Which TheLegend27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well that's a misleading title

Draconianbanshee >> added thespaqueen to the conversation

  
  


Draconianbanshee > ...did you really think this through?

 

Draconianbanshee > I read the chat you had with, erm, satan, and I don’t blame you. Or anyone.

 

Draconianbanshee > but what exactly were the terms and conditions of the whole immortality thing?

 

Thespaqueen > I saved your life what terms and conditions no one reads the terms and conditions

 

Thespaqueen > You just go with it. New spyware on your phone? Oops. New  self-destruct feature on your phone? Oops.

 

Draconianbanshee > well, yeah

 

Draconianbanshee > thanks for saving my life and all, but can we think this through? (musical reference intended)

 

Draconianbanshee > ...what about the people I know?

 

Thespaqueen > I don’t know why are you asking me

 

Draconianbanshee > …it just sorta made sense to ask you?

 

Thespaqueen > It didn’t really come up to discuss the terms and conditions of immortality while Satan resurrects and gives a human immortALITY

 

Draconianbanshee > wait aM I EVEN CONSIDERED HUMAN ANYMORE

 

Thespaqueen > mm. No. not really no. not at your question but

 

Thespaqueen > mm. Mmhmm. No. Not today. No thank you.

 

Thespaqueen > not alone. We should drink away our problems. Mmhm. not today. No

 

Thespaqueen > I’m good. No. Im. no. Nah I’m. no thank you. 

 

Thespaqueen > no. I’m no. I’m no I’m. I’m good. No. Im. No, not today.

 

Draconianbanshee > fine.

  
  


Draconianbanshee >> added 3catholic5u, eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, notavamp, vikingking, hungaryandhungary, thefabulouspolska, love&rosesaesthetic, iceicebby and mybrothersavampire to the conversation

  
  


Draconianbanshee > I NEED ANSWERS

 

Notavamp > nope

  
  


Notavamp >> left the conversation

  
  


Draconianbanshee >> added notavamp to the conversation

  
  


Draconianbanshee > YEP

 

Thefabulouspolska > Oh hi. You’re back. Had fun not including me for the 2845907123501238742357162357263582pp2887234914358265236529476847834829874723084563467567340453864036852608389023643558907569598564903249089324896089758796478954489734238904982478309834952338219583240868953856853289065th time

 

Thespaqueen > for good reason ok someone died

 

Vikingking > yeah apparently not

 

Thefabulouspolska > and?

 

Thespaqueen > We have a new immortal [Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair with purple streaks and red tips (that’s how I got my name) and ice blue eyes like limpid tears]

 

Draconianbanshee > HAVE ANY OF YOU DEALT WITH THIS SORT OF THING

 

Iceicebby > Immortality or terms and conditions?

 

Iceicebby > either way we didn’t read them lmao they came pre-downloaded

 

Iceicebby > Just came with the software you know

 

Draconianbanshee > ok, but what if the world ends and you guys and everyone else in the world dies, would I just be doomed forever?

 

Thespaqueen > Can I leave like

 

Thespaqueen > Im gonna go to like

 

Thespaqueen > grab some coffee. And not come back

 

Draconianbanshee > no no no you stay

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > so I’m just gonna go then

 

Draconianbanshee > no no no you definately stay

 

love&rosesaesthetic > so we’re all stuck until we figure this out…?

 

Draconianbanshee > I have an eternity. I can wait.

 

Thespaqueen > Oh but can my phone bc like

 

Thespaqueen > I’m on one percent Im just gonna shuffle out of here

 

Hungaryandhungry > She’s at 93% and we have a charger right next to us.

 

Thespaqueen > sHuT

 

Vikingking > to make it as detailed as possible,

 

Vikingking > you’re not human and we have no idea what’ll happen to you when the world ends.

 

Draconianbanshee > ...wonderful

 

Notavamp > ...you’re usually more blunt than that

 

Vikingking > and your point is?

 

Notavamp > yeah I got nothing. Carry on.

 

love&rosesaesthetic > Jesus Christ

 

Draconianbanshee > SO I CAN OUTLIVE SEAMUS

 

3catholic5u > ...oh dear

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > so THAT'S when you decide to join us

 

Thespaqueen > *us.

 

love&rosesaesthetic > *So

 

Iceicebby > *.

 

Mybrothersavampire > *.

 

Vikingking > *that’s

 

Hungaryandhungry > *So that’s when you decide to join us. [Even that’s kinda a fragment, bud]

 

Draconianbanshee > should there be a comma between “so” and “that’s” or does it not apply in this case?

 

Notavamp > ...what happened to the whole immortality thing??

 

Thespaqueen > When are our chats ever serious we’re talking about the rules of being immortal. We’re all immortal. This is not a big deal.

 

3catholic5u > this is a big deal

 

Thespaqueen > This is not a big deal whatsoever

 

3catholic5u > this *is* a big deal

 

Thespaqueen > How

 

3catholic5u > this isn’t a matter of life and death, it’s a matter of liFE AND ONLY LIFE FOREVER

 

love&rosesaesthetic > so sort of a big deal?

 

Thespaqueen > meh

 

Hungaryandhungry > remove her

 

Thespaqueen > literally I hate you so much

 

Hungaryandhungry > that’s not what you said last night

 

Thespaqueen > actually fuck you

 

Hungaryandhungry > I know

 

Thefabulouspolska > blocked. blocked. blocked. Youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin

 

Draconianbanshee > and that’s also what I’m getting at

 

Draconianbanshee > I mean, you guys have murdered and/or done worse things to people (I’m looking at you Artie) so

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > THATS IT IM GONE I THOUGHT I LIKED YOU BUT NOOOOO

  
  


eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> has left the conversation 

  
  


Thespaqueen > *That’s it. I’m going; I thought I liked you, but no.

  
  


love&rosesaesthetic >> added eyebrow&sconeaesthetic to the conversation

  
  


eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > never. Again.

 

Notavamp > *Never again.

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Fuck off, Vlad.

 

Thespaqueen > I mean..Should I bring this running meme back or

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > NO

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > NO

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > NO

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > NO

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > NO

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > NO

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > NO

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > NO

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > NO

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > NO

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > And finally, no.

 

Thespaqueen > nononono nonononononononono mr Johnson I got your security deposit its locked in a box in the bottom of my closet,

 

Thespaqueen > we’re a mess

 

Hungaryandhungry > *you’re

 

Thespaqueen > Why are you here

 

Draconianbanshee > this is going better than expected to be honest and I don’t know if that says more about you guys or me

 

Draconianbanshee > but anyways,,

 

Draconianbanshee > the point about artie’s whole… ‘episode’ still stands

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > To quote a colleague of mine,

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > “What the frick frack diddily dack patty wack snick snack crack pack slack mack quarterback crackerjack biofeedback backtrack thumbtack sidetrack tic-tack is wrong with you people”

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Word for word, I can’t paraphrase that.

 

Thespaqueen > Who the fresh hell are your colleagues, the writers of buzzfeed?

 

Thespaqueen > the creators of the urban dictionary?

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Alfred.

 

Mybrothersavampire > ok so I know this led to problems beforehand but I’m streaming this and interacting with people and

 

Mybrothersavampire > there is this one person who just keeps commenting

 

Iceicebby > Is it thelegend27?

 

Notavamp > you know, they say that thelegend27 was the first person to ever comment on both a video /and/ a livestream

 

love&rosesaesthetic > born from 4chan

 

Thefabulouspolska > I heard the legend27 can hurl spam comments faster than a meme account

 

Notavamp > I heard TheLegend27 once defeated an entire stream of sjw comments with one word

 

Hungaryandhungry > But the worst part is, just when you think you're safe, just when you think you might escape…

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > *insert youtube notification here* WHAM! JUST LIKE THAT!

 

3catholic5u > *collective gasps*

 

3catholic5u > TheLegend27 just refuted my definitely factual comment!

 

Thespaqueen > Mine too!

 

Draconianbanshee > I doubt it’s that bad

 

Thespaqueen > You have no idea what just happened!

 

Draconianbanshee > I think I might have some idea

 

Draconianbanshee > *Seamus then turns around (not me, surprise surprise) to reveal that he is TheLegend27™™™™™™™™™™™™™™*

 

3catholic5u > my secret’s out

 

Vikingking > so about the immortality crisis

 

Draconianbanshee > ^^^^^^^

 

Mybrothersavampire > no, the person’s name is OliviaKirkland?? There’s a few others too. LukaDeTrolla, fardreamer333, Audrey, there are so many others. It’s so overwhelming so many people actually watch this crap. We have 100+ people viewing

 

Draconianbanshee > tell them we say thank you…?

 

Mybrothersavampire > they’re reading this, along with my commentary from a mic. So,, thank you guys so much??

**Draconianbanshee > NOW ABOUT THE ACTUAL TOPIC,, **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...do we have the power to shout people out now?" -Mun Trash 2k17
> 
> this was great


	76. In Which Classical Music and Caviar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we have periods of non-existence but hey

Vikingking > wait wait I’m gonna go

 

Notavamp > don’t say it

 

Notavamp > no don’t

 

Vikingking > Its about to play

 

Notavamp > NOR ITS BEEN ON FOR THE LAST HOUR

 

Notavamp > L U K A S  N O

 

Thespaqueen > is this some weird roleplay kink you guys have I

 

Thespaqueen > why this at 4 AM

 

Thespaqueen > incognito tabs exist for a reason

 

Thespaqueen > use protection

 

Notavamp > nO ITS WORSE

 

Notavamp > OK SO YOU KNOW HOW LUKAS REALLY LIKES THAT ONE GODDAMN MOVIE

 

Notavamp > THE ONE HE ALWAYS SINGS TO

 

Notavamp > WELL HE’S AT MY HOUSE AND BELTING LET IT GO

 

Notavamp > H E L P

 

Vikingking > YOU JOINED

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Is this adorable or just... sad?

 

Thespaqueen > they’re sad, it’s adorable how pathetic they are

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...Well said.

 

Hungaryandhungry > she’s talking about pathetic but she wakes up in the dead of night to text you guys and then gives me dirty looks when I tell her to go to sleep

 

Thefabulouspolska > I don’t remember you moving in here, I actually don’t even remember you coming in. Actually, I thought I heard rattling in the window at about two,,

 

Thefabulouspolska > in a hurry weren’t we

 

Hungaryandhungry > How are we friends

 

Thefabulouspolska > I really don’t know

 

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > You might as well leave that window open at this point. It'll cause less noise every night. 

 

Thefabulouspolska > how would that

 

Thefabulouspolska > oH

 

Thefabulouspolska > O H  O K

 

Mybrothersavampire > ;)

 

Notavamp > you're practically 5 why are you still here

 

Draconianbanshee > better question

 

Draconianbanshee > did nor stop singing yet? 

 

Notavamp > I think it's the last note. Maybe. 

 

Vikingking > sadly

 

Thespaqueen > start it up again

 

Vikingking > it's on YouTube repeat

 

notavamp > oh dear

 

Notavamp > can you at least play the second song maybe??? 

 

Vikingking > …sure

 

notavamp > THE WINDOW IS OPEN SO’S THAT DOOR

 

vikingking > I DIDNT KNOW THEY DID THAT ANYMORE

 

Thespaqueen > W H O  K N E W  W E  O W N E D  A T H O U S A N D  S A L A D  P L A T E S

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well that’s just dripping with sarcasm

 

love&rosesaesthetic > I feel so sorry for the rest of scandinavia that needs to listen to you every day

 

Thespaqueen > tough words from you honestly like we have to listen to your unbearable accent every day its sad

 

love&rosesaesthetic > YOU ALL HAVE UNBEARABLE ACCENTS

 

love&rosesaesthetic > ALL OF YOU

 

love&rosesaesthetic > except England his accent is decent. Borderline decent.

 

3catholic5u > is no one going to make the joke??

 

Hungaryandhungry > ehem

 

Hungaryandhungry > that’s not what you said last night??

 

Thespaqueen > and you would know??

 

love&rosesaesthetic > its not like he does anything extraordinary anyways

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...very mature, Francis. I’d expect nothing less than that from you.

 

Notavamp > MOLDOVA IS STILL HERE

 

Thespaqueen > protect the children, oh no,

 

Thespaqueen > the ones who you let be here in the first place

 

Notavamp > …stop

 

Thespaqueen > you're a really bad guardian like there is an impressionable youth in this chat why 

 

Notavamp > what do you want me to do? Play classical music and teach him abt the different types of caviar??

 

Thespaqueen

 

> sure you know what I'm gonna enroll him into some stupid school to teach boys how to be good little stuck up children

 

Notavamp > Moldova is fine,, he's /my/ brother,, you can't do shit to him,, I will find you,, and I will kill you,, 

 

Thespaqueen > It's the shit you didn't do that's making him so terrible

 

Mybrothersavampire > can we get a like goal of 56 billion to send me to boarding school?

 

Thespaqueen > you're lucky if you get 56. You hit 560 and we’ll send you to boarding school

 

Notavamp > OK as the erm standing guardian of MY brother he isn't going anywhere

 

Thespaqueen > don't worry he won't even get past half that

 

Mybrothersavampire > that's ridiculous

 

Notavamp > OK your account is taking off don't worry

 

Notavamp > but it's not at 560 likes

 

Notavamp > sorry bro

 

Mybrothersavampire > I'm happy with this amount and I'm nOt going to boarding school

 

Notavamp > I know you're nOt

 

Draconianbanshee > how did it get to this

 

Vikingking > not sure. Time is weird. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I swear if you write some stupid note I will fight you. I will fight you." --Mun Trash right before this was posted. I thought it was fitting.


	77. In Which He's Not Gay??

Thespaqueen > No reason in particular, but questions for Moldova: height, weight, t-shirt size

 

Thespaqueen > asking for no specific purpose

 

Notavamp > so I looked at the video

 

Notavamp > czech,, no.

 

Thespaqueen > So about boarding school

 

Mybrothersavampire > Hwat the fcUK

 

Thespaqueen > not only is he swearing, he’s spelling the words incorrectly. You ought to be ashamed.

 

Notavamp > I tauGHT MY BROtheR HoW TO sPELL

 

Notavamp > HE HAS PRIVAtE TUTORS HE’S FINE

 

Thespaqueen > you yourself and who else would that be?

 

Notavamp > PEOPLE SMARTER THAN THE LIKES OF   Y O U   P E O P L E

 

Thespaqueen > I just.

 

Thespaqueen > My ideas aren’t that bad are they

 

Notavamp > I mean the group as a whole

 

Notavamp > y’all are idiots

 

Notavamp > just saying

 

Thespaqueen > fite me

 

Hungaryandhungry > don’t she’s short just step on her

 

Thespaqueen > WHY ARE WE TOGETHER

 

Notavamp > if I singed your hair I’d win

 

Thespaqueen > no, I worked hard on the side braids :^((

 

Notavamp > anyways,,

 

Thespaqueen > So in short I prank called this boarding school like five times and they told me to fuck off and fill out a form on their website

 

Thespaqueen > I finished enrolling him and I have the money ready but,,, tshirt size

 

Thespaqueen > Im just gonna send all of us in a trench coat

 

Notavamp > I watched legally blonde I got this

 

Notavamp > Ok so uh since I’m his legal guardian and all and you’re a fucking twat you can’t enroll him without my permission

 

Thespaqueen > Live? They don’t have it in Romania currently.

 

Thespaqueen > Are you saying you watched it… illegally? Illegally blonde coming to a theatre near you

 

Notavamp > it was on youtube

 

Vikingking > I sent it to him

 

Thespaqueen > Partners in crime,,,,

 

Thespaqueen > Certainly not the best you can be, considering you actually committed a crime

 

Notavamp > EVERYONE IN THIS CHAT HAS COMMITTED MURDER THIS IS N O T H I N G

 

Thespaqueen > It doesn’t count if it’s other countries because we stand outside the law

 

Thespaqueen > Then again, bootlegging technically isn’t a crime for us is it?

 

Notavamp > huh

 

Vikingking > It’s not breaking the law if it’s just rude

 

Thespaqueen > Oh thank god

 

Thefabulouspolska > You aren’t “just” rude

 

Vikingking > thanks for noticing 

 

Vikingking > you know, I thought my efforts had gone to waste,,

 

Draconianbanshee > wait wait so murder is… ok??

 

3catholic5u > nO murder is not ok

 

Draconianbanshee > seamus you’re freaking out I’m kidding

 

Draconianbanshee > you gave the table a deathgrip

 

Draconianbanshee > calm down

 

Iceicebby > The chat strikes again,

 

Iceicebby > another peaceful family dinner ruined

 

3catholic5u > ok so at my house there is NEVER a peaceful dinner 

 

3catholic5u > and geez doesn’t anyone play cards anymore

 

Thespaqueen > No you fcuking nerd

 

Thespaqueen > What are you fucking gay no one plays cards

 

3catholic5u > why did everyone think that???

 

Thespaqueen > It’s a joke.

 

Draconianbanshee > well I mean,, when we first met,, uh

 

Draconianbanshee > sorry bud I see what they’re getting at

 

3catholic5u > betrayal

 

Thespaqueen > honesty isn't betrayal wouldn't you rather know

 

3catholic5u > noT what I meant

 

Thespaqueen > well I mean 

 

Thespaqueen > good for her tho

 

Draconianbanshee > well yeah but you guys see what I’m getting at

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > First off everyone else in his house is gay so it would make sense, 

 

love&rosesaesthetic > almost all the nations /are/ gay,

 

Iceicebby > He just,,,,,,,, ok well he plays cards doesn't that count 

 

Draconianbanshee > wait wait how does playing cards make you gay

 

Iceicebby > well we already established

 

Thespaqueen > wait didn't you tell me you two met at pride or something

 

Draconianbanshee > where did you get that story from

 

3catholic5u > yeah I don’t follow

 

3catholic5u > I told you guys??

 

3catholic5u > yeah it was ages ago but you people never delete chats??

 

Thespaqueen > yeah well I mean like a while ago we had a drinking contest or something and you went on about meeting a friend at pride and you went on and on

 

3catholic5u > ...I did?

 

Thespaqueen > I thought you were just drunk but apparently 

 

Thespaqueen > you guys are engaged now

 

Draconianbanshee > yeah we noticed

 

Thespaqueen > ok first of all rood 

 

Draconianbanshee > aw thanks

  
Notavamp > fight fight fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3catholic5u > and geez doesn’t anyone play cards anymore
> 
> Thespaqueen > No you fcuking nerd
> 
> Thespaqueen > What are you fucking gay no one plays cards
> 
> 3catholic5u > why did everyone think that???
> 
> Thespaqueen > It’s a joke.
> 
> Draconianbanshee > well I mean,, when we first met,, uh
> 
> Draconianbanshee > sorry bud I see what they’re getting at
> 
> 3catholic5u > betrayal
> 
> ^^^my life story right there, it just ends in a different way


	78. In Which Read The Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title will make sense I swear

Mybrothersavampire >> added thespaqueen, notavamp, vikingking, hungaryandhungry, eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, love&rosesaesthetic, iceicebby, draconianbanshee, 3catholic5u, and thefabulouspolska to the conversation

  
  


Mybrothersavampire > the stream is up

 

Notavamp > I’m going to find a way to delete your account

 

Mybrothersavampire > try,, I have government grade security 

 

Mybrothersavampire > oh waiT

 

Mybrothersavampire > anyways I gathered you all here today to thank you for signing me up for school and I'm going back

 

Thespaqueen > wait you actually went

 

Mybrothersavampire > well yeah

 

Notavamp > wait hold up you actually went

 

Mybrothersavampire > well… yeah

 

Notavamp > hecK

 

Mybrothersavampire > and I'm going back again

 

Mybrothersavampire > I guess I like learning stuff

 

Mybrothersavampire > so

 

Mybrothersavampire > yeah

 

Notavamp > huh

 

Notavamp > its about a guy isn’t it

 

Mybrothersavampire > no why would it be

 

Mybrothersavampire > I have a passion for learning and education to better myself

 

Notavamp > thats what you said the last five times then came home a week later saying he broke up with you and you demanded to change schools

 

Notavamp > so to shut you up 

 

Mybrothersavampire > yeah but this is a different school and it's 2017 and this isn't about a boy

 

Thefabulouspolska > ginger? Blond? Brunette?

 

Mybrothersavampire > shut up 

 

Notavamp > it was a blonde the first 2 times then a ginger the next 3, so I’m thinking ginger

 

Mybrothersavampire > shhhhhhh ok it's not a guy

 

Thespaqueen > a girl?

 

Mybrothersavampire > Ha ew?

 

Notavamp > whats his name?

 

Mybrothersavampire > ITS NOT A GUY WHY DO YOU THINK OF ME LIKE THIS

 

Notavamp > well if it isn’t a girl and you’re a terrible liar then what’s his name

 

Mybrothersavampire > shh

 

Notavamp > I’m your brother I deserve to know

 

Mybrothersavampire > you'll make me look like an idiot like always

 

Thespaqueen > he won't be doing anything much trust me

 

Mybrothersavampire > lord

 

Notavamp > I won’t do anything unless he hurts you more than the others

 

Notavamp > if he does I’ll pay the funeral expenses

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > what the hell vlad

 

Vikingking > ^^^

 

Mybrothersavampire > you're embarrassing me now

 

Thespaqueen > he's watching now isn't he

 

Mybrothersavampire > shuT

 

Notavamp > is he?

 

Mybrothersavampire > possibly

 

Mybrothersavampire > but the cool part: there are currently twenty kids from the school watching this now. Now which is it

 

Thespaqueen > yikes, their parents let them? Shouldnt they be learning which salad fork to use or something

 

Notavamp > it isn’t that kind of school, is it?

 

Thespaqueen > absolutely, only the finest shit for your brother

 

Mybrothersavampire > lord

 

Thespaqueen > I'm just saying

 

Thespaqueen > so which one is it 

 

love&rosesaesthetic > quick question

 

love&rosesaesthetic > what the /hell/ is going on here

 

love&rosesaesthetic > you’ve been there one day and 20 kids found your youtube account?

 

Mybrothersavampire > a few of them already watch my streams and during lunch I showed the other ones my acc 

 

Mybrothersavampire > they thought it was cool idk I almost died so many times in this chat and it's all been livestreamed 

 

Draconianbanshee > as long as no one believes it

 

Mybrothersavampire > it's p farfetched either way,, and they're watching so I'm just gonna verify it's all false

 

Mybrothersavampire > you didn't believe it first until the thing and the thing happened and then the other thing and now you're alive

 

Draconianbanshee > yes but in between that thing and the other thing, and not to mention /that thing/,,

 

Mybrothersavampire > right

 

Mybrothersavampire > ok so I’ll take some questions from the chat. when are Myrna and Seamus getting married 

 

Mybrothersavampire > or more exact, “When is the Irish wedding thing”

 

Draconianbanshee > in 7 months

 

Draconianbanshee > it was the easiest day when keeping in mind politics, the church, enough time for invitations to be sent out, national events everyone needs to attend to, confrences, and uh shopping for stuff and things

 

3catholic5u > exactly, but as the saying goes, time is weird.

 

3catholic5u > it’ll feel sooner

 

Mybrothersavampire > lovely. “When are you and the boy-

 

Mybrothersavampire > next question

 

Mybrothersavampire > “Are you going to ruin that poor boy’s life by making him immortal”

 

Mybrothersavampire > leave me alone ok I'm like two

 

Notavamp > *10-ish

 

Notavamp > age is weird

 

Mybrothersavampire > you're 10-ish ok I feel attacked

 

Notavamp > you’re the one that looks younger I’m trying to help

 

Mybrothersavampire > how old did you put me down on registration

 

Thespaqueen > I said you were never born but rather your energy always existed in some shape or form

 

Notavamp > so instead of being immortal he reincarnates 

 

Notavamp > neat

 

Thespaqueen > they didn't have Immortal as an option :\

 

Mybrothersavampire > moving on, “who is-

 

Mybrothersavampire > Feliks that's cheating you're actually part of the chat

 

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Are there any important questions left? 

 

Vikingking > are there any at all? 

 

Love&rosesaesthetic > well I'm checking the stream and someone said the characters are one-dimensional

 

Love&rosesaesthetic > if only they knew

 

Thespaqueen > better they don't

 

Mybrothersavampire > Here's a good one: when did the “England is a rapist” meme start

 

Thespaqueen > I CAN HANDLE THIS ONE

  
  


Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> has removed thespaqueen from the conversation

  
  


Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > neXT QUESTION

 

Hungaryandhungry > I'm right here - czech

 

Hungaryandhungry > fcuk you - Czech

 

Hungaryandhungry > help me she's trying to take my phone this is your fault

 

Hungaryandhungry > well the meme started p far back if you started the chat earlier but we can catch you up quickly: England is a bad person and I can show you a map of every place he captured in the world - Czechia 

  
  


Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic >> has removed hungaryandhungary from the conversation

  
  


Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > anYWAYS NEXT QUESTION 

 

Mybrothersavampire > sure thing, “so which one of us-

 

Mybrothersavampire > leave me alone this is cyber bullying 

 

Mybrothersavampire > I'm closing questions ok this is why we can't have nice things

 

Vikingking > no no

 

Vikingking > find a different one

 

Mybrothersavampire > are all of you just enjoying my misery

 

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I think I found the perfect closing question:

 

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > “are all of you people really that gay?”

 

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Yes. Yes we are. 

 

3catholic5u > almost all

  
Draconianbanshee > ^^^^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the muns decided that we can use Moldova's stream to our advantage. If there are any questions you have we'll answer them as best we can in-chat. Bam, interactive fan fiction.


	79. In Which Best Guys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank to Audrey for the wedding idea thing and also,,, Moldova's crush thing. Audrey is 10/10. And Here ya go, an argument we've all been waiting for.

3catholic5u >> added eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, nessieisreal, little.sheepish, and gottagobelfast to the conversation

 

3catholic5u > so uh

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Seamus, bringing your entire family into one chat never ends well.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Choose your next words carefully before we get the crowbar again

Nessieisreal > I for one am happy that he includes us for once,,,,

Nessieisreal > in a chat by ourselves with just the five of us because he’s embarrassed

3catholic5u > nope I just want to have a contained argument that's all

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > oh god

3catholic5u > so about the wedding…

Nessieisreal > you don’t even pick up your underwear in the morning how can you provide for two people??

3catholic5u > NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT

3catholic5u > erm

3catholic5u > i need a best man and i’m stumped

Nessieisreal > why are you stumped

Nessieisreal > I’m right here

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > So am I.

3catholic5u > thiS is why

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well, out of everyone here-- besides you of course-- I know Myrna best.

Gottagobelfast > Well I looks exactly like her, so maybe I should dress up as a guy and 

Gottagobelfast > be the best man whos not a man

Gottagobelfast > #feminism #isthisbaitenough #killthepatriarchy #amidoingthisright

3catholic5u > what in hell

3catholic5u > nevermind

3catholic5u > apparently Wales has either abandoned us or made popcorn bc the house smells burnt

Little.sheepish > do not judge me,

Little.sheepish > but I will burn everything in your room if I don’t get to be the best man

3catholic5u > well moving right along that leaves our two main contestants who hopefully won’t burn down the house of murder someone for the spot,,,

3catholic5u > drumroll please,,,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...Me?

Nessieisreal > No dumbass

Nessieisreal > Imean,,,, buddy, bro,,,, dude,,,,,,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Funny, I thought it was obvious 

Nessieisreal > We both know I’m the better option. He created a whole forest in our backyard, broke the roof 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you murder people for idiotic reasons,,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you swear more than me which is shocking,,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > NO ONE understands your accent,,

Nessieisreal > ok you know what,,

Nessieisreal > WHEN YOU GET BAD YOU GET THAT STUPID FUCKING ACCEN NOBODY UNDERSTANDS AND YOU SOUND LIKE YOURE A BACKGROUND SINGER FOR A PUNK METAL BAND

Nessieisreal > don’t talk to me about accents

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you’re usually the one that gets everyone angry enough for my accent to go off the walls

Nessieisreal > that’s bullshit and we both know that you blow up every time something small happens. Your fcuking tea cabinet is empty????? You don’t have any milk? You somehow manage to blow up the kitchen making tea??

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > first off I’ve never blown up the kitchen making /tea/

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > second it’s expensive tea so anyone in their right mind would be upset

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > third,,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > bliteus belua es! 

Nessieisreal > ok but do you really want /Arthur/ here around your new wife I mean he does have a history,,,,,,,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > you drank out of skulls so

Nessieisreal > EVERYONE’s drank out of skulls

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > YOU STILL TRY TO AT LEAST ONCE EVERY FEW WEEKS

Nessieisreal > c’mon they’re /fake/ just because they’re modelled after real skulls doesn’t mean they’re direct,, think of all the old dead people germs

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > that’s still pretty fucked up

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > honestly you need to see someone about that

Nessieisreal > nice one dodging the fact that you have deeper problems you should see someone about

Nessieisreal > I won’t go into specifics, I don’t want to trigger the impossible accent there again.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I’m not sure what to say to that

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > anything I say might cause you to talk and confuse everyone even more

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > but hey,

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > that’s none of my business

Nessieisreal > just for that last part can we just agree his memes are too stale for him to be your best man 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > with you at the altar everyone would stare at your hair instead of the couple

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > its the same color as the flames of hell and I wish I was exaggerating

Nessieisreal > Oh but I thought Romania was the fire guy? Either way, talking to you is hell already.

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > likewise

Nessieisreal > Staaaaale

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...that’s a meme?

Nessieisreal > No, your comebacks are generally stale.

Nessieisreal > We have the same argument every time over different things, it’s uninteresting

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I hope he’s made a decision this is getting too dull to continue

3catholic5u > uh

3catholic5u > to call upon the sanity in the room…

3catholic5u > Mary help seriously what in the heck is going on here

Gottagobelfast > I’m still waiting for you to say I’m the best man, Scotland and England are being their usual selves, Wales is reading and also trying to figure out who’s gonna win. We’re still discluding Peter, and you’re pretending you don’t know Australia and New Zealand. Anything else is beyond me

3catholic5u > huh

3catholic5u > well

3catholic5u > do we know anyone with an unbiased opinion or

3catholic5u > should I just scroll Skype and whichever nation I land on chooses? 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > well, it ensures a win so of course 

3catholic5u > ...shit

 

3catholic5u >> added JustLudwig to the conversation

 

3catholic5u > So uh

JustLudwig > the other two are insane, no one knows anything about Wales, so it's Mary

JustLudwig > you're welcome

 

JustLudwig >> has left the conversation

 

3catholic5u > ...he does have a point

Gottagobelfast > :^))

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Alistair can we disown him

Eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > we can right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We won't do those interaction things until a few chapters later, but if you have questions you can comment on the livestream chapter.


	80. In Which Nobody Wants to Be a Bridesmaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not yet for the questions, but you can still go back and comment on the livestream chapter if you have questions. No spamming the same questions,, More than one for each person allowed,, go wild kiddos this is what we do when we have creative block or need filler I guess. But we do have plenty Ideas coming so....... Also, here's a short chapter.

Draconianbanshee >> has added thespaqueen and hungaryandhungary to the conversation

 

Draconianbanshee > *freezeframe*

Draconianbanshee > I'm sure you're wondering why you're here

Thespaqueen > nope

Hungaryandhungry > not in the least

Draconianbanshee > …

Draconianbanshee > anyways

Draconianbanshee > I have a slight problem. That involves you two. 

Thespaqueen > ew more work I’m already out

Draconianbanshee > no I uh

Draconianbanshee > need a maid of honour and I know you two best? And I don't know what to do?   
I gtg  
Hungaryandhungry > no thanks. Adela u got this

Thespaqueen > no I insist,,,,,,,, really, Liz,,

Hungaryandhungry > No really it’s fine. I insist.

Thespaqueen > no really you got this, you love responsibly .

Hungaryandhungary > no really, take the chance this time. 

Draconianbanshee > OK so this is not what I planned would happen

Draconianbanshee > anyways 

Draconianbanshee > who? 

Thespaqueen > not it

Hungaryandhungary > we didn't decide we we're doing not it this is tyranny 

Draconianbanshee > ...any suggestions? Anyone I actually know? 

Hungaryandhungary > anyone but us, what is responsibility 

Draconianbanshee > then w h o

 

Thespaqueen >> added love&rosesaesthetic to the conversation 

 

Love&rosesaesthetic > OK so why am I here

Draconianbanshee > wait wait

Draconianbanshee > this could work

Thespaqueen > read Francis 

Thespaqueen > so is that a yes or…? 

Love&rosesaesthetic > so I get to wear a dress in front of Arthur and have him die of hysterics? 

Love&rosesaesthetic > I mean I'm honoured and all but I'm doing it for that

Love&rosesaesthetic > what color are the dresses? Red? 

Draconianbanshee > red was the plan

Love&rosesaesthetic > nice 

Thespaqueen > perfect so now all I have to do is show up and do nothing else??

Love&rosesaesthetic > no

Love&rosesaesthetic > no no no

Love&rosesaesthetic > you're helping me with my hair 

Love&rosesaesthetic > I need a side braid 

Thespaqueen > wow cmon give me a challenge here that's like what, thirty seconds tops? 

Draconianbanshee > well could you do mine? You can have fun with mine as long as it's wedding-y

Draconianbanshee > also isn't the world record for a side braid maybe 2 minutes 

Thespaqueen > I'm not human it doesn't count 

Thespaqueen > fishtail braid made up of a few larger braids and regular hair, then I can lace some daisies into it

Love&rosesaesthetic > dibs on that style

Love&rosesaesthetic > make it better for the bride use red roses it'll look nice with her hair

Thespaqueen > excuse you, who here can do a whole head of jamaican braids in under ten minutes???? 

Love&rosesaesthetic > yeah and who has the best fashion and color coordination skills here? 

Thespaqueen > ok but the plan: her hair is the masterpiece

Thespaqueen > but if you insist come it with your hair shampooed like two days before and we’ll think of something then.

Love&rosesaesthetic > nice

Draconianbanshee > this is incredible you're planning part of my wedding thank you

Thespaqueen > and for the bridesmaids… you know the other ones,,,, just a fishtail would work? Or the braids from behind tied back?

Draconianbanshee > fishtails I guess

Thespaqueen > cool cool

Hungaryandhungry > should I go or

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Dibs on that style" Francis is like 2 confirmed.


	81. In Which Its Been 8 Months Sorry For The Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so we answered some of your questions and I spent an hour and a half on the link

love&rosesaesthetic > [ https://78.media.tumblr.com/a6703de97b0fa0517c06898b5790d7da/tumblr_p1hpita2aG1wut9kuo1_1280.png ](https://78.media.tumblr.com/a6703de97b0fa0517c06898b5790d7da/tumblr_p1hpita2aG1wut9kuo1_1280.png)

 

love&rosesaesthetic > WAIT NO WRONG CHAT

 

love&rosesaesthetic > HOW DO I DELETE THINGS

 

Thespaqueen > woah

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...Isn’t that supposed to be my reaction

 

Notavamp > why do you have a link for it

 

Notavamp > shameless promo

 

Thespaqueen > if I wanted to see that francis I’d probably just

 

Thespaqueen > hop on over to redtube

 

love&rosesaesthetic > first off fuck you

 

love&rosesaesthetic > second,,,

 

love&rosesaesthetic > I don’t know where I was going with that

 

Thespaqueen > understandable, have a good day

 

love&rosesaesthetic > thanks

 

Hungaryandhungry > what was that even for

 

Vikingking > who took the picture

 

love&rosesaesthetic > timed camera and

 

love&rosesaesthetic > reasons,,, that you don’t need to know

 

Thespaqueen > if you’re gonna send us your softcore porn at least tell us what for

 

love&rosesaesthetic > yeah so that’s the dress I’ll be wearing

 

love&rosesaesthetic > I don’t know if the bride to be told you guys but I’m the maid of honor

 

3catholic5u > oh yeah my sister is the best man

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ,,,,,,,I think I’m going to faint what’s going on since when do you own that dress when did you even get it hot damn it what the actual fuck is going on

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > *God damn it

 

Draconianbanshee > well you’re smooth as ever

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > the letters are relatively close to each other

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I guess

 

Iceicebby > well this is great

 

Iceicebby > what a wholesome conversation we are having today

 

Iceicebby > amen

 

love&rosesaesthetic > ,,,murder me

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ;)

 

Draconianbanshee > and this is how we acknowledge the fact that we haven’t spoken on skype for 6 ish months

 

Draconianbanshee > should I be surprised? no

 

Draconianbanshee > am I disappointed? Slightly

 

Thespaqueen > aw bb I thought you would be devastated ;;;

 

Hungaryandhungry > …

 

Draconianbanshee > I

 

Draconianbanshee > what

 

Thespaqueen > exactly

 

Thespaqueen > did you say something?

 

Draconianbanshee > what

 

Draconianbanshee > ???

 

Thespaqueen > wh

 

Notavamp > well since we’re only ever here for salt 

 

Notavamp > ,,,I can’t think of anything

 

Notavamp > what has these months done to us

 

Thespaqueen > nothing, you’re just as dumb as you were before

 

Notavamp > even you lost your touch and that honestly scares me

 

Vikingking > half of you live on the internet why were you all gone

 

Notavamp > my guess: two tired teenagers with too little time on their hands got bored during their break

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...that’s ridiculous. Try to come up with something reasonable at least.

 

Thespaqueen > ah

 

Notavamp > two tired teens trying to fit in something before net neutrality goes to shit?

 

Thespaqueen > I get you’re trying to be topical but you’re too late, 

 

Notavamp > wait is america screwed again

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > probably

 

Thespaqueen > bring him in

 

love&rosesaesthetic > nO he’ll see the picture

  
  


Iceicebby >> added Eagle_boy_123 to the conversation 

  
  


Eagle_boy_123 > wait you’re adding me

 

Eagle_boy_123 > what

 

Eagle_boy_123 > what did you do who died

 

Eagle_boy_123 > francis what the fucK

 

love&rosesaesthetic > …

 

Iceicebby > let it spread

 

Eagle_boy_123 > should I post it or

 

love&rosesaesthetic > cyberbullying 

 

Eagle_boy_123 > work chat?

 

love&rosesaesthetic > I’ll murder you stop it

 

Eagle_boy_123 > ...

 

Thespaqueen > too late, I just put it out

 

love&rosesaesthetic > let the record know that I read that as too late, I just pulled it out

 

love&rosesaesthetic > also ITS NOT THERE PLEASE DON’T

 

Thespaqueen > its there

 

Thespaqueen > and im gonna put it on the czechia--official instagram page

 

love&rosesaesthetic > is there a way to make sure I don’t come back to life

 

love&rosesaesthetic > I want to spend an eternity in pain instead of facing that

 

Iceicebby > yea

 

love&rosesaesthetic > work your magic 

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...that exists?

 

Vikingking > well yeah

 

Vikingking > we just didn’t really trust you with it

 

Vikingking > you had,,, some issues 

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > …

 

Thespaqueen > on a different note,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

Thespaqueen > as much as I would like to talk about death magic,,,,,

 

Thespaqueen > it causes too many plot holes

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I mean

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > We did send someone to another dimension accidentally that one time because he pulled a gun on Francis

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > That’s a plot hole we never resolved.

 

Thespaqueen > shh that was so long ago

 

Iceicebby > everything is so long ago we haven’t talked like this in months

 

Mybrothersavampire > I WAS GROUNDED

 

Notavamp > FOR A WEEK BC YOU PUT A SPOON IN THE BLENDER AND CLAIMED IT WAS TO GET MORE IRON IN YOUR DIET

 

Notavamp > IT WAS A SPOON AND MILK

 

Notavamp > YOU BROKE THE BLENDER

 

Mybrothersavampire > life’s too long to worry about spoons in blenders, but staying SWOLE and eating iron is forever

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > staying what

 

Mybrothersavampire > SWOLE

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > ...alright then

 

3catholic5u > but did it do anything to the spoon

 

Notavamp > ,,,yes

 

Mybrothersavampire > yeah and since he threw out the drink it couldn’t do anything to my BIG BUFF body

 

3catholic5u > well I thought you were going somewhere else with that

 

Mybrothersavampire > MY BIG BUFF heart

 

Draconianbanshee > thank goodness that didn’t go where we thought it would

 

Mybrothersavampire > my big kind soul

 

Mybrothersavampire > is that it

 

Thespaqueen > this isn’t the moldova we all know and love

 

Mybrothersavampire > the stream is up again

 

Draconianbanshee > oh no

 

Mybrothersavampire > we have questions

 

Draconianbanshee > oh no

 

Mybrothersavampire > oh look I’m already skipping one

 

Notavamp > so I’m on the stream and I see that Olivia Kirkland asked “who’s this boy Moldova” and we’d all like to know

 

Mybrothersavampire > no

 

Mybrothersavampire > sorry I suddenly can’t read

 

love&rosesaesthetic > tell usssss

 

Mybrothersavampire > fardreamer333 asks “if for one week each of you HAD to be a different country than the one you are now, which country would you want to be and why?”

 

Mybrothersavampire > hmmm

 

Mybrothersavampire > holy roman empire

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Why…?

 

Mybrothersavampire > because he’s dead

 

Thespaqueen > now theres the moldova we all came to know and love

 

love&rosesaesthetic > speaking of people you came to know and love,,,

 

love&rosesaesthetic > Olivia Kirkland wants to know

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Ok but how common of a last name is it that’s what I want to know

 

Mybrothersavampire > yea lets talk about that

 

love&rosesaesthetic > answer the question 

 

Mybrothersavampire > im like three ok leave me alone

 

3catholic5u > tell us

 

Mybrothersavampire > its alexei

 

Notavamp > we still don’t know who that is so you could have said it earlier

 

Mybrothersavampire > yeah but it still stalls time

 

Thespaqueen > it also makes us want to know more

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Well to answer fardreamer333’s question,,,

 

Thespaqueen > moldova, because I would be able to find out who this guy is

 

Hungaryandhungry > it would also mean you like guys

 

Thespaqueen > ††† I take back everything

 

Hungaryandhungry > is myrna a possible answer?? She isnt a place but she doesnt have to work and is immortal

 

Draconianbanshee > ,,,I have a job and I don’t think it counts

 

Draconianbanshee > but hey I’d be Iceland bc magic, memes, and supportive brothers

 

Iceicebby > I would be hong kong because I get to blow shit up and annoy arthur

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > …

 

Vikingking > I’d be france bc his house is quiet

 

Notavamp > I’d be canada bc he doesn’t actually have his shit together and maybe I could help I guess

 

3catholic5u > Italy bc,,, why not

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > And with that we move to our next question from SurrealSupernaturalist,

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > actually lets leave that question alone 

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > moving on,,,

 

Thespaqueen > type one in the chat if u know what Arthur’s worst crime is

 

Thespaqueen > double points because we technically were fucked by a fucked up thing

 

Notavamp > there are children in this chat

 

Notavamp > no doubt some of our viewers are 9 or something

 

Vikingking > …

 

Vikingking > yeah so should the ones who weren’t affected by Artie’s reign of terror speak up or

 

Vikingking > well I guess I sacrificed my entire crew to Ægir that one time

 

Thespaqueen > i wont ask

 

Iceicebby > you were all here to witness my emo meltdown

 

Notavamp > I broke a guy’s heart that one time??? I guess???

 

Notavamp > I’m assuming we’re leaving out wars and battles and stuff

 

Draconianbanshee > I stole from a party city once on a trip to America

 

Thespaqueen > she’s a keeper

 

Draconianbanshee > aw thanks

 

Notavamp > Ok so the last one is “ What is everyone's physical age? Like I get that Moldova is like 5 or something but what is everyone else's age? ” from LukaDeTrolla and why are you so interested

 

Mybrothersavampire > I was gonna call it boring but. I am not five

 

Mybrothersavampire > I will have you know im the ripe age of 9 so shut the fuck up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops


	82. In Which Something Bad Finally Happens To Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a mistake

Draconianbanshee >> added thefabulouspolska, eyebrow&sconeaesthetic, notavamp, vikingking, hungaryandhungary, love&rosesaesthetic, thespaqueen, iceicebby, and mybrothersavampire to the conversation  

  
  


Draconianbanshee > WHAT’S THE PROTOCOL FOR A DEAD GUY

 

Thespaqueen > it depends who died

 

Draconianbanshee > SEAMUS

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > wait what he never dies what happened

 

Draconianbanshee > I MEAN HE CHOKED ON HIS CEREAL BUT I DON’T THINK THAT’S IMPORTANT

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > he

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > he what

 

Draconianbanshee > YEP

 

Iceicebby > you fool

 

Iceicebby > you absolute imbecile

 

Iceicebby > he did what

 

Draconianbanshee > I left for five minutes to water fucking plants and i came back to a dead guy

 

Thespaqueen > i know its a bad time but its cute that you guys live together now

 

Draconianbanshee > thank you but we’re engaged so we live together and he’s kinda dead rn so 

 

Draconianbanshee > do I hide the body what if people come over

 

Notavamp > you hang him on a hanger and put him in the closet and hope no one comes over?

 

Iceicebby > you say this under the assumption that you have friends to come visit you

 

Draconianbanshee > I have

 

Draconianbanshee > three friends

 

Draconianbanshee > that aren’t in this chat

 

Draconianbanshee > who knows they might come over and think I killed him

 

Vikingking > nothing ever happens to seamus what the fuck

 

Vikingking > he doesn’t join in on any of our schemes and he’d just kinda there for commentary

 

Thespaqueen > ok just put him in your dryer or something

 

Draconianbanshee > are you guys just used to handling dead bodies bc I’m n o t

 

Thespaqueen > I mean if he choked and there’s no real damage other than like

 

Thespaqueen > bad at eating cereal

 

Thespaqueen > he’s probably back in like half a day??

 

Draconianbanshee > so theres gonna be a dead guy at my kitchen table for half a day bc of fucking cereal

 

Draconianbanshee > I don’t even know if I should be upset bc he’ll be back in a bit

 

love&rosesaesthetic > I mean he’s still dead but that’s a horrible way to die

 

Thespaqueen > are you upset???? I mean we’ve all seen them at one point or another

 

Thespaqueen > if you’ve been to a wake or anything

 

Draconianbanshee > yeah but we’ve lost all traditions dealing with death bc it just doesn’t happen as much anymore and the last time I saw a dead body I was teN

 

Draconianbanshee > what do I do its kinda trippy

 

Thespaqueen > Well if you’re uncomfortable with the super dead dead part about it

 

Thespaqueen > his skin isn’t gonna go waxy and blue or anything

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Adela that’s not comforting

 

Thespaqueen > fuck

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > I mean you’re right but at least the rigor mortis won’t set in or anything.

 

Draconianbanshee > I uh

 

Draconianbanshee > yeah that’s not comforting either

 

Thespaqueen > he’ll be back but evening and you can make fun of him eating cereal like a toddler

 

Notavamp > but was it lucky charms

 

Draconianbanshee > cheerios

 

love&rosesaesthetic > where do we take this after that

 

Draconianbanshee > I don’t know I mean he’s still dead

 

Thespaqueen > yeah it’s been fifteen minutes

 

Draconianbanshee > so the whole time is weird thing is conditional?? It feels like it’s been longer

 

Draconianbanshee > this is really strange ok bc if it were any other situation he’d be really dead but mortal dead but he’s him and I don’t know how to react

 

Thespaqueen > I mean you could always just like

 

Thespaqueen > prop him into bed if your friends come over and say he’s sleeping??

 

Thespaqueen > then when he wakes up if theyre still there then you can play it off as hes just tired

 

Draconianbanshee > I’m just gonna make sure the curtains are closed or something

 

Thespaqueen > fair enough

 

Draconianbanshee > wait is he gonna smell

 

Thespaqueen > no no no

 

Thespaqueen > IMAGINE HE STARTS SMELLING LIKE CHERIOS

 

Draconianbanshee > that would be 

 

Draconianbanshee > well not great bc he’s dead but great bc cheerios kinda smell nice I guess?

 

Vikingking > how are we supposed to respond to that

 

Iceicebby > isn’t this being livestreamed

 

Mybrothersavampire > maybe

 

Notavamp > no one thinks this is real so does it matter??

 

Mybrothersavampire > thats a good point

 

Draconianbanshee > I guess its entertaining for people to watch so

 

Draconianbanshee > if you think its worth it then leave it on?

 

Mybrothersavampire > I feel like eventually someone’s gonna dox one of us to see if its real

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Wait you have enough viewers for people to actually care about us?

 

Thespaqueen > there are a few people i wouldn’t put it above

 

eyebrow&sconeaesthetic > Good point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its short bc we ran out of ideas


End file.
